PBE claim - 3 TPE


As I wrote about in my last PT (PT #5 - The Anthology Vol. IV), I would like to be remembered as the slipperiest player to ever lace up the skates in the SHL. In terms of an FHM build, I think the attribute that most exhibits slipperiness would probably be agility. It'd have to be a physical attribute, as my slipperiness doesn't really count as a hockey skill, so I think the combination of agility and speed is how I'll achieve it - especially agility. It's definitely imprudent to get agility to 20 so I may only do that once i'm in the last season before regression and can afford it, but that'll be a nice feather to put in my cap someday.


The arena in San Francisco is unveiling a special product for this series in honor of their associate general manager and third line sniper @DaftRaincloud - it's called the Dilkshake! It comes in just two flavors - vanilla and chocolate (with such short notice, it was too tough to develop more flavors in time!) - and it's made with fresh dilk. The marketing campaign has accelerated since the Pride's crucial game 7 victory over New Orleans, and commercials are starting to hit the radio with the special dilkshake jingle: "doo doo doo, dilkkkk shake, doo doo doo, dilkkk shake, it's a milkshake but it's made with dilk, doo doo doo, dilkkkk shake!" you probably don't have the same melody but I promise there was one in my head. There are posters in the arena featuring a big white splat in the middle that says "Come and try the brand new Dilkshake today! Only $5.95 at ANY concession stand!" People are gonna lap this one up!


Sent


There once was a GM named @Ace
His team finished in sixth place
But soon we switch games
No more of the same!
And now we'll be winning the race

My player is eko van otter
he's like a mcdavid but hotter
he's swimming in poon
the points will come soon
and mothers will offer their daughters


In some other reality, the STHS anomalies continued into the postseason as well. To be fair, Manhattan and San Francisco are two pretty great rosters, so this result isn't too offensive. But given the teams in the playoffs, there could've been much worse outcomes. The obvious team to think of here is the Toronto North Stars. Perhaps there's some reality out there where the North Stars' luck continued. Honestly if the Stars made the finals would @ml002 still be rooting against them??? ML is such a self-loather that I feel like he honestly would be lol. After a topsy-turvy regular season, the 5 squads that made the playoffs in the west were the ones we all expected, so that wound up being relatively inoffensive as well. I think the biggest joke that could've emerged from that crop would probably Calgary somehow making it again. They seem to have everything fall their way in spite of the odds, so Toronto vs. Calgary is the finals in this universe I'm describing.