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S65 PT #2: Matinée

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(This post was last modified: 05-29-2022, 03:43 PM by JT3.)

The first thing you need to think about if you want to get them to your games is accessibility. These old folks have been around a long time and can't get around like they used to. So our first step is to open the gates an extra hour early to give those old rascals enough time to make it to their seats. We'll also create a section specifically for the elderly. The plan is to install a bathroom booth in every row so they don't need to get all the way to the concourse every time they need to empty their blatters. We'll also install chairlifts at all stairways in these elderly sections, making it easier for the grandmas and grandpas of the hockey world to get up and down the long arena stairs. And since you've given the elderly so much time to get in pregame, you've gotta keep them occupied. So what we plan on doing is setting up some episodes of Coronation Street on the jumbotron while arena staff hand out complimentary tea and biscuits! They should love that, old folks love free shit and they love tea.

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Berserkers Patriotes Finland
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Strangely enough, I was never a fan of the later-starting games. It WAS nice to have all day to prepare and have a complete 'routine' prior to a game, but a lot of the time it felt like you were just waiting around all day for the game to even begin. Having all the time was nice though, and I'm sure that's something that will be missed with the noon start time. Breakfast has always been and will continue to be my favorite meal; I always take a full hour to prepare and cook a healthy start to the day. I think the absolute biggest impact is my wakeup time, I'll obviously have to push that to earlier. I'm normally out of bed by 7:45, but now that will look more like 6:00 or so. This allows for a nice morning workout, nothing too extreme, and still gives time to get to the stadium and relax before lacing up.

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LARGEST PUNISHMENT IN SHL HISTORY

Prompt 2

Absolute professional Jimmy Wagner would have no problem adapting to the new schedule of only noon games. First, Los Angeles has the advantage of being on the west coasts so games are a little later compared to the east coast anyways, and Jimmy would be happy to adjust his sleep and life schedules to fit the new schedule. The biggest changes would be pre-game meals and that his down time would be after the game, but it would be a perfectly fine switch to make for him compared to some of the younger players in the league that stay up later. While most of the league would be scarfing down Taco Bell and McDonalds breakfast, Jimmy and Kate would continue to utilize a nutritionist and prepped meals during the week and and wake up earlier on the weekends to whip up healthy brunch options before heading out on the short trip to the arena.

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Before games i’m usually coming from a secret mission but i try to space those out when possible so that i’m not too exhausted when it comes to game time. I usually carpool with one of my teammates to get to the stadium and then once i get there my favorite way to get hype for the game is to listen to my theme song (perry the platypus). I know it might seem kind of arrogant to some to listen to your own song to get hype but I can’t help it! It goes way too hard and is way too hype not to. After listening to my song or sometimes while i’m listening i make sure i do some foam rolling and active stretching to get ready for the game. I always want to make sure that I am limber and ready to go to prevent injuries while playing.

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3. Buffalo Stampede , Eduard Selich 5 (Maximilian Wachter, Alexis Metzler) at 16:25
5. Buffalo Stampede , Eduard Selich 6 (Steven Stamkos Jr., Brynjar Tusk) at 19:48
8. Buffalo Stampede , Eduard Selich 7 (Brynjar Tusk, Alexis Metzler) at 13:55
9. Buffalo Stampede , Eduard Selich 8 (Anton Fedorov, Mikelis Grundmanis) at 15:12
10. Buffalo Stampede , Eduard Selich 9 (Dickie Pecker) at 19:43 (Empty Net)

The change to matinee games was certainly a shock to Sophie Bordeleau, but with her chill nature she set about changing her routine to work best with the new schedule. With early games, breakfast now becomes the undisputed most important meal of the day to get her energy up for lots of hard skating, so she's started adding more protein to her diet with more meat and eggs. Dinner is now about recovery and getting back those calories burned, so Sophie's gotten quite good at cooking different pasta dishes for herself to mix it up and stay in game shape. The final thing that's changed, and perhaps the most important, is Sophie's sleep schedule. With the morning games and earlier wake-up calls for preparation, it's now vital that she get enough sleep to feel rested before each game, and thus she's been going to bed earlier every night. These lifestyle changes were subtle, but are contributing to excellent results on the ice.

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So we really want the old folks flooding the arenas now? Fine, I have some ideas to get them in the doors. First we're gonna do an early bird special brunch buffet. For season ticket holders it's free, for seniors its $10 a plate, and everyone else pays $15 a plate. It will be full of eggs, doughnuts, oatmeal or whatever else old people like to munch on in the morning, each senior plate also comes with a large print copy of the newspaper for them to enjoy with their meal or in between periods during the game. Speaking of intermissions there will be bingo cards included with the senior plates as well, during intermissions 4 different rounds of bingo will be played, numbers will be displayed on the jumbotrons to allow everyone playing to play a little easier without having to listen to callouts from the arena announcer.

So we're at cheap food and bingo. That's everything old people like on top of a noon puck drop, God help the SHL.

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Hmm, so the SHL is trying to appeal to the Titan demographic. Who is Titan you say? An old man. Maybe he'll come back to the SHL with this new change in effect. Anyways, if games were moved to noon, I'll have to move my entire regiment 7 hours earlier. This works well to be honest. Players nowadays love playing online multiplayer games. We can play games at noon, finish about 3-4 hours later, and get home. We can get our much needed rest after that and get back up by midnight. Perfect time to spend the night gaming. I won't need to wake up early, since I'll already be up. I'll just have to eat my pre-game meals at breakfast. I wonder if my body will be able to digest burgers and steaks that early in the morning. I guess we'll find out. Looking forward to the time change. I think my late gaming habits will actually put me ahead of the curve. Watch those points and wins rack up!

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Prompt 2: Honestly having the SHL games shift from 7 PM to noon is a much welcomed change for Collin Gibbles. He's been in the league a long time and after that time he has trimmed his pre-game rituals down considerably. If anything the earlier start times also help with life at home as he can be home by 5 PM after a game in order to help with his 3 kids. It also means he has an excuse to take them out of school early to watch a game or two each month. The earlier start time also means that there is less time to overeat beforehand and feel bloated by puck drop. Gibbles was already waking up at 6 AM on game days and now he can enjoy much more of his day. Gibbles has his pre-game salad/ chicken alfredo meal and spends an hour between the sauna/hot tub before making his way to the LR an hour before game time to re-hydrate and enjoy the mid-day peace before lacing up his skates once again.

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It is very annoying to have to switch your routine over like that. Once you are used to having to play until 10, then not going to bed for maybe another 2-3 hours, and not having to wake up particularly early even on a back to back was very beneficial for Archangelo, someone who was very certainly not an early bird. Suddenly, having to go to bed at maybe 10 to wake up at 8, have all the necessary preparations done before 11 so you can get to the rink, get your stuff in order and be ready is so damn off putting. It is also very annoying because it's not about a schedule change, you are not suddenly going to just play matinee games, it's just a likely one off, so you can't even slowly get used to the early wake ups, so very often, energy drinks, something Archie has been very much against ever since he was a kid and heard all the terrible stomach ulcer stories, are something to keep him around in the morning, which is just about the only thing that can since coffee doesn't seem to do all that much.

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creative prompt:

To broaden the appeal of the SHL to the 60+ (AKA Old AF) Crowd, Head Office will be implementing the following changes:

Free container of Ben Gay with the purchase of a ticket. Concessions and food service providers will be replacing fries with bowls of prunes, and all candies and snack foods will be replaced with Werthers Original, mentos, chocolate-covered raisins, and black liquorice all-sorts.

Also introducing the Early-Early Bird Special! Show up at 10 AM for the noon stream, and you'll receive a 10% off coupon for Golden Corral. For pre-game entertainment, there will be a member of custodial staff with purple hair leaning idly on a mop, listening to music on airpods, to provide maximum inspiration for grumblings of "something something genders something something lazy millenials something something we won the war and i paid for school with six nickels and a handshake"

Historical note: the post-ww2 GI Bill specifically excluded Black soldiers, thus beginning the extreme wealth disparity between african-american communities and predominantly white suburbs through most of urban america.

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