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Cup Noodle in 3D: (Desirable Draft Destinations)
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VulfzillaRegistered Senior Member
Cup Noodle in 3D (Desirable Draft Destinations)
Hello, my name is Cup Noodle. If you aren’t yet familiar with me, let me tell you a little about myself. I’m currently plying my trade on the Anchorage Armada after signing with them shortly after this year’s entry draft. As a defender, I feel like I’ve had a quality rookie season, tallying 7 goals and 32 assists for a team while also helping in front of goal with 64 hits and some blocked shots. Without trying to sound like a douche, I think that these numbers, my current TPE (270), and my locker room activity will make me a decently sought after prize in the upcoming SHL draft. When one looks at draft coverage however, most of the focus is on which team is going to select who, and if the player will be a good fit. I want to take a moment to reflect on the flip side- where do I want to go? I realize I don’t have much say, if any at all, in this matter, but it will still be fun to explore. I’ve created what I call the ID index (Ideal Destination) and it breaks down into 4 components. These are the 4 most important things (in no particular order) to finding the ideal destination in my opinion. Disclaimer: Unfortunately the most important thing- the Locker Room activity- is the one thing I am unable to measure without being invited to locker rooms around the league. So that will have to be eliminated from the index for the time being.
I’ll rank each component 1-5 for a total possible points of 20. Lets get it on! In reverse order of regular season standings: Winnipeg Aurora  B/L: Not a huge fan of the name tbh, and while the color scheme is nice, I’m not a fan of branding that doesn’t allow for a cute mascot. What would the mascot be? Maybe green man across a dark backdrop? 2/5 HC: Despite losing the Jets for a couple decades, Winnipeg is cold and loves its hockey. 4/5 RH: Dear God. They were so bad. (I just typed more words than they had wins this season: 0/5 PT: The top D pairings are pretty well filled out with Johnny Shuffleboard and co.. but I could see myself working into pairing 3 or 2 in a couple seasons pretty easily. 4/5 Total: 10/20 Manhattan Rage  B/L: If the Bull is the mascot because of the Stock Market, thats a point for creativity, but I don’t love the color scheme and the actual team name is really meh for me.. 1/5 HC: Its up north, but it doesn’t feel like a hockey city to me, despite it being NY. Idk I can’t explain it. 2/5 RH: baaad. Bad Bad Bad…0/5 PT: This team is really missing some depth at Defense. I could see myself jumping up the depth chart pretty quickly here if I stay on my grind. 4/5 Total: 7/20 Montreal Patriotes  B/L: Don’t love the coloring, but the name is decent and the logo is definitely not the worst. 3/5 HC: Possibly THE hockey city. 5/5 RH: Much better than the last two teams we’ve looked at. But you have to take into account the GM change and wonder what that will mean for the team going forward. 2/5 PT: Another team with a loaded top D pairing, but some issues beyond that. I feel like I could begin to work my way in with another couple of years in the juniors. 4/5 Total: 14/20 New Orleans Specters  B/L: Okay, I don’t hate it.. But this honestly just reminds me of the 1996 film The Phantom starring Billy Zane. The color, the logo, the everything. Also, I feel like the name would be 1000 times cooler if it was Spectres. 2/5. HC: Nothing says hockey like 100 percent humidity, hurricanes, and being below sea-level. 0/5 RH: While they were a little better this year, they finished last in seasons 58-60. 1/5 PT: A solid top pairing, but another group I feel like it wouldn’t be difficult to break into in a couple seasons. 4/5 Total: 7/20 San Francisco Pride  B/L: Bruh. This is straight ripoff of the Orlando Pride women’ soccer team is it not? Same logo, same color scheme, same name? LAME. 0/5 HC: I don’t hate it. It seems a little weird, but if you’re going for a non-traditional hockey city this is a cool one to have it in. 3/5 RH: I had to go back to S. 53 to even find a top half finish in the league. Not Great. 1/5 PT: D pairs are getting nicer as we go up. Gonna start getting a little tougher to compete for time. 3/5 Total: 7/20 Minnesota Monarchs  B/L: I kinda like this one! Alliterative name. Its original, but not one of those team names without the S on the end that was so popular in the 90s (see MLS). Color scheme isn’t the worst but I’m just not a big fan of purple and gold. 3/5 HC: Yeah its Minnesota! They like hockey there! I’ve seen Mighty Ducks! 5/5 RH: This team hasn’t been awful,but hasn’t won a single playoff game in the last 8 seasons. 1/5 PT: Another decent group of Dmen, but a couple of seasons and I could easily be vying for 3rd or 2nd pairing. 3/5 Total: 12/20 Seattle Argonauts  B/L: Yeahhh now we’re getting there. This is nice all the way around. Solid name, color scheme and logo. Also bonus point for boat. 6/5 HC: Hockey in Seattle is about to be huge I’m guessing. This will be seen as a traditional hockey town in no time! 4/5 RH: A more recent expansion franchise who peaked a few years ago at 7th in the league. They even won a playoff series that year but went on to get swept by Texas. 2/5 PT: Starting to see a lot more 18s on these DMen. Unfortunately they no longer have Gabe.. I definitely would’ve been able to take his spot almost immediately. 3/5 Total: 15/20 LA Panthers  B/L: Idk man. The name is really bland and unoriginal. The colors are nice, but the logo is Minnesota Wild ripoff. I just am not feeling this at all. 1/5 HC: I don’t care what Gretzky did. I don’t care about Jonathan Quick and that cup run. Its a weak-ass hockey town. 2/5 RH: Since finishing 3rd and 4th in seasons 53 and 54, they’ve pretty consistently been around 8-11. Not great. Not terrible. 3/5 PT: I could see myself moving up here decently quickly. Not a ton of 18s-20s. Shoutout to Golden Face though! 4/5 Total: 10/20 Atlanta Inferno  B/L: I like the firebird/phoenix thing. He’s kinda cute. Does he have a name? I don’t really love the name I’ll be honest. Heat and hockey just don’t go together for me. (Looking at you Calgary Flames…) 3/5 HC: They tried it once and it sucked. I’ve spent a lot of time in ATL and let me tell you I’ve never once spent a second there thinking about hockey. 1/5 RH: Despite their relatively little regular season success since their inception (never finished higher than 9th), they have surprisingly done very well for themselves in the playoffs, including run to the Semi-Finals just last season. 4/5 PT: Not really seeing a good spot to get in here. This team is pretty well loaded at Defense. 2/5 Total: 10/20 Philadelphia Forge  B/L: While I’m not usually a fan of the 90s MLS names, this one works for whatever reason. Love the color scheme and really like the logo as well. Bonus points for not just doing red/white/blue 4/5 HC: I’ll be honest I kinda hate Philly but you can’t deny its a classic hockey town. If I was drafted here I definitely could embrace the vibe. 4/5 RH: I can’t find a ton of data here, but I’m assuming they’re a recent addition. Bonus point though for finishing this year with 69 points. 2/5 PT: Solid top 2 lines that will continue to get better. I could slot into the 3rd but it’ll be a while. 2/5 Total: 12/20 Toronto North Stars  B/L: Okay so the name is ripped off an old NHL team, and the color scheme is ripped off the actual Toronto team. But eff it. It works! The blue is classic. The name is cool. It works! 4/5 HC: I mean yeah. Its a hockey city. 5/5 RH: Hard to tell if this year is a blip or the start of a downturn after a few good seasons near the top quarter of the league. They made it all the way to the semi-finals in season 58 before bowing out in a heartbreaking game 7. 4/5 PT: This team could use some help on defense. I feel like I could help here! 4/5 Total: 17/20 Calgary Dragons  B/L: I like the creativity in the dragon’s wings making the C. The name has a nice flow to it. But.. hear me out. What if the dragon were nicer? This guy kinda looks racist. 3/5 HC: Sure its cold, sure its got a hockey team.But doesnt it strike you more as a rodeo town? 4/5 RH: They’ve been slowly slipping down the standings the last few seasons, although their only real season that saw playoff success was ironically last season when they lost in 6 in the semi-finals. 3/5 PT: No offense, but this team needs help on defense. 3/5 Total: 13/20 Edmonton Blizzard  B/L: Okay this is honestly the first branding that I’m absolutely in love with. The ice blue is beautiful, the name isn’t my favorite but its not bad, and the little arctic fox is adorable! What’s his name?? Can I pet him? 5/5 HC: Yeah, this is a hockey city! Its cold! Its in Canada! Its perfect! 5/5 RH: Very consistently getting to the playoffs but holy shit has game 7 has been rough on this team. 4 straight seasons of being eliminated in 7 games. Imagine if they could’ve pulled a few of those out how different the fortunes of this franchise would be. 3/5 PT: This team is pretty loaded at Defense, but they do have Gabe. I should be able to take his spot pretty easily cuz Gabe sux. 4/5 Total: 17/20 New England Wolfpack  B/L: I love the color scheme, and once again love the little wolfy. Does he have a name?? I feel like his name should be Wolfgang, and this is also what you should call your supporters (these branding ideas are just one of the awesome things you’ll get if you draft me). 4/5 HC: If I had my way, I’d like this to be a city in New England like Hartford or Providence, but its up north and obviously New England has a reach hockey history so it’ll have to do. 4/5 RH: S61 was by far their best season in a while, and that ended with a 4 game sweep in the 1st round of the playoffs. It remains to be seen if they’ll be able to keep moving up the standings or if this was just a bright spot in an otherwise dim existence. 2/5 PT: With two of the best offensive dmen inthe league its going to be hard to break in here. But perhaps by the time I’ve progressed a little bit they’ll be on the backside of their career. 2/5 Total: 12/20 Tampa Bay Barracudas  B/L: I really like the colors here. Like maybe the best color scheme in the league. I love that whole 90s vibe. But the barracuda is not a hockey mascot. Also with the flesh color, he kiiiinda looks like a dick. 3/5 HC: Its hot. Its muggy. And also h*ck the lightning in real life. This city sucks hard! 0/5 RH: Another team that's climbing up the standings, but without much to show for it come playoff time. We’ll see if they can turn it into long-term success or if they’ll be back in the cellar soon. 2/5 PT: Some solid players but nothing too insane to and break into in a season or two. 4/5 Total: 9/20 Chicago Syndicate  B/L: This is a pretty cool name. Could’ve gone a lot ways with Chicago but I think they nailed it here. Color scheme is not terrible but not great, and maaan I hate this guys face. He reminds me of the bad guy from Dick Tracy. 3/5 HC: Not much to say here, but Chicago is a hockey town! Maybe not THE hockey town, but its solid! 4/5 RH: This team is SOLID. They won the cup in s57 and lost a heartbreaker in g7 of the finals of last season but they are clearly one of the top 4 teams in this league year in year out. 5/5 PT: This team is just stacked with 18s and 19 ratings on defense. I don’t see a lot of playing time in any of these pairings. 1/5 Total:13/20 Buffalo Stampede  B/L: The color is great, and despite the name giving me a bummer of a Mufasa vibe, the name is quite solid as well. All in all, this is some solid branding work! 4/5 HC: Buffalo is very much a hockey city. Being from Dallas IRL, I would love to be able to mend some of the broken relationships cause by the 99 Cup Finals. Would you let me? 4/5 RH: I mean this is about as good as it gets. Finalists in 5 out the last 6 seasons, winning 2. The only time they missed out was a game 7 lost in the semi finals. They are down 2-0 to Hamilton right now, so it will be interesting to see if they can keep their streak alive. 5/5 PT: There will be no breaking in here for a long long time. 19s across the board. 1/5 Total: 14/20 Baltimore Platoon  B/L: Its personal preference to be sure, but I’m just not a huge fan of it. I just feel like the eagle and the red, white, and blue are kinda played out. Does that make me an anti-Patriot? Possibly. But its the name too I guess. The word platoon just reminds me of someone spitting into a bucket in an old cowboy film. 1/5 HC: Doesn’t really feel like a hockey city… I guess it gets cold there, but when I think of Baltimore, I think about the Wire, and thats about it.. 2/5 RH: This is a team on the up and up. After some middling seasons, they’re not entrenched near the top of the league. They’ve yet to experience much playoff success, but that might be about to change. 3/5 PT: Not quite as stacked on the blueline as the last couple of teams, but it could be that like the team, these guys are up and comers. 3/5 Total: 9/20 Texas Renegades  B/L: The logo is pretty cool, if not a little unoriginal for a Texas team. It really reminds me of the old Dallas Sidekicks from my childhood. I realize somebody in the league needs to be black and grey probably, but I honestly just hate it. So drab. 2/5 HC: In the traditional sense, no its not a hockey city.. But having been an IRL Stars fan since the team moved here in ‘93 I have to say that yes this is very much a hockey city when the team is solid (as this one seems to be). But if anyone tells me this team is located in Houston I will drop this shit to negative 5 so hard and fast. 3/5 RH: They’ve enjoyed a steady rise to the top, winning the cup once in season 59. This year marked their 3rd 100 pt season out of the last 4, so this is team who is built to last. 5/5 PT: Obviously to be this good you’re going to be loaded at the back, but I also see a soft spot perhaps in the “Offensive DMan” category. Maybe if the team is looking to add a scoring/PP threat from the blueline, I could weasel in? 2/5 Total:12/20 Hamilton Steelhawks  B/L: I’m not sure what a Steelhawk is. So I looked it up. Apparently, its a “non-handed, narrow backset,electrified deadlatch designed for easy integration with access control systems”. Uhh okay.. Oh, its also a roller coaster. With that being said, its original, the color is clean, and the logo isn’t half bad. 4/5 HC: Its Canadian, its cold, its classic. I love that its obviously a hockey city without being a city that actually has an NHL team. Its original and seems like a really good fit for this league. 5/5 RH: I mean, they just reeled off a 115 point season. The last time they didn’t finish in the top 2 in the regular season was s55. They’ve got two cup wins in that time, and are the clear favorites to add a 3rd in recent history this season. 5/5 PT: They’re loaded as you’d expect, but it seems that most of their big money guys are on offense. Its obviously a long shot, but its definitely possible in a few seasons. 2/5 Total: 16/20 Summary Best fit: Toronto North Stars, Edmonton Blizzard Based on the ID Index, it would seem that either Toronto or Edmonton would be the best fit for me as both scored 17/20. Seattle would also be a very good fit scoring 16/20. Some teams like Buffalo and Hamilton might also be a great place to end up, but you have to wonder if I’ll still be available that far down the draft.. Not trying to sound like a douche, but I’m in the top 5 of all dmen in offensive points! C’mon scro! Worst fit: (Look I’m sure even if these teams pick me, it’ll be awesome.. This is just a stupid article, so don’t take it person.) Manhattan Rage, San Francisco Pride, Baltimore Platoon These teams all scored very low on the index, and might not be the best place to end up. Baltimore in particular as they not only scored low, but also finished the season so well, won’t be picking until much later in the draft. One final disclaimer: I’m not Eric Lindros. I’ll give my all wherever I go (I might just have some ideas about possible rebranding...heh). Don’t forget that the most important metric of all is the Locker Room activity. So teams that might be the best fit, hypothetically might have a shit locker room that would make the experience miserable, and vice versa. It’ll all come out in the wash. If you stuck through it and read this whole shitty article, I appreciate you. Cup Noodle /// LD /// #4 Anchorage Armada Word Count: 3209 ![[Image: source.gif]](https://images-ext-2.discordapp.net/external/N7OFpdkiW3dwjPdHTj2yhO7g_QAx5xwXogoU-ubZDPo/https/media.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPTc5MGI3NjExNzBmaHJsaWI3N3VvbDByazd6cmRnOGo4c3VyM215b2kxOXptOTY4byZlcD12MV9pbnRlcm5hbF9naWZfYnlfaWQmY3Q9Zw/tv6NZ9dSur9dswueVj/source.gif) ![[Image: zFnlslP.png]](https://i.imgur.com/zFnlslP.png)
High Stick KingRegistered Posting Freak
RagnarRegistered The Gnometorious
Cup. Fucking. Noodle.
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SymmetrikRegistered S35 Challenge Cup Champion
i'm here for people hating on you hating their branding
shoulda put this in SHL media for maximum visibility ![[Image: symmetrik.gif]](http://sig.grumpybumpers.com/host/symmetrik.gif) Prince George Firebirds GM (S34-S36) Toronto North Stars GM (S37-S43) ![[Image: symmshl.gif]](https://sig.grumpybumpers.com/host/symmshl.gif)
VulfzillaRegistered Senior Member
SymmetrikRegistered S35 Challenge Cup Champion 10-02-2021, 08:09 AMvulfgravy Wrote:10-02-2021, 12:08 AMSymmetrik Wrote: i'm here for people hating on you hating their brandingOh I thought I had to post it here cause I'm in juniors... nah it's about which league it's relevant to, since it's all about the SHL teams i woulda put it in SHL media Prince George Firebirds GM (S34-S36) Toronto North Stars GM (S37-S43)
micool132SHL GM SHL GM
Disapointed, the Inferno could keep your content warm and hot forever.
Character Page RD- Quarterback ![[Image: micool132.gif]](https://sig.grumpybumpers.com/host/micool132.gif) Retired players: -Toki Wartooth -Nathan Explosion btw -Angus McFife XVIII ![[Image: lUeg4KM.png]](https://i.imgur.com/lUeg4KM.png)
GrapeheadRegistered Grape Hater
Maybe I'm googling the wrong Orlando Pride, but their logo does not in fact appear to be a lion. If I stole the name from anywhere it was definitely the Boston Pride though.
![[Image: Z21MZ56.jpg]](https://i.imgur.com/Z21MZ56.jpg)  
VaxlareRegistered fAnCy User Title
GrapeheadRegistered Grape Hater 10-02-2021, 06:48 PMVaxlare Wrote:10-02-2021, 01:18 PMGrapehead Wrote: Maybe I'm googling the wrong Orlando Pride, but their logo does not in fact appear to be a lion. If I stole the name from anywhere it was definitely the Boston Pride though. Ah, so he must've merged the two together in his mind then, since the men's team isn't called Pride, and the women's team doesn't use a lion logo. Either way, I hadn't heard of either of these teams before today, so any likeness is merely coincidental.
VulfzillaRegistered Senior Member 10-02-2021, 07:22 PMGrapehead Wrote:Weird yeah I definitely thought both the men's and women's team used them lion logo.10-02-2021, 06:48 PMVaxlare Wrote: I think he meant Orlando City (Men's soccer, not women's) |
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