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Tracking Spreadsheet

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SMJHL S50 Game 175 - KEL @ COL

SMJHL Game 175 Advanced Taterlytics Report:
Posessor: Alex Ranch @alexranch
Team: Kelowna Knights
Victim: N/A
Team: Colorado Raptors
Time: N/A
Total possession time:  1:00:00
Hot po-take-to:
Alex “Blue Cheese Or” Ranch was a chicken (wing) this game and shied away from any hitting whatsoever. His opposition was seen flapping their arms in jest and clucking at him as he was unable to work up the courage to throw a check. Maybe next game he’ll come out of the dressing room with a bit more pep in his step and a little more confidence in his own abilities to get the job done.  Sometimes, you just gotta prod yourself to do things you really don’t want to as it’s for your own benefit.

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SMJHL S50 Game 180 - KEL @ HFX

SMJHL Game 180 Advanced Taterlytics Report:
Posessor: Alex Ranch @alexranch
Team: Kelowna Knights
Victim: Atlas Rush @Rublic
Team: Halifax Raiders
Time: 19:46 of 1st period
Total possession time:  19:46
Hot po-take-to:
After spending a whole game with the Potato, everyone realized that Ranch and there Potato don’t mix and Alex finally took the hint. He ended up accidentally running into Atlas “Big Time” Rush which subsequently passed the Spud. Rush and the Potato’s pairing felt about as forced as Nickelodeon’s show though and everyone couldn’t help but feel it would never work out. So instead of trading in his hockey stick for a life of pop stardom, he decided to trade in the Potato...


SMJHL Game 180 Advanced Taterlytics Report:
Posessor: Atlas Rush @Rublic
Team: Halifax Raiders
Victim: Ryan Shepard @Naosu
Team: Kelowna Knights
Time: 17:46 of 3rd period
Total possession time:  38:00
Hot po-take-to:
Right to Ryan “German” Shepard. One of the more tenacious players on the puck currently playing in the SMJHL, his nickname isn’t just a fluke. He was hit while coming off the ice for his last shift in the game and was a bit unsuspecting. After being hit, he immediately tried to retaliate on Rush but was held back by his teammates on the bench.

SMJHL Game 180 Advanced Taterlytics Report:
Posessor: Ryan Shepard @Naosu
Team: Kelowna Knights
Victim: N/A
Team: Halifax Raiders
Time: N/A
Total possession time:  2:14
Hot po-take-to:
The Potato seems to like to move late in periods for some odd reason. Our analysts still have a few current hypotheses out on why this happens but they are undergoing rigorous back testing to see if any can explain this phenomenon. For now, all we are left with is speculation by some bozo who writes about a magical Potato multiple times a week in his free time. How sad.

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