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***Ace*** · 08-30-2021, 08:49 AM

I establish a highly complex counter-heist in the spirit of Home Alone. When these schmucks show up, they'll all be robbed for everything that they're worth. We're talking marbles, rubber band traps, the whole shebang,

MN_Moosey · 08-30-2021, 09:08 AM

Obviously the way to defend my take is to hide it in a deep dark dungeon in a cave. No one would ever think to look there. I simply put a trespassing sign out front and call the police on whoever enters my property.

Kraagenskul · 08-30-2021, 09:10 AM

I mean it's simple: I am going to hide it all under my mattress. It is such an obvious place to look they will never think to look there at all! Especially since I will have a separate highly advertised "secret vault" that will they will attempt to break into instead. That contains 400 million in counterfeit bills. So when they try to use them they will get busted and I will not even have to get the cops involved on my end!

*Drokeep* · 08-30-2021, 09:25 AM

The best way to protect the cash is spend it. So I’m buying everything I can and putting 100 million in a savings bank account with nice interest returns. I’m set for life!

notoriousTRON · 08-30-2021, 09:25 AM

Obviously the first step is to not trust the SHL banking system. I'll be making a very large withdraw. Rather than keeping the cash, which is constantly deflating with new users being added to the site and being given handouts, I will take my SHL bucks and put them in crypto. But not Bitcoin or Etherium like some noob. I'm going straight to shitcoins. HIGH RISK HIGH REWARD BABY!!!! When I have my own private island I'm not inviting any of the haters to parties.

Sig Cred: Carpy, ML, RainDelay, Donini & Geekusoid

3lewsers · 08-30-2021, 10:02 AM

I will place all of my money into turquoise jewelry futures. No thief will want to deal with that ever-changing market. It will be a hidden goldmine. My family will cash out and be rich beyond comprehension in about 5 decades.

Seymour · 08-30-2021, 10:05 AM

jokes on the thieves because the money is already gone - i have invested it into a bean plant and now mass producing beans at a rate never seen before.

29 words

*WithTheMoose* · 08-30-2021, 10:31 AM

As it turns out, defending is where Adelie is strong! He would obviously simply pay to have his friends and family from back home brought in and now with thousands of Adelie penguins positioned and ready to go off like alarm clocks, there'd be no chance of losing his money.

CrazyMojito · 08-30-2021, 10:34 AM

I'd infiltrate the ranks of the SHL heist crew, and taint their socialist minds with the power of money. After they are corrupted I'd have them whack each other so there is only myself and one other person left. I'd then reveal my identity to them and then lock them in the safe with the money (money is safely out of reach) for them to die a slow death. Nobody touches my money. Nobody.

*ZootTX* · 08-30-2021, 10:51 AM

The best plans are the simplest. I'd be storing my loot in a subterranean vault complete with armed guards and vicious guard dogs. Then I'd surround the topside part of the vault with a giant electric fence and a moat full of sharks.

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