Login

*takethehorizon* · 03-10-2021, 02:54 PM

There are many 'creatures' in the SHL that's for sure. Some with some wacky names however, I don't suspect there being an alien among us. Aliens don't have time for hockey when they're too busy doing other alien things like driving UFOs and melting brains.

Noah Johns · 03-10-2021, 03:01 PM

Yes, I suspect Jayhawk of the Nevada Battleborn to be a Alien. He seems to know everything and is always lurking no matter the time..just something is off! I swear he's a ALIEN!

Frick_Nasty · 03-10-2021, 03:40 PM

I am suspicious of @JSS of being an alien. If you are on the Hamilton Steelhawks you know you have seen some his takes and they are definitely out of this world.

Keenan · 03-10-2021, 04:00 PM

Seems like a lot of people have already answered Gabe, so I'm gonna follow suit and also answer Gabe. If the Salem Witch Trials taught me anything, it's to trust the mob.

**leafsftw1967** · 03-10-2021, 04:59 PM

Aside from Manyhands, I do you suspect another player in the SHL to be an alien and funny enough he is my teammate and general manager of the Calgary Dragons the one and only Esa Parmborg @Steelhead77 . Many around the Calgary area and the SHL have wondered if Esa is actually human having been an absolute offensive machine for the Dragons having consistently put up over a point a game for the last five seasons and even hit over seventy points last season and is on pace for eighty points this season. It is strange to see a player getting deep into regression just keep getting better year after year which really sparked my suspicious that Esa maybe an alien.

Esa’s incredible point pace in his old age is just the beginning on my suspicions. The next thing that really tipped me off was Esa’s last name. Being from the “Parmborg” family, his last is quite strange and could definitely pass as an alien last name. In the locker room one day I asked how his family name came to be and the origins of it and Esa awkwardly was not able to tell me much about it answering very vaguely and trying to steer the conversation in another way. In addition, Esa says he is from Hella, Iceland which is a small town in the middle of no where with under one thousand people living in it. This was the next suspicious aspects of Esa’s story as it made me wonder how did this guy become one of the best hockey players in the world growing up in a isolated rural town with no hockey team or competitive city league to play in while growing up. Moreover, Eas’s love for chicken parms from a young age is quite strange seeing as though chicken parm’s are a foreign rare food to find in Iceland.

The biggest thing that tipped me off about Esa potentially being an alien is his physical appearance. In our discord locker room he has a cyborg emoji to represent Parmborg because he kind of looks like a cyborg, having missing teeth, metal disfiguration on his face and down his shoulders along with a glaring set of red eyes (see picture below of Esa and try telling me he is one hundred percent human). He also talks pretty strangely and has a strangely concerning obsession with chicken parm. When we joke around in the locker room in the “party room” about good looking girls and trying to hook Esa up in his old age he insists that he is not into getting matched up with someone and that the love of his life in chicken parms. These are definitely another bunch of red flags and when you put it all together I feel like you could make a pretty good case as to why Esa is from another planet. It leaves me to wonder if his secret will ever come out.

[Image: Arnold-Schwarzenegger-Terminator-2.gif]

[Image: Arnold-Schwarzenegger-Terminator-2.gif]

(The every day intimidating look of Esa Parmborg, I definitely would not want to be lining up against him on the ice for an SHL game).

Word Count: 524

*CptSquall* · 03-10-2021, 05:30 PM

Honestly i would expect any aliens to just come out up front and say they are. We have had animals, Cryo frozen and reheated ancient people, robots, and anime characters. Who is to say we do or dont have any aliens aside from @manyhands ?

Sabremike · 03-10-2021, 05:46 PM

Bobby Sharp for sure, they are unreal at hockey and I wouldn't be surprised if they had some extraterrestrial enhancements when they play! Either way, they are one of the elite players so it wouldn't surprise me if they weren't born on Earth.

*gurbs* · 03-10-2021, 05:46 PM

ME - but make sure you don't tell anyone. Aliens actually are crazy good at hockey and that's why the a sudden jump in points this season.

Navigation

Extra Menu

About us