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Slowpoke · 01-10-2020, 05:21 PM

4. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)
Pretend that your team has hit an injury bug - the roster is so depleted that your coach is asking you to play out of position. What position is your coach asking you to play and what about your player build will help you be successful in this new role?

Piotr has a big booty. Playing defense makes sense, but if the team was plagued by injuries, the next best position would be goalie. Piotr is not an elegant player, and he will probably bring the same level of physical play to the goalie position. His entire game plan would be to put his giant ass in front of any shot that came. He wouldn’t be the most agile goalie, and probably wouldn’t make any highlight reel saves, but he would eat up a ton of net space. Piotr would also be a liability with the penalties, and may actually put himself in more trouble than usual as he wouldn’t really take it to kindly if an opposing player were in his crease. The old defender mentality of clearing that space as well as being the goalie would not be a good idea. All of this would be an improvement over what would happen if he ended up as a winger…..

5. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)
The Most Generic Prompt of All Time - what is your player looking forward to in the offseason? What are they planning on doing? Training? Relaxing? Testing free agency? Whatever it is, let us know!

The answer to this question is the same as it’s been every other time it comes up. Piotr goes home during the offseason. He takes the time to go back to visit his family, spend time with them, and spend some time on the pond with Vasily and the rest of his family. This has been a family tradition for decades. Being that his family has deep roots in the community it isn’t fair to ask them to uproot everything and move to Texas. So that means when they are off playing during the season they move where they need to, and then come back to visit. This is the time of the year that Piotr allows himself to relax. He spends some mornings sleeping in, not waking early for the morning skates. He eats a little more than usually and indulges in sweet and foods he wouldn’t think about touching during the regular season. The drinking doesn’t change much, but he is Russian, who would expect anything else.

7. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)
The SHL, trying to re-extend popularity among a fan base whose numbers have diminished this quarter, is hosting a town hall think tank right before the finals. It is a well-attended event, and many come forward with ideas to reinvigorate the league. What are some ways the SHL can re-ignite that flame with fans and soar to new heights of popularity? (don't you dare write about sim engines here, pretend this is a real life hockey league and answer it that way lol)

The biggest problem with the league is how inaccessible it is to the mass population. It’s also kind of hard to understand. I think the key to success is going to get people interested in, and knowledgeable about the league, the game, and its players. Having the players go out into their communities to hold clinics at the local school would meet those goals. Kids would be able to see that the players are just people like them and it would allow the players to meet their annual community service requirements. The kids who learn about the game would be immediately introduced to the local stars, as well as learning about the game. This would increase interest, and if kids are interested, then the parents will be to. This could further be leveraged by having family night at the games where tickets are sold at a discounted rate for families.

5. Written, up to 5 TPE Pick up to 5 Challenge Cup related topics to write about! Each topic is worth 1 TPE. Each answer must be 50+ words to qualify.
A. Tommy Tuck posted a better SV% during the regular season, but Geezus Kryyst has been lights out during the playoffs. Which team has the advantage in goal for this series?

When it comes to goaltending it is less about the entire body of work, and more about where they are right now. With that said, I believe that Kryyst will be the more dominant goalie as he will continue to be hot. This is still a great matchup, but Geezuz has the edge.

B. Edmonton averages more hits per game than Hamilton, but also more PIMs - and Hamilton has proven pretty deadly on the power play this postseason while the Blizzard's PK has struggled. Be the coach: should Edmonton stick to a physical style of play or back off a bit in this series?

Stick with what got you there. They have been more physical which, even though it does cause more penalties, it also causes more turnovers. Don’t reinvent the wheel just because you are in the finals. That’s a great way to get to find yourself down early, and maybe packing your bags.

C. Who is your X-factor skater in this series? Who's got the intangibles? Who's gonna step up for their team when it matters most? Why do you think so?

Sticking with the theme of staying physical, I believe that Dank Boija could have the biggest impact in the series. Playing for the less physical team, he is going to have to step it up to match that intensity. A greater than point per game player, as well as one who leads through physicality, he might be the key to the whole series.

D. Which player name is your favorite from the rosters of these two teams? (not your favorite player, but your favorite name)

This is easy. Hugh Jazz. Its witty, but not to dirty. It fits right in the gray area between being to childish and going over people’s heads. It also shows some level of creativity from the user. It would have been too simple to just use Jass, but no. They went with originality.

E. WOULD YOU RATHER: (a) eat a Pepperoni pizza with Tony Pepperoni (debatably cannibalism), (b) get a nice long hug from Teddy Cuddles, © have Tor and Tommy Tuck tuck you into bed at night, (d) do squats with Hugh Jazz, (e) have a tug of war with Tig, or (f) have Aaron Wilson uncover a brand new strategy for your team to use? Why?

Being tucked into bed by Tor and Tommy would be the highlight of my month. Bed is one of my favorite things. It’s warm and calming, and having those two there with me? Amazing. The only thing that could make it better is if they would stick around to read me a nice story.

soulja · 01-10-2020, 05:45 PM

Task 1

Funny enough that both of these are Canadian cities, neither are very interesting as well. But if we had to choose, we would be going for games 1 and 2 in Edmonton. The reason being is that it has the largest mall in North America, which is the West Edmonton Mall. As all of our expenses are covered I would visit the mall and enjoy the awesome water park they have. I may even try to hit it with some single moms and see if I can get lucky. Once that is done, I will visit some of their high end bougie stores and get me some nice shoes, shirt and pants. I will then buy a lot of liquor and have a party where I am staying at, which is the renaissance Edmonton Hotel. I got myself a presidential suite to bring in some ladies and enjoy the night like Dan Bilzerian.

Task 2

In the Alternate reality, Winnipeg Jets would make it through all the way until the finals. There they will be facing against Hamilton Steelhawks. Once again, it is two canadian teams that will be facing off against each other for the challenge cup. The difference is that the Jets in the Alternate reality have Zlatan Ibrahimovic Junior playing for them. Ibra Junior was called up early in the alternate reality and started to have a crazy rookie year. For someone who can't score if his life depended on it, he was at the top of the boards when it came to assists. Hell, he had more assists than forwards. This speaks of his great hockey IQ and sense as he is able to see the rink very well and know what his next move should be before his opposition. In addition to his great passing, he has his iron wall of a defense and bulldozer of a body that will penetrate the opposition. Ibra Jr. was a big surprise this season, and the crowd love him. In Game 7 of the finals in overtime, ibra used his body to stop the puck and dished out a quick pass so that his teammate can get the team winner and land the Jets their challenge cup after so long. What an year this has been for the Jets in the Alternate reality.

Task 4

It is game 7 of the semifinals between the Calgary Dragons and the Winnipeg Jets. The winner will make it to the finals for a chance at the Challenge cup against the East Champion, Hamilton Steelhawks. But there is one issue for the Jets. Their roster has been depleted due to injuries and the coach comes to Ibra jr for aid. He asks him to play an alternate position to fill in the void. This would be none other than goaltender. At first Zlatan was like, shut the F*** up. Don't joke around but he quickly came to the realization that this was no joke at all. Having never played goalie in his life, Zlatan steps up for the challenge. Pucks come flying at him and just like that, Big Z blocks everything. His great defensive IQ and his skating abilities allow him to naturally play goaltender. On top of that, his freakish athleticism and his acrobatic skills and perfect for this new role. His weakness of scoring does not even matter per say in this new role. It's as if this is Zlatan's natural position. The dragons get mad and start showering him with shots but Big Z just laughs it off and catches everything. What a monster and the crowd goes crazy. The dragons are unable to penetrate this Swedish hunk and the Jets take an easy victory to advance to the finals. What a game it has been for big Z who got 1st Star.

Task 5

During the offseason, Ibra Jr., will be looking to fly back to Sweden to enjoy time with his family. Sources say that he will train his body with his dad to become even more of an animal than he currently is. Ibra Jr., will continue to work on his defensive abilities but at the same time work on some offense. He needs to learn how to score and the best way to do that would be to train with his dad, who was a goal machine. His current scoring of 40 is abysmal and he will look to improve this to 60 during the offseason. So that it is at least mediocre. In addition to his training, Zlatan will visit the spa on a daily basis, but once again sources say that he goes there for a little extra something. I guess this is needed when he works his body that hard on a regular basis to better himself. Zlatan knows that he is easily the best product of his draft and wants to prove everyone that did not pick him that they made a huge mistake. For this to happen, he is ready to do whatever he can.

Task 9

season fifty-two
Is the time for us to strike
We are Winnipeg

Task 13

[Image: LX0wJdP.png]

Nokazoa · 01-10-2020, 06:06 PM

Code:
11. Graphic, 3 TPE

With all eyes on the finals for the highest TV numbers of the season, ad agencies like to put their best foot forward and feature SHL stars to advertise their product. Create a still-image advertisement featuring an SHL player advertising a new product. Include a player render, team logo, and a few words or a slogan about the product.

Done!

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12. Graphic, 2 TPE

Simple and straightforward - make a promotional poster for the S50 CC Finals. Must include at least one player render and the logos and names of both teams. Option A: make a good graphic. Option B: make a shitty graphic. Either will receive TPE.

Done!

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13. Graphic, 3 TPE

Design a Challenge Cup Championship banner for one of the teams in the finals, like those which appear on the side of the site. Maybe you'd like to include some "parmesan cheese" in your banner? ;)

Done!

Code:
15. Written, up to 5 TPE Pick up to 5 Challenge Cup related topics to write about! Each topic is worth 1 TPE. Each answer must be 50+ words to qualify.

A. Tommy Tuck posted a better SV% during the regular season, but Geezus Kryyst has been lights out during the playoffs. Which team has the advantage in goal for this series?

B. Edmonton averages more hits per game than Hamilton, but also more PIMs - and Hamilton has proven pretty deadly on the power play this postseason while the Blizzard's PK has struggled. Be the coach: should Edmonton stick to a physical style of play or back off a bit in this series?

C. Who is your X-factor skater in this series? Who's got the intangibles? Who's gonna step up for their team when it matters most? Why do you think so?

D. Which player name is your favorite from the rosters of these two teams? (not your favorite player, but your favorite name)

E. WOULD YOU RATHER: (a) eat a Pepperoni pizza with Tony Pepperoni (debatably cannibalism), (b) get a nice long hug from Teddy Cuddles, (c) have Tor and Tommy Tuck tuck you into bed at night, (d) do squats with Hugh Jazz, (e) have a tug of war with Tig, or (f) have Aaron Wilson uncover a brand new strategy for your team to use? Why?

A. I have to go with future HOFer Tommy Tuck because he is my boy. I do have some concerns with Hammy's shots per game, but at the end of the day you have to side with the man you know. So Tuck. I mean he is at least gonna have a lot of stops and EDM isn't a stranger to scoring.

B. I think EDM should back off a bit since this sim doesnt have injuries on. We cant do the tried and true method, and with Hammy-gate, we may be at a disadvantage this series. I would argue that we need to get HAM on the pk, shorties are much harder to score.

C. I think Dale Miller is your x-factor. he has had a good playoff run this year, and he isn't always on your radar, ya know. However, he has stepped up for his team this playoffs, and if he continues that may be a problem for the Blizkids.

D. Tony Pepperoni- Like it is just so fun to say. I mean its so fun. Also I did a sig for the name and It was a lot more fun to write than the typical dick joke names you get. Not as food as Tommy Salami though, but it is a good name since I didn't look at Hammy's players.

E. I would like Tor and Tommy to tuck me into bed. Mainly because Jean-Paul can go to sleep knowing the Tommy Tuck will be catching all his bad dreams in the goalie glove dream catcher they made for JPB. Also JPB can start calling them the wrong name to annoy them. It always gets a laugh from JPB.

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18. Casual Member Special, 3 TPE max - 1 TPE for participation, 0.5 TPE for each correct answer - SEND ANSWER IN PM TO "PT DIRECTOR" (tagged below)

A. In which season did the Hamilton Steelhawks last win the Challenge Cup?

B. Name a player who has won the Anton Razov trophy while playing for the Edmonton Blizzard

C. Which Edmonton Blizzard player famously has a cow as their player render?

D. Of the 18 skaters on Hamilton's playoff roster, how many of them have a Passing rating higher than their Scoring rating?

DONE!

3+5+3+2+3
8+5+3
8+8
16

dankoa · 01-10-2020, 06:22 PM

Code:
1. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)

VIP Status again babyyyyyyyy - your player has been invited to attend one of the first homestands of the CC finals as a VIP guest - all expenses paid, front row seats, any hotel you want - and it's all on the Commissioner's dime! Eggy has complained to me the past two seasons about having to pay for this so I'm graciously volunteering SDCore to front the costs for this season's splurge! Are you going to Games 1 and 2 in Edmonton or Games 3 and 4 in Hamilton? Why are you picking there? And what are you going to do in that city to run up SD's tab?? (This is the same prompt as in the past but we've got different cities! be creative! Don't re-use what was written last season.)

Kaarlo Kekkonen jumped on a flight out to Edmonton this week to catch Game 3 of the Challenge Cup finals. After all the controversy that’s hit the league this season the games have been almost empty and so the league’s commissioner Cory gave Kaarlo the full VIP treatment in order to make the game look better attended. Kaarlo brought a load of his boys with him and they spent the evening drinking martinis and smoking cigars pre game. It’s rumoured Cory grew more and more worried with each round and soon regretted his offer. After hitting the game up they went out and found the most expensive fillet mignon in the city, and decided to stop there for some food. After eating as much as they could physically fit in, they hit the town, visiting some of the most cool and expensive night spots in Edmonton; not exactly spoiled for choice I know. After giving Cory’s card one last sweep they headed to their luxurious hotel to sleep it off. A limousine was booked for the next morning and they were out as quickly as they arrived, leaving Cory to pick up a heartbreaking tab for their fun.

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3. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)

The two finals teams have decided to team up for a fundraising opportunity to benefit both cities. What noble cause will the teams decide to benefit? What sort of fundraiser will the teams hold together? How will the two teams mesh before the finals start?

The Hamilton Steelhawks and the Edmonton Blizzard have both decided to raise funds to help every regular user of a website known as "simulationhockey.com" a copy of a game known as Franchise Hockey Manager 6. It's not exactly clear why they decided on this as a viable fundraising cause, or in fact chose this particular game, but it's understood that they are raising as much cash as they can to avoid letting everyone down. The game retails for around 30 dollars and with 200 or so regular users of the site, there is $6,000 that needs to be raised between the two teams. In order to get this money they have decided to release a nude calendar that features some of the more attractive members of both teams, with some big names confirmed including Hugh Jazz and Teddy Cuddles. If they can sell 500 calendars then everyone in the SHL will get a copy of FHM 6 for an undisclosed reason, so dig deep everyone!

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4. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)

Pretend that your team has hit an injury bug - the roster is so depleted that your coach is asking you to play out of position. What position is your coach asking you to play and what about your player build will help you be successful in this new role?

After a series of freak injuries that have hit all the Texas goaltenders and left them unable to play, GM Sven Karlsson and coach Nikita Nevzorov were left with no choice but to ask rookie forward Kaarlo Kekkonen to step in and play in goal. Kaarlo has absolutely zero experience playing in goal and has never done it in his life, so to do so may be a little different for him and doing so in the SHL may not exactly by the ideal first go. It is unclear why Texas didn't simply use some of the millions in cap space they have to pay a free agent to step in, but that kind of speculation does little to fix things. Kaarlo has good puck handling and skating, and it's possible that he may get very lucky and have these translate into some sort of useful goaltending ability, although to be honest this is highly doubtful and the most likely outcome will be him playing very badly and the team suffering for a few painful games.

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5. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)

The Most Generic Prompt of All Time - what is your player looking forward to in the offseason? What are they planning on doing? Training? Relaxing? Testing free agency? Whatever it is, let us know!

Kaarlo is looking forward to listening to every single album released by The Eagles. He has long been known as a fan of the tasteful palette of rock music of the late 70s and has been heavily rumoured to favour The Eagles out of all the bands of the nature. Kaarlo plans on taking at least 90 minutes per day to sit in a comfortable chair, drink a glass of expensive red wine and listen to an Eagles album with his eyes shut. He puts great value on really focussing on the music and taking in the message of each song. It’s not easy for him to pick favourites but he does consider Hotel California a seminal work and enjoys some of the more experimental moments on the album. Additionally, Kaarlo will spend some time exercising just to make sure he doesn’t come back to training camp fat. But otherwise his main focus will be soaking up the musical vibes of one of America’s greatest.

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9. Written, 1 TPE

Write a haiku about an SHL-related topic. Be sure to follow the 3 line, 5-7-5 syllable structure or Godzilla will stomp on your house/apartment while you sleep.

New sim engine soon,
Old sim engine has perished
Time to start anew

Code:
18. Casual Member Special, 3 TPE max - 1 TPE for participation, 0.5 TPE for each correct answer - SEND ANSWER IN PM TO "PT DIRECTOR" (tagged below)

A. In which season did the Hamilton Steelhawks last win the Challenge Cup?

B. Name a player who has won the Anton Razov trophy while playing for the Edmonton Blizzard

C. Which Edmonton Blizzard player famously has a cow as their player render?

D. Of the 18 skaters on Hamilton's playoff roster, how many of them have a Passing rating higher than their Scoring rating?

**Important**: Send the answers to username "PT Director" with the subject of the message titled “S51 CW" - Do not send it to my personal account; those will not be graded. Do not post the answers in here; you will not get credit for the task.

PM sent

ej27 · 01-10-2020, 07:27 PM

1. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)
VIP Status again babyyyyyyyy - your player has been invited to attend one of the first homestands of the CC finals as a VIP guest - all expenses paid, front row seats, any hotel you want - and it's all on the Commissioner's dime! Eggy has complained to me the past two seasons about having to pay for this so I'm graciously volunteering SDCore to front the costs for this season's splurge! Are you going to Games 1 and 2 in Edmonton or Games 3 and 4 in Hamilton? Why are you picking there? And what are you going to do in that city to run up SD's tab?? (This is the same prompt as in the past but we've got different cities! be creative! Don't re-use what was written last season.)

Leo would go to games 3 and 4 in Hamilton because, let's be honest, he doesn't give a fuck about either of these teams, but Hamilton is closer to Concord where he's probably been hanging with his fam since the end of the regular season and a shorter flight is always a good thing. I can't imagine there's much to do in Hamilton, so Leo would probably get an expensive hotel room in Toronto and then hire a limo to drive him to the games. Actually, googling it, it looks like Hamilton does actually have some pretty cool things to do, so maybe Leo would have the limo drop him off at the African Lion Safari before one of the games. But Leo wouldn't want to have to deal with annoying children or whatever on this safari so he'd probably rent the whole place out for the day and take a private tour. He'd also buy some really expensive champagne and figure out some way to sneak it into the arena (or maybe pay off the people checking bags at the door or whatever) to drink during the game.

2. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)
Alternate Reality: Physicists and other smarties believe that this reality is just one of infinite realities existing alongside this one in parallel. Take us over to one of those realities in which everything is the same but these S51 playoffs have unfolded differently. What happened in that reality's playoffs and who's in the Challenge Cup over there?

In this alternate reality, Leo isn't a hockey player, he's a pediatric surgeon and he doesn't have time to give a fuck about the SHL. But assuming everyone else from this reality is still playing hockey, I guess we'll go ahead and say it's the San Franciso Pride versus the Tampa Bay Barracuda. Or really, it's Dominic Montgomery's team versus Olivier Cloutier's team because in this reality Leo doesn't know a damn thing about hockey, but he knows that Cloutier and Montgomery are hot and he'd like to see one of them slam the other into the boards if you know what I mean. Tampa Bay gives the Pride a pretty good run for their money, but in the end the Pride win (hey it's an alternate reality, it could happen!). Leo doesn't catch any of the series except for game 7 because he happens to be in a bar after work and it's playing on every TV in the place. He doesn't really understand any of the game but that's okay, he's drunk and he’s really only in it for the eye candy anyway.

4. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)
Pretend that your team has hit an injury bug - the roster is so depleted that your coach is asking you to play out of position. What position is your coach asking you to play and what about your player build will help you be successful in this new role?

In theory, Leo would make a pretty good forward. (I say “in theory” because he doesn’t score a lot of points as a defenseman, but his scoring would likely increase in a forward position.) He doesn't have any points in faceoff, so the center position is out, but he could play on the wing and not look too out of place, so we'll say the coaches throw him in on the left wing. He's got a scoring build and his scoring is maxed out. Most of his attributes are maxed out at this point, and really when you get to that point a skater could slide over to any skating position and still hold his own. His capped skating, puck handling, and strength would help him hang onto the puck when skating it down the ice and his capped defense would make him defensively responsible as well, so he could slot into the power play or the penalty kill. His checking isn't super high, but that's okay, he won't need to be a physical player as long as he's racking up points.

5. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)
The Most Generic Prompt of All Time - what is your player looking forward to in the offseason? What are they planning on doing? Training? Relaxing? Testing free agency? Whatever it is, let us know!

Since the Pride didn't make playoffs, Leo has a super long offseason to look forward to. He'll probably start out by visiting his parents and younger siblings in Concord. He'll relax at home by the pool, work on his tan, catch up with some old friends, let his step mom dote on him a little, and do some sort of bonding activity with his dad. He'll also probably get roped into carting his little sisters around a lot. His parents have to take advantage of having him around after all. After that, he'll head over to Dom Montgomery's place for Dom's annual 4th of July bash because that's always a good time. Lots of alcohol, fireworks, etc. Murica. After that, he'll probably do a little traveling before he has to buckle down and start training for next season. Greece is nice in the summer I hear, and maybe he'll take some sort of hiking trip since he's an outdoorsy kind of guy. Who knows, the world is his oyster.

9. Written, 1 TPE
Write a haiku about an SHL-related topic. Be sure to follow the 3 line, 5-7-5 syllable structure or Godzilla will stomp on your house/apartment while you sleep.

Championship Week
What the fuck are we doing
What a waste of time

18. Casual Member Special, 3 TPE max - 1 TPE for participation, 0.5 TPE for each correct answer - SEND ANSWER IN PM TO "PT DIRECTOR" (tagged below)
A. In which season did the Hamilton Steelhawks last win the Challenge Cup?
B. Name a player who has won the Anton Razov trophy while playing for the Edmonton Blizzard
C. Which Edmonton Blizzard player famously has a cow as their player render?
D. Of the 18 skaters on Hamilton's playoff roster, how many of them have a Passing rating higher than their Scoring rating?

**Important**: Send the answers to username "PT Director" with the subject of the message titled “S51 CW" - Do not send it to my personal account; those will not be graded. Do not post the answers in here; you will not get credit for the task.

Sent!

Baelor Swift · 01-10-2020, 08:00 PM

Code:
5. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)

The Most Generic Prompt of All Time - what is your player looking forward to in the offseason? What are they planning on doing? Training? Relaxing? Testing free agency? Whatever it is, let us know!

Poopity Scoop is looking forward to eating beans this off-season! He loves beans and will eat many types of beans in the off-season. He will eat black beans and rice. He will eat garbanzo beans mashed up with tahini into a paste that is known as hummus. He will eat black eyed peas, which are actually beans, with rice and meat and stew in a dish called waakye. He will eat baked beans from cans. He will eat kidney beans in salad! He will even eat bean salad! He will also eat green beans because they are vegetable. He will sleep on bean bag chairs and sometimes eat the beans in the chair. He will eat mexican jumping beans and let them jump in his belly! He will eat vanilla bean ice cream for dessert and will eat fava beans. In case you didn't know, lentils are also beans so he will eat lentils! He will also eat soy beans.

Code:
7. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)

The SHL, trying to re-extend popularity among a fan base whose numbers have diminished this quarter, is hosting a town hall think tank right before the finals. It is a well-attended event, and many come forward with ideas to reinvigorate the league. What are some ways the SHL can re-ignite that flame with fans and soar to new heights of popularity? (don't you dare write about sim engines here, pretend this is a real life hockey league and answer it that way lol)

The SHL should pay big money and bring in some of the legends of the day! We can bring back the likes of Steven Jalopski and also bring in some former NHL superstars like Jarome Iginla, Bobby Orr, Gordie Howe, and Martin Brodeur. These people can come and play in the SHL and make fans really come to the rinks to see these old men jumble around on the ice with SHL big stars like Mikhail Loktionov, Michael The Augment Izzy, and GOD McZehrl. These joining of forces will be big money makers and the media will jump right on it! Even those old NHL fans who are hesitant to like the SHL may be forced to come to see their stars of yesteryear play once again and see them test their mettle against the SHL ice hockey players! We can also install the t-shirt cannons in all SHL ice arenas and put burritos inside and send them to fans! We can also put golden tickets inside some of the burritos that the fans can then redeem for a meeting with SHL Commissioner Eggy and get to talk to him about his reign over the SHL. Others may be able to meet with players like Viktor Marius and Harvey Danger to boost their interests.

Code:
8. Written, 4 TPE

Write a sonnet about an SHL-related topic. Be sure to follow the proper ABAB-CDCD-EFEF-GG rhyme structure or your HS English (or equivalent any-language Writing teacher) will track you down in and give you a failing grade.

SONNET: http://www.shakespeare-online.com/sonnet...style.html

Fifty seasons of light, the darkness is here
Imperfect Simon's time has come to an end
But listen all, we should not fear
It is not the end of the road, for we have reached a bend

The team is working like busy bees
To overcome the exploits of boys in blue and grey
Yes, the Steelhawks are the ones that have made the SHL freeze
Aaronwilson's 24 hours of simming have led to this day

While they may have won for this season now
The forces are fighting and we are strong
Hallsy may be mean like Chairman Mao
But a revolution is coming, do not wait long

FHM is coming to save us all
And the evil Hamiltons, they will fall

Code:
9. Written, 1 TPE

Write a haiku about an SHL-related topic. Be sure to follow the 3 line, 5-7-5 syllable structure or Godzilla will stomp on your house/apartment while you sleep.

HAIKU: https://poets.org/glossary/haiku

I go play hockey
I score goal and hit people
I Poopity Scoop

Code:
18. Casual Member Special, 3 TPE max - 1 TPE for participation, 0.5 TPE for each correct answer - SEND ANSWER IN PM TO "PT DIRECTOR" (tagged below)

A. In which season did the Hamilton Steelhawks last win the Challenge Cup?

B. Name a player who has won the Anton Razov trophy while playing for the Edmonton Blizzard

C. Which Edmonton Blizzard player famously has a cow as their player render?

D. Of the 18 skaters on Hamilton's playoff roster, how many of them have a Passing rating higher than their Scoring rating?

**Important**: Send the answers to username "PT Director" with the subject of the message titled “S51 CW" - Do not send it to my personal account; those will not be graded. Do not post the answers in here; you will not get credit for the task.

Sending

Code:
[align=center][size=small]One (1) welfare claim from either [/size][size=small]PBE[/size][size=small] or the [/size][size=small]NSFL[/size][size=small] will be accepted for 3 TPE! *if you’re claiming welfare and have a different username on the affiliates site then you need to state that in your post to get credit.*[/size][/align]

PBE Point Task

**The__Y-man__100** · 01-10-2020, 08:17 PM

Task 1 - of course I am going to game 1 in Edmonton, who would want to vacation in hamilton? Being from Europe I'm use to wicked winters, so it is not like this is new to me. chicks in parkas are kind of sexy to be honest. I'm drinking all day with my main man Hotdog as we are both still depressed that the wolfpack choked yet again . drinks on the in the hotel, drinks during the game, drink during the bathroom breaks. I mean eggy is paying for it all so let the booze flow like water. As for hockey, it would be nice to see Edmonton win a cup this season as hamilton exploited the sim. Plus Edmonton just seems to always be good (after all they beat us a few season ago). Maybe Hotdog and I can come back from this trip with some new insight on how we can elevate the wolfpack to that level next year. good luck Edmonton, even though you will probably lose, I will be cheering for you

Task 2- In another universe the wolfpack are not garbage. Boris has had a breakout year and is a big reason the wolpack have regained their dignity in this league as they enter the playoffs. Studs like Ola and Christiansen were also big reasons we made it too, but having actual depth is a reason most teams make it in the first place. It would be S49 all over again, the wolfpack would faceoff against edmonton in what would be a heated rematch. Johannes Leitner would not choke this time as he would shut out edmonton 2 out of the 6 games the series would take. the whole team is in sync like the band and the natural raw chemistry would be enough to beat an old edmonton roster.

Hotdog and I would not longer be our depressed alcoholic selfs, instead we'd be filthy rich alcoholics because of all the bonuses we would get for winning.

Task 3- What cause would Edmonton and Hamilton both agree needs the world's attention, none other then breast cancer. It takes to many lives in these modern times and both teams seemed very passionate about the issue. I think Tony Pepperoni was even offering free examinations to women who were wearing blizzard jerseys, maybe someone should keep an eye on him during the event.... anyways with a cause that everyone can get behind, just after the first game of the finals the teams raised $200,000. It would have been $225,000, but they had to pay tony's bail as he was getting a little too... "passionate" about the cause.

All in all it was a great success and both teams hope Canada is now a less cancerous place as too many souls fall to the ill fate that is this disease. I've been told also that both teams will be doing off season work to continue to help the cause, except for tony, he is no longer allowed withing 10 feet of any woman.

Task 4- Johannes Leitner hits the ground and is not getting up... oh my this does not look good for the wolpack squad. wait, we are getting reports that Ben Holtby had some questionable gas station sushi before the game and is throwing up all over the locker room.

It's the last game of the season and the wolfpack need a win to clinch a playoff spot. We now go live to the discussion of the GM's who's locker rooms we have tapped (don't tell anyone).

Ace: "I say we go school yard rules, the worst player should go in net"

Hotdog: "Agreed"

Ace: "Boris, you're suiting up, you use to play net in elementary school right?

Boris: "that was like 15 years ago..."

Ace: "I don't need excuses, i need results, now get!"

The wolpack would go on to win that game 12-11. God Boris let in a lot of goals, but it's a good thing Ola Wagstrom scored 7 tonight, it seems the other team just didn't have an answer to stopping him

Task 18- PM sent

First ever Yukon Malamute draft pick (1st overall S65)

*Grum* · 01-10-2020, 08:46 PM

dummy grummy made a mistake. sorry PT team

*Grum* · 01-10-2020, 08:48 PM

Code:
4. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)

 Pretend that your team has hit an injury bug - the roster is so depleted that your coach is asking you to play out of position. What position is your coach asking you to play and what about your player build will help you be successful in this new role?

My coach is asking my to play forward after so many injuries on the team. As someone who has strived to be one of the best defensive defenseman in the league this position switch will definitely be pretty rough when it comes onto the offensive side but with my passing skills it might not be too big of a problem as long as I got a scorer on my line. My willingness to check frequently should also help out a bit on the front lines. This should hopefully give me teammates more opportunities to score coupled along with the previously mentioned passing. Hopefully my high PIM count won't follow along with me when switching over to forward, but it most likely will. Luckily we have two other forwards this time rather than having to leave only one defenseman on the ice. Overall this switch to forward shouldn't be all too bad but I won't be producing the numbers of a good forward, that's for sure!

WC: 165

Code:
15. Written, up to 5 TPE Pick up to 5 Challenge Cup related topics to write about! Each topic is worth 1 TPE. Each answer must be 50+ words to qualify.

 A. Tommy Tuck posted a better SV% during the regular season, but Geezus Kryyst has been lights out during the playoffs. Which team has the advantage in goal for this series?

B. Edmonton averages more hits per game than Hamilton, but also more PIMs - and Hamilton has proven pretty deadly on the power play this postseason while the Blizzard's PK has struggled. Be the coach: should Edmonton stick to a physical style of play or back off a bit in this series?

C. Who is your X-factor skater in this series? Who's got the intangibles? Who's gonna step up for their team when it matters most? Why do you think so?

D. Which player name is your favorite from the rosters of these two teams? (not your favorite player, but your favorite name)

E. WOULD YOU RATHER: (a) eat a Pepperoni pizza with Tony Pepperoni (debatably cannibalism), (b) get a nice long hug from Teddy Cuddles, (c) have Tor and Tommy Tuck tuck you into bed at night, (d) do squats with Hugh Jazz, (e) have a tug of war with Tig, or (f) have Aaron Wilson uncover a brand new strategy for your team to use? Why?

A. Well series is over but I didn't pay attention so I am predicting Geezus Kryyst to have played better than Tommy Tuck for this series. I am confident in saying this simply due to Hamilton's scoring output. Not sure how much the passgate stuff is effecting them but overall they still have a lot of great players who will be looking to score a ton of points.

B. I would say Edmonton should stick to what they are good at for this series. It's a bit too late to switch up what has been working for them so far. That being said if they are down in the series it might be necessary to change up the style of play for them. Would also just see how games 1 and 2 go defensively to see how crucial staying with 5 players on the ice on all times will be.

C. Brady McIntyre will be the X-Factor skater in this series. McIntyre is one of the best defensemen in the league and against a team like Hamilton will need to step up his game in order to help his team out defensively the best he can. I am confident McIntyre will be able to step up and shut down Hamilton's offensive power.

D. Teddy Cuddles is my favorite name from either of the teams and quite honestly one of my favorite names in this whole league. I don't know why but something about the name "Teddy Cuddles" is just such a cool name in my opinion. I even picked him up in fantasy mostly for his name.

E. Well after the second question I got to go with (b) getting a nice long hug from Teddy Cuddles. I'm not a giant fan of getting hugs from people but theres no way a hug from Teddy Cuddles could be bad and who knows maybe he will make me become a fan of hugs.

Code:
7. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)

 The SHL, trying to re-extend popularity among a fan base whose numbers have diminished this quarter, is hosting a town hall think tank right before the finals. It is a well-attended event, and many come forward with ideas to reinvigorate the league. What are some ways the SHL can re-ignite that flame with fans and soar to new heights of popularity? (don't you dare write about sim engines here, pretend this is a real life hockey league and answer it that way lol)

I think having some exhibition matches with an all star game and a skills competition would be really cool to have to end the season with some fun after all the drama and to give the fans a thank you. I'm quite surprised we don't really do any of this already but having a game at the end of season for players and fans a like to look forward to would definitely get people more hyped and would be a good way to end each season. Another idea would be to host exhibition matches around the world with all our elite players who live there. I think this would be a good way to make the SHL more global and just to inspire people to learn the great game of hockey. Also would be a great opportunity for the players to get the chance to play in their home town again and to a chance to play with other players that live in their country.

WC: 165

Code:
6. Written, 2 TPE (100 words min)

 Which player from Hamilton or Edmonton would you bet on to win a regular season individual award in a future season? What player and what award? What makes you think they'll live up to their potential and take home the hardware?

If I had to choose one player from those teams to eventually win a regular season award I would choose Julio Tokolosh. Tokolosh is already a very good player in the league and will only get better. I don't see his productivity dropping anytime soon so I can definitely see him become a premier player in this league in the coming seasons. Edmonton has a pretty stacked roster however and there are many stars that will be breaking out onto the scene soon so it might not come as soon as some would think but eventually Tokolosh will be nabbing awards left and right.

WC: 105
Sent PM

JayWhy · 01-10-2020, 10:41 PM

Quote:2. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)
Alternate Reality: Physicists and other smarties believe that this reality is just one of infinite realities existing alongside this one in parallel. Take us over to one of those realities in which everything is the same but these S51 playoffs have unfolded differently. What happened in that reality's playoffs and who's in the Challenge Cup over there?

Oy, this is an interesting one. There is a reality out there where I drafted differently in S43 and we already had Luke, Alaska and Kimmy may even still be active. However, unfortunately, that isn't the reality we'll discuss.

This reality is the one in which things go as expected. Let's be honest, our decision to play Scottey Crawfling is what led to our winning against Chicago and going to our third Conference Finals in six seasons. There is a reality out there where we don't make the change, and we end up losing in 4 or 5 games. In that reality, the Syndicate go to the Conference Finals for the first time to take on Hamilton and run into a juggernaut. Thankfully, they're a bit more prepared in a way and manage to take it to 7 games before pulling it out and meeting likely New Orleans in this reality in the Finals. I think at this point, the magical run for Chicago ends as they're a still growing team and taking on a very experienced a strong New Orleans team, but the magic of the all-expansion Finals takes the league by storm and drives up popularity massively.

Quote:Word Count: 199

Quote:4. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)
Pretend that your team has hit an injury bug - the roster is so depleted that your coach is asking you to play out of position. What position is your coach asking you to play and what about your player build will help you be successful in this new role?

I actually started as a defenseman in my younger years. I had learned a lot from Teemu Nurmi and Jackson Rogers-Tanaka and thought I'd have a shot at being one of the best of all time. As I grew older, we realized with my puck skills I couldn't keep myself on the back end. However, I've always wondered and that's where I'd play in this scenario.

My high puck handling and my great positioning would benefit me greatly. Look, as a center, I'm playing the middle of the ice and I defend pretty well as is. I've played much of my career on the third line having to square up against some of the best players the other team has to offer. I know the way to keep spacing, how to force a shot or pass, and the lanes that I need to block. I have a lot of people I can go to for help, and I know that I'd be supported and can handle this well.

Quote:Word Count: 168

Quote:5. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)
The Most Generic Prompt of All Time - what is your player looking forward to in the offseason? What are they planning on doing? Training? Relaxing? Testing free agency? Whatever it is, let us know!

Yawn. This is so boring, I may take a nap. That's a thing people often look forward to, right?

Well, actually, having played with some injuries deep into the playoffs and needing some time to recover I'm going to be going to the doctor a bit. And I'm actually looking forward to it. I need to get some work done, I know this. I need to start taking advantage of my last years of youth and exuberance. I'm never going to be this strong, this resilient again. My peak is coming, and I need to be sure I can take full advantage of it. That means I'm talking to a sleep specialist to get my sleep walking under control. I'm going to work with an orthopedic specialist and go through some physical therapy to strengthen in a healthy manner and recover from some hip and knee problems I've faced. We're going to get this figured out, and that's what excites me. Next season, I'm breaking out.

Quote:Word Count: 166

Quote:7. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)
The SHL, trying to re-extend popularity among a fan base whose numbers have diminished this quarter, is hosting a town hall think tank right before the finals. It is a well-attended event, and many come forward with ideas to reinvigorate the league. What are some ways the SHL can re-ignite that flame with fans and soar to new heights of popularity? (don't you dare write about sim engines here, pretend this is a real life hockey league and answer it that way lol)

Let's do some fun things. Step one, why not test out during the preseason the return of the dreaded laser puck? Honestly, we could have some fun with that and it can help newer fans track the puck. Or some way that we can make the puck easier to track.

Okay, okay. That'll ostracize some people. You know what's really the issue? We need to create a system for getting people out to games. We have no problems in viewing popularity. Our problem is in ticket sales, realistically. We don't get extra funds from television viewers, we get it from the people in the arena. The thing is, the newer generation knows this. We need to work on understanding our young fanbase and how to truly attract them. One thing a lot of newer arenas have done is set up an area as kind of a common area. They have a bar, with a bartender, the game is playing on a television and younger people aren't even watching. They're spending and they're talking, and they're inside the arena.

If we can find ways to make the game accessible like that, have events to feed into a culture that needs interaction, we may be able to draw people to the arena. If they're already there, why not watch the game? Why not spend some money on a beer, or some food? All of a sudden, sales go up and we have no problems. Let's start making events like football has tailgates, invite people in, have party areas set up in lobbies. We can make it fun to go to arenas again.

Quote:Word Count: 270

Quote:9. Written, 1 TPE
Write a haiku about an SHL-related topic. Be sure to follow the 3 line, 5-7-5 syllable structure or Godzilla will stomp on your house/apartment while you sleep.

How do you haiku?
I am a novice at these
Better at hockey

Quote:Please accept. I'm legitimately terrible at this stuff.

Quote:18. Casual Member Special, 3 TPE max - 1 TPE for participation, 0.5 TPE for each correct answer - SEND ANSWER IN PM TO "PT DIRECTOR" (tagged below)
A. In which season did the Hamilton Steelhawks last win the Challenge Cup?
B. Name a player who has won the Anton Razov trophy while playing for the Edmonton Blizzard
C. Which Edmonton Blizzard player famously has a cow as their player render?
D. Of the 18 skaters on Hamilton's playoff roster, how many of them have a Passing rating higher than their Scoring rating?

**Important**: Send the answers to username "PT Director" with the subject of the message titled “S51 CW" - Do not send it to my personal account; those will not be graded. Do not post the answers in here; you will not get credit for the task.

Done.

An old man's dream ended. A young man's vision of the future opened wide. Young men have visions, old men have dreams. But the place for old men to dream is beside the fire.

Thanks to Jackson, Copenhagen, and Harry Hans!

GOING DOWN IN STYLE. TOAST4LYFE

drodger91 · 01-10-2020, 11:33 PM

1. Artemi Berezin was handed some exclusive keys to a nice VIP sweet at Edmonton’s home games during the finals, curtesy of GM Keygan, who Berezin goes all the way back to Montreal with in the SMJHL. He was also given some marching orders from the Minnesota staff to do some poking around incase he saw anything that they should also be doing with their team, but anyway, he did enjoy the free food and vodka, to hi Russia taste, and oh yeah, the hockey. Edmonton has had a rough go with the finals coming up against a tough opponent in Hamilton, but the house has been rocking whenever he is there to enjoy it. Edmonton was also thinking about offering him a nice jersey and some hats or whatever, but then realized that could be used as tampering material and decided that wouldn’t be a good idea, and did train Berezin how to avoid camera detection with a tutorial video from Carrie Underwood.

2. First off, if you don’t think that alternate realities exist, get gone.
Anyway, as one sided as these finals have been so far, with Hamilton just throttling Edmonton I believe that Edmonton has been kissing their lucky egg for just too long. The team that should have just ran away with this season is obvious, the Specters.
Complain all you want about the Hamilton rig, it didn’t look like that paid off during the regular season that saw New Orleans run away with 75 total points to take home some fine trophy, have almost 10 point spread between them and Hamilton, and also a 61 goal differential.
I guess you could call it the Tampa curse from last season, but in my alternate reality, the New Orleans Specters just destroyed the SHL, regular season and playoffs, and you can throw whoever you want to take them on, but they still win in spectacular fashion.

4. From time to time you can find major team injuries happen that would mean that some players are shuffled around, thankfully, Berezin has a decent enough build that he can be used in all positions in the forward core, and he has throughout his career. Now you might think that defense would be a tougher positon for him to switch to, but you’d be wrong. First of all, Berezin’s agent, former SHL champion, Roman Morenov, was one of the best shutdown defensemen of his day way back when, so any help from him would be handy, and also, Berezin is built to be a two way forward and knows the value of playing defense first, and then you can also add in his offensive touch, and he becomes even more deadly from the back end. But don’t give the new Minnesota management anything to think about because he is losing his step in his old age.

5. Artemi Berezin is coming off of a rather step back year for himself points wise. He put up some of his lowest point totals this past season on a not so good, but bright Minnesota team. But, with new management stepping in and fresh off signing a new 3 year deal, Berezin seems to be re-energized. He will need that re-energization to kick start his off season since he will be entering his 14th season in the SHL and it seems that Minnesota will be moving some players and he will once again be leading the charge toward the future. Berezin is excited to spend some of his summer with friends and family back in Russia, but has talked about taking a bigger role with the rebuilding Chiefs and really helping the young players find their game before the season begins. He will hope to accomplish this by taking part in team building with them and running mini bootcamps from his years of experience, and lets not forget championship.

18 - PMed

XLeafer · 01-11-2020, 12:39 AM

Code:
5. 3 TPE

Austin Roenick had a pretty disappointing season and it was way worse than his rookie season and that is how disappointing his season was. Austin Roenick is pretty glad the season is over and now he moves into the off season looking for change for himself. Austin Roenick is going to be a free agent this off season and it will be interesting to see what decisions he decides to make. But that is not his most important because Austin Roenick is looking to improve his play style not only his scoring but also his passing and defending and keeping the puck. Austin Roenick wants to become the most dangerous player on the ice and he wants to do it as soon as possible and then hopefully go for some hardware. Austin Roenick would keep his choice of picking a team aside and go for improvements in the off season and hopefully have a huge boost for himself.

Code:
15. 5 TPE

A. Obviously the hamilton goaltender has the advantage this series because of how good his team has been and the win loss ratio in the playoffs has been unreal and that is why he has an advantage in goal over the edmonton goaltender even if he did incredible in the regular season but the playoffs are different.
B. As an edmonton coach, you must try to avoid taking the penalty because the hamilton power play has been incredible but you still have to be physical but not making stupid mistakes and hit illegal and out of emotion. Physicality will always be in hockey but not too much to take a penalty.
C. Barrett Blackwood has been an incredible rookie and player for edmonton recently and he is going lights out right now and he is going to strike down hamilton one by one and that is because of how good he has been the past few games and he will continue his hot streak heading into the finals.
D. Geezus Kryyst is my favourite name, lmao. It will sound like Jesus Christ so that is why it is my favourite name and nothing wrong with the name, it is just incredible so see that name happen and heard in the finals and everyone will love it and everyone should love the name and that is why i love the name.
E. eating a Pepperoni pizza with Tony Pepperoni is something I would not do for my own safety, getting a nice long hug from Teddy Cuddles is against my privileges, having Tor and Tommy Tuck tuck me into bed at night is a crime and ill call the police, doing squats with Hugh Jazz is bad, having a tug of war with Tig is awkward and offensive, so having Aaron Wilson uncover a brand new strategy for my team is the best one.

Code:
16. 2 TPE

The series MVP goes to STHS, simon T is the one who deserves the series MVP for this because of hamilton's incredible act of getting all the passing down just to fuck with the sim engine and fuck with simon and simon just gifts the championship to hamilton. There is no way a team can beat hamilton in a series with hamilton doing this and this is why this is a tainted championship and the s51 championship will forever be the worst championship in sim league history. I do not care how long it took for hamilton to win, it would not count and their drought will still continue, if they did not do this strat then they would not have made the playoffs even because their team sucks and getting all the passing down to break the sim is the only way this team would even stay relevant because hamilton is a shit place and i live there.

Code:
18. 3 TPE

Sent

NSFL PT +3 TPE

= 16 TPE

UrsinZ · 01-11-2020, 04:03 AM

Quote:2. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)
Alternate Reality: Physicists and other smarties believe that this reality is just one of infinite realities existing alongside this one in parallel. Take us over to one of those realities in which everything is the same but these S51 playoffs have unfolded differently. What happened in that reality's playoffs and who's in the Challenge Cup over there?

Reality Changachow is where Edmonton plays against Manhattan. Hamilton never found the bug in simonT and so couldnt abuse it. Still they had a very good season in only failing to beat Manhattan. In the Finals Edmonton dominates Manhattan till the 3rd game where the goalie of Manhattan busts out an awsome save which leads to a turn in the series. It's standing 3-3 and one game to go where the gm of Edmonton decides to sacrifice some sheeps and cows to simonT to gain an advantage in the Series. Sadly the Manhattan GM also was doing this the whole season. Which led to a fair and square game 7. Both teams played an awsome game and during the whole final were going full ham. In the last Minute Finn Rhys scores the game winning goal for Edmonton. The series will forever be known as the sarificing games. (150 words)

Quote:4. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)
Pretend that your team has hit an injury bug - the roster is so depleted that your coach is asking you to play out of position. What position is your coach asking you to play and what about your player build will help you be successful in this new role?

It's a dark day in Anaheims history where a lot forwards are missing from their roster and Donini freshly named Gm of Anaheim has to decide to play Ursin Zimmermann as a Two way Forward. Ursin is built to be a playmaking defender so Donini offers him to play him as playmaking forward. Ursin decides he will do for the team what can so he does it. Sadly in the next game both Goalies get hurt during play. During the next team meating Donini asks if anyone is ready to play as a goaltender? There's one hand raised to the sky and thats the hand of Ursin Zimmermann. In his next game Ursin suits up as a Goalie and a Forward and shows the game of his life. Playing against the shooting as much as they can Hamilton Steelhawks Ursin stops over 50 shots resulting in a shutout and scoring 1 goal and making 4 passes to lead the team to a 5-0 win.

Quote:5. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)
The Most Generic Prompt of All Time - what is your player looking forward to in the offseason? What are they planning on doing? Training? Relaxing? Testing free agency? Whatever it is, let us know!

Ursin Zimmermann allways trains with Daniel Kuster during the offseason. Ursin and Kuster are long time friends playing togheter since childhood. Seeing and old time friend always is something Ursin really likes. To start their Offseason they go on a one week holiday anywhere they like. After this they go to the IIHF tournamen and the WJC tournament. Both play for Switzerland and love playing there! The gm's are an awsome duo in Segi and esivlerm. Both are really caring for the young gun duo which really helped them top their game! After the IIHF tournaments they start their imense training. From the first to the last day Kuster and Zimmermann hit the ice everyday. The first week they have a figure skating coach teaching them some power skating. At their days off they just go to a stick and puck because they love hockey that much. One day before the season starts Kuster and Zimmermann go to a spa to relax for one last time before the sesason starts!

Quote:3. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)
The two finals teams have decided to team up for a fundraising opportunity to benefit both cities. What noble cause will the teams decide to benefit? What sort of fundraiser will the teams hold together? How will the two teams mesh before the finals start?

Edmonton and Hamilton made a meeting where they decided on what charity they want to play for. They decided for a skin cancer charity. A lot of people dont know a lot about skin cancer and that's why they want to raise the awarnes for it. Both teams decided to put on some shirts for warm up with some moles on it. All of the moles are moles which you should checkup when you have something like that. During the power brakes and the breaks between the periods there will be people raise the awarnes on skin cancer. There will be a team of doctors at the game which checks you up if you are healthy and gives you tips what you can do better in your life to prevent skin cancer. Also will there be some free sun milk for everyone. Let's hope the teams can raise the awarnes of skin cancer an will prevent some people of dying to such a shitty diseas...

Quote:15.
E. WOULD YOU RATHER: (a) eat a Pepperoni pizza with Tony Pepperoni (debatably cannibalism), (b) get a nice long hug from Teddy Cuddles, © have Tor and Tommy Tuck tuck you into bed at night, (d) do squats with Hugh Jazz, (e) have a tug of war with Tig, or (f) have Aaron Wilson uncover a brand new strategy for your team to use? Why?

That can't be a question thats definetly all but a! I do not want to be a cannibal and jeah getting cuddles is awsome. Getting tucked in also is nice! Squats help getting those legs pumped for the next season. A tug of war is also something like a training which would also help to improve and tig would be an awsome opponent/teammate. And a new strategy for my team is allways nice so jeah i take all but a.

18. (+3 TPE)

karey · 01-11-2020, 07:16 AM

1. Marius will surely be going to Games 1 and 2 in Edmonton. There's no chance that he goes to Hamiltom especially because Hamiltom are full of stinky cheaters who don't pass and Edmonton is filled with beautiful people and great shit weather even at this time of the year. Right now it is snowing in Hamilton so weather not an issue in both cities. and although that is very nice hockey weather by no means is it appropriate for Victor Marius and his boojie desire to go shopping at West Edmonton Mall. Marius will be drinking only sparkling water and sparkling wines and sparkling desserts because he is worth it and he will be running up the tab just because he can. Marius loves to eat all types of steak especially bone-in ribeye and will likely be purchasing multiples of five every time he goes out for dinner me and lie because he can and he is eating out of being depressed from not being playoffs. although he's a two-time winner he should be a four-time winner and will eat as many steaks as necessary to be a three-time winner eventually.

2. if this season had no cheating we would see Buffalo Stampede versus either the Edmonton Blizzard or the New Orlean spectres playing in the challenge Cup finals. However because of cheaters in Hamilton we have been having to overcome the lost season this season is a black mark in the history of the simulation hockey league and should not be remembered fondly by any person who cares what this league. In this alternate reality without cheaters we would see a very competitive matchup between either the spectres or the blizzard versus the stacked Buffalo Stampede team the game would probably go to 7 games as both teams all three teams actually would be evenly matched but we have stuck with a cheater league in this reality. In another reality we would have all players wearing furry costumes in the furry hockey League reality but that doesn't exist in our reality that makes me really sad.

3. the Buffalo Stampede in Victor marries have teamed up in the past to create a charity with underprivileged kids in the city of Buffalo New York this charity is in place to help those who do not have a place to stay or food or access to basic needs and are provided donated goods and food or are provided a after-school program to thwart the risky behaviours that youth who do not have access to basic needs will result in doing. The program offered are run by excellent volunteers and staff who work tirelessly to help support the children of Buffalo New York and unfortunately because of the weather we have seen many youth without hoodies and jackets and hats and scarves in two weeks for the weather so the shl has created an initiative to donate $100,000 worth of snow gear 2 used in each of the shl cities even Tampa Bay in West Kendall where they don't see much snow but they had to show parity because this is a league full of honesty integrity and no cheating. Even though I'm the biggest Cheater.

4. what an unfortunate circumstance where Victor marries the left-winger for the Buffalo Stampede as well as many other players on his team have recently been injured or sick throughout the season however Victor Marius miraculously recovered from a bout of gonorrhea of herpes and mono from getting f***** by Hamilton all season and has been asked to play goaltender as the Buffalo Stampede do not have a goaltender anymore because Cedric Robinson their star young goaltender mysteriously vanished into thin Air recently having discovered the art of witchcraft and wizardry since going to visit the Hogwarts Diagon Alley at universal studios during the offseason. Victor Mary's has been successful as a goalie in the past having shut out any opportunity to score because he had to play against cheaters in Hamilton all season and that shutting out of the ability score even though he's a really talented sniper and score just shows how capable he is a keeping goals away from an app unfortunately he has a knack of hitting people and has a goalie that might be very tricky to deal with especially because as a goalie you have to maintain positioning and you don't want to hit people because that will ruin your positioning and maybe goals will go in. So Victor Mary's was not a good goalie but because of the injury bug and the gonorrhea herpes and Manos from getting f***** by Hamilton incessantly the season led the Buffalo Stampede to do some dire rearrangement of their lines.

5. Victor Marius is very excited to spend this offseason learning how to swim and hunt for whales using only harpoons because this is been a childhood dream ever watching Free Willy but then being realizing that he hates whales so Victor Mary's wants to hunt whales but doesn't know how to swim and doesn't want to use any weapon of than a harpoon because he feels like that's the only appropriate weapon you can use having just recently played Jedi fallen order and using a lightsaber with the two sides that resembles a harpoon Victor Mary desires to be as successful as the cow in Jedi fallen order by using a harpoon that hit well instead of these giant spider creatures and gross slug things that you find all over kashyyk. Mary's doesn't really have an issue with the whaless but he does feel that because of their sheer size and weight that they are doing more to raise the already rising water level and feels like if he got rid of whales than the ocean won't rise as much and then Bangladesh will get flooded at he can save millions of lives and he believes that saving millions of lives is more important than whales. Mary's also thinks that he should learn how to skate considering that he's a hockey player he also doesn't know how to do that so that's also a problem and he wants to be a good hockey player and be better then Mikhail achatina of who just recently retired.

Haiku:

Hamilton is cheat
did not learn the art of pass
Must go to hell now

16/16 done

Emiko · 01-11-2020, 11:14 AM

Code:
1. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)

VIP Status again babyyyyyyyy - your player has been invited to attend one of the first homestands of the CC finals as a VIP guest - all expenses paid, front row seats, any hotel you want - and it's all on the Commissioner's dime! Eggy has complained to me the past two seasons about having to pay for this so I'm graciously volunteering SDCore to front the costs for this season's splurge! Are you going to Games 1 and 2 in Edmonton or Games 3 and 4 in Hamilton? Why are you picking there? And what are you going to do in that city to run up SD's tab?? (This is the same prompt as in the past but we've got different cities! be creative! Don't re-use what was written last season.)

So I've been chosen to go to a finals game and as a upcoming free-agent why don't i go look at a team who spoke to me a lot in my draft week. So I'm going to Edmonton! Now to which game? I think going to game 2 would be more interesting as you already know what is at stake due to the first game! Now during the game i'm buying a jersey of my friend Rhys! After that i go onto buy as many drinks i can that are bottled i mean i might as well stock up for when i'm at home. Now i'm buying food for everyone in my block as why not if i'm not paying right?

After the match i'll take myself out for a nice night out on the town and get absolutely shitfaced and make sure that i don't remember the evening as i don't want too remember that the commissioner will hate me due to how much i've ran up.

Code:
Word: 168

Code:
2. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)

Alternate Reality: Physicists and other smarties believe that this reality is just one of infinite realities existing alongside this one in parallel. Take us over to one of those realities in which everything is the same but these S51 playoffs have unfolded differently. What happened in that reality's playoffs and who's in the Challenge Cup over there?

So first of all the line up is still the same. Tampa bay get through like they did already however something changes... Benjamin Blue gets injured in the first game of the second round and Emiko Spector has to start her first play-off game. In the first game she's not doing so good an she get shelled. After this match she's told that she has to play the rest of the playoffs as they're playing the goalie coach as back up.

Game 2: Honestly, it was terrifying for Emiko as she had been shelled completely for the first 2 periods but luckily the offence kept them in the game. Third period starts and she's finally gotten into her groove in the net and stops every shot in the 3rd period!

Game 3 - 6: The offensive is up and down but Emiko manages to be able to keep them in the playoffs.

Game 7: This is the game that turned the entire team around! the entire team clicked and they managed to win!

Rest of the playoffs the Barracuda ran with the momentum shift from the 2nd series and continued it to the final but lost in game 7.

Code:
Words: 198

Code:
3. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)

The two finals teams have decided to team up for a fundraising opportunity to benefit both cities. What noble cause will the teams decide to benefit? What sort of fundraiser will the teams hold together? How will the two teams mesh before the finals start?

For the finals Edmonton and Hamilton are working together for a charity event!

The charity event they decided to work towards is to help those suffering from mental health issues. For this they decided to raise money by having a auction of various stuff that was being used in the finals.

Firstly each players jersey was up for auction that would be sold of to try and gain money for helping them.

Next they decided to sell of equipment used by the team such as Hockey Sticks, Pads and other things. Due to Emiko Spector being up in Edmonton while this was going on she decided to auction off her goalie equipment which she used in Colorado.

After that they decided to auction off some different stuff such as a night with a player. along with other fun things like that. After the event they where able to raise roughly $97,000 for the charity with just the equipment and jersey's alone! So it was a good thing!

Code:
Words: 167

Code:
4. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)

Pretend that your team has hit an injury bug - the roster is so depleted that your coach is asking you to play out of position. What position is your coach asking you to play and what about your player build will help you be successful in this new role?

"Wow, everyone has become injured and they've asked me to play out of position! i'm not sure what i'm going to do as it's a totally different skill set to what i'm used too. How do they expect me to be able to transition from goal to a center." Emiko thought to herself.

Coach MCP said "Don't worry Emiko, i'm sure you can do it! I don't expect us to be able to win honestly but i just want to not forfeit a team as we've exhausted our entire minor league players and no one wants to come here due to the 'Injury Curse' we've apparently got!"

"But i can't even take a face-off why can't i just be a defender least its similar" said Emiko.

"I know but we've already got blue playing there so we can't really have 2 goalies there! You'll just have to deal with what has been put upon you! Like i said we're not expecting to win!" Explained MCP.

Code:
Word: 165

Code:
5. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)

The Most Generic Prompt of All Time - what is your player looking forward to in the offseason? What are they planning on doing? Training? Relaxing? Testing free agency? Whatever it is, let us know!

The main thing i am looking towards personally is testing free agency. I'm both excited and terrified to know where i end up and if i end up anywhere.

I've outlined what i would like from a new team but i'm not sure if there is a place for me but i hope that i can just get to somewhere that needs me.

After that i will be changing environments and such like that and i'm really excited!

So, now the next thing i'm honestly just excited to get started with my stint in the IIHF with team Austria! I can't wait to see how we do but i know we have a lot to do with the team and need to build slowly!

After that honestly i'll be taking some time back in Japan with my family before i go back to where i end up after free agency but that's a long time away!

Code:
Words: 156

Code:
9. Written, 1 TPE

Write a haiku about an SHL-related topic. Be sure to follow the 3 line, 5-7-5 syllable structure or Godzilla will stomp on your house/apartment while you sleep.

Hockey is so cool
if you play it you will drool
this is a haiku

Bonus Haiku:

Emiko is tall
She stops the puck every time
Cause it hits her face

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