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iamslm22 · 07-04-2021, 10:35 PM

https://probaseballexperience.jcink.net/...ntry334017

ml002 · 07-04-2021, 10:36 PM

Due to his role on his teams, Alf has always struggled with finding products that he feels fits his brand and who he is. The last one he tried to sponsor were these window blockers for cars that was supposed to block out the sun and keep your car cool in the summer. Alf has made a career of getting in the way and blocking views of opposing goalies so he thought this was a slam dunk! However this product was faulty and actually redirected the light inside and off the covers on the windows. This lead to them not keeping the heat out and causing it to reflect the light. This led to multiple accidents as the refected light off the covers would blind drivers has they drove by the parked vehicle in the day. This lead to a complete recall and eventual shut down of the producer. Alf forgot he rarely blocks the whole field of view.

Credit to Copenhagen, Wasty, FlappyGiraffe, InciteHysteria, and caltroit_red_flames
[Image: MM4nqx6.png]

***boom*** · 07-04-2021, 10:36 PM

To ring in a big new contract extension, William Hartmann entered an endorsement with a local sporting goods store in Edmonton, as being one of the higher-profile players on the SHL team meant lots of eyes on his play. The deal would see Hartmann design a line of skates that would be sold in the store, putting the superstar touch on the ware. Replicas of the Swiss winger's stick styles would also be sold in the shop so that kids could imitate #47 in their road hockey games. Unfortunately, the manufacturer subcontracted the production to a company in Venezuela, and there is currently a lawsuit against both the store and the manufacturer for an issue in which the blade holders snapped off the boot when skating at high speed, allegedly causing at least seventeen broken femurs and several bruised ribs from high-speed impacts with the boards, the net, and other players. The skates have been recalled in embarrassing fashion, and it is unsure when they will hit the market again.

***39alaska39*** · 07-04-2021, 10:37 PM

I was super excited to land my first endorsement deal back in the day. Kellogg’s decided that my status as a first round pick was perfect for introducing a Czech cereal to the marketplace. If you’ve never heard of this situation that occurred, consider yourself lucky because it was a complete and total mess when it happened. The cereal tasted bad, even to me, and among other things, it made multiple people sick to an extreme degree. If you happen to still own an unopened package of the cereal, I expect it to be a collector’s item eventually as Kellogg’s pulled the cereal from shelves officially because of the making people sick, but never planned to reintroduce it and destroyed their remaining stock. So all in all, I had a pretty crazy first endorsement experience but it made it so that all other situations are improved in the future situations I may experience with products.

Alex Winters (retired)
Matej Winters (retired)
Dominik Winters
S45 Jesster Trophy Winner
Challenge Cup Winning Goal Club: S52

JNH · 07-04-2021, 10:44 PM

So I get off the ice and pull my skates off before my phone starts buzzing in my pants pocket. I scrambled to turn it on and it’s my agent calling me - shit am I getting traded? No dice - instead I had done a product deal for a new line of hard seltzer’s. It wasn’t simply a product deal, I consulted with them in designing the beverage itself. First I tried out a number of flavours and we eventually settled on mango. The only issue was that in taste testing all the flavours I ended up getting just a littttle tipsy. When I was working my way through the flavours I ended up tanking a couple litres of the seltzer’s and they stupidly had me inputting data. I was a tad tipsy and added a zero somewhere along the line so instead of 6% seltzer’s we were actually giving people 60% seltzer’s. It’s all fun and games till the boys weekend at the cottage ends up with involuntary IVbags and stomach pumpings. Last time I get trusted with inputting numbers.

MyLittleHexx · 07-04-2021, 10:48 PM

"Recalled? For what? So there's a little blood that spirts out, I don't see what the big deal is. Look, just make sure I get paid, alright? What? Of course I want my money, I did the product placement deal. It's not my fault they can't make cereal that doesn't spew blood with each bite. Look, just get me my money."

That's right, Justin Keahi was supposed to be the next big box cereal star. Things went wrong though. Somehow during the boxing process, his box of cereal was filled with a cereal meant for the metal band GWAR. It being cereal for GWAR, the main feature of this cereal was the spewing of blood with each bite, as reference to the copious amounts of blood that is fired onto the audience during their concerts. Now SHL fans everywhere are having awful experiences as they bite into Keahi Flakes, only to get a mouthful of blood. Neat.

RedCapeDiver · 07-04-2021, 10:50 PM

So a few months ago Adam Scianna's agent got him a product deal to advertise some new Ice Hockey stick tape that is supposed to be better at keeping the puck on your stick. Not only was Adam happy about the deal for the money, but he also hoped that the free products he got earlier that the public release would help him out in the SHL as he has lead the SHL the last few seasons in giveaways. So Adam has secretly been using the tape in the SHL even though it hasnt been approved by HO, but unfortunately for him it hasnt helped, he is currently 2nd in giveaways with 26 in 24 games, only one behind the leader of First Name Last Name. So then later it came out that the SHL HO determined that the tape would not be not allowed to be used since it was determined that the company exploited the labor of all the IA 155 TPE players that have been rotting in the SMJHL player database section

***Hallsy*** · 07-04-2021, 10:53 PM

This is an urgent news report. Hugh Jazz supplements were recalled due to the fact that they had a guarantee to give people thicc asses and well they underdelivered. The products promsied customers that they will have natural ass growth but that simply isn't what happened, some customers actually got trolled and got ass deduction. I feel like this was done so people couldnt get an ass bigger than Hugh jazz and He had a secret plan to make his ass look like the biggest in the world and the shl. But who knows hoenstly, there will be a lot of questions coming to hugh jazz's way and to the company that made them. Here is a quote from Hugh Jazz : "I was told by my agents that this product will help people have bigger asses and well, I just signed the contract to market them and be affiliated with them. I am disappointed with myself for not using the product and double-checking. I was scared to use the product due to peds as they weren't considered to be 100% safe. "

Jumbobone19 · 07-04-2021, 10:56 PM

Lord Raiden here to bring you the new latest and greatest pre-workout, Lightning Shock. Designed to take your workout above and beyond to the ultimate level. Lightning Shock will give you unlimited energy for whenever you need it. This formulated blend will let you store the energy and as soon as you need it boom you are good to go. Lightning Shock will let you fly through your workout flawlessly, with no competition.
Disclaimer: Lightning Shock is being recalled due to consumers reporting excessive amounts of anal seepage. Also there are reports clients spend all night on the can because they cannot sleep because of the extreme amount of caffeine in their system.

Lord Raiden had to make a public apology about the "Lightning Leakage" issue. Promising that Lightning Shock will come back stronger than ever after a serious reevaluation and reconstruction of the formula. But what a better time to support his new product as well. "Thunder Clap", the ultimate laxative, designed to clean out your bowels like you have just been electrified.

supertardis101 · 07-04-2021, 10:58 PM

Billy Brooks only endorses the most tough and rough boxing gloves and fighting equipment. Billy loves to fight on the ice and he loves to get into fights irregardless so he likes to make his mark where he can in making a impact on the world of fighting. One year he endorsed a brand of boxing gloves that were enchanted by the devil to be evil. They were like some twighlight zone stuff where like the injuries you would inflict on the other person with your glove would then happen to you after in extreme misconcidences. Its pretty damn cool, but it is not safe for the consumer market. Soon big fighters all over the world were losing arms and noses and having their arms broken all the damn time. It was a distaster and the Billy Brooks name was put to shame for hexing so many people into a weird and strange paradox in which they could fight but only with feeling the implications of their actions. Real screw up on the marketing team.

***CampinKiller*** · 07-04-2021, 11:00 PM

Jonathon Hagan was excited to get the deal to be the face behind the all new Drinkers Set. The Set is custom made, featuring all the objects, tables, die, and other things that the serious drinking game connoisseur requires. It is customizable in several different ways, from just being personalized, all the way to favorite sports teams, athletes, celebrities, etc. There was one major issue that has forced a complete recall of the product until further testing is done. That problem is that the product is incredibly addicting, to the point of leading to cases of alcohol poisoning due to its addictiveness. People who purchases the Set reported that once they started playing beer die, beer pong, chandelier, or any other of the drinking games featured in the Set, that they could not stop drinking unless they were physically restrained or otherwise unable to continue. As a result, the Set is being recalled by the manufacturer until the issue can be resolved.

suavemente · 07-04-2021, 11:04 PM

*Flowseidon* · 07-04-2021, 11:09 PM

Brogen was always an inquisitive fellow, and always wanted to do more regarding the research of the shadow office behind the head office that is controlling the league. As he became more and more involved, and more visible in his attempts to spy on this organization Spy Cam Inc reached out to him to make a Jeff Brogen custom model. This model would be implanted in the eye of a bobblehead of their favourite conspiracy obsessed hockey player, Jeff Brogen.

Thoiugh it was developped in Brogen's mind with the intention of bringing down shadowy organizations, and criminal organizations, the box art immediately painted the camera in a much more negative light, appearing to have Brogen creepily watching the neighbours, exes, and friends of the owner. This only blossomed into early use by stalkers and a number of other creeps. Quickly after, Brogen needed to work quickly with his team to ensure the removal of that product and strip of his endorsement

Cobbenstein · 07-04-2021, 11:12 PM

One morning last offseason while Patrick Shepherd was on his morning run down on the docks in Portland, Maine he was approached by some of the local fishermen about endorsing a weekly subscription box. The local fishermen were catching too many fish for the town to use before they spoiled so they wanted to start a program to mail freshly caught fish out weekly to some of the local non-coastal towns in Maine. Shepherd was eager to help the locals out so he provided his name and acted in a few commercials promoting the box. The commercials were a hit and within the first months thousands had signed up. Unfortunately the local fishermen in Portland were great at catching fish, but not great at logistics when it came to send stuff out. It turned out many of the fish were being packaged with absolutely nothing to help keep the fish cool during transit. This lead to many customers receiving rotten fish and getting sick when still trying to consume their freshly caught fish. A big recall had to put out and refunds had to be given. The weekly subscription box had been so popular that Shepherd had to record several more commercials reminding people to throw out and not cook and rancid fish they had received. Overall it made for an eventful offseason for Patrick and he ended up leaving for Philadelphia a few weeks early so he could go out on the town without having to worry about upset or sick customers.

***trashae*** · 07-04-2021, 11:16 PM

Whew, it’s been quite the week for our hero Teddy Murphy. First there was the Wikipedia fiasco that turned out to be edited by his former SMJHL GMs @Naosu and @Katth, but the week didn’t stop there by any means. Murphy recently filmed a promo for local Toyota dealer Antwerpen. What Teddy (and his team at large) didn’t realize is that Mr. Antwerpen was about to be the defendant in a massive sexual assault civil suit spanning several decades back to his time as an associate. The fallout and sheer number of accusers doesn’t look good and Murphy is now the face of an ad campaign that the Jack Antwerpen refuses to pull from local tv. Since the ads started to air showing Teddy and Jack embracing to sell Jack’s famously good deals the press has really honed in on the public perception and persistently asking questions about how close the two are and wanting Murphy’s official statement on the matter. Murphy’s team of course has stayed on the straight and narrow trying to distance the player from the mogul and put faith in the US justice system to resolve the issue to the satisfaction of all parties involved.

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