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BrewskyBoy · 01-13-2020, 05:25 PM

Quote:3. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)
The two finals teams have decided to team up for a fundraising opportunity to benefit both cities. What noble cause will the teams decide to benefit? What sort of fundraiser will the teams hold together? How will the two teams mesh before the finals start?

The teams of Edmonton and Hamilton decided to team up and raise money for The Human Fund of Canada. This is a charitable organization that provides money to residents of Canada who are in most need, and even those who aren't really in need but receive money just for being human. One of the main events for this fundraiser is a dinner party. Attendees for the party will pay exorbitant amounts of money for tickets to dine on authentic Canadian cuisine. Guests will be seated at tables with at least 1 player from either the Edmonton Blizzard or the Hamilton Steelhawks. Immediately following the dinner, an auction will be held raffling off game worn team apparel, game day packages, and much more. The bar will remain open after the auction until midnight, where drinks will be served at double the normal cost. All benefits from the event will go directly to the humans of Canada.

Quote:4. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)
Pretend that your team has hit an injury bug - the roster is so depleted that your coach is asking you to play out of position. What position is your coach asking you to play and what about your player build will help you be successful in this new role?

If coach decided to play me at another position, I could see myself being thrown in at one of two positions. The first potential position is as a grind-line winger. My punishing, physical defensive playstyle is ideal to play on a more defensive forward line to go with my puckhandling and skating abilities. I would not be scoring many goals and I certainly wouldn't be seeing any time on the power play, but my passing ability would be enough to keep my head above water. I'm sure I would see plenty of time on the penalty kill as well. Many may not know this, but I'm actually slated as an emergency goaltender for the club. I played goaltender when I was younger and have lived my whole life just trying to put my body in front of pucks and stopping the opposing team from scoring. I hope to never need to take the net in the SHL, but I am prepared if the time ever comes.

Quote:5. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)
The Most Generic Prompt of All Time - what is your player looking forward to in the offseason? What are they planning on doing? Training? Relaxing? Testing free agency? Whatever it is, let us know!

Well after the extended offseason last year, I definitely felt like I started the season extremely slow. It took me nearly a third of the season just to find my stride that I had developed in my rookie season, and that simply can not happen again. I spent too much of the offseason last year lying around and not training nearly hard enough. This offseason I plan to be much more active and hitting either the training ice or the weight room much more frequently. I also need to take more advantage of the state of Texas this offseason. Last year was my first year living down south so I really didn't know what to do. This time around though I am fully prepared and have laid out a full list of things to do during the offseason. Whether or not I'll have time to accomplish my whole list is another story, but I certainly won't run out of things to do this time around.

Quote:6. Written, 2 TPE (100 words min)
Which player from Hamilton or Edmonton would you bet on to win a regular season individual award in a future season? What player and what award? What makes you think they'll live up to their potential and take home the hardware?

I'd be willing to bet that Barrett Blackwood will be taking home some silverware at some point in his career. I can't say for sure which of the awards he'll take home, but I had the chance to play with Blackwood for two seasons back in St. Louis while we were still in the SMJHL. Blackwood was an outstanding player to skate alongside and he really meshed well with whoever he was lined up with. If I remember correctly, he set scoring records on the Scarecrows or at least came very close. I could very easily see him becoming a leader for Edmonton now and for many years to come, and he'll almost certainly become a household name among the SHL.

Quote:16. Written, 2 TPE - The Procrastinator Special! (100 words min)
Welp, you waited until the last day to grind out your CW and the CC finals are longggggggg over by now. congrats to [TEAM], woo! Reflecting back on the series, who gets your vote for series MVP? Make the case why this player deserves it over any other.

Series MVP for me has to be Geezus Kryyst and it's not even close. He was stellar all postseason long and I don't think Hamilton rattles off 4 straight wins without his performance in the crease. No matter how strong your offense is or how cheap your tactics of loading up on shooters is, you simply can not win in this league without a strong goaltender behind everybody. Kryyst made huge saves all series long that could have easily swung the momentum in Edmonton's favor, but he hung tight back there and came up big time and time again. Without Kryyst, we might be looking at a completely different series.

Quote:18. Casual Member Special, 3 TPE max - 1 TPE for participation, 0.5 TPE for each correct answer - SEND ANSWER IN PM TO "PT DIRECTOR" (tagged below)
A. In which season did the Hamilton Steelhawks last win the Challenge Cup?
B. Name a player who has won the Anton Razov trophy while playing for the Edmonton Blizzard
C. Which Edmonton Blizzard player famously has a cow as their player render?
D. Of the 18 skaters on Hamilton's playoff roster, how many of them have a Passing rating higher than their Scoring rating?

**Important**: Send the answers to username "PT Director" with the subject of the message titled “S51 CW" - Do not send it to my personal account; those will not be graded. Do not post the answers in here; you will not get credit for the task.

Answers submitted to PT Director

3 + 3 + 3 + 2 + 2 + 3 = 16 TPE

Slappydoodle · 01-13-2020, 05:53 PM

Task 1

Otis B. Driftwood, upon receiving an invitation to attend games 1 and 2 in Edmonton for this season’s Challenge Cup Finals, saw an opportunity. Driftwood is a man of great appetites, for food, wine, women (and maybe an occasional guy after enough drinks) and song. This invitation, on the Head Office’s dime, was the means to debauchery on a scale unforeseen for some time.

Upon arriving at the luxurious Fairmont Hotel and checking into his penthouse suite, Otis started making calls. The first call was to the concierge with a list of requests. Soon high end bottles of alcohol started being carted up by bellboys along with various mixers and a full complement of specialty glasses and shakers. Platters of foie gras, caviar, oysters, cheese and fresh sushi arrived by the cartload.

The next call was to a local strip club. An arrangement was made, charged to the suite of course, and soon all the ladies were showing up ready to party. The concierge was able to put Otis in contact with a local procurer of illicit substances who sent over a few eight balls of blow, a sheet of acid and a few ounces of some killer weed. Otis called up a few local friends with some time on their hands and a desire to experience life.

Well long story short, Otis never saw one second of a hockey game while in town. In fact he never left the suite for four days. The SHL commissioner was later aghast when receiving a seventy five thousand dollar bill from the Fairmont.

Task 2

Reality is a malleable term. most people’s minds cannot conceive of the multiverse, an infinite number of worlds. This means that literally everything is true somewhere. There is a world where the Buffalo Stampede and the Calgary Dragons get together for weekly orgies in a huge tub of pudding. There is a world where the entire Hamilton roster are connected ass to mouth like a giant human centipede.

In one world the Calgary Dragons made the Challenge Cup finals against the West Kendall Platoon. It was however, the West Kendall Platoon of our season 30 when Slappy McDoodle was the first line center and a defensive superstud. This led to a monumental collision when Slappy McDoodle was skating full speed down the ice with the puck. Otis B. Driftwood was waiting at the blue line to pick him up. When the two large men met, there was a collision. This collision was so monumental, the very Earth shook. The arena could not handle the stress. The roof fell in and crushed all the spectators.

It was a horror.

Task 7

No doubt the SHL is flagging in popularity at the moment. Something is needed to spark a renewal of love for the league. Fortunately the recent town hall discussion developed a full complement of tools for the job.

First off, a public burning of Hamilton Steelhawks management. Hallsy, Aaron Wilson, Drunken Teddy and whoever else is determined to have been involved in the attempt to destroy the league will be taken out of their homes, brought to a public square, chained to posts atop re-made cairns of gasoline soaked wood and set ablaze. Families will gather to roast marshmallows and enjoy some wholesome family fun watching the accursed management group burn.

Second thought would be topless ice dancers for each team. These lovely ladies would skate out during timeouts and in between periods to entertain the crowd. Wholesome fun for the whole family.

The third and final suggestion passed up the line is dollar beer night once a month at each rink. Allhockey fans like beer. It’s a no-brainer.

Task 14

2 man 4 tpe https://soundcloud.com/slappydoodle/cw-s51-bsh

Task 18
Pm sent

Massive Coiler · 01-13-2020, 06:12 PM

1. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)
VIP Status again babyyyyyyyy - your player has been invited to attend one of the first homestands of the CC finals as a VIP guest - all expenses paid, front row seats, any hotel you want - and it's all on the Commissioner's dime! Eggy has complained to me the past two seasons about having to pay for this so I'm graciously volunteering SDCore to front the costs for this season's splurge! Are you going to Games 1 and 2 in Edmonton or Games 3 and 4 in Hamilton? Why are you picking there? And what are you going to do in that city to run up SD's tab?? (This is the same prompt as in the past but we've got different cities! be creative! Don't re-use what was written last season.)

Oh goodie. Vacation in Edmonton or Hamilton? I guess I’m going to Edmonton, because the coin landed on heads. While this vacation in my own country may not have been the one I was hoping for this year, I am always happy to spend some corporate money. And to find out that my own junior team’s (co) GM is forking over the dough for this one, now that’s the real treat that makes it all worth it. I think I’ll be hitting that mall I’ve heard so much about, and going through each and every store there during the days of the trip during games 1 and 2. I might find some other things to do, but the plan now is to buy every single thing that I definitely don’t need that I can find in one of the continents premier bulk purchasing centres. Thank you to “Not JNH” for covering my trip, I appreciate it, and this will serve as a great send off for my service in Lethbridge over the last 4 seasons.

2. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)
Alternate Reality: Physicists and other smarties believe that this reality is just one of infinite realities existing alongside this one in parallel. Take us over to one of those realities in which everything is the same but these S51 playoffs have unfolded differently. What happened in that reality's playoffs and who's in the Challenge Cup over there?

There may very well be a reality out there where Delver Fudgeson developed at a pace that could have made him usable in the SHL before this upcoming season. If that’s the case, then this super athlete, with a slap shot over over 115 mph would have already been on the New England Wolfpack. The team had trouble living up to their own expectations over the last couple seasons, and Alternate Fudgeson could have helped them out them. In this reality, Fudgeson and Bitties could have been a super pair together. Providing enough offense for the whole team and allowing quite possibly record breaking low shots against at the same time. If this absolute mutant freak from an alternate reality is out there, you’d better believe New England would have made the playoffs and won the championship. Unfortunately the world we’re stuck in just has regular old Delver, who is now just preparing to make the jump to the SHL.

4. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)
Pretend that your team has hit an injury bug - the roster is so depleted that your coach is asking you to play out of position. What position is your coach asking you to play and what about your player build will help you be successful in this new role?

I like to think that I am a fairly versatile player, very capable and balanced in my skills. In becoming a shoot first defender, in the SMJHL I have managed to have great offensive success, while trying to be as responsible as possible in my own zone. As a strong puck mover, I feel like I could be an effective forward if need be. If I needed to, due to injury or what have you, I think I would make a good winger. I think I would be able to still be responsible defensively, however I may be put into an even better position to put up offensive numbers. If I were to be placed on the left wing on the power play, my shot would be able to be used to the team’s advantage. I could probably move a lot easier on the right wing as a right handed shooter, but on the power play left side, I think I could do some serious damage.

5. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)
The Most Generic Prompt of All Time - what is your player looking forward to in the offseason? What are they planning on doing? Training? Relaxing? Testing free agency? Whatever it is, let us know!

Delver Fudgeson, after 4 seasons in the SMJHL playing for the Lethbridge Lions, is finally making his jump to the big times. Drafted by the New England Wolf Pack 3 seasons prior, he is now making his final offseason push towards achieving his final goal of playing in the SHL. So much of this offseason is going into training, specifically, making sure that Delver is ready to play defense and understand the game being played at the fastest and highest level. A huge amount of work right now is all mental. There isn’t a lot of physical changes one can go over in a single offseason, but there is a lot to work it in a young athlete’s mind. Delver is going from being the captain, and leading scorer of a team where he always felt valued and appreciated, to a team where so much is unknown. He will need to fight for ice time and work hard to improve and get his game to an entire new level.

15. Written, up to 5 TPE Pick up to 5 Challenge Cup related topics to write about! Each topic is worth 1 TPE. Each answer must be 50+ words to qualify.
A. Tommy Tuck posted a better SV% during the regular season, but Geezus Kryyst has been lights out during the playoffs. Which team has the advantage in goal for this series?
B. Edmonton averages more hits per game than Hamilton, but also more PIMs - and Hamilton has proven pretty deadly on the power play this postseason while the Blizzard's PK has struggled. Be the coach: should Edmonton stick to a physical style of play or back off a bit in this series?
D. Which player name is your favorite from the rosters of these two teams? (not your favorite player, but your favorite name)
E. WOULD YOU RATHER: (a) eat a Pepperoni pizza with Tony Pepperoni (debatably cannibalism), (b) get a nice long hug from Teddy Cuddles, © have Tor and Tommy Tuck tuck you into bed at night, (d) do squats with Hugh Jazz, (e) have a tug of war with Tig, or (f) have Aaron Wilson uncover a brand new strategy for your team to use? Why?

A: Tommy Tuck has the advantage for sure. This guy’s name is enough to strike fear into the hearts of anyone, and while a hot goalie can win a team a championship, you can’t bet against the guy with the larger sample size. I think he’s gonna come up clutch and show everyone what he’s made of.

B: Edmonton could play it safe by trying to play a nice clean game and stay out of the box, but penalties happen, whether malicious or a simple stick infraction. Edmonton needs to play to their strengths, which will include physical play. You can’t shy away from it now, in the finals after it has helped the team get where they are today.

D: Tommy Tuck. As stated in answer A, Tommy Tuck has a name that strikes fear into the hearts of those who are assigned to try to put the puck past him. I don’t know about you, but I wouldn’t want to score on a guy named Tommy Tuck. He is for sure going to be waiting in the parking lot for you with his goons after the game, and you’re never gonna score on anyone again. So I think it’s probably wise to aim a little high and wide on purpose against this guy. What a name.

E. Not really meant in a negative way, but I’ve probably had enough time with Hugh Jazz after our brief stint as teammates in Lethbridge, so I’ll go with someone new. I’m thinking Tony Pepperoni has got to be the choice here. This guy has a killer name (runner up in the series, even) and he knows how to snipe. He’s an all time SHLer and one of the league’s best. And he does it all with one of the most clutch names to ever hit the show.

Total 16

*Tomen* · 01-13-2020, 06:47 PM

1. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)
VIP Status again babyyyyyyyy - your player has been invited to attend one of the first homestands of the CC finals as a VIP guest - all expenses paid, front row seats, any hotel you want - and it's all on the Commissioner's dime! Eggy has complained to me the past two seasons about having to pay for this so I'm graciously volunteering SDCore to front the costs for this season's splurge! Are you going to Games 1 and 2 in Edmonton or Games 3 and 4 in Hamilton? Why are you picking there? And what are you going to do in that city to run up SD's tab?? (This is the same prompt as in the past but we've got different cities! be creative! Don't re-use what was written last season.)

I will definitely go to the beautiful city of Hamilton for the Game 3 of the Challenge Cup Finals. Even though Hamilton is quite often in the shadow of the biggest city in the greater Toronto area there are still quite a few things one can do here to have a great night out. These are the first Challenge Cup Finals since 22 years which means some players haven't even been born the last time the Steelhawks were in the finals or were even able to life the Challenge Cup. All these facts should help towards a great time in the Steelhawks arena with quite passionate fans even tho there are rumors circling around that the Hamilton players are under influence of a substance that is great enhancing their shooting offensive abilities. As for running up the tab I'll go to the Shaolin Underground bar in the center of Hamilton and get myself some drinks with the enthusiastic Hamilton fans and either drown their tears with some drinks or chime in the happy times of a win at their hometown in the Cup finals.

Code:
2. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)
Alternate Reality: Physicists and other smarties believe that this reality is just one of infinite realities existing alongside this one in parallel. Take us over to one of those realities in which everything is the same but these S51 playoffs have unfolded differently. What happened in that reality's playoffs and who's in the Challenge Cup over there?

In my alternate reality two teams that have been swept in the real Challenge Cup playoffs managed to barely win their respective series in OT of their game 7. Those two teams also managed to come out victorious in their conference battles against the Edmonton Blizzard and the Manhattan Rage by the skin of their skin. Both series were a hard fought game 7 win again due to the stellar performance of both S43 drafted goalies. Those goalies finally face each other again after countless battle in the SMJHL as well as the S46 Challenge Cup finals in which the Buffalo Stampede won in 7 games against the New Orleans Specters. Now we finally get to see the long awaited rematch of that final series. Buffalo struggles to get going and is down 0-2 in the series with the Spectres winning both games at home. Buffalo manages to come back in game 3 with a decisive 2 to 0 win lead by goal from Hippo Passamus as well as oldie Alexis Metzler. Game 4 and 5 also will be won by Buffalo who managed to turn the tides and be in the series lead for now but the Specters managed to force a game 7 which goes scoreless until Eric Vanderberg scored the game winning goal just 2 minutes before the start of OT.

Code:
4. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)
Pretend that your team has hit an injury bug - the roster is so depleted that your coach is asking you to play out of position. What position is your coach asking you to play and what about your player build will help you be successful in this new role?

Alexander was asked by the Buffalo Stampede Coach to help out on defense even though the Stampede are quite deep there. Due to his big frame tho with a height of 6 feet and 10 inches as well as his weight of 280 pounds one would think that Alexander could be quite the intimidating and punishing presence of the defensive side but in reality Alexander is quite the gentle giant and is mostly trying to disrupt the offense with his big reach and intercepting some passes. Due to his excellent defensive skills Alex shouldn't really be a liability in this emergency role some might even say he would even be a better Defender than Forward. Another one of Alex skills that makes this transition less painful is the fact of his excellent Puck Handling skills which should get him out of some quite sticky situations near the boards when a forechecking Forward is real close on him and trying to disrupt the breakout pass.

Code:
5. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)
The Most Generic Prompt of All Time - what is your player looking forward to in the offseason? What are they planning on doing? Training? Relaxing? Testing free agency? Whatever it is, let us know!

As every offseason Alex is looking to go back to the country he was born in as well as the country his family still calls home even after living already 21 years in North America. Alex is looking forward to reconnect with his extended family as well as attending the wedding of the daughter of his cousin which is actually a few years older than him. Who knows what happens but because Alex knows a few of the bridesmaids fairly well since they attended the same school together and went out clubbing the few times he was here over the summer, Alex will definitely shoot his shot since you miss 100% of the shots you don't take. He might get lucky and have a fun time with one of them. Other than this event he will visit the grave of his grandparents and spent some time in the mountains near his hometown to reconnect with the nature.

Code:
9. Written, 1 TPE
Write a haiku about an SHL-related topic. Be sure to follow the 3 line, 5-7-5 syllable structure or Godzilla will stomp on your house/apartment while you sleep.
HAIKU: https://poets.org/glossary/haiku

This was quite the fun
but Hamilton disagreed
and ruined it all

Code:
18. Casual Member Special, 3 TPE max - 1 TPE for participation, 0.5 TPE for each correct answer - SEND ANSWER IN PM TO "PT DIRECTOR" (tagged below)
A. In which season did the Hamilton Steelhawks last win the Challenge Cup?
B. Name a player who has won the Anton Razov trophy while playing for the Edmonton Blizzard
C. Which Edmonton Blizzard player famously has a cow as their player render?
D. Of the 18 skaters on Hamilton's playoff roster, how many of them have a Passing rating higher than their Scoring rating?

**Important**: Send the answers to username "PT Director" with the subject of the message titled “S51 CW" - Do not send it to my personal account; those will not be graded. Do not post the answers in here; you will not get credit for the task.

Sent

Thank you all for the amazing sigs & player cards
Germany

3. Buffalo Stampede , Eduard Selich 5 (Maximilian Wachter, Alexis Metzler) at 16:25
5. Buffalo Stampede , Eduard Selich 6 (Steven Stamkos Jr., Brynjar Tusk) at 19:48
8. Buffalo Stampede , Eduard Selich 7 (Brynjar Tusk, Alexis Metzler) at 13:55
9. Buffalo Stampede , Eduard Selich 8 (Anton Fedorov, Mikelis Grundmanis) at 15:12
10. Buffalo Stampede , Eduard Selich 9 (Dickie Pecker) at 19:43 (Empty Net)

Keygan · 01-13-2020, 07:52 PM

Code:
8. Written, 4 TPE

Write a sonnet about an SHL-related topic. Be sure to follow the proper ABAB-CDCD-EFEF-GG rhyme structure or your HS English (or equivalent any-language Writing teacher) will track you down in and give you a failing grade.

While Edmonton rests at home weary from the finals
Their families are joyful for their time away from the arena
They may have won it all but Hamilton has us all feeling homicidal.
If their roster members are not careful with their threats they will all receive subpoenas.

Our seasons was cut short due to high frequency shooting
and a goalie red hot as the sun in mid June.
The purity of the Championship they are surely diluting.
Our timing of our finals trip felt awfully inopportune.

But alas while it is over we had so much fun
Our focus now turns way to the draft, it will be so hectic.
Until it is finished, until it is done.
Our plan set in motion feels so darn eclectic.

So long as we're family, we'll never be defeated
Edmonton lives on even if we feel cheated.

Code:
18. Casual Member Special, 3 TPE max - 1 TPE for participation, 0.5 TPE for each correct answer - SEND ANSWER IN PM TO "PT DIRECTOR" (tagged below)

A. In which season did the Hamilton Steelhawks last win the Challenge Cup?

B. Name a player who has won the Anton Razov trophy while playing for the Edmonton Blizzard

C. Which Edmonton Blizzard player famously has a cow as their player render?

D. Of the 18 skaters on Hamilton's playoff roster, how many of them have a Passing rating higher than their Scoring rating?

Sent

Code:
Welfare

Welfare

Code:
Haiku

Edmonton Blizzard are best
They are the rightful champions
Thankfully people agree

Code:
15. Written, up to 5 TPE Pick up to 5 Challenge Cup related topics to write about! Each topic is worth 1 TPE. Each answer must be 50+ words to qualify.

A. Tommy Tuck posted a better SV% during the regular season, but Geezus Kryyst has been lights out during the playoffs. Which team has the advantage in goal for this series?

Tommy Tuck has been there and done that when it comes to the finals and for that reason and that reason alone he will definitely have the upper hand in regards to the battle of the creases. He is a soon to be three time Mike Honcho and John McBride winner, what else could you ask for in net?

B. Edmonton averages more hits per game than Hamilton, but also more PIMs - and Hamilton has proven pretty deadly on the power play this postseason while the Blizzard's PK has struggled. Be the coach: should Edmonton stick to a physical style of play or back off a bit in this series?

Edmonton won the second most games of any team in the entire league running a physical playstyle and it would behoove them to suddenly change their gameplan just because their team is playing against a team with a great power play, it would be incredibly silly for the coach to change the way they play hockey in Edmonton.

C. Who is your X-factor skater in this series? Who's got the intangibles? Who's gonna step up for their team when it matters most? Why do you think so?

Julio Tokolosh is a cow on a mission in these finals and I fully expect him to be a bovine unleashed in the finals, a bull that has seen red rather. If he scores less than 7 points in the first four games I'd be exceptionally disappointed, he has all the intangibles of the best hockey player the world has ever seen.

D. Which player name is your favorite from the rosters of these two teams? (not your favorite player, but your favorite name)

Julio Tokolosh because of the backstory behind the players name that I have heard, it has without a doubt the most elaborate and well written backstory of arguably any name on the entire site, Tokoloshe is an African water demon that would drown you if you disobeyed it, hence why Julio is a menace on the ice.

E. WOULD YOU RATHER: (a) eat a Pepperoni pizza with Tony Pepperoni (debatably cannibalism), (b) get a nice long hug from Teddy Cuddles, (c) have Tor and Tommy Tuck tuck you into bed at night, (d) do squats with Hugh Jazz, (e) have a tug of war with Tig, or (f) have Aaron Wilson uncover a brand new strategy for your team to use? Why?

I would choose to get tucked in by the Tucks seeing as ErM and Muford have been friends with me for quite a while it would be nice to be able to spend time with them in person and forcing them to tuck me in would provide the perfect opportunity to spend time with not one but both.

***HoltzFan10*** · 01-13-2020, 08:06 PM

9. Written, 1 TPE
Write a haiku about an SHL-related topic. Be sure to follow the 3 line, 5-7-5 syllable structure or Godzilla will stomp on your house/apartment while you sleep.
--

Blue has three McBrides
Blue is happy about that
Blue can't wait for #4
----
18: done!

MrStennett · 01-13-2020, 08:43 PM

Code:
4. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)

Pretend that your team has hit an injury bug - the roster is so depleted that your coach is asking you to play out of position. What position is your coach asking you to play and what about your player build will help you be successful in this new role?

My coach is asking me to step into goal because the illustrious Tommy Tuck ate a bad sandwich definitely not in the shower and got food poisoning. I believe I would be successful in this endeavor because of a few of my statistical abilities. Firstly, I have a defense rating of 90, meaning I'm constantly looking for ways to cut off the puck or block a shot when I'm out on the ice regardless. Isn't that basically the prime job of the goaltender? Secondly, my strength is 70, so I would have a solid ability to hold off those guys trying to poke the puck in when play gets close to the net. Finally, I have a puck handling rating of 81 and passing rating of 82, meaning that I feel I could be successful coming out of the net to play the puck and making a quick pass to the right teammate up the ice. For all of these reasons, I believe that I would be the correct emergency replacement for Tommy. 173 words

Code:
5. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)

The Most Generic Prompt of All Time - what is your player looking forward to in the offseason? What are they planning on doing? Training? Relaxing? Testing free agency? Whatever it is, let us know!

Barrett Blackwood is planning on going home to Minnesota during the offseason and spending some quality time with his family and friends. Now, he could take the almost eighteen hour drive home from Edmonton, but a nonstop flight is less than three hours and since he's a professional athlete, he's got the money for one round trip ticket. It'll be a great time to relax and unwind, but he can also get a bit of skating in as well. I mean, it is Minnesota after all. There are ice rinks around. Two of his cousins play hockey for the University of Minnesota Golden Gopher hockey team, and he always enjoys spending some time skating and drilling with them. Other than that, he spends a lot of time on his parents farm catching up with them and helping out whenever possible. Baling hay and wrestling large pigs onto vehicle trailers unsurprisingly makes for excellent strength training. 155 words

Code:
6. Written, 2 TPE (100 words min)

Which player from Hamilton or Edmonton would you bet on to win a regular season individual award in a future season? What player and what award? What makes you think they'll live up to their potential and take home the hardware?

I definitely think Tor Tuck will win the Ron Mexico Trophy. I feel like he should probably win it this season, but if he doesn't, allow this season to show exactly what Tuck is capable of on the ice. Tuck managed to accrue sixty points this past season, one of only seven players in the league to do so, and the only defenseman on that list. He netted double digit goals and led the entire SHL in assists on the season. He was also top ten in the league in points per twenty, power play goals, and plus/minus. The point being: Tuck is not only a really good defenseman, but one of the league's best players and deserves to be recognized as such. 124 words

Code:
8. Written, 4 TPE

Write a sonnet about an SHL-related topic. Be sure to follow the proper ABAB-CDCD-EFEF-GG rhyme structure or your HS English (or equivalent any-language Writing teacher) will track you down in and give you a failing grade.

Sir Blackwood took a plane to Hamilton
Heavy his eyes when the plane did touch down
Early the next morn came the rising sun
On bus did Blizzard teammates head to town

This is the final game the coach did cry
Forget what came before and give your best
Out of the locker room the team did fly
To face what would become their steepest test

Hard fought the game would be from end to end
But only one team could take home the cup
The games' result would not fractured league mend
As birds of steel did hoist the trophy up

Let Blackwood's tale to you a lesson be
Shoot more, pass less and win a cup for free

Code:
9. Written, 1 TPE

Write a haiku about an SHL-related topic. Be sure to follow the 3 line, 5-7-5 syllable structure or Godzilla will stomp on your house/apartment while you sleep.

Blackwood hates Steelhawks
Stolen second Challenge Cup
Edmonton weeps hard

18. MESSAGE SENT

jtwilson1214 · 01-13-2020, 08:58 PM

1. This choice feels a lot more difficult than last year. One because the cities are a little bit of a different scene than say Miami last year. But two, because if my GM SD is footing the bill, I maybe have to be a little more responsible with my usage of his money....or not. I think if it comes down to it I'm gonna have to go to Edmonton. Being an ignorant American I can't say I know very much about either of the cities. I've heard some people say Edmonton is a little like Siberia which doesn't exactly make me jump for joy. I do know Edmonton has a very big mall though, I'm sure I can figure out a good way to burn SD's money there. Also if I'm gonna be in Edmonton I may as well use it as an opportunity to see the action movie on ice Connor McDavid.

2. In this alternate reality, things really went off the wall. Firstly, time travel was discovered right before the start of S51. The owner of Toronto is outed to be a high ranking member of the Russian mob. He uses his vast resources to capture the talent of the 1980 Soviet Olympic team, a la Space Jam. He brings the talent back to the SHL and releases it to the players in Toronto. The only words he says all season is one phrase..."Must beat Hamilton". As expected, Toronto dominates every team they face during the regular season, except splitting a hard-fought series with Hamilton. In the end, the Russians are no match for the pure shooting ability of Hamilton and fall 4-1 in the finals.

raymond3000 · 01-13-2020, 09:07 PM

Code:
2. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)

Alternate Reality: Physicists and other smarties believe that this reality is just one of infinite realities existing alongside this one in parallel. Take us over to one of those realities in which everything is the same but these S51 playoffs have unfolded differently. What happened in that reality's playoffs and who's in the Challenge Cup over there?

Prior to the start of the S51 SHL Playoffs, the hockey world was shook as the SHL Head Office announced that the Hamilton Steelhawks would be barred from the post-season for widespread, team-sponsored doping. The Hamilton Steelhawks had surpised everyone during the regular season by finishing first in the Eastern Conference. With the Steelhawks out of the playoffs, the Platoon, who had finished in 5th place, originally missing out on the postseason on a tiebreaker, made it to the wild card round. The Platoon made good on their second chance, as swept the Barracuda to advance to the second round. Their hot streak continued, handily beating the Manhattan Rage and the Chicago Syndicate to advance to the Challenge Cup Finals, where they faced off against the Edmonton Blizzard. This was a tight fought series, but the cinderella story continued for the Platoon, as they went on the win the S51 Challenge Cup in seven games.

Code:
4. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)

Pretend that your team has hit an injury bug - the roster is so depleted that your coach is asking you to play out of position. What position is your coach asking you to play and what about your player build will help you be successful in this new role?

The Renegaades unfortunately are hit by a bevy of injuries and lose several key players, most of whom are blue liners. Needing capable bodies on defense, the Texas coach asked star forward Andreas Kvalheim to switch to defense to help out the team. Kvalheim is a logical choice, as he is one of the best two-way players in the league, having won the Jeff Dar Trophy as the league's top two-way forward in S50. His defensive game and work rate is among the best in the game, and should be able to capably fill in on the blue line. Kvalheim also is a willing and skilled checker, able to separate the puck from opposing players. Where Kvalheim may struggle however is during board battles, and his strength is not the best compared to other players. He may get muscled off the puck easily and may struggle to win the puck back down low along the boards.

Code:
5. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)

The Most Generic Prompt of All Time - what is your player looking forward to in the offseason? What are they planning on doing? Training? Relaxing? Testing free agency? Whatever it is, let us know!

Andreas Kvalheim was extremely unsatisfied with how his S51 season and is planning on training harder than ever during this offseason. Coming off a a breakthough year in S50 where he put uup 49 points and won the Dar Trophy, his play regressed in S51, putting up fewer points and fewer hits. As the Renegades missed the playoffs by only 3 points, they cleary could have snuck into the postseason if Kvalheim had a more productive season. As evidenced by the Hamilton Steelhawks winning the Challenge Cup, shooting is critical in the SHL, and Kvalheim plans to spend most of his time working on his shot, improving both his accuracy and his power. He is also working on changing up his release, making it quicker and smoother in order to make it more difficult for opposing goalies to track and predict his shot. Lastly, he is working on his one-timer, as he wants to increase his powerplay production in the future.

Code:
9. Written, 1 TPE

Write a haiku about an SHL-related topic. Be sure to follow the 3 line, 5-7-5 syllable structure or Godzilla will stomp on your house/apartment while you sleep

Fifty one seasons,
Simon T. has served us well,
But now we move on.

Code:
15. Written, up to 5 TPE Pick up to 5 Challenge Cup related topics to write about! Each topic is worth 1 TPE. Each answer must be 50+ words to qualify.

A. Tommy Tuck posted a better SV% during the regular season, but Geezus Kryyst has been lights out during the playoffs. Which team has the advantage in goal for this series?
The Edmonton Blizzard have the advantage in net during these Challenge Cup Finals. When he's on his game, there is no goaltender in the world better than Tommy Tuck. His resume and awards case speak for themselves. Geezus Kryyst is no slouch either, but he's not an elite goaltender the way that Tommy Tuck is.

B. Edmonton averages more hits per game than Hamilton, but also more PIMs - and Hamilton has proven pretty deadly on the power play this postseason while the Blizzard's PK has struggled. Be the coach: should Edmonton stick to a physical style of play or back off a bit in this series?[/code]
Edmonton should stick to their more physical style of game. That style has gottem them past good teams in the Dragons and the Panthers, and there is no reason for them to deviate from their game plan which has worked so well thus far. If anything, Edmonton should work on their penalty kill to stop the Hawks' hot power play

C. Who is your X-factor skater in this series? Who's got the intangibles? Who's gonna step up for their team when it matters most? Why do you think so?
My x-factor for these Challenge Cup Finals is Louie Garrett of the Hamilton Steelhawks. Garrett isn't the elite superstar he used to be, but the veteran still has some gas in the tank and you know he'll show up in the big games for the Steelhawks. Garrett probably doesn't have too many seasons left, so he'll give it his all to win the series.

Code:
18. Casual Member Special, 3 TPE max - 1 TPE for participation, 0.5 TPE for each correct answer - SEND ANSWER IN PM TO "PT DIRECTOR" (tagged below)

A. In which season did the Hamilton Steelhawks last win the Challenge Cup?

B. Name a player who has won the Anton Razov trophy while playing for the Edmonton Blizzard

C. Which Edmonton Blizzard player famously has a cow as their player render?

D. Of the 18 skaters on Hamilton's playoff roster, how many of them have a Passing rating higher than their Scoring rating?

SENT

FuzzSHL · 01-13-2020, 09:13 PM

Quote:2. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)
Alternate Reality: Physicists and other smarties believe that this reality is just one of infinite realities existing alongside this one in parallel. Take us over to one of those realities in which everything is the same but these S51 playoffs have unfolded differently. What happened in that reality's playoffs and who's in the Challenge Cup over there?

In this alternate reality, the expected happened. The series between New Orleans and Los Angeles saw the Specters end the series in 5 games instead of the Panthers managing the upset. Manhattan swept Chicago while Buffalo took Hamilton to 7. The New Orleans-Edmonton conference final was the series of focus as Hamilton cheesed their way past Manhattan in the East. New Orleans, backed by standout goaltender Aleister Cain won the West in 7, setting up a final where the site was split into two groups: those who supported the expansion Specters in a fight against evil, and those who were blinded with the thought that everyone would have done the same as Hamilton in their position. In the end, the lesser of the two evils prevailed and the cheese platter was promptly tossed in 4 games. Aleister Cain wins Playoff MVP and TDZ finally gets a taste of hardware that matters. All is right in the world of SHL.

Quote:4. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)
Pretend that your team has hit an injury bug - the roster is so depleted that your coach is asking you to play out of position. What position is your coach asking you to play and what about your player build will help you be successful in this new role?

In another weird alternate reality, the New Orleans Specters hit what is undoubtedly the worst injury bug the team has ever seen. Already somewhat depleted on defense, a recent spree of retirings and career-ending injuries has left the team with no choice but to ask one if its players to make the switch to defense. With other stronger players in the top-6, Michael Fox was the chosen one to make this switch. Fox is a player with strengths in key parts of his game that makes this switch that much easier. Fox was and is a gifted skater, something that makes playing defense that much easier. You can see this in Fox's play throughout his SHL career so far. In his rookie season he was only a -8, which wasn't fantastic by any metric, but it isn't bad for a rookie. His next three seasons though? +3, +27, +13. Fox has been extremely reliable in his own end.

Quote:5. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)
The Most Generic Prompt of All Time - what is your player looking forward to in the offseason? What are they planning on doing? Training? Relaxing? Testing free agency? Whatever it is, let us know!

Michael Fox was expecting big things this past season. Following his first 30 point season in which he led the league in +/-, Fox was expecting himself to take another step forward in terms of production. Confidence was at an all-time high and, admittedly, Fox began to become a little bit complacent. It is easy to get complacent when things are going well, and Fox lost a little bit of focus on the things that mattered. This offseason, Fox has set up the toughest workout regimen in his career. "I've let things slip this past season and I've gotten to a point where I've fallen behind where I need to be. This offseason I know I won't be able to completely catch back up, but getting a step back in the right direction will be key in helping get New Orleans over that playoff hump." Keep an eye out for Fox this season as the loss of Czerkawski should open a spot for Fox to really break through.

Quote:7. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)
The SHL, trying to re-extend popularity among a fan base whose numbers have diminished this quarter, is hosting a town hall think tank right before the finals. It is a well-attended event, and many come forward with ideas to reinvigorate the league. What are some ways the SHL can re-ignite that flame with fans and soar to new heights of popularity? (don't you dare write about sim engines here, pretend this is a real life hockey league and answer it that way lol)

Here's the thing: the league has a lot more issues than just the engine. Thankfully the engine is being changed and we'll all be able to make our players actually how we want to amke them, but that's beside the point. One issue that I'm surprised hasn't been changed yet is the playoff format. In the SHL, 10 out of the 16 teams make the playoffs. I get it, you want playoffs to mean something but you don't want to leave too many people out. Here's the thing. A 10-team playoff just doesn't make sense. My proposal would actually bring more teams into the playoffs. I would suggest for the SHL a 12-team playoff, mimicking that of the NFL's playoff format. In the SMJHL, I think the playoffs need to mean something again. Instead of all 10 teams (or 12 if expansion goes through) making the playoffs, I think we need to shorten it to an 8 team playoff with reseeding. Only 2 teams would miss the playoffs and it would make making the playoffs that much more exciting.

Quote:9. Written, 1 TPE
Write a haiku about an SHL-related topic. Be sure to follow the 3 line, 5-7-5 syllable structure or Godzilla will stomp on your house/apartment while you sleep.

Let's make passing great
'cause Hamilton broke the game
fuck scoring, no shame

Quote:18. Casual Member Special, 3 TPE max - 1 TPE for participation, 0.5 TPE for each correct answer - SEND ANSWER IN PM TO "PT DIRECTOR" (tagged below)
A. In which season did the Hamilton Steelhawks last win the Challenge Cup?
B. Name a player who has won the Anton Razov trophy while playing for the Edmonton Blizzard
C. Which Edmonton Blizzard player famously has a cow as their player render?
D. Of the 18 skaters on Hamilton's playoff roster, how many of them have a Passing rating higher than their Scoring rating?

**Important**: Send the answers to username "PT Director" with the subject of the message titled “S51 CW" - Do not send it to my personal account; those will not be graded. Do not post the answers in here; you will not get credit for the task.

sent

Aleksi Kettu

ztevans · 01-13-2020, 09:18 PM

5. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)
The Most Generic Prompt of All Time - what is your player looking forward to in the offseason? What are they planning on doing? Training? Relaxing? Testing free agency? Whatever it is, let us know!

Nikolai is doing some serious soul-searching in the offseason. After a disappointing season where he scored only 19 points, it’s beginning to look like he will go down as one of the biggest wastes of talent in SHL history. It could also be a transformative year in Tampa, with a management change as well as the potential for some roster shakeup via free agency.

Nikolai has not been short on excuses for his lack of performance in the past. However, those excuses are wearing thin, and so too is his time to live up to the reputation of his Hall of Fame father that he so often claimed he would outperform. The chances of that are long gone, but perhaps Nikolai can still salvage some respectable seasons before his time in the SHL is done.

More importantly, is being “good” good enough for him? Or does his hunger to outrun his parents’ shadows leave him wondering if there is not another way of life? There are plenty of questions and very few answers.

15. Written, up to 5 TPE Pick up to 5 Challenge Cup related topics to write about! Each topic is worth 1 TPE. Each answer must be 50+ words to qualify.

A. Tommy Tuck posted a better SV% during the regular season, but Geezus Kryyst has been lights out during the playoffs. Which team has the advantage in goal for this series?

As I’ve said in CW’s before, it’s hard to bet against Tommy Tuck in a clutch situation. He’s been one of the best goalies when the lights are brightest since Norway’s miracle run in the S38 IIHF Tournament. However, Kryyst’s run of form in this playoff has been truly extraordinary, so you have to say he has the edge in net currently.

B. Edmonton averages more hits per game than Hamilton, but also more PIMs - and Hamilton has proven pretty deadly on the power play this postseason while the Blizzard's PK has struggled. Be the coach: should Edmonton stick to a physical style of play or back off a bit in this series?

ATTACK, ATTACK, ATTACK. NEVER RETREAT. Edmonton should keep the right foot firmly pressed on the throttle of their physical game. It might hurt them in terms of penalties, but at least they’ll get the satisfaction of turnovers as well as taking out some frustration. It is totally worth it, I promise.

D. Which player name is your favorite from the rosters of these two teams? (not your favorite player, but your favorite name)

As far as Finals matchups go, this one is pretty tame in terms of fun player names. I suppose, if forced to choose one, I would select Geezus Kryyst, because of the whole “Geezus saves” bit. That’s cute. I’m mostly still trying to figure out why Julio Tokolosh is a cow.

E. WOULD YOU RATHER: (a) eat a Pepperoni pizza with Tony Pepperoni (debatably cannibalism), (b) get a nice long hug from Teddy Cuddles, © have Tor and Tommy Tuck tuck you into bed at night, (d) do squats with Hugh Jazz, (e) have a tug of war with Tig, or (f) have Aaron Wilson uncover a brand new strategy for your team to use? Why?

I can’t speak for the moral quandary of Tony Pepperoni eating a pepperoni pizza. Only Mr. Pepperoni can answer that question. However, I do love pizza, especially pepperoni pizza. It’s not quite as tasty as, say, a good buffalo chicken pizza. But it’s hard to go wrong with it, so it gets my vote.

18. Done

Waters · 01-13-2020, 09:30 PM

Alternate Reality: Physicists and other smarties believe that this reality is just one of infinite realities existing alongside this one in parallel. Take us over to one of those realities in which everything is the same but these S51 playoffs have unfolded differently. What happened in that reality's playoffs and who's in the Challenge Cup over there? - 3 tpe
In this universe, the Tampa Bay Barracuda defeated the Buffalo Stampede, defeating them in 5 games. They went on to defeat the Steelhawks, facing the Chicago Syndicate. On the other side of the bracket, the Jets ran through the Blizzard, and now face the Dragons in the WCF. Should this alternative universe happen, the Syndicate would have to be considered favorites to win the cup. They are the strongest team left in the bracket, having talent like Corey Kennedy, Cameron Carter II, Jack Kennedy, many Smebs, and The Dude. Tibuk Soonika is a very strong Goaltender, and he can definitely backstop a team to the cup. The other side would have to be the Dragons, who are strong across the board, with 9 30 point scorers. They also boast Kata Vilde, one of the strongest goaltenders in the SHL. This matchup would be an interesting one, pitting the consensus "weaker" expansion team against a legacy squad.

Task 8 -4 tpe
Steelhawks Sonnet

As I speak, cry, even, fly through the depths
I see Skao Anazibf not passing to me
Maybe he'll shoot and then I will not fret
For I'll get the rebound and pot it top cheese

Hugh Jazz is ugly and stupid as well
everyone knows that it's true
we walk in the shower, and Jazz really smells
He's racist and calls me a jew

Myself and Dale Miller are quite close friends
we hang out together and chill
unfortunately I believe he is dead
For I stepped on him against my will

I do love the steelhawks as much as we all do
but sometimes some players are not very cool

15. Written, up to 5 TPE Pick up to 5 Challenge Cup related topics to write about! Each topic is worth 1 TPE. Each answer must be 50+ words to qualify. - 5 tpe
A. Tommy Tuck posted a better SV% during the regular season, but Geezus Kryyst has been lights out during the playoffs. Which team has the advantage in goal for this series?
I believe you have to give Kryyst the advantage in this series. He has been one of the best playoff goalies of all time, he is generally elite even in the regular season. Despite a massive amount of shots faced, he has managed to keep a fantastic save percentage throughout the postseason.
B. Edmonton averages more hits per game than Hamilton, but also more PIMs - and Hamilton has proven pretty deadly on the power play this postseason while the Blizzard's PK has struggled. Be the coach: should Edmonton stick to a physical style of play or back off a bit in this series?
I think Edmonton needs to stay physical to win. If you back down on Hamilton, they will destroy you with an onslaught of shots, but they are very weak physically. If you manage to keep them on their toes, manage to scare them a little, it could do wonders towards improving your chances of winning.
C. Who is your X-factor skater in this series? Who's got the intangibles? Who's gonna step up for their team when it matters most? Why do you think so?
I think Dale Miller is going to be huge for the Hamilton Steelhawks. He's been wonderful so far in the playoffs, coming out of nowhere to contribute hugely for a strong hamilton side. Can he keep it up? and if he doesn't, how will hamilton adjust? I believe Wilson and Phelps have the talent to bring points on their own, but it would be much tougher.
D. Which player name is your favorite from the rosters of these two teams? (not your favorite player, but your favorite name)
The stingray that killed Steve Irwin is easily the best name out of anyone in the series. It's incredible that this stingray not only managed to killed Steve Irwin but also play professional hockey, and him referring to himself as such is a fantastic representation of the higher status he's incurred pre-SHL career.
E. WOULD YOU RATHER: (a) eat a Pepperoni pizza with Tony Pepperoni (debatably cannibalism), (b) get a nice long hug from Teddy Cuddles, © have Tor and Tommy Tuck tuck you into bed at night, (d) do squats with Hugh Jazz, (e) have a tug of war with Tig, or (f) have Aaron Wilson uncover a brand new strategy for your team to use? Why?
I'd love to do squats with Hugh Jazz, as he runs his hands inside my large, girthy thighs, adjusting my wonky form. To help me lower down to the best possible spot, he puts his hands on my thick ass and guides my buttocks towards the proper resting point. I squeal with joy.

18. Casual Member - 3 tpe
sent

Bonk · 01-13-2020, 09:36 PM

Code:
1. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)

It is always nice when Eggy is pick up the travel expenses. Normally Manius uses this as an opportunity for the SHL to pay for night of fine dining and parting in one of the host cities for the Challenge cup. Although this season Lil’ did not feel like having a night of debauchery on Eggy’s dime. This season Manius attended a game played in Edmonton, as there was no way he going to Hamilton besides Edmonton is known as Canada's Festival City. The season Lil’ took this trip with hopes expanding his cultural knowledge. Which meant Manius would visiting some of the nicer museums in the city such as, the Royal Alberta Museum, The Telus World of Science and The Prince of Wales Armouries Heritage Centre to name a few. In addition, Manius attend an Edmonton Eskimos game. Although Manius was a little disappointed that, The TD Edmonton International Jazz Festival did not line up the Challenge Cup Finals.
Words=160

Code:
4. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)

When the injury bug hit the New Orleans Specters and people were looking over the rooters Lil’ Manius name certainly brought memories of Big Manius. So management began asking Lil Manius to spend some time playing defense, as seemed like the right thing to do. Lil’ Manius build seems like a good fit for their defensive plans as he is a very good defense player. Lil’ Physical game would be a decent asset and Management knew that Manius would not allow any forward to establish themselves in front of their net and knew the Aleister Cain would feel comfortable with him there. In addition to the physical game Manius would prove to be a more than serviceable passer from the defensive end of the ice. Granted there were few attribute of Manius game that would be lost with this change in position, such as the lack of taking face-offs, which he has been improving on for the past few seasons.
Words-160

Code:
5. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)

Lil Manius is not looking at the off-season as a time for relaxing. Growing up in the Manius household Lil’ remembers Big’s early morning swims across Lake Winnipeg during the offseason. Therefore, Lil tries to recreate that by swimming along coast in the Gulf of Mexico, as there are not that many decent sizes lakes around New Orleans other than Lake Pontchartrain, which did not look very appealing to Manius. Considering Manius’s years along Lake Winnipeg and the numerous mountain lakes in the Northern Adirondacks, which Manius called home in his youth. Manius in season work out route also in some extensive running around the Big Easy. Lil’s running bring him to various part of the city in including a rundown Bourbon Street, the French Quarter the Ninth Ward and Warehouse District. In addition to his off-season swimming and running Manius, also spend a considerable amount of time on the ice, working on all aspects of his game.
Words=158

Code:
14. 4 TPE Podcast

https://soundcloud.com/slappydoodle/cw-s51-bsh (9 minutes)

Code:
18. Casual Member Special, 3 TPE max - 1 TPE for participation, 0.5 TPE for each correct answer - SEND ANSWER IN PM TO "PT DIRECTOR" (tagged below)

PMed

***sköldpaddor*** · 01-13-2020, 10:00 PM

Quote:1. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)
VIP Status again babyyyyyyyy - your player has been invited to attend one of the first homestands of the CC finals as a VIP guest - all expenses paid, front row seats, any hotel you want - and it's all on the Commissioner's dime! Eggy has complained to me the past two seasons about having to pay for this so I'm graciously volunteering SDCore to front the costs for this season's splurge! Are you going to Games 1 and 2 in Edmonton or Games 3 and 4 in Hamilton? Why are you picking there? And what are you going to do in that city to run up SD's tab?? (This is the same prompt as in the past but we've got different cities! be creative! Don't re-use what was written last season.)

I went to games 3 and 4 in Hamilton and I tried to burn down three fast food restaurants while I was there. It was the least I could do to compensate the city for all the joy they stole from me this year. That was just a pregaming activity, though, because after that we headed to the arena and made sure to really load up on 32-dollar nachos and 24 dollar beers (this is after the exchange rate). I also had my mom and dad come over from Sweden and we drove around town to check up on all of the fast food restaurants. Unfortunately, it turned out that I’m not much of an arsonist and all I managed to do was burn down a bush outside of one of them. Disappointed, we all headed back to the hotel that we picked out. I said goodnight to my parents, then went and ordered seven sexy movies on pay per view and only actually watched two of them while eating and drinking all of the overpriced little snacks and drinks in the hotel room.

Quote:2. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)
Alternate Reality: Physicists and other smarties believe that this reality is just one of infinite realities existing alongside this one in parallel. Take us over to one of those realities in which everything is the same but these S51 playoffs have unfolded differently. What happened in that reality's playoffs and who's in the Challenge Cup over there?

In another universe, the league was broken even worse than it was broken in this reality, and it was decided that a switch in sim engine was needed. HO decided to switch everything over to bubble hockey as a simulation, and employed two unfortunate simmers to physically battle out every single game on the bubble hockey table and record the wins via etch a sketch photographed and uploaded to the forum for everyone to see. When all was said and done, the winner was the San Francisco Pride, because honestly, hell, why not. They beat the Hamilton Steelhawks in a thrilling seven game series that included a terrifying delay in one of the games when the bubble on the bubble hockey table cracked and a simmer had to spend several hours on the phone with customer support having a replacement bubble sent via express mail in time for the play by play to continue.

Quote:4. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)
Pretend that your team has hit an injury bug - the roster is so depleted that your coach is asking you to play out of position. What position is your coach asking you to play and what about your player build will help you be successful in this new role?

Gunnar actually has some experience with this in international play for team Sweden. Sweden’s roster is small enough that he has had to slot into a defensive role instead of his normal position at forward. It works out alright because Gunnar has had maxed out defense for a while thanks to some solid coaching in juniors, and as a playmaker forward has a pretty strong passing game. He has also benefitted from the excellent tutelage of some strong defensive players on the Barracuda, so when the injury bug comes knocking, it’s pretty easy (or at least, not a total nightmare) for him to drop back and play defense instead of forward. Rest assured though that once the injuries have passed, he will be thrilled to go back to his usual playing spot, even if playmaker is debatably the most unfortunate build in the game after recent revelations regarding the passing and scoring attributes.

Quote:5. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)
The Most Generic Prompt of All Time - what is your player looking forward to in the offseason? What are they planning on doing? Training? Relaxing? Testing free agency? Whatever it is, let us know!

Gunnar is looking forward to going home and spending some time with his family as usual, and spending some time with his boyfriend. He’s also been thinking about the future a lot, and may end up asking said boyfriend some pretty important questions as they take their time enjoying the offseason and just enjoying each other’s company. In addition to all of that, he’s pretty excited to just hang out with his dog and take him on some really long walks on days when he doesn’t have to be at the gym super early. But that’s all the recreational stuff. Staying competitive requires constant commitment, so wherever he ends up going, Gunnar makes sure he has access to a gym at least (and preferably somewhere he can skate). When he’s at home in Sweden, he also helps out with coaching some of the local youth hockey teams that he himself played on when he was younger.

Quote:9. Written, 1 TPE
Write a haiku about an SHL-related topic. Be sure to follow the 3 line, 5-7-5 syllable structure or Godzilla will stomp on your house/apartment while you sleep.

They broke the whole league
How could they do it
A pox upon them

Quote:18. Casual Member Special, 3 TPE max - 1 TPE for participation, 0.5 TPE for each correct answer

Sent

nour · 01-13-2020, 10:08 PM

Code:
1. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)

VIP Status again babyyyyyyyy - your player has been invited to attend one of the first homestands of the CC finals as a VIP guest - all expenses paid, front row seats, any hotel you want - and it's all on the Commissioner's dime! Eggy has complained to me the past two seasons about having to pay for this so I'm graciously volunteering SDCore to front the costs for this season's splurge! Are you going to Games 1 and 2 in Edmonton or Games 3 and 4 in Hamilton? Why are you picking there? And what are you going to do in that city to run up SD's tab?? (This is the same prompt as in the past but we've got different cities! be creative! Don't re-use what was written last season.)

Well, as I’m a player in the Challenge Cup Finals (go Steelhawks) I get to do both, but if I had to pick one, it would definitely be Hamilton, just because it’s gonna be a lot closer to the fun shit Anazibf ACTUALLY wants to do! Toronto is only a short drive away, and downtown Toronto is gonna be filled with hotspots that Anazibf is dying to hit. Great nightlife scene with clubs like Wildflower or Toybox, and some of his favourite food joints like The Works Gourmet Burgers, or Burger Priest, or the dozens of great family owned shawarma places! Of course, he’s gonna get court side tickets to watch the defending NBA Champion Raptors as well, as he’s a massive fan and loves to watch the fan favourite Pascal Siakam play, as well as getting a chance to take an up close look at Kyle Lowry’s sweet, thick ass.

Code:
4. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)

Pretend that your team has hit an injury bug - the roster is so depleted that your coach is asking you to play out of position. What position is your coach asking you to play and what about your player build will help you be successful in this new role?

Skao Anazibf is a monster on the dot and an offensive specialist, so it would be a really tough call to have to move him away from his natural position to another one, but if it HAD to happen, Anazibf idolizes former Steelhawk Nour Harrak, who started his career looking to be offensively dynamic the same way Skao Anazibf has been looking to do, but made the switch to defence late in his career at the request of the Steelhawks management members Hallsy and Waters. Anazibf is equally as dedicated to Hamilton, and if the team really needed it, he would switch to defence, especially in a situation where they NEED him there for a cup run. His defence being on the higher end will certainly help with that, but strength and skating are definitely gonna be huge factors as well. Not to mention Anazibf but get to be partnered with fellow S51 rookie Samuel Michaud!

Code:
3. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min)

The two finals teams have decided to team up for a fundraising opportunity to benefit both cities. What noble cause will the teams decide to benefit? What sort of fundraiser will the teams hold together? How will the two teams mesh before the finals start?

In partnership with both the mayors of the city of Edmonton and the city of Hamilton, the team will be contributing money towards AIDS research and support around the globe for this finals. They’ll be contributing to the cause in a variety of ways, like a car wash drive done by hit players like Robert Phelps and Hugh Jazz from the Steelhawks, and Teddy Cuddles and Julio Tokolosh from the Blizzard. The mayors from each city will also be donating $10,000 for every goal scored in the finals, with Hamilton’s mayor donating for every Edmonton goal, and Edmonton’s mayor donating for every Hamilton goal. Finally, the rosters from both teams will be holding a 3on3 tourney, with a buy in auction to get a chance to play with players from both teams! All proceeds from the game, including refreshments and memorabilia sold on site will be donated to the cause as well.

Code:
8. Written, 4 TPE

Write a sonnet about an SHL-related topic. Be sure to follow the proper ABAB-CDCD-EFEF-GG rhyme structure or your HS English (or equivalent any-language Writing teacher) will track you down in and give you a failing grade.

Hamilton forsake passing and boosted their scoring,
Turning backs to the league as they rained evil down,
They cared for but 2 stats, whilst TPE whoring,
And painted the SHL’s faces with frowns.

They swept the Stampede and they near swept the Rage,
Whilst their players trolled forums in ways quite malicious,
They site wished for the roster to be locked in a cage,
But Narconis would claim that their salt was delicious.

Their final task was the Blizzard from Edmonton,
With a roster so strong, and Tokolosh the cow,
The Steelhawks unfazed, focused on the cup they’d win,
But the New Orleans Spectres, claimed it shouldn’t be allowed

And with playoffs wrapped, and all strife put to rest,
It was discovered at least, that Hamilton was the best.

Code:
18. Casual Member Special, 3 TPE max - 1 TPE for participation, 0.5 TPE for each correct answer - SEND ANSWER IN PM TO "PT DIRECTOR" (tagged below)

A. In which season did the Hamilton Steelhawks last win the Challenge Cup?

B. Name a player who has won the Anton Razov trophy while playing for the Edmonton Blizzard

C. Which Edmonton Blizzard player famously has a cow as their player render?

D. Of the 18 skaters on Hamilton's playoff roster, how many of them have a Passing rating higher than their Scoring rating?

Sent to PT Director

**First GM in SMJHL history to win 3 Four Star Cups back-to-back-to-back**

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