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dankoa · 06-15-2020, 04:25 AM

Kaarlo Kekkonen doesn't cook. There's a reason that a team has chefs that cook for the players, and in order to maximise his available time when not in training and to ensure that he gets all the correct things from his food, Kaarlo has all his meals prepared for him. Even when he's at home, he'll just heat up pre-prepared meals made by the team's chef. So for him to be given a cooking show is quite the turn of events. It'd probably just have to focus around him and his ability to use a microwave. It could feature various guests talking about what kind of foods they like to cook in the microwave too, and maybe every episode could focus on a different style of cooking that people may not believe is microwaveable. If the show's producers are expecting more from Kaarlo than this, then they're going to be sorely disappointed.

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152 words

wumaduce · 06-15-2020, 04:53 AM

Pbe pt, username squishes

*Mutedfaith* · 06-15-2020, 05:24 AM

Being surrounded by foodies in the Detroit Lockerroom, it was no surprise that the local televion network approached us all to host our very own cooking shows on their 24Cooking channel. Since a lot of his teammatea re way better cooks than Cal is, the network decided to give him a show based on his strengths in the kitchen: Cocktails. In a weekly, fridaynight show called 'Calcohol', Detroit forward Cal Labovitch mixes his, and his guests, favourite cocktails and talks about their favourite types of booze. We can expect co-Detroit players like @Mediocre_Fred @TheSparkyDee, @notorioustig and @"Awesomecakes", and other S52 players and Cal's personal friends @"Geekusoid, @notoriousTRON, @RedCapeDiver, @Capt_Blitzkrieg and @"Jakub" to join Cal in his show, and showing the audience their favourite drinks. Apart from mixing their chosen cocktails, we will also dive into their history with alcohol, from the alcohol-induced post-cup parties to the alcoholic beverages served on teambuilding weekends. Do our stars go to parties, what do they drink there and how are they when drunk? Learn all about it in 'Calcohol'!

Thor · 06-15-2020, 05:42 AM

Thor Odinson has been known to bring a wheel of deep fried brie to every game, and the team only gets to share it with him if they help him to earn a shutout. In his first season they got to eat so much brie, the team has now slowed down significantly in the following season. As this is Thor's specialty, he was offered a TV show called un-brie-leivable. Unfortunately due to time constraints along with the fact that Thor only has the ability and skill to prepare the one dish - he has refused this offer. He hopes in the future to expand his cooking knowledge into the fields of other soft cheeses, perhaps a nice camembert would be a good starting point. All that we know, is that the wheel of brie tradition has continued and the Falcons are not eating so many in this season.

TheHockeyist · 06-15-2020, 06:22 AM

Igor, as previously explained, is an awful cook. He cannot even remember the ingredients from the grocery store. He goes for one thing, returns, something rots, returns for another thing, forgets other things, etc. Or he burns something, has to go back for something, burns another thing, etc. You think he would learn. But no. Despite him being excellent at chemistry, he is a really, really awful cook. What usually happens is other the other guys on his team cook for him or he orders something really easy to do. And even then, he screws up badly. For his build, it is quite amazing that he is somehow well-fed, even after seven or eight seasons in the league. In this sense, he is a paradox. Well-fed, but cannot cook. Igor does not explain the mysteries of his life. He's trying to work out the details of more important stuff.

bbp · 06-15-2020, 07:02 AM

Not Your Grandmothers Italian Food

Ciao! It is I Niccolo Livius! Proud Italian SMJHL player who flies in the face of tradition on the ice and off… with my dangerous new age Italian cuisine! Italy is a very misunderstood country with a wide variety of cuisines brought up on a peninsula which since the fall of Rome has rarely been a united state. Diversity of cuisine is what I will highlight on my program! First of all it is important to note that before the colonial period… there were no tomatoes in Italy. I will explore these older dishes. Second we have very large Romanian communities which love to sour their dishes with lemon, sauerkraut juice and their beloved combining these elements with our native foods is another exciting option. Finally we should embrace the long Arab history of Italy. Sicily was ruled by Arabs along with other parts of the boot for generations. Today we have a large Moroccan community as well! Their culinary tradition is rich and delicious.

My show... "Not Your Grandmothers Italian Food: Nuova Italia" will be a journey into the past, present and future of Italian cuisine!

@JNH

st4rface · 06-15-2020, 07:33 AM

“Cook with a Dino”

Name of my cooking show will be “Cook with a Dino”. Cooking show will be only three seasons long, in total of 15 series in first season, 5 series in second season and third season will just be one long serie which will last almost 2 hours. In each serie they will need to make one primary food and one dessert. Foods will be judged by judges - Colorado “Raptors” head coach, Toronto “Raptors” head coach and Gordon Ramsay. When they will taste food, they will not know who made it, so it’s completely fair.

In first season, there will be 3 guests in each serie, who will try to win to qualify to next season and round. First guest will be a player from SMJHL team Colorado “Raptors”. Second guest will be a player from NBA team Toronto “Raptors” and third guest - just one of “Raptors” fans who are well known celebrity. Winner of each series will qualify to next season - also known as round.

In each serie, there will be a special guest who will perform before announcing results. It will be some well known musician. Show will be on TV once per week - on Friday evenings. It will be on LIVE and people who watch, will have an opportunity to vote for their favourites aswell.

In second season, all winners from first season will try to win once again to qualify to finals. 5 winners - 1 from each serie. In finals they all 5 will have to do their best to win, because winner will win 200 000$ which are sponsored by Colorado “Raptors” media budget. Winner will be the person who will get best result from judges and most votes from viewers.

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***Toast*** · 06-15-2020, 08:05 AM

"Getting Klomped in the Kitchen," may be a risque title for a series but it turns out Jack Klompus actually has some talent in the kitchen! Inviting his Berserker's teammates each week for different recipes, join Klompus and the gang as they try to figure out healthy living on the road without spending your entire salary! The show will be filmed in the Newfoundland locker room and visitor's locker room as the team continues their conquest through the SHL. Klompus will also provide drink pairings with each meal!

The first episode will see Klompus joined by Liam Slate @Tylar. Join these two young talents as they discuss the best deli meats that you can purchase from your local Real Canadian Superstore. Klompus and Slate will attempt to make the greatest sandwich every and show you the best ways to pack your lunch box for those long road trips! Join Klompus and Slate on their trip to the grocery store and get some tips from the pros on how to find those need-to-have items!

CB2212 · 06-15-2020, 08:23 AM

This season in Colorado is going so well for Carlos that a local station approached him to do a cooking show. A bit unorthodox for a Canadian Hockey player who never touched a skillet in his whole life, but he accepted the offer when he came up with the concept of his new show. Indeed Carlos, in his new show "Responsible Edible", shows the people of Colorado how they can prepare completely healthy food infused with THC as Cannabis is legal in the State. The legality of the plant in the SHL / SMJHL is unclear to Carlos but he's known to be much of a thinker. In the first episode, special guest and local dispensary owner "Munchy Joey" visits the studio to prepare, along with Carlos, a very potent yet extremely healthy Salad, made from the finest greens and the finest green.

After being reached out for comments about the young player's new cooking show and if it may affect his skills on the ice, the Raptors and Blizzard's organizations have not returned our calls.

***bluesfan55*** · 06-15-2020, 08:27 AM

Mitchell van der Heijden's cooking show would be titled "Shit Koken Met Mitchell", Dutch for "Cooking Shit With Mitchell". It would be exactly what the title said: Mitchell van der Heijden cooking shit, with most episodes having a Dutch or Swiss feel to them (as in he would cook mostly Dutch or Swiss delicacies). Normally, episodes would start with van der Heijden recapping the history of the food he is covering, his personal thoughts on it, and then him cooking the food. While Mitchell is mostly not a lifeless human being (he has some humor in him and his running cooking commentary is normal banter), he would definitely need a guest to both help him cook stuff and add a bit more humor. Most guests would be teammates, either internationally with Switzerland or domestically with New Orleans (maybe even some Anchorage boys too). However, one episode with Gabriel Johnson was put off the air after he actually did go wild on the show, making most realize that he was nicknamed "Gone Wild" for a reason.

ty to @High Stick King @EvilAllBran and @Ragnar for the sigs

***Ace*** · 06-15-2020, 08:58 AM

Welcome to Frans Eller's House of Danish! Here, we just make danishes. Lots of them!

1. Cherry Jam Danishes (Vegan): The usual butter-laden Danish dough gets a vegan makeover with this excellent, just-as-flaky recipe. Not a fan of cherries? Simply use your favorite flavor jam instead.

2. Strawberry Lime Almond Danish Braid: Lime adds a lively touch to both the filling (zest) and glaze (juice) of this strawberry-cream-cheese braid.

3. Chocolate, Berry and Cream Cheese Danish: As tempting as it might be to mow down on the giant Danish yourself, it’s definitely meant to be cut into squares and shared with those near and dear to you.

4. Cranberry-Orange Danish Braid: You won’t believe the secret ingredient used to make this super quick pastry, filled with the bright, tangy flavor of citrus and tart cranberries. It’s Bisquick.

5. Blueberries ‘n’ Cream Danish Braid: Put your big girl apron on and get ready to “roll and fold” your way to this mouthwatering classic. Once you try this totally-from-scratch Danish braid, it’ll be hard to go back to the kind that comes in a box.

6. 10-Minute English Muffin Berry Cream Cheese Danish: Reach for this Danish hack when pastry cravings strike but you don’t have the time to run out to the grocery store, let alone whip up a batch from scratch.

7. Berry Danish (Gluten-Free): The hardest part of making this Danish is waiting for the buns to chill and rise. In short: a seriously simple recipe yielding seriously delicious pastry.

8. Raspberry-Cream Cheese Danish: If you favored Toaster Strudels over Pop Tarts growing up, we’re quite certain these puff pastry Danishes were made just for you.

9. Savory Danish: Stuffed with arugula, onion, feta and a host of complementary fillings, this savory take on the Danish is quite reminiscent of calzone. Enjoy them hot out of the oven or at room temp.

10. Orange Sugar Danish Pastries: It doesn’t get much easier than this. Puff pastry and orange-zest-enhanced sugar are twisted together to create unbelievably flaky pastries that need nary a drizzle of glaze.

I will feature other prominent Danish SHLers, such as Peter Larson of the Manhattan Rage, and New England Wolfpack GM Erik Chisling. It'll be a hoot!

*takethehorizon* · 06-15-2020, 09:13 AM

If Cillian Kavanagh had a cooking show...I for one just learned how to cook recently from when I moved out of my parent's house and into my first apartment. Before then, cooking to me seemed like a daunting task, especially when the end result wouldn't turn out as expected. I began starting small and only trying to cook things within my range. This began with a nice 3-egg omelet, chicken cutlet, different types of vegetables, mashed potatoes and fish. I either had to spend more money on eating out/takeout, make food for myself, or starve. From there I was able to experiment with other things such as a nice beef stew, meatloaf and lasagna. If I can give any tip to a new chef in the kitchen is 'start with what you know, do the basics right, and everything else will come after'. To think before I moved out I barely knew how to boil water correctly for a pasta dish.

Murtsi · 06-15-2020, 09:22 AM

The name of my cooking show that I will host, will be Disgustingly Good. Now you may think you know what the concept is but I bet you are wrong. The idea of the show is to be able to create dishes that look absolutely horrible, like something a two year old would make when playing in a pile of mud or a drug addict would make while high on meth. The thing about it though, is that it needs to be extremely delicious. So how disgusting can you make it look while having it taste absolutely delicious. It will be interesting to see, as beauty is sometimes in the eye of the beholder, so some may see dishes as not that bad looking while others see them as nightmares. I will have two other regulars alongside me to judge these conceptions. The first will be Simon Cowell as he is always able to see the inner beauty of anything, be it a ugly meal or a horrible singer. The other judge will be DJ Khaled as he is always able to see the other side of things and I totally just want him to say “Anotha One” when we have a great masterpiece.

***Faelax*** · 06-15-2020, 09:32 AM

Alexander Roach is a lover of all things BBQ, and that is what I cover on my cooking show. The plan is to spend each episode going over the different regional varieties of BBQ, such as Carolina and their mustard base sauce (which is disgusting by the way), Memphis style ribs (delicious), and Kansas City style with their tomato based sauces and wide variety of meats. The real fun part of the show is when I bring some of my teammates on the show to help prepare the food, but more importantly try everything out. It is especially fun with the European players, as American BBQ is a foreign concept to some of them. The most recent episode featured captain Kalashnikov (@suavemente ) who brought along this interesting Vodka based sauce he had in his native Russia. Of course, like any other Timber activity, we had quite a bit to drink before we filmed the show, and things turned out, interesting, to say the least.

BarnabasCollins · 06-15-2020, 09:47 AM

Kata Vilde as mentioned in the op is quite an accomplished chef. He is well known on the site for recipes and he recently has been approached by the Food Network to host a new cooking show. Cooking with Kata will be the name of the new show. Kata will be primarily featuring older style foods he fell in love with in touring America during the offseasons. Vilde is particularly interested in the farm to table concept and the farm style cooking of the Midwest and the Amish communities he encountered. The show will feature traditional comfort food recipes that appeared on many a Sunday dinner table in years past. Since the show is entitled Cooking with Kata it will provide Vilde an opportunity to invite guest chefs onto his show from various different farming communities to show and demonstrate how to make these timeless classics. Here's a recipe that will be featured on the show for a classic dish many have probably never even heard of, Ham Loaf.

Ham Loaf

2 lbs. Ground Ham
2 Eggs
2/3 cup Breadcrumbs
3/4 cup Milk

Glaze:
1/4 cup Vinegar
1/2 cup Brown Sugar
1 Tbsp Mustard
1/2 cup Water

1. Mix ham, eggs, breadcrumbs and
milk in large bowl until thoroughly
combined.
2. Place meat mixture into a loaf
pan.
3. Bake at 350 degrees for 2 hours.
4. Brush glaze over loaf
periodically starting after the first
hour.

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