As the awards head, I am pretty sure that I could win any award I want.... Rookie of the year in my 4th season? Yep. McBride for goalie of the year even though I barely block shots? Oh yea. My biggest obstacle in that regard is 100% the fact that my co-members of the committee would never vote my sorry excuse for a player for anything. So it would just end up being a very sad nomination process for me. If I was somehow worthy of an award however, it would probably have been last season, for the Richan. I didnt improve nearly as much as some, but on the terms of improvement of a ppg basis, I was actually 3rd in the league. That meant nothing because I went from being a really bad player to a slightly less bad player, not from mediocre to superstar like the players usually are who win. Maybe in the future If I have a huge breakout season I can win that. With the positive direction that SEA is going, I could be in the running for something! Or maybe I will actually have to make up an award for my player to win. Ha.
Thanks Wasty, Carpy, JSS, TurdFerguson, Geekusoid and Awesomecakes for the sigs!
And the inaugural award for Commentators Bane goes to... *drumroll* Friedensreich Hundertwasser.
This award was created for all of the poor sods in the world who come across to North America to ply their trade who's names don't fall in line with your every day mark or David.
It is handed to the player who's name is butchered the most on air. A running tally is kept by independent adjudicators, scouring each game counting up the faux pas. This means the award is heavily favoured to players with difficult to pronounce names who also see a lot of ice time. At number 3 was Tokkulu Lakkamaa Who's name was mispronounced on average 11 times per game which was a very decent effort.
In 2nd was Austrian hero #A-rye Izzy. Now this may not look like the most difficult name but it was skewed latterly by a number of older Commentators calling him Pound A-rye Izzy. He came in at a respectable 14.5 times per game.
However the runaway winner was another Austrian Friedensreich Hundertwasser who doesn't even know how to pronounce his own name so what chance did the commentary team have. With 0 instances of commentary getting his name correct Hundertwasser took home the "glory"
Sigs by: Rum Ham, Orbiting Death x2, Enigmatic & Kyamprac
Some players do not have the greatest talent but they offer heart. Further, some players do not have a lot of heart but they look like they potentially have heart and provide. The “Potential to display some Heart to make up for lack of Skill” award is one that I think I could bring home. My player’s training is pretty consistent but there have been some missed opportunities. Thus, I like to think he shows potential for the heart that could drive a team to a championship run. People would look at my player and say: “Now there’s a guy that could possibly display some heart at some point in his career.” Honestly, I would feel honored to win this award and without it, I do not know if I can ever truly be satisfied with the career I have had. This is the award for all those talented enough to get some people’s hopes up but not actually produce the results.
I suggest an award for the best all arpund defenseman. We already have the best defenseman, which was typically awarded the the highest point getter as a D man, this brought on the best defensive defenseman as another award. So now I propose the best all around defenseman. After being a Nominee for both defensive awards last season, I feel like maybe that would be my place to shine. Although I'm sure Finn Rhys would have won it last year as he was also nominated for both awards, I feel like I would have a decent shot. I'm typically near the top in both offensive and defensive aspects of the game and may finally get my first award if this was an actual award. During my career I've always been the bridesmaid and never the bride, but I feel like if this award was created I may finally taste some of that personal success.
The teddy park fighting award for the most fights without a win. Our last captain, Teddy Park, was known for his extreme aggression and no fighting skill. However, he wasn't aware that he threw punch as slow as a guy doing house cleaning chores. The legends say that he still haven't won a single fight and every fight that he had the advantage was later divided by the linesmen before he could knock his opponent out. I don't know if Park will be the type of player to make his fighting skill transition that well from the Junior league to the SHL but I think he might need to salvage himself into a real goon with 20 fighting and 20 aggression.
The award would be given to the players with the lowest ratio of fights won/fights and I still believe Teddy Park would miss it. What a God damn legend this guy is.
By the way, Teddy is the best captain I could have ever hoped for, so this is all a friendly chirp
03-12-2021, 09:49 PM(This post was last modified: 03-12-2021, 09:57 PM by Fantobens.)
I guess it would be called the fanto award, or the bean. You win it for just being chill. But some times a dick. But mostly chill.
“You see bob?”
“Yeah he’s so chill, he should get a bean nom...”
All you have to do is not be a dick all the time. Just think, do I sound like waters? Yes? No bean for me....
But you may say that sounds stupid and completely arbitrary and not based in our random number generation belief structure. You are right, and also fuck you. You do not get a bean nom. Do not pass go. Do not collect two hundred dollars. you are being a dick.
I think this can really benefit the league in the following ways....
-team building
-portfolios
-diversified rates
-good
The more I think about this, we should do this right away. Have someone write something up. Send it over to my office and I will look it over and have it back to you in the morning.....no in the ......no.... no in the morning!
I would like to create the Arsene Leclarc award, awarded to the player with the lowest TPE that is solid enough to not be totally useless, but at the same time contribute as little as humanly possible. Basically this would become the replacement-level award to pick the most replacement level-esque player in the league with the lowest TPE. Not ROOKIE of the year, but just most solid-but-still-bad player of the season. I could see the battle for this award being intense but there are already built in Rel stats in the index, and there are so many different ways to pitch a player as replacement level... AND it would be an award that pretty much no top team player would be able to have a sniff at. It would be almost the perfect award for players getting called up into not-so-great teams. Almost like a pity award, but also with a lot of competition so it would actually be a good thing to win it as it would award a player for having a solid build, and having a good GM to set them up for success despite a lower TPE build. 199w
From a completely unbiased and non personal point of view I think that there should be more awards for defensemen in the simulation hockey league. Right now the vast majority of awards are won by forwards leaving defensemen out in the cold. We have the bojo biscuit award that goes to the best defensive defenseman and that is pretty clear cut. However the Stevens award is kind of nebulous in its description. It is supposed to be the best overall defenseman but it really just seems to go to the player with the highest amount of points. It would be better to disambiguate the award and make it the best offensive defenseman and use points and good advanced stats numbers as a method of awarding it and then add a new award for defensemen that excel at both ends of the ice. Right now defensemen that specialise towards the only offensive side of the game like Gabe Johnson and players that excel at the purely defensive side like Demaricus Smyth are lumped in with the guys that play both ends of the ice with equal aplomb like Dominic Montgomery and I think there should be an award representation for those players.
Credit to Ml002, King, Wasty, Carpy, Bruins10, Rum_Ham, Turd Ferguson, Ragnar and Enigmatic for the sigs.
The new award is called the The Most Kind of Well-Rounded Rookie of the Year. It’s awarded to the rookie who has showed the best all-around game if we neglect one aspect of their game. This year the winner is my player, Walton Stromberg. Walton was a decent scorer (17 goals, 14,91 % shot percentage). Decent passer (20 assists). Not super undisciplined (28 penalty minutes). Had some power play responsibility (1:00 per game, 4 PP points). Played also shorthanded (0:56 per game). Pretty close to being even on giveaways and takeaways (30 GvA / 24 TkA). Delivered some hits (46). Great amount of shot blocks (153, 4th most among all forwards!). And the best part is game ratings. GR 64, OGR 62, DGR 62. Now that is some well-roundedness! We only need to discount the plus/minus stat, which was -41 – the third worst among rookies. But besides that, it was a great season by Stromberg.
I, like many other people on this forum and in this league, am a huge sports fan. And one of my favorite sports, maybe even a little bit more than hockey to be completly honest, is football. And one thing I love that they do is they have the Mr. Irrelevant draft pick. So, for people who do not know who Mr. Irrelelvant is in the NFL. It is the last person who gets selected in the draft that year. So every draft pick has a Mr. Irrelevant.
Now, as an award, we would not be able o give it to the last player picked especially since most of the time they turn out to be inactive. But, how about we take the team who finishes the season with the most points and look at their roster. So, the BEST team in the SHL and award the player with the least amount of contribution to the team. Whether its a backup that played the minimum amount of games for them and has a losing record or a player that has like 10 points in 66 games and did nothing of good for the team and was carried by everyone around him. I think it would be a funny way to highlight and praise someone on a winning team. Like getting drafted last at the NHL all star team and winning a brand new car. It sucks but theres a prize that comes with it
If there was one award that Zoltan could possibly win it would be "most likely to get lost". Nobody said this had to be an award that you would be proud of. Zoltans previous seasons in the SHL you could tell her was just lost out there on the ice. He is also getting lost quite often off the ice as well. Being a cult follower, Zoltan can't do much on his own. If there is nobody for him to follow to the locker room, you may as well just bench him because everyone know's he's going to be late. Everyone jokes in the locker room about it and everyone is surprised when Zoltan actually shows up on time. Lucky for Zoltan someone usually gives him a ride to the rink or else he has to take an Uber and risk being spotted by a fan out in the wild. Rumor has it the Tampa guys are actually having a trophy made for him.