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fever95 · 01-12-2020, 04:41 PM

Code:
10. Graphic OR Written, 2 TPE (100 words min if written)

The SHL is partnering with Doritos and Gatorade to create a unique flavor of chip and beverage for each SHL and SMJHL team. Create a graphic of the chip bag or the Gatorade bottle for any SHL or SMJHL team OR describe the flavor of chip or beverage for any SHL or SMJHL team. Make sure the branding is tight or it has a quirky name to get people to buy it #marketing

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11. Graphic, 3 TPE

With all eyes on the finals for the highest TV numbers of the season, ad agencies like to put their best foot forward and feature SHL stars to advertise their product. Create a still-image advertisement featuring an SHL player advertising a new product. Include a player render, team logo, and a few words or a slogan about the product.

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12. Graphic, 2 TPE

Simple and straightforward - make a promotional poster for the S50 CC Finals. Must include at least one player render and the logos and names of both teams. Option A: make a good graphic. Option B: make a shitty graphic. Either will receive TPE.

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13. Graphic, 3 TPE

Design a Challenge Cup Championship banner for one of the teams in the finals, like those which appear on the side of the site. Maybe you'd like to include some "parmesan cheese" in your banner? ;)

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17. Graphic, 3 TPE - The Procrastinator Special!

Welp, you waited until the last day to grind out your CW and you also like doing graphics instead of writing. That's cool, too! Create a Series Recap broadcast graphic - the contents can be whatever you want, but your graphic must list both teams and at least 3 stats for each.

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18. Casual Member Special, 3 TPE max - 1 TPE for participation, 0.5 TPE for each correct answer - SEND ANSWER IN PM TO "PT DIRECTOR" (tagged below)

A. In which season did the Hamilton Steelhawks last win the Challenge Cup?

B. Name a player who has won the Anton Razov trophy while playing for the Edmonton Blizzard

C. Which Edmonton Blizzard player famously has a cow as their player render?

D. Of the 18 skaters on Hamilton's playoff roster, how many of them have a Passing rating higher than their Scoring rating?

PM sent.

*Scrufdaddy* · 01-12-2020, 05:02 PM

Code:
3. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)

The two finals teams have decided to team up for a fundraising opportunity to benefit both cities. What noble cause will the teams decide to benefit? What sort of fundraiser will the teams hold together? How will the two teams mesh before the finals start?

The teams have decided to benefit the noble cause of Kids with Different Sized Feet. While hockey is already an expensive sport, this can push it over the limit for kids that have to buy two different pairs of skates to mix and match sizes. The charity being supported runs a program where two compatible kids are matched and swap one skate of their pair. This means we can have two pairs of skates for two kids, instead of the original four pairs of skates for two kids.

The grand fundraiser event was called Big Skater, Little Skater and brought all of the kids together to meet their pair and play in a friendly tournament. Just like the kid pairs were mixed and matched, so were the SHLers. Each team in the tournament was a foursome of a kid pair and an SHL pair, one player from each team in the finals. Money was raised primarily through betting and players buying in to the tournament, and each kid pair went home with fresh skates.

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4. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)

Pretend that your team has hit an injury bug - the roster is so depleted that your coach is asking you to play out of position. What position is your coach asking you to play and what about your player build will help you be successful in this new role?

The injury bug has sidelined both of our goalies and there is no accountant in the crowd ready to step up to the task. So the next reasonable option is to stick old Slip McScruff into the net and pray for the best. Slip already has a lot of experience blocking shots outside of the net, so he's got that fearlessness needed to get in front of the puck. His hand eye certainly helps with getting sticks and pads in the way.

Unfortunately, he's more of a meatbag than a flexible butterfly so he's not a pretty sight in net. More than a few times he's thrown himself at the puck and taken out his own defenders out front. His method for rebound control is a little thing called pure luck, and he's not a lucky individual. After every game, he writes Get Well Soon cards to both goalies and orders them chicken soup, even though they are injured, not sick.

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5. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)

The Most Generic Prompt of All Time - what is your player looking forward to in the offseason? What are they planning on doing? Training? Relaxing? Testing free agency? Whatever it is, let us know!

IIHF baby. Slip is looking for a gold medal repeat with the loaded Team USA. He's been out of the playoffs for a long time, so he's been keeping the gym warm for his star studded teammates who have gone deep.

After the Winnipeg Jets made a first round exit, Slip wanted to just relax and enjoy his extended break before getting on international ice. However, fellow USA defenseman Geoff Moore was there to keep him honest and brought him in to run training drills with the defensive coach of Team USA. By the end of the second round of the playoffs, they were joined by all but one USA defender and had both goalies ready to take shots.

During the finals, Slip sneaked away to cheer for his USA teammates on the Blizzard. His three teammates from Edmonton happened to eliminate two teammates from Calgary and two teammates from Los Angeles, so he kept his support private.

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7. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)

The SHL, trying to re-extend popularity among a fan base whose numbers have diminished this quarter, is hosting a town hall think tank right before the finals. It is a well-attended event, and many come forward with ideas to reinvigorate the league. What are some ways the SHL can re-ignite that flame with fans and soar to new heights of popularity? (don't you dare write about sim engines here, pretend this is a real life hockey league and answer it that way lol)

The name of the game is youth outreach to expand the game and the pipeline of talent. It's a long term investment that likely won't have any immediate impact but is critical to the success of the league.

Some teams and players have already pitched their ideas for how they would chip in. The recently crowned champions from Hamilton have volunteered to run a beginner level school to teach kids how to pass the puck. Slip McScruff from the Winnipeg Jets has volunteered to teach entry level hitting, although some parents think he's starting too young. Aleister Cain from the New Orleans Specters has volunteered to teach young goalies how he manages to still look good while letting pucks in the net.

If we are concerned about the short term, we can extend some of these schools to adult leagues. There is some hidden talent out there in beer leagues that maybe just need a confidence bump to make the jump into professional hockey. We could have a training camp that culminates in an SHL team willing to take a dive against the beer leagues, followed by agents calling up promising talent with entry level contracts.

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9. Written, 1 TPE

Write a haiku about an SHL-related topic. Be sure to follow the 3 line, 5-7-5 syllable structure or Godzilla will stomp on your house/apartment while you sleep.

In the SHL,
hockey is simulated,
but drama is real.

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10. Graphic OR Written, 2 TPE (100 words min if written)

The SHL is partnering with Doritos and Gatorade to create a unique flavor of chip and beverage for each SHL and SMJHL team. Create a graphic of the chip bag or the Gatorade bottle for any SHL or SMJHL team OR describe the flavor of chip or beverage for any SHL or SMJHL team. Make sure the branding is tight or it has a quirky name to get people to buy it #marketing

Slip McScruff makes a grotesque meal that the media has picked up on and now Doritos is immortalizing it in a chip flavor.

To start, we have the meal that he learned from his favorite internet chef, the BBQ-Beef-Stick Pizza Bagel. It's exactly what it sounds like but with more passion than you imagine. Bagel, mozzarella, onions, jalapenos, sliced Slim Jims, and BBQ sauce. Now picture that flavor condensed into chip form.

The branding is "Slip McScruff's Slim Jim Dirty Bomb Dorito MAX" and they stopped making after the first week on the shelves due to reports of serious bowl obstruction in consumers.

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18. Casual Member Special, 3 TPE max - 1 TPE for participation, 0.5 TPE for each correct answer - SEND ANSWER IN PM TO "PT DIRECTOR" (tagged below)

A. In which season did the Hamilton Steelhawks last win the Challenge Cup?

B. Name a player who has won the Anton Razov trophy while playing for the Edmonton Blizzard

C. Which Edmonton Blizzard player famously has a cow as their player render?

D. Of the 18 skaters on Hamilton's playoff roster, how many of them have a Passing rating higher than their Scoring rating?

**Important**: Send the answers to username "PT Director" with the subject of the message titled “S51 CW" - Do not send it to my personal account; those will not be graded. Do not post the answers in here; you will not get credit for the task.

Sent answers

*Otrebor13* · 01-12-2020, 05:47 PM

Task 1

This is an easy one for me. I’m definitely going to Games 3 and 4 in Hamilton. Now, this is no disrespect to anyone in Edmonton, but Hamilton was my home for a very long time when I joined the SHL way back in S3. I played a long time for the Steelhawks, and was even a part of the team to help bring the franchise it’s first Challenge Cup.

On top of the fact that I have some deep love and appreciation for the organization, I also have a ton of my Whalers buddies on the team. Getting to stay in the city with the guys like Aaron Wilson, Robert Phelps, Dale Miller, Jax Duggan and Gabriel Johnson would be a blast, and they would no doubt have ideas on where we could go to rack up the highest tabs. Being reunited with these guys again would be a tremendous pleasure and I would definitely have to go to Hamilton to see them and support them.

Task 2

After some very quick research (so I may be wrong, don’t hate me), in the alternate reality that I’m in, the Challenge Cup Finals consist of the New Orleans Spectres and the Buffalo Stampede. Why? Well, based on my research, they are two of the teams that have players with higher passing than scoring, so why not have them in the finals?

In this reality, the Steelhawks didn’t even make the playoffs, and the majority of the playoff games ended 1-0, as everyone is passing the puck around and nobody wants to shoot it. The puck has gone in off of a couple of bad bounces and some players who decided that maybe putting the puck on net might cause a goal. Shots have been at an all time low, with each team averaging 10 shots per game. Goalie stats, however, are at an all time high. Because of all of this, attendance is at an all time low and nobody knows what to do to fix this issue. Should be a riveting finals!

Task 3

The two teams coming together to raise funds for a charity seems somewhat funny, since it seems nobody is fond of Hamilton right now. That being said, I think there could be some middle ground that would be able to be worked out between the two sides to put aside their differences for a little bit and help a cause.

The charity they would come together for, in my opinion, would be for the Super Players Hockey School. This is a hockey school that is for under privileged children who can’t afford to play hockey. And the Blizzard and Steelhawks would come together to help these children learn hockey. With the Steelhawks being a team of mostly shoot-first players, and the Blizzard a team of mostly pass-first players, they can teach these children to be Super Players. Imagine if everyone came out of this school with 99 PA and 99 SC!? A bunch of Lokitonov’s around the SHL. Would be madness!

Task 4

Well, if the team is that depleted to play me outside of position, I think the only position I would be able to play is defence. I have the defensive abilities to play defense and be a decent puck mover/power play quarterback. I won’t be the most physical, as I got a total of like 2 hits this season and I haven’t been working on my checking, but I’ll be good enough to get myself to be a decent defender.

If need be, I’d love to try my hand in goal, but realistically I don’t think I’d be able to pull it off. Put me on the back end with a good Dman who can take care of the stay at home work and lay the body, and the Panthers would have a pretty solid pairing with Morgan on it. If that is the case, I would definitely work on bumping up my checking so I can make an impact and be stronger in front of the net.

Task 15

A. Hamilton. Now obviously the series is over, but I would have went with Hamilton regardless. I think Tuck is a fantastic goalie, but Kryyst went up against teams who continually peppered him with shots and he still came out on top. He stopped a ton of shots on his way to the Finals.
B. Edmonton should stick to a physical style of play. While it could be dangerous, they got to where they are by playing their style of hockey. There is no reason for them to deviate now after what made them so successful this season. I think they should continue to lay the body and hope they make adjustments to have a better PK.
E. Definitely (f). I’ve known Aaron for quite some time now, being in juniors together with the Whalers, and I know his dedication to having the best outcome for his teams. If I could get that sort of dedication to help me win a Challenge Cup, I want it. The feeling of winning is like no other, and that’s what I want again.

Task 18 – PM Sent

ImShiny · 01-12-2020, 06:13 PM

Code:
1. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)
VIP Status again babyyyyyyyy - your player has been invited to attend one of the first homestands of the CC finals as a VIP guest - all expenses paid, front row seats, any hotel you want - and it's all on the Commissioner's dime! Eggy has complained to me the past two seasons about having to pay for this so I'm graciously volunteering SDCore to front the costs for this season's splurge! Are you going to Games 1 and 2 in Edmonton or Games 3 and 4 in Hamilton? Why are you picking there? And what are you going to do in that city to run up SD's tab?? (This is the same prompt as in the past but we've got different cities! be creative! Don't re-use what was written last season.)

The first game I am going to is going to game one of the finals. Just to see the atmosphere of Edmonton. I am taking all my Czech friends with me to have a good time. We are going to many different bars and just party with many different fans of either team. We would also take a tour of the city since I’ve never been to the city. Many of the different historical sites in the city would be very cool to see and be able to learn about the city. We would show up a few days before and check out the World Waterpark and have a lot of fun in the waterparks. We can go shopping in the West Edmonton mall and be able to buy a lot of random gifts for our families and friends when we go back home. At the game, we would buy random people jerseys of their favorite players for Edmonton.

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2. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)
Alternate Reality: Physicists and other smarties believe that this reality is just one of infinite realities existing alongside this one in parallel. Take us over to one of those realities in which everything is the same but these S51 playoffs have unfolded differently. What happened in that reality's playoffs and who's in the Challenge Cup over there?

In an alternative reality, Manhattan obviously has made it to the final. Knocking out Hamilton in 6 games and being able to make it to the finals to face the Calgary Dragons. Bernik Vrzala and David Vent the childhood friends are going faceoff to compete for their childhood dreams. The series would be a long hard-fought battle between the two teams. Many of the games would go to overtime and be close to one-goal games. David Vent and Bernik Vrzala would be playing out of their minds trying to out due the other and be able to show they were able to be the better player. The Czech players would be cheering for each player and it would split the Czech national team on who they would want to win. The series would go to game 7 in Manhattan and would go to overtime. David Vent would receive the pass from Barrett McCarthy and shoot the puck and would score. Winning the cup for Manhattan.

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3. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)
The two finals teams have decided to team up for a fundraising opportunity to benefit both cities. What noble cause will the teams decide to benefit? What sort of fundraiser will the teams hold together? How will the two teams mesh before the finals start?

The fundraiser that would happen would be a trivia contest that each team would be competing. The trivia would just be shl and random trivia for everyone to participate in. There would be 5 players from each team. Three forwards, two defensemen, and a goalie from each team. Anyone can play they don’t have to be linemates or even the smartest players on the team. The goal here is to have fun for the fans and be able to raise as much money as you can for the fundraiser. While the trivia is going on there will be also many different fair type activities for families to partake in. Players from both teams will be running these booths for fans to come up to and to play the games. A player from both teams will work together at the booth. Fans would also be able to buy merchandise for their teams and a part of those proceeds from those will go to the fundraiser.

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4. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)
Pretend that your team has hit an injury bug - the roster is so depleted that your coach is asking you to play out of position. What position is your coach asking you to play and what about your player build will help you be successful in this new role?

The injury bug is destroying Manhattan right now and we have both our prospects called up, but we need to have someone play center. That’s where David Vent comes in. During the preseason Manhattan runs fun lines and Vent has played center many times before. He does very well in the faceoff circle because he’s super strong. Vent would play on the third line so he would still be able to be surrounded by other good forwards. Vent would most likely be a two way forward because he has a great defensive awareness from playing defense. Vent wouldn’t be a high scorer but would focus on his passing and be able to skate well to be in position when he is needed. Screens would be a huge part of Vents play since he is huge standing at 6’6 so goalies would have a difficult time trying to see past the huge center in front of them.

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5. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)
The Most Generic Prompt of All Time - what is your player looking forward to in the offseason? What are they planning on doing? Training? Relaxing? Testing free agency? Whatever it is, let us know!

During the off-season Vent was going to focus on team bonding with his teammates. Keeping morale high after coming so close to getting to the final is important. Vent wants his teammates to want to stay motivated and happy to come to work during the season and keep playing as hard as they can. To do this Vent and the other captains for Manhattan are going to host team-building events throughout the off-season. The first event was going to be an amazing race with teams throughout New York City. The teams would compete with each other and learn about the city they call home. Next would be a cook-off. Some players will judge, and others will be cooking the food. It will be great for everyone to show off their cooking skills. The last event was going to be a camping trip with the team. The team will get to work together in the wild and get away from the crazy city life.

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18. Casual Member Special, 3 TPE max - 1 TPE for participation, 0.5 TPE for each correct answer - SEND ANSWER IN PM TO "PT DIRECTOR" (tagged below)
A. In which season did the Hamilton Steelhawks last win the Challenge Cup?
B. Name a player who has won the Anton Razov trophy while playing for the Edmonton Blizzard
C. Which Edmonton Blizzard player famously has a cow as their player render?
D. Of the 18 skaters on Hamilton's playoff roster, how many of them have a Passing rating higher than their Scoring rating?

**Important**: Send the answers to username "PT Director" with the subject of the message titled “S51 CW" - Do not send it to my personal account; those will not be graded. Do not post the answers in here; you will not get credit for the task.
Sent

***Citizen of Adraa*** · 01-12-2020, 07:02 PM

Task 4 - Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)
Pretend that your team has hit an injury bug - the roster is so depleted that your coach is asking you to play out of position. What position is your coach asking you to play and what about your player build will help you be successful in this new role?

Doskocil has been a mildly effective defenseman during his time in Manhattan, but the recent swift rage of the injury fairy has made the roster suffer a lot. In fact, it suffered so much that we couldn’t really get any goalies into the rink in time, so the coach, knowing Doskocil tried some goaltending as a kid, desperately asked him to try on the pads and play in the net for a night, before they can get their lower league callup there in time. Well, Doskocil definitely tried – in a humiliating 12-4 loss to the Hamilton Steelhawks. With their very shot happy team, the untrained reflexes, mediocre butterfly and poor flexibility really hurt him, but there was no one really to replace him, so Doskocil just had to suffer through this. At least he didn’t pull a Roy after the game, or at least we would have known if he did so. Right?

Task 5 - Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)
The Most Generic Prompt of All Time - what is your player looking forward to in the offseason? What are they planning on doing? Training? Relaxing? Testing free agency? Whatever it is, let us know!

Doskocil is more likely than not going to have an active relax during the offseason. Some extra hockey with the international play, some extra hockey with the Shits and Gibbles charity tournament for the kids with Crohn’s disease. Probably some light golf because american players are obsessed with it, even though Andrej doesn’t really care. Then, probably head home to visit family and spent some time just being home lazy, maybe go around some track days and spent some time behind the wheel of a car. And obviously, then hard training for the upcoming season, where he is looking to step up to the next level and find more consistent success on his somewhat new 2nd pairing designation. All in all, busy and at the same time not so busy holiday, pretty standard to what he normally does every day anyway.

Task 9 - Written, 1 TPE
Write a haiku about an SHL-related topic. Be sure to follow the 3 line, 5-7-5 syllable structure or Godzilla will stomp on your house/apartment while you sleep.

Manhattan is good
Only if they didn’t have
That pylon of me

(I am not native your syllable system is whack don’t murder me)

Task 10 - Graphic OR Written, 2 TPE (100 words min if written)
The SHL is partnering with Doritos and Gatorade to create a unique flavor of chip and beverage for each SHL and SMJHL team. Create a graphic of the chip bag or the Gatorade bottle for any SHL or SMJHL team OR describe the flavor of chip or beverage for any SHL or SMJHL team. Make sure the branding is tight or it has a quirky name to get people to buy it #marketing

Well the Halifax is a coastal town with a big fishermen population, so why not use this to your advantage? Introducing the Krabby Doritos, for that sweet, sweet crab chip flavour that no one in this town is definitely not sick of already, and if you already didn’t have enough, how about a clam chowder Gatorade to wash that all down? What a fantastic combo for the days you don’t really feel like having anything in your stomach? Need to lose some weight? It’s so easy because after the Clam Chowder Gatorade, you would be lucky to be alive, let alone having a problem with being overweight!

Task 15 - Written, up to 5 TPE Pick up to 5 Challenge Cup related topics to write about! Each topic is worth 1 TPE. Each answer must be 50+ words to qualify.

A. Tommy Tuck posted a better SV% during the regular season, but Geezus Kryyst has been lights out during the playoffs. Which team has the advantage in goal for this series?
In my opinion, Kryyst truly stood on his head these playoffs. Where his team might not have been good enough to win the game just on themselves with an average goalie, Kryyst has come to save them and together, they only dropped a single game in 9 outings throughout their run to the finals, a pretty impressive feat for which both your skaters and your goalies have to be ticking as well as they can.

B. Edmonton averages more hits per game than Hamilton, but also more PIMs - and Hamilton has proven pretty deadly on the power play this postseason while the Blizzard's PK has struggled. Be the coach: should Edmonton stick to a physical style of play or back off a bit in this series?
The numbers don’t lie, but don’t be blinded – Simon was always very fickle, and it’s more often more beneficial to stay with your original plan and the plan that got your team to the finals in the first place than trying to switch to something else and trying to accomodate the other team. Very often, that actually makes you weaker, and Simon can be quick to punish your new found weakness.

D. Which player name is your favorite from the rosters of these two teams? (not your favorite player, but your favorite name)
Well, Al Kayhall has been a very clever pun that made even his otherwise ready to pun SMJHL GM gasp in disbelief (Alcohol, Al works as a bartender, haha get it explaining the joke is so fun), otherwise have always been very fond of Vegeta Muerto, I think that name flows fantastically, and yeah, Tony Pepperoni leveraging that pizza connection, you gotta love that aswell. But still, Al Kayhall is such a stupid name and still works really well on its own if you don’t realize the pun behind it.

E. WOULD YOU RATHER: (a) eat a Pepperoni pizza with Tony Pepperoni (debatably cannibalism), (b) get a nice long hug from Teddy Cuddles, © have Tor and Tommy Tuck tuck you into bed at night, (d) do squats with Hugh Jazz, (e) have a tug of war with Tig, or (f) have Aaron Wilson uncover a brand new strategy for your team to use? Why?
Tig can tug of war me any time if you know what I am saying *wink*. EHM...I mean yes, totally would love a pizza with the Tony himself, and pepperoni, while not my number 1 choice, is definitely up there in the power rankings for pizza, so I would have definitely enjoyed that a lot.

Task 18 - Sent

**Rich** · 01-12-2020, 07:07 PM

Code:
1. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)

VIP Status again babyyyyyyyy - your player has been invited to attend one of the first homestands of the CC finals as a VIP guest - all expenses paid, front row seats, any hotel you want - and it's all on the Commissioner's dime! Eggy has complained to me the past two seasons about having to pay for this so I'm graciously volunteering SDCore to front the costs for this season's splurge! Are you going to Games 1 and 2 in Edmonton or Games 3 and 4 in Hamilton? Why are you picking there? And what are you going to do in that city to run up SD's tab?? (This is the same prompt as in the past but we've got different cities! be creative! Don't re-use what was written last season.)

Going to Edmonton, even though I don’t really know much about the area, but I know even less about Hamilton. I don’t actually care about the games, but I’ll go anyway. Clearly, the goal is to spend as much of the league’s money as possible, so we’ll start by posting up at the largest concession area, and just paying for everyone there from the time the doors open until the end of the first intermission. This will be a double, because not only will it waste a bunch of money, but it will create a huge jam of people lined up for free stuff. Doing anything bigger than that sounds exhausting, so the rest will be small time. Staying at the Fantasyland Hotel, because that place looks kind of wild. Eating out at nice-ish restaurants four times a day. Ubering to something that is easily within walking distance. Checking two bags on the flights, just because.

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4. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)

Pretend that your team has hit an injury bug - the roster is so depleted that your coach is asking you to play out of position. What position is your coach asking you to play and what about your player build will help you be successful in this new role?

This would be a terrible outcome for my player. The way I have him built, and have been planning to build him make him really only a winger. I was going for a less physical kind of forward, so low strength and checking. I also want him to be more offensively minded, so no defense as a strength. He’d be deficient regardless if he played center or defense. I think center would make more sense though, just because it wouldn’t be as big of a change as playing defense. He’d be terrible at faceoffs, but at least he’d still be good offensively. I think he’d be a complete liability as a defensemen in their own zone. Poor defensive game sense, wouldn’t be able to push guys out from in front of the goalie, would have a hard time winning corner battles. He’d be ok offensively, but I don’t think it would make up for how bad he’d be defensively.

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5. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)

The Most Generic Prompt of All Time - what is your player looking forward to in the offseason? What are they planning on doing? Training? Relaxing? Testing free agency? Whatever it is, let us know!

I had some plans for him this offseason. I was going to do a strength change before uncapping him for the SHL. I wanted to change to Puck Handling, Scoring, and Passing. Jokes on me, I guess. I would have said that he was going to try a new offseason training program, resulting in change in his play style. Instead, it will just be more of the same. He’ll go home to Minnesota to take some time off. Let his body rest a little bit, then right back to training. He’ll be bringing in a personal hockey coach to work with 4 days a week. Working on his hands, his fitness, his skating, all that fun stuff. Next season will be his first season up in the SHL, so he needs to be the best he can be. He’s excited for it, of course. Excited to be part of rebuilding the North Stars.

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7. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)

The SHL, trying to re-extend popularity among a fan base whose numbers have diminished this quarter, is hosting a town hall think tank right before the finals. It is a well-attended event, and many come forward with ideas to reinvigorate the league. What are some ways the SHL can re-ignite that flame with fans and soar to new heights of popularity? (don't you dare write about sim engines here, pretend this is a real life hockey league and answer it that way lol)

Finally, we can get rid of the one true enemy of the people: regulation. First of all, any kind of code of conduct, or ethics agreement that management/owners/coaches have to sign, tear those right up. Player safety? Nope, gone. Drug testing was a huge drain on league funds, and no one wanted it to begin with. You can still wear a helmet, if you’re a coward. I won’t tell you to bring weapons onto the ice, but I won’t tell you not to, either. Winning is the only thing that matters. Do whatever it takes. We’re going to fire a whole lot of refs, too. Surely one is enough, and surely they can be trained to operate a camera at the same time. I mean, they’re already watching the game. And finally, the crown jewel of my plan. Teaching monkeys to skate. They have no concept of money, so they’ll take much smaller salaries than human players. Imagine a team of knife wielding monkeys. Now imagine the ratings.

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15. Written, up to 5 TPE Pick up to 5 Challenge Cup related topics to write about! Each topic is worth 1 TPE. Each answer must be 50+ words to qualify.

A. Tommy Tuck posted a better SV% during the regular season, but Geezus Kryyst has been lights out during the playoffs. Which team has the advantage in goal for this series?

It’s a coin toss. Neither team has a real advantage. I don’t think it’s a secret that goalie play is inconsistent. I’m not 100% sure, but I think for goalies, anything over 1200 TPE is irrelevant. Tuck is just barely below this, so they’re both basically the same in terms of skill.

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B. Edmonton averages more hits per game than Hamilton, but also more PIMs - and Hamilton has proven pretty deadly on the power play this postseason while the Blizzard's PK has struggled. Be the coach: should Edmonton stick to a physical style of play or back off a bit in this series?

I like when teams have physical players. However, I’ve never been a big fan of using the physical strategy on lines in the sim. I don’t really know how much of a difference it makes, but it seems like just having guys with checking is enough. Hits will create turnovers. You just have to balance that against the added penalties. Don’t be scared. Hit people.

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D. Which player name is your favorite from the rosters of these two teams? (not your favorite player, but your favorite name)

I’ve always been partial to Terrance Nova. I’m not really sure why. I guess part of it probably has to do with how good he has been, and that I shared a team with him for a while. It’s just an interesting name. I have no idea if it’s from something, or a parody of a person. I just like it.

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E. WOULD YOU RATHER: (a) eat a Pepperoni pizza with Tony Pepperoni (debatably cannibalism), (b) get a nice long hug from Teddy Cuddles, (c) have Tor and Tommy Tuck tuck you into bed at night, (d) do squats with Hugh Jazz, (e) have a tug of war with Tig, or (f) have Aaron Wilson uncover a brand new strategy for your team to use? Why?

Oh, I think eat a pepperoni pizza with Tony Pepperoni. Although a huge from Teddy Cuddles is a close second. You can never go wrong with pepperoni pizza, it is delicious. And I don’t think it would be cannibalism, unless the pepperoni is from a questionable source, or there is something in Tony’s past I don’t know about.

StamkosFan · 01-12-2020, 07:13 PM

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1. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)

VIP Status again babyyyyyyyy - your player has been invited to attend one of the first homestands of the CC finals as a VIP guest - all expenses paid, front row seats, any hotel you want - and it's all on the Commissioner's dime! Eggy has complained to me the past two seasons about having to pay for this so I'm graciously volunteering SDCore to front the costs for this season's splurge! Are you going to Games 1 and 2 in Edmonton or Games 3 and 4 in Hamilton? Why are you picking there? And what are you going to do in that city to run up SD's tab?? (This is the same prompt as in the past but we've got different cities! be creative! Don't re-use what was written last season.)

I'm going to Hamilton so that I can be miserable and spend the entire time hating them. The first thing I'm doing on SDCore's tab is heading to a bar and drowning my sorrows with many rounds. With how this season has gone and having to watch Hamilton, I certainly need lots of alcohol, though I doubt even a drink can fix it. It'll be nice not having to pay to get trashed, and perhaps I'll make everyone in the bar my friend by buying rounds for everyone there. Next I'm going to hire some people online to protest outside Hamilton's arena and harass their players as they enter the arena, hopefully to disrupt their focus. The last thing I wanted would be to see Hamilton win after all. I'll make sure to buy some Blizzard gear too so I can represent Edmonton and be a very vocal supporter of them. I'll get seats right behind Hamilton's bench and buy a ton of beers to dump on their heads over the glass. They get what they deserve.

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4. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)

Pretend that your team has hit an injury bug - the roster is so depleted that your coach is asking you to play out of position. What position is your coach asking you to play and what about your player build will help you be successful in this new role?

My player would probably be asked to play defense as he has 99 defense and has experience at that position from playing that during Sweden's gold medal run in the IIHF a few seasons back. Wagstrom has all the markings of a Swedish defenseman in the mold of Erik Karlsson; the excellent skating power, the effortless puckhandling, the raw strength, the dazzling passing, the ferocious slapshot. He is solid in his own end, yet can make offensive contributions; thanks to his high hockey IQ, he has no problem reading plays both when trying to defend against an odd-man rush and when looking to send the puck up the ice. As a lefty who plays right wing, he can play either side of the ice depending on what the team needs, and this versatility would also be invaluable. His resourcefulness should allow him to succeed regardless of where his coaches place him.

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7. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)

The SHL, trying to re-extend popularity among a fan base whose numbers have diminished this quarter, is hosting a town hall think tank right before the finals. It is a well-attended event, and many come forward with ideas to reinvigorate the league. What are some ways the SHL can re-ignite that flame with fans and soar to new heights of popularity? (don't you dare write about sim engines here, pretend this is a real life hockey league and answer it that way lol)

SHL needs to do more marketing to help gain more popularity for the league. Of course to start off they should do some TV ad campaigns and popularity stunts like getting pop stars to perform at the all-star game, but free advertising is the best. That means cultivating a social media presence; the SHL youtube channel should be used for more clickbaity stuff rather than just game highlights and dull interviews. Stuff like player trash talk and weird moments could rack up more views and draw more attention to the sport. They need to step up their instagram and twitter game too, making some witty comments and posting some memes. This would resonate with the younger generations particularly, who are the most susceptible to advertising campaigns and more open to trying new things. And then lastly, they should do some real life marketing, putting up billboards on the streets and doing meet and greet campaigns to connect with fans. Feeling connected is important to staying engaged with a team, and player events make the fans have a chance to connect with their favorite players.

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8. Written, 4 TPE

Write a sonnet about an SHL-related topic. Be sure to follow the proper ABAB-CDCD-EFEF-GG rhyme structure or your HS English (or equivalent any-language Writing teacher) will track you down in and give you a failing grade.

The offseason has been nothing but a bore,
An endless wait for the Wolfpack,
And now the league feels like a chore,
After yet another setback.

Missing the playoffs for yet another year,
Underperforming and disappointing,
It'll happen next year too I fear,
That's where all the signs are pointing.

If winning is our one and only quest,
That might explain why this year was no fun,
This effort was surely not our best,
But at least we don't cheat like Hamilton.

It's a shame that we had to choke,
And that S52 will be another joke.

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8. Casual Member Special, 3 TPE max - 1 TPE for participation, 0.5 TPE for each correct answer - SEND ANSWER IN PM TO "PT DIRECTOR" (tagged below)

A. In which season did the Hamilton Steelhawks last win the Challenge Cup?

B. Name a player who has won the Anton Razov trophy while playing for the Edmonton Blizzard

C. Which Edmonton Blizzard player famously has a cow as their player render?

D. Of the 18 skaters on Hamilton's playoff roster, how many of them have a Passing rating higher than their Scoring rating?

**Important**: Send the answers to username "PT Director" with the subject of the message titled “S51 CW" - Do not send it to my personal account; those will not be graded. Do not post the answers in here; you will not get credit for the task.

Sent

nykonax · 01-12-2020, 07:16 PM

1. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)
VIP Status again babyyyyyyyy - your player has been invited to attend one of the first homestands of the CC finals as a VIP guest - all expenses paid, front row seats, any hotel you want - and it's all on the Commissioner's dime! Eggy has complained to me the past two seasons about having to pay for this so I'm graciously volunteering SDCore to front the costs for this season's splurge! Are you going to Games 1 and 2 in Edmonton or Games 3 and 4 in Hamilton? Why are you picking there? And what are you going to do in that city to run up SD's tab?? (This is the same prompt as in the past but we've got different cities! be creative! Don't re-use what was written last season.)

Woo I love SDCore, and I also love spending his money. First things first, both cities suck but I’m going to Edmonton because it seems like a more expensive city. As payback for many things I am going to a jewelry store and getting a custom gold chain that says “I will not be shushed”. The next thing is I will pay SDCore an undisclosed amount to never shush me again, of course with his own money. I will also use his card to buy all the RP in league of legends just because why not. I’ll also bribe hamilton to redistribute everything into passing. Of course I’m also an upcoming free agent and Edmonton is a nice city, so I’ll make SD pay for me to not leave in FA. Edmonton is pretty cold this time of year, so I’ll also be buying a versace winter jacket, with gucci gloves of course. Finally I better get first class treatment back to Chicago, so I’ll buy an emirates first class flight to dubai then to new york or something, then first class to chicago from there

5. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)
The Most Generic Prompt of All Time - what is your player looking forward to in the offseason? What are they planning on doing? Training? Relaxing? Testing free agency? Whatever it is, let us know!
Jules Watt is an avid fan of esports title League of Legends. The newest season has just released on January 10th, and Watt ahs been dying to get back on the grind. Of course he could’ve been grinding before the new season, but just like the SHL preseason the League of Legends preseason is pointless. However, since he got literally no playing time on the Syndicate last season he spent his time on the bench learning from League of Legends gods like @Kylrad and @stud. This season Watt is prepared to make the climb from Gold IV, where he ended last year, to challenger and maybe even the LCS and look for a career change. Watt also just signed an extension with the Syndicate for the next 2 and potentially 3 seasons if it doesn’t work, but he will not be testing free agency like some other players. If he gets around to it he might do some training, but everyone doubts he will looking at his track record

4. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)
Pretend that your team has hit an injury bug - the roster is so depleted that your coach is asking you to play out of position. What position is your coach asking you to play and what about your player build will help you be successful in this new role?
Well, Jules Watt is already a monster at blocking shots, so goalie would be reasonable, but if he’s up against Hamilton, just like any other goalie in the league he will be screwed, so instead coach Kylrad is putting Watt on forward. Now, in order for Jules Watt to be successful at forward as a dman he’s going to need a serious change of skill. As the primary passing dman on the Chicago Syndicate Watt is going to have to step up and start scoring some goals. Chicago’s especially screwed if Cameron Carter 2 gets injured, so Jules will need to do some serious shooting if Chicago wants a chance. He’ll also have to unlearn how to pass since it won’t help at all. Puck handling and endurance will also be a must if Jules Watt wants to succeed as a forward playing the big minutes versus the top shl players. Although, he certainly has what it takes to succeed as a forward, or even a dman in position if only he was played...

9. Written, 1 TPE
Write a haiku about an SHL-related topic. Be sure to follow the 3 line, 5-7-5 syllable structure or Godzilla will stomp on your house/apartment while you sleep.
I hate shooting teams
Therefore I hate Hamilton
I hope they lose bad

17. Graphic, 3 TPE - The Procrastinator Special!
Welp, you waited until the last day to grind out your CW and you also like doing graphics instead of writing. That's cool, too! Create a Series Recap broadcast graphic - the contents can be whatever you want, but your graphic must list both teams and at least 3 stats for each.
https://i.imgur.com/VmHCLmH.png
18. Casual Member Special, 3 TPE max - 1 TPE for participation, 0.5 TPE for each correct answer - SEND ANSWER IN PM TO "PT DIRECTOR" (tagged below)
sent

***Hallsy*** · 01-12-2020, 07:32 PM

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2. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)
Alternate Reality: Physicists and other smarties believe that this reality is just one of infinite realities existing alongside this one in parallel. Take us over to one of those realities in which everything is the same but these S51 playoffs have unfolded differently. What happened in that reality's playoffs and who's in the Challenge Cup over there?

Where the Hamilton Steelhawks don't win the challenge cup. They will probably get meme'd on and honestly it will probably would have been funny to watch. I don't mind getting meme'd on what I get pissed off is when we were getting trolled and members would try and get an reaction out of us. Or even the name calling that was presented around the forums it was toxic for a couple of days being a steelhawk during the playoffs and I am glad some members have been able to move on for the betterment of the league. I really hope that we continue what we have been able to accomplish the last couple of days and hopefully we can quit the bickering and try to help the league move on. It has to be as if we don't move on this situation then the league will not get better and we will get stuck in a toxic environment.

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5. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)
The Most Generic Prompt of All Time - what is your player looking forward to in the offseason? What are they planning on doing? Training? Relaxing? Testing free agency? Whatever it is, let us know!

I am looking forward in doing my CW honestly, Once I claim this I will get 16 more tpe where I could put into my player and be a better player. I like doing my point tasks and getting better every day is something that I try to do in the SHL and Im excited to looking forward into becoming a better player in S52. Hugh Jazz will have better sophomore season will lead the steelhawks to another championship. I am also looking forward into completing ITC and Ac and other pT so I could earn roughly 100 TPE this off-season and I will be closer to 1000 tpe and make the Steelhawks one of the best dynasty's in the league moving forward. I want to hit the weights really hard so I could get more explosive power so I could be faster and maybe work on my passing skills so I could get more assists.

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6. Written, 2 TPE (100 words min)
Which player from Hamilton or Edmonton would you bet on to win a regular season individual award in a future season? What player and what award? What makes you think they'll live up to their potential and take home the hardware?

Hugh Jazz should be able to win a individual award in a future season. he was the best rookie last season and he was only in his draft +2 season he was able to get 47 points in the regular season and he should be getting better and better. He earns TPE at an high rate and he will keep on getting better every season. Hugh Jazz is a consistent earner and is going to be a 40+ point in this league for a very long time moving forward. He will be a hall of famer considering the last two players were hall of famers too.

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15. Written, up to 5 TPE Pick up to 5 Challenge Cup related topics to write about! Each topic is worth 1 TPE. Each answer must be 50+ words to qualify.
A. Tommy Tuck posted a better SV% during the regular season, but Geezus Kryyst has been lights out during the playoffs. Which team has the advantage in goal for this series?
Geezus Kryyst has been better in the playoofs and I feel like recency bias has him as the better net minder for this playoffs. I think whoever has the hotest goalie ending into the finals will have better success and Kryyst brought his A game in the playoffs and have been consistently good and has been a stable netminder. Things that you want out of your netminder in the playoffs.

B. Edmonton averages more hits per game than Hamilton, but also more PIMs - and Hamilton has proven pretty deadly on the power play this postseason while the Blizzard's PK has struggled. Be the coach: should Edmonton stick to a physical style of play or back off a bit in this series?

I would back off a bit in the series if I was Edmonton as Hamilton's power-play is just too deadly, if they can stay out of the box and be disciplined during this series. If they can do that they will have a good chance to win the series and if they don't, they will lose.

C. Who is your X-factor skater in this series? Who's got the intangibles? Who's gonna step up for their team when it matters most? Why do you think so?
Robert Phelps, he is one of the most respected veterans in the league and this is his first finals and he is going to need to step up and win this series as it will make his career tainted if he makes the finals. He is going to be in the hall of fame one day and adding a cup to his career will make it look nicer.

D. Which player name is your favorite from the rosters of these two teams? (not your favorite player, but your favorite name)
Hugh jazz is my favorite name out of all the names on the rosters of these two teams. I am not being bias here at all and its not like its my players name or anything. It can't be like that or anything like that. There probably is better names and I am definitely being bias here.

E. WOULD YOU RATHER: (a) eat a Pepperoni pizza with Tony Pepperoni (debatably cannibalism), (b) get a nice long hug from Teddy Cuddles, © have Tor and Tommy Tuck tuck you into bed at night, (d) do squats with Hugh Jazz, (e) have a tug of war with Tig, or (f) have Aaron Wilson uncover a brand new strategy for your team to use? Why?

I would do squats with Hugh jazz. Because I want to have those thicc thighs like him so I can be thicc as fuck you know what I mean. He is the thicciness player of all time and I probably could learn a thing or two from doing squats with Hugh jazz.

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16. Written, 2 TPE - The Procrastinator Special! (100 words min)
Welp, you waited until the last day to grind out your CW and the CC finals are longggggggg over by now. congrats to [TEAM], woo! Reflecting back on the series, who gets your vote for series MVP? Make the case why this player deserves it over any other.

Geezus Kryyst would get my vote for series MVP. He was a wall for the steelhawks and was a big reason why Hamilton was able to beat the Blizzard in 5 games. I don't think the steelhawks would be even in the finals without his performance and its sad that people are going to ignore his playoff performance due to the Hamilton shooting gate or wtv it is being called now days. He was great in close games in the finals, Hamilton won 2 overtime games and he was great in those games, he had one bad game but he has been great throughout the finals and that was the only bad performance in his playoffs.

18. Casual Member Special, 3 TPE max - 1 TPE for participation, 0.5 TPE for each correct answer - SEND ANSWER IN PM TO "PT DIRECTOR" (tagged below)
A. In which season did the Hamilton Steelhawks last win the Challenge Cup?
B. Name a player who has won the Anton Razov trophy while playing for the Edmonton Blizzard
C. Which Edmonton Blizzard player famously has a cow as their player render?
D. Of the 18 skaters on Hamilton's playoff roster, how many of them have a Passing rating higher than their Scoring rating?

Done!

Boomcheck · 01-12-2020, 07:47 PM

1. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)

CC2 always gets VIP status at these events due to his status as a star player, but I also know where I want to go. Hamilton games 3 and 4 to deal with those dirty cheating fools. I know that they are on steroids and are abusing all the drugs to get the ultimate advantage. They have only lost 1 game in the playoffs so far and have been dominating, though it does disappoint me that people would abuse hard drugs for that extra edge. What happened to integrity, right? This is not about running up the tab on SD's card, CC2 has some unfinished business with Hamilton. They once traded for him at the deadline and neutered his production while forcing him to miss the playoffs. There are rumors that Jodan was the one that beat up the Steelhawks mascot but could it have been CC2 all along? CC2 is going there to boo and throw objects onto the ice like stuffed animals, and even sneak a literal hawk into the building to release it there just to mess with Hamilton fans. That's what he will use on SD's card, a bird.

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190 Words

2. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)

It should have been in this universe, but here Chicago beats Manhattan in game 7 by a Cameron Carter II hat trick. They barrel through Hamilton in a hard fought series to take control and eliminate the cheaters. They still meet the Edmonton Blizzard in the finals as only one result has truly changed and it is the Syndicate not blowing a 5-3 lead in the third period. It might sound wack but I think Chicago was built for the play offs and only got beaten by the Manhattan team somehow playing harder in front of Crawfling. It was a relatively close series but Chicago can't go blowing a 2-0 lead and also in game 7, that is just unacceptable. In this universe CC2 leads Chicago to victory and brings home the Razov award for his efforts through out the playoffs and slaying the demons in Hammy and then Edmonton. Maybe we should use the alternate universe result?

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158 words

4. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)

CC2 can essentially play any position so that's not a major problem here given his skill set and abilities. He has a top tier shot and can definitely put up goals when the chips are down and he has the 'stuff' when it comes to creating pressure. His defenseman style would be interesting since he can make a solid quarterback option given his elite level skating and and surprisingly solid play making ability but e all know that s not how he would be used. CC2 would be on the point and taking multiple shots and grinding out opponents with his physical style, and I DEFINITELY believe he would be some sort of Biscuit nominee given how it is voted on. Carter II is already one of the few best defensive threats in the league and this wouldn't be any different in another position, especially on defense. Can he also win the Stevens? That's a pretty solid shot for that and honestly maybe CC2 s better as a defenseman. Who knows.

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171 Words

5. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)

What is CC2 looking forward to? He has a NTC and one more year left on his deal but can probably ask out whenever he wants but that is besides the point. It is my first season into 'regression' so it will be pretty tough having to endure and off-set aging but that is the name of the game and I hope I can train well enough to maintain my production. Chicago is looking to build on their post season appearance. Cameron will be representing USA at the IIHF who are looking to defend their gold medal of the previous tournament-- And that 2 million prize sure is tasty. This off season will be about taking it easy and preparing for what is next in my career and that is the league evolving to a different level. Does CC2 remain a threat? Can he still be a Dar contender? I am pretty sold that Carter will be nominated and possibly win this season unless the voting group prefers Tony's point totals compared to CC2's physicality and defense. CC2 WILL be at the awards show given this and I am hoping for a finish as an all star and improving. I may be getting older but I feel like the best seasons are still ahead.

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214 Words

6. Written, 2 TPE (100 words min)
My pick is Gabriel Johnson. Yeah, yeah I know he also exploitd the engine this past season alongside other Hamilton players and I do roast him for it but I think it will be a different story in FHM when we all switch over. He is set up as a defenseman, which has historically not been a super deep position, to actually play well. He has been researching and looking for options and should be a goal scoring option if allowed in the SHL. With a solid defensive base and high speed playing style I have no doubt that he can score a good 35+ points down the line and even have a season beyond that for a Stevens trophy. He should be good for a long time and has a solid supporting cast in Hamilton that has many up and coming players alongside elite veterans. Go get 'em Gaberino and shout out to Dylan/Ferda/GA/every other follower of the cc2 church.

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140 Words

18. Casual Member Special, 3 TPE max - 1 TPE for participation, 0.5 TPE for each correct answer - SEND ANSWER IN PM TO "PT DIRECTOR" (tagged below)

DONE AND SENT TO PT DIRECTOR

KlusteR · 01-12-2020, 09:00 PM

Code:
1. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)

VIP Status again babyyyyyyyy - your player has been invited to attend one of the first homestands of the CC finals as a VIP guest - all expenses paid, front row seats, any hotel you want - and it's all on the Commissioner's dime! Eggy has complained to me the past two seasons about having to pay for this so I'm graciously volunteering SDCore to front the costs for this season's splurge! Are you going to Games 1 and 2 in Edmonton or Games 3 and 4 in Hamilton? Why are you picking there? And what are you going to do in that city to run up SD's tab?? (This is the same prompt as in the past but we've got different cities! be creative! Don't re-use what was written last season.)

Oh boy, I get to spend as much as I want, and my junior team GM has to pay for it? This is going to be a great day.

As an assistant-captain in Lethbridge, I will, of course, be choosing Edmonton as my destination, in order to stay in Alberta and keep the transport fees to a minimum. I feel like it's my duty to invite the rest of the team to a shopping spree at the West Edmonton Mall - of course, we'll also be buying new bathing suits and towels in order to enjoy the water park that's located inside... and try to smuggle some booze in, to enjoy it even more. Once we're warmed up, we'll head to the Rogers Centre to watch the Steelhawks face off with the Blizzard, but we'll surely be more interested by the buffet than the game on the ice. The moment the game is done, it's time to tour the bars downtown in order to close out the night, ordering as many drinks as possible for as many people as possible. Thanks, Corey!

(182 words)

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3. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)

The two finals teams have decided to team up for a fundraising opportunity to benefit both cities. What noble cause will the teams decide to benefit? What sort of fundraiser will the teams hold together? How will the two teams mesh before the finals start?

Since both cities participating in the final this season are Canadian, I figured it would be a great time to help with the youth of the country. Hockey teams usually do a lot of charity work with youth programs, participating in hockey camps and visiting nearby children's hospitals - which is very noble, but it feels like there's a fringe of the population that keeps being forgotten in those activities. For Edmonton, since they are a city located up north, near a few native settlements, I feel like their fundraiser could help support the indigenous youth of the country, with donations helping build schools, clinics and roads in northern Alberta (every little bit helps!) For Hamilton, seeing as they are in the urban center of Canada, I would see them raising funds to help new immigrants in the country get settled in, and help integrate them with supplies, like clothes (especially for the winter), simple sports accessories like soccer balls, and food.

(161 words)

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4. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)

Pretend that your team has hit an injury bug - the roster is so depleted that your coach is asking you to play out of position. What position is your coach asking you to play and what about your player build will help you be successful in this new role?

It's very rare that a coach will ask their starting goalie to trade the pads and blocker for the usual attire of a hockey player, but since our roster is fully depleted, I feel like I would be better suited playing defense. While my Endurance is not the best, my Skating has drastically improved in the past season, as well as my Agility. I can use my Size and Size Control in order to keep the attacking players to the outside, and my reflexes on the shot defense can be of tremendous help to the goalie, as I will innately work to block as many shots as possible, and because of my Rebound Control, I'll be able to deflect them to the right place. The only problem is how low my Puck Handling is, which may lead to some trouble if I'm being pressured on the forecheck, but I can always depend on the boards to clear the zone efficiently.

(160 words)

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5. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)

The Most Generic Prompt of All Time - what is your player looking forward to in the offseason? What are they planning on doing? Training? Relaxing? Testing free agency? Whatever it is, let us know!

This off-season will probably be the most important of my young career, as I was pretty much confirmed by the head office of the Minnesota Chiefs that I will have every chance to earn the starting job for the team that has drafted me, two seasons ago. I was sad to see who I thought would be the veteran goalie that would show me the ropes, Sébastien Primeau, go to the New Orleans Specters at the trade deadline last season - but that has opened the door for me. I contacted my Lethbridge mentor, Harry Carpet, right away, to establish a training regimen for the off-season, as I know he was thrust into the same kind of situation in his first season in Toronto - a young starter in a team in full rebuild. I feel like my reflexes has never been quicker, and I'm defying the shooter with ease now. However, I know that I still have room to improve, but I'll do my absolute best to show GM Gibbles that he was right to put his trust in me.

(181 words)

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8. Written, 4 TPE

Write a sonnet about an SHL-related topic. Be sure to follow the proper ABAB-CDCD-EFEF-GG rhyme structure or your HS English (or equivalent any-language Writing teacher) will track you down in and give you a failing grade.

Come all, you weary souls
To separate puck from ice
Where the ecstasy of goals
For this day will suffice

Come all, you blessed men
To dish a pass supreme
With heightened acumen
And elevate your team

Come all, you bruising oaks
Sturdy and unwavering
Carrying the heavy yokes
Of defense and delivering

And to all the towering, padded warriors of the net
May you stop every offensive attempt in this sonnet

sailingdrumstick · 01-12-2020, 09:30 PM

1. Written, 3 TPE (173 words written)

You BET Thicc Cheezy is going to games 3 and 4 in Hamilton. The reason for Thicc choosing Hamilton is two fold: Cheezy has hit up all the online forums and has determined that Hamilton has the best bar scene out of the two cities and the best ladies who love hockey players, and of course he wants to support his good buddy Kayhall who has gotten a call up for the playoffs. Thicc Cheezy is going to do what Thicc Cheezy does best to run up a tab, drink, buy girls drinks, eat garbage food from any pub he can find. Thicc is really going to live the high life for a few days and take advantage of this trip that he does not need to pay for! He has also pre ordered a custom made gucci jacket that says VIP on the front and THICC CHEEZY on the back, along with his phone number underneath. This is sure to be a trip for the ages that will go down in history.

2. Written, 3 TPE (150 words written)

This reality is of course Thicc Cheezy's favourite reality. It is the reality where Minnesota has absolutely tore up the league during the regular season and has had a hard fought playoff battle to get to the finals against the Buffalo Stampede of course. In this reality Thicc Cheezy was called up shortly after Halifax was eliminated from their playoffs. He was immediately put on the first line and has really taken advantage of this by putting up 1.25 points per game. Everywhere you look there are Thicc Cheezy jerseys. Every time he touches the puck Cheezy's name is chanted through the crowd. He had solidified himself as a fan favourite, and he is sure to go down in the SHL hall of fame when he retires. Some SHL analysts are even calling him potentially the best player the SHL has ever seen?....Crazy times in the SHL in this reality..

3. Written, 3 TPE (159 words written)

The teams have decided to team up and fund raise for homeless ducks. You see, Hamilton has recently become overrun with homeless ducks, expert analysis actually estimates that the homeless duck population has quadrupled in 4 months! Nobody knows quite why this is, but one thing is certain - its getting to be a major problem. Children are getting attacked, dead ducks are all over the highways. The two teams have teamed up in a "DUNK YOUR FAVOURITE PLAYER" fundraiser. For at least $10 you can throw a ball at the target for a chance to dunk your favourite (or least favourite) player! Unfortunately, halfway through the fundraiser both teams broke out in a massive brawl. There were bottles being thrown, chicken being shoved in peoples faces and swear words being yelled. The fundraiser needed to be called off and all the funds raised needed to be used to repair all the damage done during the "riot" between both teams.

5. Written, 3 TPE (158 words written)

Thicc Cheezy is really looking forward to getting as far away from hockey as possible. He is going to hit up every bar he can find, drink every beer he can drink, and hangout with any girl that will allow him. He has a 3 week trip planned to Bora Bora starting mid next week, where he will be found relaxing in his hut over the ocean, swimming, hitting on the servers. One thing is for certain - you will see cheezy very rarely in the gym. This last offseason Thicc spent alot of time in the gym and training on ice with any professional he could find. This caused Thicc to burn out toward the end of the season and it affected his performance, so this year in order to be able to stay focused all year and especially have a solid playoffs he will be doing lots of things that have absolutely nothing to do with hockey.

8. Written, 4 TPE (Sonnet)

To Simulation Hockey League, I write.
How I love the way you Score, Skate and skate,

Invading my mind day and through the night,

Always dreaming about the awesome fate.

Let me compare you to a pretender?

You are more splendid and more glorious.

Serb fogs hide the oceans of November,

And autumntime has the good aureus.

How do I love you? Let me count the ways.

I love your Player Progression, TPE and fun.

Thinking of your amusing TPE fills my days.

My love for you is the superb long run.

Now I must away with a special heart,
Remember my bright words whilst we're apart.

iOBESE · 01-12-2020, 09:31 PM

1. This is a question without a question as for all 100% Im gonna go to the game one and two in Edmonton and then complain that my tickets were wrong and I did not get in and demand to see the game three and four as compensation in Hamilton. But the main event would be in Edmonton and to raise the tab I would take out the whole Edmonston Blizzards team to a pub and pay for all the drinks, afterall that is the team that drafted me and those are my future teammates. Or maybe I would have a hotel party with a room service, not sure which one would make the tab bigger, so why not have both of them? Have a great time at the pub and after that go to the hotel and have an after party with those who are still in the mood to party. Probably we will pick up some girls that were doing shots with us in the pub and have a blast.

3. The two finals teams have decided to team up for a fundraising opportunity. Although originally it was meant to benefit both cities, they decided that both cities will benefit from the publicity anyways so why not to do it for something far more important. As the ice hockey is the game on ice and there is big problem with the ice on earth in terms of global warming and all the melting ice, then both teams decided to make a fundraising campaigns to raise the awareness of the global warming and the money would go to further educational means of educating the people around the world about the global warming and how does it affects our lives right now and how it will affect us in the future and generations to come. Many well known people were invited to come and support the campaign trough social media in hopes to attract as many donators online and at the event as possible.

4. Out of nowhere the players started to drop like flies. Not that much drop that get injuries like they would have been made out of glass. We are hitting a point where those who are left standing have to play out of their usual roles just to fill out the lines. Although Danila is a defensive defenseman with an average shot he is asked to play a center. The reason why the coach asked to play the center position was for the fact that most of the centers are pass first anyways and Danila has a good passing skills. When it comes to faceoffs then he definitely is not the best one, but he is very skilled in defensive play and that gives him knowledge of some tricks how to put the other player out of position. In no way the coach can hope that Danila is gonna be able to perform to the same level as someone who has spent playing center position half of his life, but in situation like this, there is no better options, so it is what it is.

5. The previous offseasons where quite chill as Danila was still getting used to the life in states and did not do much than trying to find new things to do and doing the constant training to better himself for the next season. He already had some offers from several IIHF countries that were interested in him to play for them in the previous seasons, but Danila knew he did not want to do it, at least not for now. The other offseasons he told them to not contact him for at least another season and you know how them managers are...they will be on to you as soon as they can. THis offseason came and the IIHF managers were dailing Danilas number yet again and asking him to represent. At the end Danila gave it a thought and decided that it might not be a bad idea to actually play in the cup and keep himself fresh. Knowing that most of the other guys from the leagues are representing their own countries and a lot of them were from the SHL, therefore will allow Danila to see what is the level he's gonna go against. The lucky nation was Switzerland as they were not only the first country that got in touch with him but also they were the best country when it came to tax deductions. Ukrainian government was asking too much tax from Danilas salary from his contracts and he was not happy about it, so besides the fact that he could keep himself busy and in top shape, he also did this as a business decision. So this offseason it is all about that IIHF.

Bruins10 · 01-12-2020, 10:07 PM

Code:
1. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)

VIP Status again babyyyyyyyy - your player has been invited to attend one of the first homestands of the CC finals as a VIP guest - all expenses paid, front row seats, any hotel you want - and it's all on the Commissioner's dime! Eggy has complained to me the past two seasons about having to pay for this so I'm graciously volunteering SDCore to front the costs for this season's splurge! Are you going to Games 1 and 2 in Edmonton or Games 3 and 4 in Hamilton? Why are you picking there? And what are you going to do in that city to run up SD's tab?? (This is the same prompt as in the past but we've got different cities! be creative! Don't re-use what was written last season.)

Id have to choose to go to Games 3 and 4. Not because I do not like Edmonton, but just because of the people in Hamilton. I made a lot of friends in the juniors, especially since I was traded. But the main people that kept me active here and the ones that made it fun for me to return to the SHL now play for the Hamilton Steelhawks. Guys like Jax Duggan, Dale Miller, Aaron Wilson were all part of the Whalers team that made a couple of runs when I was present in the lockerrom. I feel like because of the past friendship I had, they would be able to take care of me in the city. Tell me what Hotel to stay at that has some good cleaning service if you know what I mean, the clubs and parties to go after the game and the restaurants to eat at. Plus, if I am in the same city, maybe they can even house me or tag along while I am there.

Code:
4. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)

Pretend that your team has hit an injury bug - the roster is so depleted that your coach is asking you to play out of position. What position is your coach asking you to play and what about your player build will help you be successful in this new role?

I think that Joe would end up asking me to play goaltender. I already block a lot of shots and I have a big frame, so he would tell me to lace up in the crease and put on the other type of equipment. Another thing that doesnt help is that I am a rookie and a rookie on the team, it would be like my initiation for me to go in nets and not play defense or forward. And, if he doesnt make me play goaltender, he would probably have me as like a grocery stick or equipment manager. He would tell me that we already weak enough, me getting more ice time just hurts us even more, I know Joe. He is a nice guy on the surface but in the room he has one hell of a temper, lemme tell you. The amount of suicides I had to do at practice was not fun I could guarentee you.

Code:
5. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)

The Most Generic Prompt of All Time - what is your player looking forward to in the offseason? What are they planning on doing? Training? Relaxing? Testing free agency? Whatever it is, let us know!

I do not really know exactly what I want to do, a vacation sure seems nice. But Free Agency? Again? Wow, I do not know about that one. It was very draining and tiring to always get here and have to answer messages and phone calls. The pitches were fun and it was cool to hear from everyone around the league, but the affect it has on your health, and the mental health, it was really a lot. If you have the chance not to test it, I think it would be a good decision after having to deal with all that stuff.
Thinking about it now, I have to go to like Bora Bora. Turn the phone off and just relax. Hit some training like on the beach, swimming and jogging. The joints need a break from the weight room

Code:
6. Written, 2 TPE (100 words min)

Which player from Hamilton or Edmonton would you bet on to win a regular season individual award in a future season? What player and what award? What makes you think they'll live up to their potential and take home the hardware?

I had the opportunity to be able to play on the same pairing as Jax Duggan and I think I would have to bet on him. The defenseman in the SHL are stacked thats forsure, the race for the best defenseman is always a tight one and a fun one, but Jax has that competitive edge and that work ethic that will put him on top for many seasons I am sure. If there is one guy I would not be surprised that I would lose to, it would be him. In the end, he was the one that helped me take my game to the next level. Without him, I do not think I end up winning those 3 cups in the SMJHL and I do not have that much of a great rookie season like I did.

Jenny · 01-12-2020, 10:31 PM

2. (3 tpe)

In this alternate reality, Olivier Cloutier was drafted to the Halifax Raiders in the J and got sucked into a weird love triangle thing with Dominic Montgomery and Jimmy Slothface - or was it a quadrangle, because Dom had a thing with Leo Lockhart, too, but it kind of fell apart and there were a lot of late nights spent consoling a drunk emotional Dom... and that led to a lot of drama when Jimmy and Olivier got drafted to San Francisco as well somehow (magically). They found out that Leo wasn't actually a monster, he was just a cute considerate dude with some commitment issues, and if there's one thing Jimmy and Olivier understand, it's having a slightly fucked up past that you don't really want to talk about or burden your partner with - and they just wanna see Dom happy, so they're gonna #plot. (spoiler: it doesn't go exactly how they planned but everyone ends up happy). Anyway the San Francisco Pride are in the playoffs in this reality but they still lose to Hamilton.

4. (3 tpe)

The coach of the Tampa Bay Barracuda is forced to make known pure sniping winger Olivier Cloutier play, of all the fucking things in the world, defence. And not a daring offensive defenceman who can play both sides of the ice, either - a defensive defenceman. The coach wants Cloutier to get out there and use the body to deter the other team's hotshot forwards. Cloutier is short as hell and weighs like a buck fifty soaking wet with all his gear on, and he's never taken a hit with grace in his life, so good fucking luck with this - but also, it's a simulation and he has a high defence attribute and a high puck handling attribute, so he can perform on defence pretty well. Will it be the hard hitting play the coach is looking for? Probably not. Will he add himself to the ranks of injured players trying? Almost definitely.

5. (3 tpe)

I'm not really sure what Olivier will be up to this offseason because in my SHL reality, it's the offseason after S49 and some life-altering shit just went down, so who knows what will happen with that in the next two years? I'll make some predictions about what things will still be happening in Olivier's life that he's looking forward to, though. First off, he's definitely going to spend some quality time on the top floor of Jimmy's house in NOLA. Second, he'll find some time to visit his grandmother in Wales and he'll check in with his cousins as well. He'll probably bring Jimmy with him, and then they'll visit Jimmy's parents for a bit. Third, he'll spend the fourth of July weekend in Michigan getting an excellent tan. Fourth, he and Leo will spend some quality more-than-BFFs time doing something or other - he'll probably see Leo's family as well. The details? Who knows!

7. (3 tpe)

This is a pretty wild idea, but hear me out - to reinvigorate the fans, we're gonna shake up the league by just moving the players around willy-nilly. You get to protect like maximum two of your star players, and the rest get popped in a blender to be redistributed BY THE FANS THEMSELVES. That's right, crowd participation. I was going to say there would be some failsafes to make sure a correct number of each position ended up on every team, but fuck it - let the fans decide. All goalie squad? Here they come. Depth players ONLY? Yep. Team full of star forwards who can skate super fast and shoot a lot? Yes, definitely, that's going to be some absolute FIRE hockey to watch. Team made up of the hottest players? Yep. Team of only queer players? There might be enough for a roster, so why not? This is a winning idea and absolutely nothing could go wrong.

15. E. (1 tpe)

I would rather get a nice long hug from Teddy Cuddles bc the rest of the options are bad. The pepperoni thing is def cannibalism so no, it'd be a bit creepy to have to see Tor and Tommy Tuck EVERY night, I don't care to compare my squat abilities to those of Hugh Jazz, and I don't like to unrepentantly ruin everyone else's fun, so the Aaron Wilson thing is right out.

18. (3 tpe) - submitted answers

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