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Zomp · 03-14-2021, 11:13 PM

When thinking of a new possible award, I immediately had a few different ideas come to my mind. After some careful consideration and intricate analysis, I've decided that the next new award to be given out to players is a 'Participation Award.'
This is for those who don't really do much at all, but they do show up. At the end of the day, that's all that you really need. The Simulation Hockey League is about having fun and meeting new people. If you're showing up and playing your part in that, then you definitely deserve an award.
Although participation trophies are becoming quite common these days, they could help out some players. You see those who haven't won anything and are starting to lose interest, even an award as simple as this could help refresh their interest in the league and keep them hooked for years to come.

*Buster* · 03-14-2021, 11:14 PM

If I had to create an award that my bum-ass player Oliver Cleary could win, I would absolutely create the Oliver Cleary award for best player who is only showing up in the second half of the season. Every season Oliver Cleary starts out playing like terrible hockey and by the time the first half of the season is over, it looks like a major write-off. I think this season Cleary maybe had like 10 points overall during the midway point of the season. After we cross that threshold, Oliver Cleary decides to absolutely go off to finish the season within the top ten of defence scoring. Yeah Cleary looks great by the end of the season but could you imagine his stat line if he performed to that level all season. So for that, Oliver Cleary will win the award for the best second half of the season to finally reward him for all that hard work.

MyLittleHexx · 03-14-2021, 11:17 PM

The SHL is lacking an award that most other leagues have. Who can fit the most Bad Dragon dildos into their equipment bag. That's right, we are talking about who can stuff the most dildos into tight, smelly space. Around the league, players are packing in as many dildos as they can. Some players can surprise you, packing the most dildos into smaller equipment bags. The goalies have a distinct advantage, as their bags are larger and have wheels. Some players are crafty, and use lubrication to aid in their dildo stuffing. If you really want to pack them in, you need to know how to work the bags. Really stretch them out, work the smaller dildos into the crevices where the larger dildos can't fit. So why would Justin Keahi win this award? Easy, he uses all of the smallest dildos. You need to fit as many dildos as you can into a bag? You use the smallest dildo. You don't want to try and pack 20 monster dildos into a space hen 100 works just as well.

Nhamlet · 03-14-2021, 11:34 PM

I would make an award for the “most coat tails ridden” as part of showing how much you achieved only as a result of one other player who did all of the hard work for you during this season. The criteria and voting would be based on both the higher personal numbers of the “moocher”, relative to the “mooched”. On one hand, you could look at it almost as a supporting cast award, how did you help the person who leads the league in goals or points achieve that status. On the other in a more cynical fashion, I like to think that without their prowess, that players like mine would have never reached point totals and that with anybody else, would have a much lower statistical season as a result. In particular things like high assist totals are generally in favor of winning this award, while having extremely low shooting% to show how much of a bum players can be while still putting up some points. The lack of other stats such as hits, shotblocks to ensure the relative poor value also adds to this. Advanced stats would be more difficult to look at as they’re both very team and line dependent but sussing out those who have solid stats with the great players is generally a good way to go about finding an initial list.

StamkosFan · 03-14-2021, 11:36 PM

Let's make an Underachiever Award, which of course will be permanently dubbed the Wagstrom award. The twice-traded sniper who was the third highest user ever in TPE has yet to reach that 41 goal high that he did back in the first FHM season and it seems he never will. A perennial underachiever, assuming he can't win the award named after him, this year it would go to the New England Wolfpack's Jakub Bruchevski, who did so awesome last year and had high hopes for another monster fantasy year, but got booted to line 2 and suffered for it. So much talent but wasted on a line that is beneath his play level. He underperformed this year, but I know he's going to bounce back as soon as he gets better opportunities. In the future, any high TPE players who aren't at the point per game mark will be nominees, perhaps it will be a bit more slanted toward worse hockey clubs, you know, the ones who miss the playoffs by a long shot.

Briedaqueduc · 03-14-2021, 11:46 PM

I would give an award for Most Sportsmanlike in the SHL. I know it's already a thing in the SMJHL, but I think it would be neat to have in the SHL too. It rewards positive behaviors in the league, and I think this would help out clear some of the toxicity that is building. An award for most consistent could be cool too, so like an award for the player that has been the most consistently at the top of the league for the last couple seasons. Finally, I would give an award for the Best Performance. I know it would be very tough to find and would require so much research, but it would be cool to see who played the best game in the season. We could even split it in 3, forward, defense, goalie. It's not an easy award to give out and there would probably be way too many candidates and too many people would complain.

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bigbluex02 · 03-14-2021, 11:55 PM

PBE

Zombiewolf · 03-14-2021, 11:57 PM

a new award for Buffalo Stampede's most average winger Jaska Seppala would be hard because well he is just so average. That is when it hit me. What about the most average award? An award for a player who is not so great at well anything but also not so bad at anything. Someone who does his job decent enough to maintain a professional ice hockey job but does not stand out. I would call this the mild award. I feel like that name fits because it basically shows you arent hot but you also arent terrible because popeyes mild chicken is great. We could even got a sponsor for this award, Popeyes chicken. Jaska Seppala of the Buffalo Stampede would be an excellent candidate for this award but I also feel like so many players would also be. It is an award that I feel like would elevate the league

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TheBigSandeenie · 03-14-2021, 11:59 PM

I would like to take this time to announce Matty Sandeen as the first winner of the SMJHL Human Sacrafice award. Congratulations Matty! The Human Sacrafice award goes to the player who takes on the toughest match ups night in and night out allowing his teammates to shine against more favorable matchups. I believe Matty took on this role for the young Newfoundland defensive group and the only 425 defender on the squad and was tasked with matching up against opponents top lines ,alongside partner Pasta the Turtle, night in and night out. While Sandeen certainly had a solid season, finishing 4th in points among defensemen in the J, some of the advanced stats suggest he was either particularly unlucky or regularly facing tough matchups. The correct answer is likely a mix of the two although I think it was more of the later. With a PDO of 95.8, a mark that was second lowest among the teams defenders despite controlling play, evident by a CF% of 59.5%. Which is why I would argue Sandeen may have been a bit unlucky. Also seeing that his rel CF% is -3.0 suggests the tough matchups considering Sandeen is the most experienced defender on the squad and even put up a respectable stat line. Not to say Sandeen was elite or the reason Newfoundland had a successful regular season, but I think the fact that Sandeen wound up a -8 on while putting up 36 points while teammates Aleksandrs Balcers and Sabarro Torretta scored 32 points and 21 points while posting plus minus ratings of 44 and 40 respectively. I mean to take nothing away from the other two young Newfoundland defenders as both had terrific rookie seasons and were both huge reasons for Newfoundland's success. Nonetheless I can't help but argue that Sandeen certainly made life a little bit easier for the youngsters.

Snuffalupagus · 03-15-2021, 03:38 AM

This year's Wacky SMJHL Awards sees a newcomer to the scene - the towering power forward Rob Wright from Nevada's sMJHL team, the Battleborn. Rob's nomination in the category for "Stankiest Locker" has taken the world by stench.

From afar, Wright appears an average hockey player; tiny knees, nose like a hawk, toes like a rabbit, and the butt of a buffalo. But what makes Wright special is that he sweats mayonnaise. Imagine the struggle to remove your jersey after a bagged skate in practice when you're literally sauced inside. Further, the next day, after realizing the once-mayo-soaked jersey has had a day to marinate, Wright will then get nervous sweats about the stink of his locker, so his street clothes are ruined too. In the end, all this mayo-sweat apparel hangs out in Wright's locker and many teammates have complained and some of the unluckier ones were struck with quite a bad case of mayo-induced mumps.

For these reasons, we believe Rob Wright will take home Stankiest Locker this year at the Wacky Awards. Good luck, Rob! YOU STINK

Tayjay · 03-15-2021, 08:16 AM

PBE Affiliate

CrazyMojito · 03-15-2021, 09:07 AM

I don't think there is a chance in hell my player ever wins an award. Somehow in juniors I led the league in S55 playoff scoring (still an FHM playoff goals and points record) yet couldn't even win MVP of the playoffs. Fairly successful rookie seasons in the J (tied for team lead in points) and the SHL (top 3 offensively) and was never even in the conversation for ROTY. That is why the award I am creating for my bum-ass player is the Participation Award. I would say that my player has had pretty decent success in his young career but it seems that no matter how well he does, it seems to make no impact and matter very little. That playoff run saw me score 26 points but that wasn't enough to bring home the Four Star Cup. At the end of the tournament if you aren't the champion you were just a participant. At the end of my player's career, he will always just be PId 64 in the index who participated that season.

***honkerrs*** · 03-15-2021, 09:30 AM

I think I have came up with an incredibly prestigious award that would be saught after by everyone in the SHL currently. This award would be called the Nacho Award. WTF nachos? What's that have to do with the SHL? Well the prestigious Nacho Award would go to the best either 13th forward or backup goalie in the league. Someone who doesn't play frequently gets to eat lots of nachos on the bench or in the press box so that is where the name comes from. This year I believe that Juni Panda @juniped is the only 13th forward in the league and therefore probably ate the most nachos by far. His stat line is also pretty absurd for the 4 games he played. 1P, +5, 1 Fight, 7 Hits, 106 PDO, 72% CF. His advanced stats are seriously unheard of. All of this with also eating nachos for 62 games of the seasons. Congrats Juni on your Nacho Award, well deserved

Jobin · 03-15-2021, 12:07 PM

Bum-ass players don't deserve awards, however the task is for me to create one and so I shall. My bum-ass award for bum-ass players is going to be for the most bummiest-assiest player. The real question is how to measure bum-assedness. Do you take the bum-ass with the most PIMs? No, they obviously were trying too hard, clearly not a bum-ass. What about the bum-ass with the least time on ice average? No, they can't help that they are so bad that the coach doesn't want to play their bum-ass. The way to measure bum-assedness in my opinion is to take the bum-ass with the lowest plus/minus and slap a sticker on a beer can for them. The bum-ass award for being a bum-ass on the ice. I'm going to name the award after the most bum-assed player of recent memory. With a staggering -87 in season 53 I present the bum-ass Liam O'Callaghan Award for the most bum-ass player. Congrats.

TomHanks · 03-15-2021, 01:43 PM

Jakob Hamr is occasionally a contender for awards surrounding generally having a low center of gravity and being a grit grinder, often near the top of the rankings in hits and blocked shots. This season however, the hits numbers were a little lower than normal, so that takes that out of the equation. Blocked shots were down a titch as well but that’s mostly because Tampa surrendered fewer shots than normal. 11th in hits, 3rd in shots blocked, 5th in takeaways is a solid stat line, but there are people who are better generally across the board there. He’s also 100% in fight wins with 1 fight that occurred and a resounding victory from his side. But that isn’t enough to push Hamr over Odelein III in a grit grinder race. Instead, this season’s award for Jakob is the “how the heck did you even do that” award, for getting a 12 minute penalty in one clean maneuver and still managing to be the first star of the game.

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