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Thunfish · 04-10-2020, 03:08 AM

After about two or three days of fiddling around with FHM 6, I think I might actually have struck gold on something. Hopefully, you'll like it just like I did when I worked on it.

Meet Adamastor Pitombas.

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Nicknamed Dadá Maravilha (Wonder Dadá in Portuguese) by his friends in the peaceful little town of São José do Rio Pardo, little Dadá might not sound like much. That's entirely fair: he isn't much. Adamastor Pitombas isn't a talented hockey mind, he'll never be a star capable of enticing the game of hockey nor will he ever be a divisive manager that will lead an underdog team to gold like the protagonist of a story that isn't too much unlike Japanese manga (and mild recommendation from yours truly) Giant Killing. In fact, you could argue that, like most Brazilians, he won't amount much in a world where hockey is key to determine your relevance and your worth to the universe as a whole. It's not his fault, hockey is a winter sport, a sport for places that have ice. Brazil is a tropical country, a place where the winters can be cold but not as harsh as one would think. Brazil is one of the few countries in the world where it's more likely for you to get hit by lightning than being able to see snow in front of your house.

That's not made up, by the way. You can look it up, the country ranks pretty high in the ranks of getting hit by lightning. Nonetheless, his existence isn't to be the main character of this story. He's merely the catalyst.

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By accomplishing nothing, he'll accomplish everything.
By not mattering, he'll matter the most.
For he is the true guardian of this universe.

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For he is the gatekeeper of a world where things didn't go the way they should.
The lack of a gatekeeper would simply force casualty to push everything into normality.
Keep that in mind if you ever do hop between dimensions. It will save your life and I'm speaking from experience.

CHAPTER 1 - DON'T LET THE MAN GET YOU DOWN

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Meet Thomas Walsh.
Thomas is a desperate man, both in and off the ice.
Mr. Walsh here was actually running a minor league team in Florida before being offered a chance to manage the West Kendall Platoon.
The thing with Thomas Walsh is simple, he's scared shitless of at least five different things combined.
For starters, Walsh is scared about his financial situation. The Simulation Hockey League might have sprung out of nowhere but they promised some solid cash to him.
The cash in question?

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$555,000. A single year of contract.
Now, of course, with this kind of cash, we're factoring all sorts of stuff.
He has seven kids, which means that he'll have enough to take care of them for a good while.
Maybe get little Jamie into the sport down the line and maybe even be able to afford the surgery to get Thomas' eyes fixed.
He also has that nasty gambling problem that led him away from a minor role in an NHL staff room and threw him down into the depths of the Sun Belt Hockey League and the Florida Arwings. That also led to his second worry, Big Vito, who keeps sending him some goons, asking if he finally has the money to pay up. Thomas has been sleeping at the FPL Arena, home of the West Kendall Platoon ever since he got the gig, some four months ago.

His third worry, by order of relevance, is the kind of people he'd be able to bring into his roster. In light of the NHL lock-out, the SHL had the opportunity to try and poach any players they could get their hands on. The Market was thus populated by players that would be willing to participate in the league. For some reason, Thomas Walsh's dream pick would be Donald Brashear, formerly a player for Montreal, Vancouver and Philadelphia in the NHL who was basically spending the pre-season with LNAH's Quebec RadioX.
Nobody really knew what he saw on him, maybe it was some sort of love for thicker eyebrows. His real hope was to get players that wouldn't see the idea of having to play under a staff of scrubs as a problem.

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But really, nobody knew what they were going to get from players who had spent at least some two or three months playing away from the scouting eyes of the SHL. Patrik Elias, previously a star player for the New Jersey Devils had apparently taken the wrong plane on his way to join a team in his native Czech Republic and ended up somewhere in the Mediterranean. Three months later, the very same Elias returned, not speaking a lick of English or Czech. In fact, he managed to join the Anorthosis Hockey Club squad over at Cyprus and while still a very good player...

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He refused to speak to anyone in any other language that wasn't Greek.
Not like he was the only one, the few Czech players with NHL experience that happened to be willing to come back to North America had all somehow ended up at Cyprus. In spite of this mysterious plot, however, the real eye-catcher was when Teemu Selänne had arrived after agreeing to participate in the upstart league: he shared a hotel room with Michael Laudrup for some reason and was now speaking Danish (and only Danish).
Of course, there were notorious absences. Jeremy Roenick had publicly refused to accept any offers from the SHL... all one of those. Most European rookies decided that going to North America at that moment was a bad idea, preferring to stay at home.
The league also managed to get the wrong John Madden on the phone, which led to a rather insightful talk but not exactly a marquee player while the Madden they wanted to sign was somewhere at Helsinki. Players not making an effort to talk wasn't exactly a surprise: they couldn't get a single Russian player from the NHL as they all "mysteriously" moved back to the KHL and most of the Swedish stars simply refused to come back, stating that they were better off at the Swedish league.
Younger players found themselves in high demand at better markets like Switzerland, Germany, the Czech Republic (avoiding that damned flight to Cyprus), the remaining members of Scandinavia, France and Slovakia. For older players, their main haven had to be the Great Kingdom where names like Yzerman and Chelios took the game to a respectable enough level... and Brett Hull got to play at Hull. The real odd one had to be Dany Heatley who more or less retired from hockey, only re-emerging years later as a Buddhist monk in Tibet.

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In all fairness, his fourth fear was something less justified. He knew that his job would be up for grabs whenever he looked out of his office and noticed that there was another jersey to the side of the respectable navy-red-white jerseys of the West Kendall Platoon.
One of his sons, little Jamie like always, had given him the short of it. The Arwings were spaceships from a video-game series called Starfox.
His son didn't understand why Nintendo wanted to sponsor their farm team (as the USHL's function in the whole system was to be the place where prospects could improve after their time in the SHL-owned SMJHL) but like many things in the fabric of the league, those were conditions that they really weren't aware of. The Arwings were playing out of Cape Canaveral, although their arena was somewhere closer to Brevard County and their schedule put them to travel through all of the East Coast... and Cleveland. Blame Buffalo on that one. His fifth was Tampa Bay. Florida might've been a hockey state for good ol' Gary Bettman but Thomas Walsh didn't consider that to be very accurate... or at least, he didn't fancy his odds.

Of course, he couldn't help but take a good look at the pages opened on his shoddy copy of Internet Explorer on a piss-yellow monitor, raising an eyebrow once he took a good look at one particular player. A sixteen-year-old he had, officially, never heard of.

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"Who in the blue hell is Sidney Crosby?"

Hey, kids. Do you think that playing with a modified version of the SHL without the actual players from the league would be fun and you'd love to use it for a save yet you don't want to go through the hassle? Well, now you can! With this link, you can actually do that! Just download it and then throw the extracted material from the .zip file at your designated FHM 6 save folder. Have fun!

Quote:Word Count: 1659
Multi-dimensional shenanigans so far: 5 or 6, give or take

DeletedAtUserRequest · 04-10-2020, 01:43 PM

Bold.

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Thunfish · 04-10-2020, 04:09 PM

04-10-2020, 01:43 PMMike Izzy Wrote: Bold.

I hope I'm not being too out of the line... The idea of fucking around with games and getting paid for it isn't entirely new (Fumble Dimension comes to mind) but I'm not sure if I'm anywhere near as good as Jon Bois.