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MCP_ · 03-07-2021, 11:29 PM

I will say, my canon is that the NHL does not exist in the SHL universe: the SHL is the equivalent of the NHL in the SHL universe.

When it comes to things like this, why not just take what was already done? As mentioned, Slamball was made "extreme" by adding trampolines to get more dunks/stunts in. So, why not do the same for the SHL? Specially made trampolines will be on the ice, in small blocks. When jumped on, they gain more height, and more angles to do their thing against a goalie. Now, because of an addition like this, there are obviously some logistical problems that come with it. For one thing, what happens if the trampoline tears? Well, play continues as usual, and if a player falls in the hole: tough shit. Then there's the prospect of being able to stab players in the face with their skates by jack-knifing them in the face. All I have to say about that is this: they wanted something more extreme, and they're gonna get it, regardless of the severity of it.

Grum · 03-07-2021, 11:30 PM

Along with all the other equipment we have, we will now have to carry guns that shoot out heavy plastic balls. These will shoot out at extremely high speeds and probably break something on impact but the fun of the whole thing is so that you can skate and shoot people off balance at the same time. Every player will get a 1 shot and then get a chance to reload when they are either benched or at the start of a new quarter. Goalies however will have infinite shots but must not be in the goalie crease when shooting. The bench will also get a chance to shoot down players but can only shoot a valley every 5 minutes or when they get scored on. Since we are getting pelted by plastic balls at all times, we can also carry around shields in some attempt to block / absorb the shock of the impact somewhat.

Zombiewolf · 03-07-2021, 11:33 PM

The simulation Hockey League has been around for almost sixty seasons but for some reason we gotta change it up to make it "extreme". This is the same league that has magically made injuries nonexisted I do not think it will be that hard to make the league more extreme. For one, I would make a rule that you are allowed to swing your stick at players. I think this will allow for some pretty epic highlights and just way more extreme chaos. The next thing that I would do is I would enforce a rule that every time someone shot they had to yell out "EXTREME" and if they do not do that and they score the opposing team is allowed to cross check that player ten times. The next thing I would do is force the arena to blast heavy metal into the stadium. I feel like all of that makes it more exrreme

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Sopath · 03-07-2021, 11:34 PM

Increasing interest in the sport really means interesting Americans which means just make more offense and call it a day. Increase the Ice Rink by 40% and then make the goalie nets massive. Like soccer net style. Then all the players have to play with goalie sticks regardless of their position. Then lastly the games are played in a black light and all the players have to wear colors that glow in the dark. Is this incredible dangerous and pointless and overall a completely atrocious idea? Yes but little Timmy and his shit head parents are the base of the lowest common denominator sports fan that basically allows the industry to pay players millions and millions of dollars. And these people just don't watch enough hockey and maybe if we make it look like a fucking sideshow on ice we can get assess in seats and eyeballs on tv screens. I look forward to this future of the SHL where Bas O'Bigbers had 200 goal seasons because with a net that wide he can snipe from outside the blue line. Good riddance integrity, HELLO MONEY!

Sean · 03-07-2021, 11:35 PM

First thing that's going to happen is all the faceoff circles in the rink are going to turn into the equivalent of skateboarding bowls. There will be judges who grade the cool tricks players do while they're skating down the ice. Rather than going to overtime after the game, the tiebreaker will be who gets the better score from the judges. After the faceoff, the dots will fall into the ice to leave a hole. This adds some danger to the players doing tricks but it also leaves a spot for the puck to fall into. If the puck falls into the hole it will shoot up from another random faceoff dot in in the ice. The lights will start flashing on all the dots and a casino sound will start playing. eventually the light will stop on one circle and the puck will come out of that dot. Finally, the home team will get to choose the shape of the nets every game. there can be a square net, half circle net, triangle net, or classic net. They will all have the same area to score on.

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eMLBCommish · 03-07-2021, 11:38 PM

With the newly announced deal for syndication rights, the Simulation Hockey League will undergo a more extreme makeover this next season. First, the hockey rinks will be extended both ways to provide for more space and more speed to be brought into the game. One of the next things to be discussed is extending the nets to be an additional six inches wide on both sides and six inches taller. With regards to overtime rules that will be put into play, one of the first things will be to increase the length of time from five minutes to ten minutes long, with the first five minutes being done with four on four hockey first. If it is not settled by then, we will move on to three on three hockey. If that does not determine a winner, we'll go to a riveting game of "Rock, Paper, Scissors". Hey, it worked for Brad Marchand and Mika Zibanejad!

Duff101 · 03-07-2021, 11:39 PM

In order to revamp the rink, firstly the cooling system that keeps the ice cold will be turned off, as will the temperature control system for the arena in general. Next, the rink will be filled with dirt, which combined with the water will create a wetland or swamp type environment. Trees will be planted and fauna will be brought in, especially copious amounts of insects. To ensure fan safety, they will be 100% disease free mosquitoes. The players will be forced to play in this new swampy environment, but will be required to keep the traditional equipment, including skates and sweaters. This will make the game interesting, and make it probably the hardest place to play in the entire league. These changes will also ensure player health and safety, as the rink will now have plenty of food and shelter from predators. It will make Atlanta one of the best rinks in the league to visit and play at.

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***Patty*** · 03-07-2021, 11:40 PM

My hockey style slamball would include different elevations and slopes in the ice. The entire neutral zone would be a foot higher than either offensive zone. I would do this because it's nearly impossible to score from the neutral zone so I would want to discourage as much play to happen in that area of the ice as possible. I would also add slight slopes/ banking to the corners in either offensive zone to encourage the puck to not be in those areas and come back out to the middle where scoring could happen. Another change to consider would be maybe lowering the crease/ net area to be maybe just 6 inches lower than the rest of the ice in the attacking zone. This might be counter productive as the goalies would no longer have to worry about shots along the ice but i would combat that by enlarging the net. You also might say the different elevations could be a safety concern but I think with a bit of time player would adjust to it fairly quickly.

JNH · 03-07-2021, 11:41 PM

Hm how to make the SHL more extreme? It's hard because what's more extreme than one of the four best teams in the league missing the playoffs. We're kind of peaking in that respect right now. I guess if you're making me make a change, then I'll just go with something really original and add spikes to the sides of the puck. I'm tired of people getting in the way of my shots (looking at you Will Windsor) so anything to discourage that kind of reckless behaviour would be greatly appreciated. The Will Windsors and Elizabeth Doyles will have to think twice about their decisions to continue blocking everything that they see. Jobin is probably fine, I don't think the change will affect him very much.

If we really wanted to go extreme, a team should take @bbp and employ him on their SHL team. Nothing more crazy than... oh... someone's doing that? Seriously? Welp. If the networks want more from us I can't really see how they're gonna get it.

***ProjectSaint*** · 03-07-2021, 11:50 PM

Alright, so the new syndicates in town (Not you, Chicago) wish to create something that will really push the adrenaline of hockey fans around the world, really make their blood pump and their hair prep for launch into orbit. This is a rather difficult ordeal that the SHL review committee have decided to undertake, but we believe that for the game to be advanced, we need to go outside the box.

Therefore, we have decided to fully incoporate verticality into our game.

First off, we change the rink so that the goals will be suspended in air. Of course, we will need a ceiling for the puck and players so that they dont become the next Icarus.
This also spoils and leads to the second point: we give the players jetpacks. Let them zoom across the rink and create plays to out of this world that you;d believe that humanity has advanced by 10 trillion years.

This will not be easy, of course, but we aim to please and we know that we have faith in what we do and how we do it.

***luke*** · 03-07-2021, 11:50 PM

To redesign the rink, I will start getting all of the different brands the SHL has to offer, the SHN, the FHN, the BHN, and even some other ones that were there before. I would put them around the rink, as well as putting ads on other places as well. I will move the rinks to the olympic rinks because why not. And I will also employ a mascot, so that it will lighten up the arena. I would install state of the art lights, as well as a dope ass horn and goal song too. The different ads will be pulled from local business as well, so that we can help the businesses around Manhattan, instead of the bigger corporations. Not to mention that we need more cowbells, in order to show dominance over the other team when they enter the building. The loud boos and cowbells will put fears in their hearts

Tayjay · 03-07-2021, 11:52 PM

The first thing I'm getting rid of is the glass. It's now netting that you can get caught in when you get checked. For a real home ice advantage your fans can grab opposing players and try to keep them from getting away from the boards. It makes the entire arena feel unfair for visitors, because it is. The next thing I would do is I would is put 1 zamboni for all power plays with some Wipe Out padding all the way around it. It has be be controlled by the team with the man advantage and can be used to straight up bulldoze defenders away from the crease. The next thing I would do is to introduce the money puck system that NHL Chel uses. There can be blue negative pucks, orange multiplier pucks, and normal pucks. At the beginning of every period and after every goal a new puck is introduce, randomly, from a claw game type tank. This sounds like winner ideas to me.

bigbluex02 · 03-07-2021, 11:54 PM

The NHL is one of the biggest leagues in the United States, and because of this, the SHL sometimes struggles with the battle of viewers between the two powerhouse leagues. However, one of the big time networks have decided to step forward and pick up exclusive streaming rights of the SHL, but it comes with a twist: the SHL must become more "extreme" in order to attract the viewership away from the NHL. There are many ideas floating around for how the SHL will become more extreme, but one idea stands above the rest: fusing together football and hockey concepts in order to create the ultimate sport. The game would still be played on ice, however, instead of hitting your opponent into the wall for possession, you are allowed to full on tackle the opposing team; as long as there are no horse collars or deliberately targeting hits. Additionally, to ramp up the extreme aspect, fighting will become more of an energizer rather than a deterrent during the course of the game. Fighting will now be used as a way to knock time off of your penalty minutes, as well sending in the "loser" of the fight into the penalty box, rather than sending them both in. The winner of the fight will be whoever stays on their feet and lands the first 5 punches, or knocks their opponent to the ground first. These two modifications will result in a lot more extreme and physical game, as well as making the enforcer role more of a handy tool in a teams arsenal.

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Jumbobone19 · 03-08-2021, 12:05 AM

So SHL made a deal with the Extreme Sports Channel. In this deal the SHL had to change up one big rule. In an effort to make this more fun to watch and also more of a Beer league. While every player is not on the ice playing, they must be drinking a beer. This may loosen some of the players up while also making some players very aggressive. It is a sure way to spice the league up and keep it real entertaining for the fans. Other rules that apply. Each team can choose which beer the team will drink. And the home team gets to choose the away teams beer for that game. The beer must fall in the light beer category not to exceed 5% ABV. (Just to keep from teams getting completely annihilated) Also each player is allowed 32 oz of water that they can drink whenever they want during the game. If you choose to fight, you must chug a beer before you fight. Goalies get 1-32 oz water bottle and 1-32 oz Beer bottle that gets refilled as much as needed. Dont think that the refs are in the clear. Everytime a ref blows their whistle, they must take a drink of beer. So the whole premise is to see who is left standing at the end. It should make for a great time.

GeckoeyGecko · 03-08-2021, 12:07 AM

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