Nictox Registered
Posting Freak
Luca's personal assistant needs to be able to do 3 things:
1. Make homemade pizza. This is crucial for Luca's pre-game prep.
2. The ability to juggle 2 pucks and a tennis ball while taking phone calls.
3. See line 1.
Luca will pay no more than experience and exposure for doing a good job.
Honestly BASE PACK's assistant will have to do pretty much everything for him because BASE PACK is a lazy bastard. They really shouldn't give him an assistant because he will literally make the assistant do everything for him at every waking hour.
Help wanted: Someone who has an excellent sense of direction and navigating without the use of google maps (the internet is spotty at best up here in Alaska)
Thank you to Ham and Sulo for the sigs!
Jon Tellofsen, Defenseman for LAP/BUF/CAL/TEX/MIN (RETIRED)
Drafted 52nd OA in S38 SMJHL Draft by the St. Louis Scarecrows
Drafted 11th OA in S39 SHL Draft by the Minnesota Chiefs
4-Star Cup Winner (St. Louis S39)
Basil Magnicotta, Defenseman for St. Louis and New Orleans (RETIRED)
Drafted 33rd OA in S45 SMJHL Draft by the St. Louis Scarecrows
Drafted 53rd OA in S45 SHL Draft by the New Orleans Specters
Two-time 4-star Cup Winner (St. Louis S45 and S46)
WJC Gold Medal with Team World (S45)
Three-time Ondrej Ravchitikov Award winner (S47, S48, S49)
S55: Ravchitikov Award Re-named to Basil Magnicotta Award
Nicolae Antonescu, Goaltender for St. Louis and San Francisco (RETIRED)
Drafted 26th OA in S54 SMJHL Draft by the St. Louis Scarecrows
Drafted 27th OA in S55 SHL Draft by the San Francisco Pride
Named to SMJHL All-Rookie Team (S54)
Four time Friedrich Schmidt Award Winner (S54, S55, S56, S57)
SMJHL All-Star, 1st Team (S56)
Nominee for Ryan Jesster Award (S58)
Named to SHL All-Rookie Team (S58)
Named to SHL All-Star Roster (2nd Team) (S59)
Nominee for John McBride Award (S59)
Named to SHL All-Star Roster (2nd Team) (S61)
Nominee for John McBride Award (S61)
IIHF Silver medal with Switzerland (S63)
Named to SHL All-Star Roster (S65)
Winner of John McBride Award (S65)
IIHF Gold medal with Switzerland (S65)
Ignacio Garza, Winger for Anchorage and San Francisco
Claimed on entry waivers by Anchorage during the S67 SMJHL season
Drafted 20th OA in the S68 Draft by the San Francisco Pride
Jon Tellofsen, General Manager and Coach
S54 - WJC GM (Team Finland) - 8-5-1 Record - Bronze medal
S55 - WJC GM (Team DACH) - 7-5-1 Record - Quarterfinals
S56 - WJC GM (Team DACH) - 8-4-1 Record - Quarterfinals
S57 - WJC GM (Team DACH) - 10-3-1 Record - Quarterfinals
S58 - WJC GM (Team DACH) - 12-3-0 Record - Silver Medal
S59 - WJC GM (Team DACH) - 12-2-1 Record - Gold Medal
S60 - WJC GM (Team DACH) - 10-4-1 Record - Bronze Medal
S61 - WJC GM (Team Finland) - 10-4-1 Record - Bronze medal
- WJC Career as GM - 77-30-7 Record -
My personal assistant must be a connoisseur in cheese. I want a steady supply of cheeses from various locations around the world to sample as well as to keep my "house cheeses" in stock.
Sig credit: Ragnar, Carpy48, High Stick King
Ivan Lacksamus || RW || Detroit Falcons
Number: 14
Height: 6ft 1in
Weight: 200 lbs
Birthplace: Switzerland
02-16-2023, 03:23 PM
(This post was last modified: 02-16-2023, 03:27 PM by CrazyMojito . Edited 1 time in total.)
Keep track of important dates like birthdays and anniversaries
Bring fresh coffee to work every day
Thats it, pretty easy job. For compensation, all personal expenses paid.
Leatherneckmike Registered
Senior Member
Posts: 321
Threads: 19
Joined: Aug 2021
Reputation:
6
Discord: Leatherneckmike#2123
Pronouns: Undisclosed
Player:
James Dion
My personal assistant will basically be in charge of appearances and scheduling events. I dont really need a lot out of the person but I do need some help for stuff I dont have time for playing 2 sports. I'll pay $55 an hour. I've got plenty of money between the two sports
55 words
damienj10 Registered
S35 Challenge Cup Champion || Not a bust
My personal assistant feeds me hot dogs on the bench. Pretty simple it goes Gatorade, hot dog, Gatorade Gatorade, hot dog, Gatorade. In that cycle rinse and repeat. I think that’s what Phil kessel has too for his personal assistant. Decent job decent pay.
- Feed me an unlimited amount of coffee (and don't you dare put milk or sugar in it);
- Walk the dog 10 times a day;
- Protect me from rednecks (since I live in Texas);
- Schedule appointements and remind me of birthday.
Compensation received in the form of autographs and based on performance
Getting ready because there is only 364 days before the next hockey team selection
Honestly I would need a personal assistant that makes me food so they would be more like a personal chef. Marner is not a good cook and needs to keep up an excellent diet.
Slava-Ukraini Heroyam-Slava || Yukon Malamutes || Toronto North Stars
Name: Slava-Ukraini Heroyam-Slava
Nationality: Kryvyi Rih, Ukraine
Height: 6"4
Weight: 230
Number: 91
------------------------------------------------------------
Career Statistics:
SMJHL Regular Season:
S53 | GP: 66 | G: 14 | A: 28 | P: 42 | +/-: 12 | PPP: 1 | PIM: 0 | H: 68 | SB: 4 | TA: 31 | GA: 38
SHL Regular Season:
SMJHL Post Season:
S53 | GP: 11 | G: 2 | A: 3 | P: 5 | +/-: -3 | PPP: 0 | PIM: 0 | H: 22 | SB: 0 | TA: 4 | GA: 10
SHL Post Season:
------------------------------------------------------------
Career Transactions:
S74 Drafted 11th overall to the Yukon Malamutes
S75 Drafted 6th overall to the Toronto North Stars
My personal assistant's main job would be reminding me to tweet. I seem to forget every week until the end of the week. So, their one and only duty would be calling me and screaming at me to get on twitter and send some tweets!
________________
46 words
________________
Campbell Fischermann | RW | Colorado Raptors | 558 TPE | GM SEA
Drafted 17th overall by the Colorado Raptors
Drafted 36th overall by the Seattle Argonauts
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Awards and Honors
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
SMJHL Regular Season Stats
S77 COL | GP: 66 | G: 17 | A: 33 | P: 50 | +/-: +13
S78 COL | GP: 66 | G: 26 | A: 23 | P: 49 | +/-: -3
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
SMJHL Playoff Stats
S77 COL | GP: 4 | G: 0 | A: 2 | P: 2 | +/-: -6
S78 COL | GP: 13 | G: 7 | A: 5 | P: 12 | +/-: +2
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
International Play
S77 Team USA-Blue WJC | GP: 12 | G: 2 | A: 5 | P: 7 | +/-: -4
S61 Team USA-White WJC | GP: 4 | G: 2 | A: 3 | P: 5 | +/-: +1
Landon Fischermann | RD | Seattle Argonauts | 2,071 TPE (max) | GM SEA
Drafted 35th overall by the Vancouver Whalers
Drafted 10th overall by the Seattle Argonauts
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Awards and Honors
S61 SMJHL Four Star Cup Champion
S61 SMJHL All-Star
S61 WJC Gold Medal - Team USA
S62 SMJHL All-Star
S62 Quilha Agante Trophy Winner (Best Defenseman in SMJHL)
S62 SMJHL First Team All-Star
S62 WJC Gold Medal - Team British Isles
S62 WJC Harvey Danger Award Winner (Best Defenseman)
S67 SHL Challange Cup Champion
S68 SHL Challange Cup Champion
S70 IIHF Best Defender
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
SMJHL Regular Season Stats
S60 VAN | GP: 66 | G: 8 | A: 13 | P: 21 | +/-: +7
S61 VAN | GP: 66 | G: 12 | A: 38 | P: 50 | +/-: +52
S62 VAN 'C' | GP: 66 | G: 12 | A: 45 | P: 57 | +/-: +40
S63 VAN 'C' | GP: 51 | G: 6 | A: 15 | P: 21 | +/-: -40
S63 REG | GP: 13 | G: 5 | A: 5 | P: 10 | +/-: +4
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
SHL Regular Season Stats
S64 SEA | GP: 66 | G: 7 | A: 13 | P: 20 | +/-: +5
S65 SEA | GP: 66 | G: 11 | A: 22 | P: 33 | +/-: +31
S66 SEA | GP: 66 | G: 8 | A: 26 | P: 34 | +/-: +24
S67 SEA 'A' | GP: 66 | G: 7 | A: 26 | P: 33 | +/-: +36
S68 SEA 'A' | GP: 66 | G: 16 | A: 24 | P: 40 | +/-: +52
S69 SEA (Co-GM) | GP: 66 | G: 10 | A: 31 | P: 41 | +/-: +38
S70 SEA (Co-GM) | GP: 66 | G: 22 | A: 32 | P: 52 | +/-: +18
S71 SEA (Co-GM) | GP: 66 | G: 13 | A: 39 | P: 52 | +/-: +11
S72 SEA (Co-GM) | GP: 66 | G: 8 | A: 21 | P: 29 | +/-: -32
S73 SEA (Co-GM) | GP: 66 | G: 8 | A: 30 | P: 38 | +/-: -20
S74 SEA (GM) | GP: 66 | G: 6 | A: 26 | P: 32 | +/-: -53
S75 SEA (GM) | GP: 66 | G: 5 | A: 9 | P: 14 | +/-: -66
S76 SEA (GM) | GP: 66 | G: 8 | A: 19 | P: 27 | +/-: -33
S76 SEA (GM) | GP: 66 | G: 10 | A: 32 | P: 42 | +/-: -28
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
SMJHL Playoff Stats
S60 VAN | GP: 13 | G: 1 | A: 3 | P: 4 | +/-: +1
S61 VAN | GP: 14 | G: 2 | A: 4 | P: 6 | +/-: +5
S62 VAN 'C' | GP: 12 | G: 2 | A: 4 | P: 6 | +/-: +6
S63 REG | GP: 4 | G: 1 | A: 0 | P: 1 | +/-: +0
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
SHL Playoff Stats
S64 SEA | GP: 7 | G: 1 | A: 1 | P: 2 | +/-: -1
S65 SEA | GP: 6 | G: 2 | A: 1 | P: 3 | +/-: +2
S66 SEA | GP: 22 | G: 3 | A: 5 | P: 8 | +/-: +0
S67 SEA 'A' | GP: 23 | G: 5 | A: 6 | P: 11 | +/-: +11
S68 SEA 'A' | GP: 21 | G: 2 | A: 7 | P: 9 | +/-: +23
S69 SEA (Co-GM) | GP: 16 | G: 0 | A: 3 | P: 3 | +/-: -6
S70 SEA (Co-GM) | GP: 13 | G: 2 | A: 6 | P: 8 | +/-: +1
S71 SEA (Co-GM) | GP: 7 | G: 1 | A: 1 | P: 2 | +/-: +1
S72 SEA (Co-GM) | GP: 5 | G: 1 | A: 2 | P: 3 | +/-: +0
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
International Play
S60 Team USA WJC | GP: 13 | G: 1 | A: 3 | P: 4 | +/-: +8
S61 Team USA WJC | GP: 15 | G: 1 | A: 2 | P: 3 | +/-: +5
S62 Team BI WJC | GP: 15 | G: 6 | A: 7 | P: 13 | +/-: +14
S63 Team BI WJC | GP: 13 | G: 2 | A: 6 | P: 8 | +/-: -6
S64 Team GB IIHF | GP: 13 | G: 2 | A: 6 | P: 8 | +/-: +4
S65 Team GB IIHF | GP: 12 | G: 2 | A: 0 | P: 2 | +/-: +0
S66 Team GB IIHF | GP: 12 | G: 2 | A: 1 | P: 3 | +/-: -2
S67 Team GB IIHF | GP: 12 | G: 3 | A: 6 | P: 9 | +/-: +2
S68 Team GB IIHF | GP: 13 | G: 2 | A: 7 | P: 9 | +/-: +3
S69 Team GB IIHF | GP: 15 | G: 2 | A: 2 | P: 4 | +/-: -1
S70 Team GB IIHF | GP: 12 | G: 9 | A: 7 | P: 16 | +/-: +1
S71 Team GB IIHF | GP: 12 | G: 0 | A: 8 | P: 8 | +/-: -1
S72 Team GB IIHF | GP: 12 | G: 5 | A: 3 | P: 8 | +/-: -3
S73 Team GB IIHF | GP: 12 | G: 1 | A: 4 | P: 5 | +/-: -4
S74 Team GB IIHF | GP: 12 | G: 5 | A: 8 | P: 13 | +/-: -10
S75 Team GB IIHF | GP: 12 | G: 2 | A: 1 | P: 3 | +/-: -3
S76 Team GB IIHF | GP: 12 | G: 3 | A: 2 | P: 5 | +/-: -2
S77 Team GB IIHF | GP: 12 | G: 1 | A: 6| P: 7 | +/-: -11
S61 Four Star Cup - Game-Winning Goal in the clinching Game 4
Must be able to understand thick British accents
Must clean and dry pair of lucky underpants for every game
Must have a bag of frozen peas ready for icing down any bruises - Lakemore is old school and doesn't believe in ice packs
Pay is $20 an hour and Jarrod's eternal gratitude
S68 - Jarrod Lakemore - C
Ragnar Registered
The Gnometorious
Essentially my assistant would be a fluffer for @
Zombiewolf for when I am not around to keep him satisfied. I woiuld pay around $200 an hour for the work, and Zomboy can last foreverrrrrr (he's a sex god), so it'll be some big paychecks.
Sigs by Me, Merica, High Stick King, Rum_Ham, Jess, vulfzilla, enigmatic, and Carpy
Brian Morley | LAP | S30 Hall of Fame
———————————
CAREER AWARDS/ACCOMPLISHMENTS:
1x Challenge Cup (S17)
2x 1st All-Star Team (S22, S24)
1x 2nd All-Star Team (S23)
1x Sergei Karpotsov Trophy (S22)
2x Jay McDonald Trophy (S22, S24)
2x Damian Littleton Nominee (S21)
2x Ron Mexico Nominee (S22, S23)
2x Jeff Dar Nominee (S23, S24)
First, second and fifth most goals in a season in the 52 game era
Second most points in a season in the 52 game era
Second most goals by a player in Los Angeles Panthers franchise history
Second most points by a player in Los Angeles Panthers franchise history
Most goals, assists and points by a player drafted in S14
———————————
CAREER STATS:
758 GP: 265 Goals, 328 Assists, 593 Points
Chimkin Wing | Right Wing | Retired Beef Cake
Jersey Number: 35
Height: 6ft 8in
Weight: 225 lbs
Birthplace: Zrenjanin, Serbia
———————————
Signed as a free agent in S55 with the Anchorage Armada
Drafted 47th overall in the S56 SHL draft by the Buffalo Stampede
———————————
SMJHL REGULAR SEASON STATS:
S55: GP: 10 | W: 5 | L: 4 | OTL: 0 | GAA: 2.31 | SV%: .910 | SO: 1
S56: GP: 26 | W: 12 L: 8 | OTL: 3 | GAA: 2.59 | SV%: .893 | SO: 2
S57: GP: 53 | W: 33 L: 12 | OTL: 7 | GAA: 2.02 | SV%: .920 | SO: 8
S58: GP: 51 | W: 27 L: 22 | OTL: 2 | GAA: 2.11 | SV%: .927 | SO: 8
SMJHL PLAYOFF STATS:
S57: GP: 16 | W: 12 L: 3 | OTL: 1 | GAA: 1.86 | SV%: .926 | SO: 1
S58: GP: 21 | W: 13 L: 7 | OTL: 1 | GAA: 2.56 | SV%: .906 | SO: 0
———————————
SHL REGULAR SEASON STATS:
S58: GP: 3 | W: 2 | L: 0 | OTL: 1 | GAA: 1.95 | SV%: .880 | SO: 1
S59: GP: 66 | G: 8 | A: 26 | P: 34 | +/-: 38 | PIM: 16
S60: GP: 66 | G: 19 | A: 23 | P: 42 | +/-: 32 | PIM: 12
S61: GP: 66 | G: 11 | A: 31 | P: 42 | +/-: 36 | PIM: 38
S62: GP: 66 | G: 4 | A: 38 | P: 42 | +/-: 34 | PIM: 12
S63: GP: 66 | G: 6 | A: 28 | P: 34 | +/-: 7 | PIM: 19
S64: GP: 66 | G: 36 | A: 54 | P: 90 | +/-: 44 | PIM: 16
S65: GP: 66 | G: 44 | A: 41 | P: 85 | +/-: 18 | PIM: 18
S66: GP: 66 | G: 27 | A: 54 | P: 81 | +/-: 12 | PIM: 34
S67: GP: 66 | G: 20 | A: 55 | P: 75 | +/-: -10 | PIM: 44
S68: GP: 66 | G: 33 | A: 57 | P: 90 | +/-: 32 | PIM: 20
S69: GP: 66 | G: 32 | A: 59 | P: 91 | +/-: 31 | PIM: 34
S70: GP: 66 | G: 12 | A: 64 | P: 76 | +/-: 31 | PIM: 26
S71: GP: 66 | G: 23 | A: 38 | P: 61 | +/-: 22 | PIM: 26
S72: GP: 66 | G: 22 | A: 33 | P: 55 | +/-: 0 | PIM: 34
S73: GP: 66 | G: 17 | A: 39 | P: 56 | +/-: 21 | PIM: 20
S74: GP: 66 | G: 29 | A: 38 | P: 67 | +/-: 28 | PIM: 20
TOT: GP: 1056 | G: 343 | A: 678 | P: 1021 | +/-: 376 | PIM: 389
SHL PLAYOFF STATS:
S59: GP: 19 | G: 2 | A: 7 | P: 9 | +/-: -2 | PIM: 4
S60: GP: 22 | G: 6 | A: 15 | P: 21 | +/-: 12 | PIM: 4
S61: GP: 9 | G: 1 | A: 5 | P: 6 | +/-: 7 | PIM: 2
S62: GP: 9 | G: 2 | A: 3 | P: 5 | +/-: 3 | PIM: 2
S63: GP: 12 | G: 1 | A: 4 | P: 5 | +/-: 2 | PIM: 0
S64: GP: 11 | G: 4 | A: 8 | P: 12 | +/-: 2 | PIM: 2
S65: GP: 18 | G: 12 | A: 14 | P: 26 | +/-: 12 | PIM: 0
S66: GP: 16 | G: 4 | A: 9 | P: 13 | +/-: -2 | PIM: 2
S67: GP: 4 | G: 1 | A: 2 | P: 3 | +/-: -2 | PIM: 0
S68: GP: 17 | G: 10 | A: 17 | P: 27 | +/-: 6 | PIM: 10
S69: GP: 4 | G: 1 | A: 4 | P: 5 | +/-: -5 | PIM: 2
S70: GP: 7 | G: 2 | A: 1 | P: 3 | +/-: -2 | PIM: 2
S71: GP: 21 | G: 7 | A: 17 | P: 24 | +/-: 6 | PIM: 4
S72: GP: 5 | G: 0 | A: 1 | P: 1 | +/-: -4 | PIM: 0
S73: GP: 6 | G: 1 | A: 6 | P: 6 | +/-: 0 | PIM: 2
S74: GP: 9 | G: 0 | A: 2 | P: 2 | +/-: -3 | PIM: 4
TOT: GP: 189 | G: 54 | A: 114 | P: 168 | +/-: 34 | PIM: 40
———————————
AWARDS AND ACCOLADES:
S55 Matt Lewis-Flood Trophy
S57 Four Star Cup Champion
S57 SMJHL Second All Star Team
S57 Brodie Witzel Trophy - Playoffs MVP
S58 SMJHL First All Star Team
S58 Matt Lewis-Flood Trophy
S58 Cedric Robinson Trophy - Best Goalie
S60 Challenge Cup Champion
S64 Named Buffalo Stampede Captain
S64 Aidan Richan Award
S69 SHL All Star
S71 Challenge Cup Champion
Ongo Gablogian, the art collector | RD | Carolina Kraken
---------------------------------------------
Charmed, I'm sure
---------------------------------------------
Jersey Number: 0
Height: 4 ft 10in
Weight: 290 lbs
Birthplace: Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
---------------------------------------------
Drafted 8th overall by the Carolina Kraken in S74
Drafted 39th overall by the Buffalo Stampede in S75
---------------------------------------------
REGULAR SEASON STATS
S74: GP: 66 | G: 3 | A: 22 | P: 25 | +/-: -16 | PIM: 32 | HITS: 109
S75: GP: 66 | G: 8 | A: 18 | P: 26 | +/-: -9 | PIM: 38 | HITS: 126
S76: GP: 66 | G: 6 | A: 25 | P: 31 | +/-: +52 | PIM: 26 | HITS: 112
S77: GP: 66 | G: 13 | A: 37 | P: 50 | +/-: -8 | PIM: 41 | HITS: 120
TOT: GP: 264 | G: 30 | A: 203 | P: 132 | +/-: +19 | PIM:13 | HITS: 112
---------------------------------------------
PLAYOFF STATS
S74: DNQ
S75: GP: 12 | G: 0 | A: 1 | P: 1 | +/-: -2 | PIM: 6 | HITS: 22
S76: GP: 20 | G: 0 | A: 11 | P: 11 | +/-: 0 | PIM: 14 | HITS: 43
S77: GP: 11 | G: 2 | A: 7 | P: 9 | +/-: -1 | PIM: 6 | HITS: 14
TOT: GP: 32 | G: 2 | A: 19 | P: 21 | +/-: -3 | PIM: 26 | HITS: 79
---------------------------------------------
AWARDS AND ACCOLADES
S76 Alex Metzler Award
❤!! RIP to the big homies 701 and Mac !!❤
To succeed in the role as a personal assistant, you will need to pre-taste every food I eat, and especially make sure I never eat pizza with pineapples in it by accident. The pay will be 100 dollars per hour.
Jaromir Jagrbomb - RD - Quebec City Citadelles
Walton Stromberg - C - Philadelphia Forge
Career highlights:
S54 SMJHL Entry Draft - 25th overall pick by Maine Timber
S54 - Alex Andani Award (WJC Top Rookie)
S55 SHL Entry Draft - 22nd overall pick by San Francisco Pride
S57 - WJC Gold Medal as the captain of Team Finland
S58 - Selected to SHL All-Rookie Team
S60 - Inducted to Maine Timber Hall of Fame
S62 - IIHF Gold Medal with Team Finland
S64 - IIHF Gold Medal with Team Finland
S66 - IIHF Gold Medal with Team Finland
S69 - SHL Challenge Cup Champion (Philadelphia Forge)
JKortesi81 SHL GM
S32, S40, S42, S45 Challenge Cup Champion