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*CptSquall* · 03-11-2021, 11:04 AM

I have it, the most simple one. Now that Ruslan Zaporozhets is an elite goal scorer he would easily qualify for the BEST UKRANIAN SHLer Award! That is right folks, with so few other Ukrainian players, Zapo is sure to take this one away with little to absolutely no competition. Of course the conditions to be in the runnings for this award are. 1. Be from the Ukraine and 2. put up the best stat line out of all Ukrainians. So easy, even Babushka could do it and she has not skated well in decades. I dont know how many people play here in the SHL that are from the old country, but i am confident that with his 36 goals, Ruslan would have no trouble winning this new award.
Although he is chasing some real awards too being a good player finally, i would still want this to be a thing.

soulja · 03-11-2021, 12:11 PM

An award that even players like Zlatan Ibrahimovic jr needs to be created for those that petrify the opponents with their simple gaze. This award shall be called the Ibrahimovic award and some call this petrification the ibrahimovic effect. This award is given to the player that just stands still on the ice and petrifies his opponents so that they are unable to move with a simple gaze. Although they cannot contribute much in terms of goals and effect, their presence on the ice is a key success factor to their respective teams. This is the reason why Ibrahimovic jr is such an excellent player because even though he only has a mediocre amount of points, 32 in 64 games, his +/- is +25. This means that his gaze is definitely working since he is a positive contribution to his team without contributing through goals or assists. Just simply gazing at his opponents will intimidate them so that one of his teammates can recover the puck and score the goal. Only a selected few can do this that is why it should be called the Ibrahimovic award.

notoriousTRON · 03-11-2021, 02:48 PM

Rhys Pritchard hasn't won an award since my first season in Junior hockey so I would create a new award that Rhys would definitely have a shot at winning. When I was looking at the numbers for this season, I saw that there isn't one area that Pritchard excels at and then it hits me. The Jack of All Trades But Master Of None Award. In pretty much every category tracked in the SHL, Pritchard is just kind of there. Not in the top 10 but not in the bottom 50. Pritchard is the most medium player in the league. If that isn't something to be celebrated, I don't know what is. That's the exact kind of player that I'd like to see 'honored' by the JOATBMON award. Honoring players that score tons of goals and points is boring. What about players that don't suck across lots of categories? How can we recognize them? Don't they deserve recognition for being better than IFA replacements? Some might say: "no, those players should strive to be better, we can't reward mediocrity." To those skeptics, I would say "shut up dummy, what do you know? Give me an award please!"

Sig Cred: Carpy, ML, RainDelay, Donini & Geekusoid

nyumbayangu · 03-11-2021, 03:01 PM

Everyone enjoys a good comeback story. Even on Sardang, we celebrated when our slaves rose up and took control of one of the harvesting centers for a day. Of course, we evaporated them all shortly afterwards, but seeing someone rise up from their own horrible self, and into a state of not-so-horrible, is a wonderful feeling. The award that I would create is called the G-Spot award, named because when you accelerate at a high rate of speed you experience a large number of what humans call 'G's and you also experience euphoria. This award would be given out to the player who has the largest difference in plus/minus in the regular season, as compared to the playoffs, in a positive direction. It is possible that my rookie season with the Vancouver Whalers set a record in this regards and as such all others who come after me will need to follow in my footsteps. So long and thanks for all the fish.

MrRuihu · 03-11-2021, 03:43 PM

My Bum Ass Player, Gerry Atrick, Could be awarded the Gerry Atrick Award of Sub EXcellence. (Gerry Atrick SEX, if you will.) The only way to obtain this award is to be an old man who registers more than 10 goals in a season (I hope I can do that LOL) and have less than 10 minutes in penalty time in the regular season as well. You see being so slow at moving on the ice it's really hard to take a penalty when you can't even catch up to most people. The only way I could win a goal scoring award or something like that is to cherry pick 90% of the time.

This award would go to me every year, since most good players wind up taking at least more than 10 penalty minutes, since they're way more aggressive on the puck, way more than Gerry Atrick could be. Also 10 goals cherry picked in 66 games? no problem, anyone could do that. hell most defenseman starting out wind up with at least 8. That's why I think there should be the Gerry Atrick award of Sub EXcellence. (SEX)

-191 words

*CementHands* · 03-11-2021, 04:50 PM

ISFL Claim

JuOSu · 03-11-2021, 05:00 PM

ISFL ultimus

*traphag* · 03-11-2021, 06:32 PM

PBE +3

***Aephino*** · 03-11-2021, 06:40 PM

My award is dedicated to all the hard workers in the SHL out there who don't get enough recognition. We already have the Most Dedicated Player award, but this one is slightly different. This award will be given to those who complete every single Primetime and 3 on 3 Showdown but never get a single one correct! I present to you the Dedicated Loser Award! I always feel like I'll scroll through the results and see lots of people who struggle in the Primetimes and Showdowns when the names and TPE are released every week. I used to be one of those losers, until I learned the sacred art of copying what everyone else is saying. An important, yet sometimes unspoken skill, that the Dedicated Loser does not utilize. This person will fight til the end for the sake of honesty and humility. This award will put the Most Dedicated Player to shame and will become a staple of the SHL.

GCool · 03-11-2021, 06:42 PM

I think I'd have a good chance of earning the Outlungus Award, for being the only remaining player on/around the Outlaws organization since its inception. Yes, it's with two different players, but I haven't been on another Juniors team since the franchise was created by Dangles way back in S45. It's been a wild ride, this season especially, so clearly the only award that I could win is an intangible or qualitative one. Yes, I'm second on the team in points, but we were all pretty down in this campaign. It's clear that Outlungus is on his way out as a marketing tool for the franchise as the team goes in another direction with new management. All the same, I've really enjoyed my time there over the [literal calendar] years. I even opted out of a bad situation with an SHL team to live out my entire 5 seasons in the J with Jerry Mander, so if there's anyone who knows commitment to the Outlaws, it's me. Outlungus Forever.

Renomitsu · 03-11-2021, 06:57 PM

Okay, hear me out here - User Most Likely to Be A Doctor Award. My player doesn't have many defining characteristics, especially as a defensive defenseman. It's not helped by the fact that Buffalo is a perennial playoff team for the time being. Overall, I don't have points, and because of my team's overall skill level, I don't get a ton of shots to block (which is totally a good thing!). So I think it's exceedingly likely my player wins any awards on the basis of her merits. However, I'm graduating medical school in a few months and figure out where I'm going for residency literally next week, so this award would be a cakewalk for me at some point. Even if there are other doctors (medical or otherwise) in the SHL, there are probably only so many of us (and even fewer that would be willing to provide proof), so by process of elimination I'd be effectively guaranteed to win it at some point!

***notorioustig*** · 03-11-2021, 07:13 PM

My idea for a new SMJHL award is the Kermit Murphy Award, which should of course be awarded to none other than Kermit Murphy in its inaugural season. The voting criteria for this award is really quite simple and unique - it shall be awarded to the player with the most blatant disregard for human life and wellbeing. As a player that's almost at the top of the league in hits, and (if I remember correctly) at the very top for hits/60 and total PIM, it is clear that Kermit Murphy is on the ice to do exactly one thing, and that thing is explicitly illegal in just about every area of life except on the ice. This award would be given to a player who sees no harm in taking a 2 minute penalty to scare the shit out of the opposition, or holding up a photograph of a referee's captive family to that referee after a questionable penalty call. The Murphy Award will give a new meaning to those players who just wish hockey was a little bit more like the olden days, except with more violence.

Thelastheraclid · 03-11-2021, 09:38 PM

Finally a god damn award just for me. Although my idea would not apply to me this year since the Baltimore Platoon are officially playoff bound, I would create a best defender on a non-playoff team. It would allow for a more equal standing in terms of stat comparison between noms. As it stands, defenders, especially defensive minded ones, on teams near the bottom of the league get overlooked. The common mindset seems to be "blocks don't matter at all because they are on a bad team". The reverse thinking is almost never applied to good teams though. Now the problem is solved. If you are on a team that constantly owns possession and spend the majority of the game in the offensive zone how much defense are you actually playing? Defenders on bad teams can now be recognized for the danger they put their bodies in every night knowing that the playoffs are probably out of reach.

Kyamprac · 03-12-2021, 12:19 AM

My friends from the ISFL have a running joke that I am toxic because I was traded a couple of times before even getting called up to the big league, so of course there is no other explanation. So I guess if I had to come up with an award my player could get, it would be something kind of silly like the "Most Locker Room Toxic" award, if only because it will make them laugh. It might sound like an unappealing award to some, but honestly I have kind of embraced it and it has become a fun joke. Also the award would serve a dual purpose in that it could be used as a meme award for circumstances such as my own, or in realistic situations where someone really is kind of toxic. Not that we want to encourage that kind of thing in the league I guess. But hey, that's why this is all hypothetical right?

Velevra · 03-12-2021, 01:04 AM

Unfortunately, we won’t be participating in the playoff this season so we have a long offseason before the awards come around. Some of the good players like Tibuk Soonika will be winning prestigious awards like the one for least goals against on the season so congrats to him. But some of us lesser fortunate players on Chicago deserve awards as well! Take Martijn Westbroek for example, he deserves an award for best runner up ever. He always finishes second consistently and this season he did so once again finishing second in goals in the last sim. Then there is Akira Ren, who is close to a 2000 TPE and was the worst player in terms of points on the team around game 50. He should get an award for best player in the last 16 games! Lastly Lassi Suhonen should get an award for being the cutest rookie of the year, I definitely have no bias there.

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