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*Otrebor13* · 06-21-2021, 10:43 AM

My parody would be of the Backstreet Boys' song Everybody (Backstreet's Back) but instead it would be Hockey's Back and it would be played at the first sim of the preseason after the offseason ends and everyone is happy to get back to playing hockey games.

Bayley · 06-21-2021, 10:56 AM

You, with your words like slashes
And high sticking and spearing that you use against me
You have knocked me off my feet again
Got me feeling like I'm nothing
You, with your yelling like nails on a chalkboard
Calling me out when I am winning
You, pickin' on the stronger man

***DrunkenTeddy*** · 06-21-2021, 11:13 AM

I like big tasks and I cannot lie
You other brothers can't deny
That when a slash walks in with an itty bitty post
And a high tpe thing in your face
You get sprung

|

soulja · 06-21-2021, 11:14 AM

Are you ready Men? (Aye, aye Captain)
I can't hear you (aye, aye Captain)
Ooh
Who plays in SHL, in the province of Quebec?
(Montreal Patriotes)
Newly Emerged and ready to Wreck
(Montreal Patriotes)
If you are drunk at the bar and they say 'Last Call'
(Montreal Patriotes)
Then drop them gloves and get ready to brawl
(Montreal Patriotes) ready?
Montreal Patriotes
Montreal Patriotes
Montreal Patriotes
Montreal Patriotes

*leviadan* · 06-21-2021, 11:29 AM

I said-a puck, drop, the hockey, the hockey
To the hip hip hock-a you don't stop the puck
It to the bang-bang shooty, say up dump the chasey
To the rhythm of the shooty, and deke

Now what you see is not a test: I'm passin' 'round the puck
And me, my moves, and my team are gonna try to win the cup
See, I am Wonder Burlok, and I'd like to say hello
To the TEX, to the BUF, the BAP
And the HAM, the MAN and LAP let's go!
But first I gotta bang bang the bodies in the corners
Say up jump the checkers to the bang bang bodies
Let's rock, you don't stop
Rock the forecheck that makes your body rock
Well, so far you've heard my voice, but I brought a friend along
So next on the mike is my man Fanto... come on Fant sing that song

***Fantobens*** · 06-21-2021, 11:32 AM

Check it out, I'm the F-A-N-TO, the M-V-P and the rest is O-K-Y’all
You see, I go by the code of the doctor of the check and here to hit you in the wall
You see I'm six foot one and I'm tons of fun and Im a menace on the D
You see I got more hits than Muhammad Ali and I punch so viciously
I got fans in the stands , I got two big fists, and the puck I will whack
I got my Challenge Cup sticking out my sunroof Cadillac
So after games, I stay in for the night, which is really most of fall
I got a color TV so I can see the Falcons play hockey y’all
Hear me talking 'bout checkbooks, credit cards, more money than a sucker could ever spend
But I wouldn't give a sucker or a bum from Chicago, only fists till I win it again!

***Ohtaay*** · 06-21-2021, 11:34 AM

Puoli - Dort Sulfurgort

Puoli, Puoli, Puoli oh
Like Puoli, Puoli, Puoli no
Like Puoli, Puoli, Puoli oh
They said we'd never win, win
Puoli, Puoli, Puoli oh
Like Puoli, Puoli, Puoli no
Like Puoli, Puoli, Puoli oh
They said we'd never win, win

This is a highly thought about parody based around Justin Biebers song "Baby", in this parody Puoli our GM takes the spot of "baby". In Justins song he talks about the girl he wants, the girl he thought he would never have. In this rendition, Puoli is the praised one for achieving the challenge cup that many people doubted Texas could achieve this past season.

BrewskyBoy · 06-21-2021, 11:40 AM

Sugar, We're Not Goin' Down

(Renegades parody of Fall Out Boy's Sugar, We're Goin' Down)

We're not goin' down, down in an earlier round
And Sugar, we're goin' out champions
I'll be your number one with a trophy
A loaded Wachter slap-shot, rip it and score it

ByrdeMan · 06-21-2021, 11:55 AM

Du
Du Hoc
Du Hoc Key
Du Hoc Key
Du Hoc Key on boards
Du Hoc Key on boards
Du Hoc Key on boards it's a sim u lation

Will you register on my team
It's not tampering I swear

NEIN

(Du Hast - Rammstein)

dankoa · 06-21-2021, 11:56 AM

I would create a parody song called “Regulate (the SHL)”. It would be set to the tune of Regulate by Warren G and Nate Dogg and would describe the process of how HO and the league owners regulate the SHL through a system of checks and balances and application of appropriate punishments

Bfine · 06-21-2021, 12:00 PM

Bad Boy by Red Velvet (ZERK Edition)

Hey
Who dat who dat who dat boy
Coming in the SMJ talking slick
Tell me cuz I like that I like that
Yeah I know what to do with the J

Oh they don’t they don’t they don’t know
I can take em head to head go toe to toe
Oh If you play we fight back we fight back
I’ll show you who’s in control

Cuz I, I know how to make Toast cry
Score on em looking in my eyes
That’s what we're doing here tonight (Ooh oh)

Every time Zerks come around
Notha Timber down
Got em like ooh ooh (Oh-eh-oh-eh-oh)
Knock em out the playoffs like ooh ooh (Oh-eh-oh-eh-oh)
But they come back another year

Just one shot from us lights out
Watch Maine hit the ground
Got em like ooh ooh (Oh-eh-oh-eh-oh)
Knock em out the playoffs like ooh ooh (Oh-eh-oh-eh-oh)
I shot another Timber down

Whoa whoa
We shot another Timber down
Whoa whoa

Put the puck round our stick
We gonna tell Newfoundland what they wanna hear
Running through Maine's mind
Get you hooked, I’ll have you shedding tears
Oh no Maine this ain’t a fair fight
I’m winning you over alright

We have no apologies
We didn't mean to leave you hanging on a string
The more you wanna fight us (Fight us)
You fight us (Fight us)
The more we will pull you right back

Cuz we, we know how to make the Timber cry (Timber cry)
Score on em down looking in my eyes
That’s what we're doing here tonight (Tonight)

Every time Zerks come around
Notha Timber down
Got em like ooh ooh (Oh-eh-oh-eh-oh)
Knock em out the playoffs like ooh ooh (Oh-eh-oh-eh-oh)
But they come back another year

Just one shot from us lights out
Watch Maine hit the ground
Got em like ooh ooh (Oh-eh-oh-eh-oh)
Knock em out the playoffs like ooh ooh (Oh-eh-oh-eh-oh)
I shot another Timber down

Oh Maine you’re gonna know what it feels like
To be free and leave the playoffs
Trying so hard just to move on
It’s only a matter of time

Maine I think you should know
That we ain’t like all the others
We're making you go
I’m making you go play some golf

Every time Zerks come around
Notha Timber down
Got em like ooh ooh (Oh-eh-oh-eh-oh)
Knock em out the playoffs like ooh ooh (Oh-eh-oh-eh-oh)
But they come back another year

Just one shot from us lights out
Watch Maine hit the ground
Got em like ooh ooh (Oh-eh-oh-eh-oh)
Knock em out the playoffs like ooh ooh (Oh-eh-oh-eh-oh)
I shot another Timber down

Skeleton Party · 06-21-2021, 12:06 PM

Almost NOLA,
Poor Manhattan,
No defensemen,
Forward corps is lackin'

Goalie's bad there,
Five hole like Swiss Cheese,
Holding on to young guns,
Hope for good draftees

Tanky Road,
Take us home,
To the place,
We belong,
First round draft picks,
Shared depression,
Take us home,
Tanky Road

Out of Toast · 06-21-2021, 12:34 PM

Party in Newfoundland (Party in the U.S.A)

I hopped off the plane in Newfoundland
With a stick and my Jersey
Welcome to the land of drunken excess (woah)
Am I gonna fit in?
Jumped in the cab, here I am for the first time
Look to my right, and I see Signal Hill
This is all so crazy
Everybody seems like alcoholics

My tummy's turnin' and I'm feelin' kinda home sick
Too much drinking and I can't keep up
That's when the locker room turned on the radio
And Our goal song was on
And Our goal song was on
And Our goal song was on

So we put our hands up
They're playing our song, the alcohol starts flowing away
I'm double fisting my beers like, yeah
Movin' my hips like, yeah
I got my hands up, they're playing our song
They know we're gonna win this game
Yeah, it's a party in Newfoundland
Yeah, it's a party in Newfoundland

Get to the rink in my taxi cab
Everybody's looking at me now
Like, "Who's that new guy, that's not drunk yet
He gotta be new in town"
So hard with all this pressure on me
It's definitely not a Ottawa party
'Cause all I see are drunk teammates
I guess I never got the memo

My tummy's turnin' and I'm feelin' kinda home sick
Too much drinking and I can't keep up
That's when the DJ dropped our favorite tune
And our goal song came on
And our goal song came on
And our goal song came on

So we put our hands up
They're playing our song, the alcohol starts flowing away
I'm double fisting my beers like, yeah
Movin' my hips like, yeah
I got my hands up, they're playing our song
They know we're gonna win this game
Yeah, it's a party in Newfoundland
Yeah, it's a party in Newfoundland

Feel like we might get in a fight (in a fight)
The keg is getting low tonight (low tonight)
Something stops us every time (every time)
The GM's bring in a new one and we feel alright

So I put my hands up
They're playing our song, the alcohol starts flowing away
I'm double fisting my beers like, yeah
Movin' my hips like, yeah (ooh yeah)
I got my hands up, they're playing our song
They know we're gonna win this game (win this game)
Yeah, it's a party in Newfoundland
Yeah, it's a party in Newfoundland

*Zerg* · 06-21-2021, 01:28 PM

So close, no matter how far
Couldn't be much more than Four Stars,
We chase the cup, that's who we are,
And nothing else matters!

Never opened a lane this way,
The game is ours, we play it our way,
All these words, we don't just say,
And nothing else matters!

Goals I seek, and I find in you,
Every game we hit someone new,
Open team-mates, a different view,
And nothing else matters!

Never cared what the refs dooooo,
Never cared what the refs knowwww,
but I know!

So close, no matter how far,
Couldn't be much more than Four Stars,
We chase the cup, that's who we are,
And nothing else matters!

Never cared what the refs do,
Never cared what the refs know,
But I know!

Never opened a lane this way,
The game is ours, we play it our way,
All these words, we don't just say,
And nothing else matters!

Goals I seek, and I find in you,
Every game we hit someone new,
Open team-mates, a different view,
And nothing else matters!

Never cared what the refs say,
Never cared for games they play,
Never cared for what they do,
Never cared for what they know,
And I know! Yeah, yeah yeah!

*Furious air-guitar solo on hockey stick*

So close, no matter how far
Couldn't be much more than Four Stars,
We chase the cup, that's who we are,
And nothing else matters!

[294 words, gib bonus teeps]

Tate · 06-21-2021, 01:41 PM

Here's a little song I wrote
You might want to sing it note for note
Don't worry, play hockey
On ice we can have some trouble
But when you worry you make it double
Don't worry, play hockey
Don't worry, play hockey now

(Ooh, ooh ooh ooh oo-ooh ooh oo-ooh) play hockey
(Ooh, ooh ooh ooh oo-ooh ooh oo-ooh) don't worry, play hockey
(Ooh, ooh ooh ooh oo-ooh ooh oo-ooh) don't worry
(Ooh, ooh ooh ooh oo-ooh ooh oo-ooh) play hockey
(Ooh, ooh ooh ooh oo-ooh ooh oo-ooh) don't worry, play hockey

Ain't got no place to lay your skates
Somebody came and took your place
Don't worry, play hockey
The coach say might be benched
I say we will get revenge
Don't worry, play hockey
Oh, ooh ooh ooh oo-ooh ooh oo-ooh don't worry, play hockey

This is a play on the song, "Don't worry, be happy," and would be a good anthem for people to sing along to and brighten their mood.

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