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***sve7en*** · 09-04-2020, 12:28 AM

[889 words]

This is the ninth entry on The Player's Tribune in an ongoing series following hockey player Jimmy Wagner through his journey of playing professionally. You can read his first piece “Hey Dad” here, or view the index of his entries here.

Honestly, I don’t know what to say at this point. It’s cliche to say that you’re not ready for the season to end, or that you're heartbroken, but that doesn’t really begin to cover what I’ve felt these last few hours. From the moment the horn blew in St. John’s, I’ve kinda just been on autopilot. I coasted in circles for a bit, my legs carried me down the tunnel, my arms hugged Ambacas, someone tried to help me get my jersey off but I shrugged them away. There wasn’t really a word for what I was feeling either. It wasn’t just sadness, frustration, or emptiness.

My time in Carolina was over, just like that. No celebration, no ovation, just over. Cut and dry.

Most people on the outside expected me to play in Los Angeles this season. It made the most sense for my career, I was skilled enough to make the jump, there was an obvious slot on the Panthers roster to fill, I had accomplished everything there was to do at this level… the list goes on and on.

They all overlooked one thing. Something the people inside the Kraken organization knew, and its why they knew I was coming back before I ever told them.

I love Carolina. The teammates, the city, the community, have all meant more to me than I could have ever imagined coming over from Austria four years ago. When I showed up, Charlotte was just becoming a hockey town. The Kraken showed up and won a cup a few years prior, but that alone doesn’t make a city fall in love with a team. These last four years I’ve gotten to watch that love and passion develop first hand, developed my own love in return and it’s hard to think that next year I won’t be walking out of that familiar tunnel to a sea of orange. I got my first apartment here, I had my first drink here, I made so many friends here, I fell in love here, and I learned so much. Charlotte is forever ingrained in my heart and who I am as a person and a hockey player. You all embraced me, an 18 year old kid who had never had barbecue, as I skated out wearing that C on the front of my jersey. While my neighbors taught me the nuances of cooking ribs, I began teaching you all about the way I saw and played this beautiful game.

Fox and C (even though he’s now working in Tampa), I’ll never be able to thank you enough for bringing me here and surrounding me with such great people. From flying me down here and giving me that first week of sleeping on Rykov’s floor and Weston’s couch, to that first team that helped shape a teenager into a young man, and then you guys surrounding me with other rookies for me to pass on the love and wisdom I once got, you guys shaped who I am today. Chris, while I didn’t get to know you as long, your knowledge of the game and how it applies to my own game is something that I’ll be sure to carry forward and something that I’ll always be grateful for after it helped us win the cup last year. Fox knows how to find talent, and you two will be a dominant duo for a while to come.

They say defending your title in hockey is one of the hardest things in sports. They might be right, but to all my teammates, I’m sorry. We had the talent to go all the way, and some things just didn’t turn out the way we needed them to. I’m going to miss the games of basketball in the off-season, the locker room antics, and all the highs and lows that we would experience each game and each season. Most of us got to lift a cup in Carolina, even if it took two seasons longer than I initially promised and for those of you that haven’t yet, you’re in the best of hands. I’d like to think I’ve passed on every bit of knowledge I could and prepared you all for the future, and I’m excited to see what you do next season. Hopefully some of us can share a locker room again some day.

As for the people of Carolina… Much like the young guys on the team, I’m leaving you all in the best of hands. Fox and Chris will continue to flood your city with talented hockey players, guys like Conner, Vitek, and Axel are ready to fill my shoes, and I hope that you continue to embrace the rookies and team as you once embraced me.

You all made me what I am today and whatever happens in the rest of my career, Carolina will always be my home.

Jimmy Wagner

Captain

Carolina Kraken

P.S. Kate and I aren’t leaving for LA until June, so hit me up on twitter (@JWagnerHockey) if you wanna get some barbecue or something before then.

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overdoo · 09-04-2020, 12:43 AM

We'll miss you in Carolina Wags! Kraken

Mazatt · 09-04-2020, 12:55 AM

It's hard to think about Wags leaving, a true Carolina legend. Leaving behind shoes big enough the whole team has to work together to fill them. Such a shame it ended this way, but you still got that ring! Kraken