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SHL Onion Guest Writer: "Teleportation" Cause of Recent GM Fines
#1
(This post was last modified: 06-10-2020, 09:18 PM by Rancidbudgie.)

Word Count: 400


Goaltender Samat Beibitzhanov ( @Duff101 )was at the center of another controversy today, appearing out of thin air to come in relief to Peter Larson against the Hartford Wolf Pack this evening. Spectators attending the game were perplexed at seeing the Russian Rage prospect in Boston, as Beibitzhanov was sent down to the SMJHL and playing for the Colorado Raptors at the same time. Not a week prior, Beibitzhanov was the cause of another management fine, only for the other way around, with Colorado receiving the punishment.

“I knew something was up, I could feel it in my bones shortly after our fourth goal” Wolfpack GM @Ace, who was observing the game, comments “It was probably when we chased Larson, and the replacement goalie was in a Colorado Raptors jersey. Yeah, around that time”

After an investigation by HO, it was revealed that Beibitzhanov has developed a unique mutation that allows him to make a temporary copy of himself, and teleport that copy potentially thousands of miles away.

We reached Samat Beibitzhanov for comment, and he had this to say: “It’s bizarre. I never realized that I played for the Rage tonight - I’m just in that sorta zone for gametime, right? I don’t look to see what team I’m against, I just try and keep them from putting a puck past me.”

One of the GMs of Manhattan, @luketd, was available for questioning after the punishment, a $2m fine being levied for the infraction. “I mean, I don’t see how we can prevent teleporting goalies. Sure, I sent [Beibitzhanov] down to the SMJHL only the other day, and was wondering where Lee Marshall was, but I’m not paid to think about stuff like that too long” upon which an aide whispered in luketd’s ear, after which he added “Uhh, scratch that last bit please.”

“Besides”, luketd continued, “We would not have been in a position to even need Samat if Hartford hadn’t run up the score so quickly, so really it’s their fault, in a way”

Upon teleporting back into one body in Denver, sources say that the Anchorage Armada inquired about Beibitzhanov’s availability for trade, intrigued at the goalie’s ability in regards to the Armada’s travel schedule.

“I read comics a fair bit as a kid, and always thought it would be cool to be like the X-Men”, Beibitzhanov shakes his head remorsefully, “but not like this”.

[Image: antonescu.png]
[Image: BKGrppM.png]
Thank you to Ham and Sulo for the sigs!
Scarecrows Chiefs Renegades Dragons Stampede Panthers norway
Scarecrows Specters Switzerland
Scarecrows pride Switzerland
  Armada pride Ireland

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#2

Also, special thanks to @StamkosFan, for the SHL Onion inspiration I so shamelessly borrowed.

[Image: antonescu.png]
[Image: BKGrppM.png]
Thank you to Ham and Sulo for the sigs!
Scarecrows Chiefs Renegades Dragons Stampede Panthers norway
Scarecrows Specters Switzerland
Scarecrows pride Switzerland
  Armada pride Ireland

Reply
#3

“The Prestige”- SHL Edition

[Image: QsZ1vOb.jpeg]
[Image: lqfXIpe.jpeg]
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#4

Magician never tell how trick is done.

[Image: Duff101.gif]
Credit to Geck, Ragnar and Juni for sigs
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