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Tracking Spreadsheet

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SMJHL S51 Game 24 - KEL @ DET

SMJHL Game 24 Advanced Taterlytics Report:
Posessor: Zach Magoon @Gooner51
Team: Detroit Falcons
Victim: Gylfi Eriksson @pazuzu15
Team: Kelowna Knights
Time: 5:13 of 2nd period
Total possession time:  25:13
Hot po-take-to:
Magoon the Goon continued his incessant chirping on the ice to anyone within earshot. “Anyone can get some, let’s go!” he shouted at players, coaches, even fans and little children. Many parents had to resort to teaching their kids “ear muffs” to try to combat his utterly repulsive, but also quite impressively creative, vulgar trash talk. “I see it as an art form of sorts. I’m Pablo Piccaso and that kid over there in section 3 with Eriksson’s jersey on was my canvas.” That kid wasn’t available for comment after the game.

SMJHL Game 24 Advanced Taterlytics Report:
Posessor: Gylfi Eriksson @pazuzu15
Team: Kelowna Knights
Victim: N/A
Team: Detroit Falcons
Time: N/A
Total possession time:  34:47
Hot po-take-to:
Eriksson promised that young kid that’d he’d work on his trash talking game to bring vengeance to Magoon. Unfortunately for both of them, there’s a lot of work to be done. “You like...can’t skate very well you big dummy!” The Falcons bench roared with laughter nearly falling over each other at the horrendous, repeated chirping attempts by Eriksson. “At least our mascot didn’t almost go extinct in North America in 1999!” Yikes. This is gonna be a rough one.

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SMJHL S51 Game 30 - KEL @ LBL

SMJHL Game 30 Advanced Taterlytics Report:
Posessor: Gylfi Eriksson @pazuzu15
Team: Kelowna Knights
Victim: N/A
Team: Lethbridge Lions
Time: N/A
Total possession time:  1:00:00
Hot po-take-to:
Bless his heart. It surely isn’t for a lack of effort, but man oh man. This kid can’t chirp to save his life. “King of the jungle? More like king of the jungle...gym! HA, am i right guys??” The Knight’s bench gave a half hearted chuckle just to appease him. You’d think after talking smack for one and a half games straight there’d be some progress. Not everyone is suited for this as we can clearly see here.

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