Hello folks, Luffy Richard here. In case anyone has missed the news, I was the last pick of the North Stars, going 66th overall. This is exciting news for a player like me who has had a slow start to their career. I'll be a send down, so I'll still have a chance to help the Whalers compete for a cup. I'll be working on my defensive game, and on being a real threat on the penalty kill.

I am also proud to be part of a Whalers draft class that saw seven of us picked up my SHL teams which has not happened since the season 42 draft. I know my fellow Whalers will do their teams proud in the coming seasons, and this is a credit to the culture in the Vancouver locker room. Sure, we have had a couple of rough seasons, but we have never let adversity keep us down.

This has all been a growing experience for me, Luffy Richard, as a player. I hope as I mature and grow into my natural talents, teams will get tired of seeing Number Eleven screaming down the wing short-handed. Shout out to [name redacted] (one day I'll learn how to tag people) for enduring the relentless assault of pucks thrown at him every night. Also, shout out to Hartman, my penalty killing brother. This coming season, I'm sure we will try and lead the league in shorthanded points as, I believe, we did this year.   

I am hoping soon I can help the big club, but until I get my chance, I will keep working on my game to prove it was worth the chance the North Stars have taken on me.

I know there is another outlandish post by some no-name key clacker, whose report was mildly exaggerated because he spent too much time reading "scary stories to tell in the dark," and has let his imagination go crazy, but I assure you I am a professional. A professional hockey player, who plays hockey for the North Stars and Whalers, who does not run naked through the streets from the cops while holding a bag of sandwiches., and who does not believe in the puppet masters that make us play their sick little games without any self-determination. The Simulation is real and it wants to eat out dreams.   

Great Draft Everyone

ALL CAPS BECAUSE LUFFY RICHARD LOVES YOU ALL ALMOST AS MUCH AS A COOL DARK IRON LIGHT BEER AND BOWL OF ROWDY RAMN> EAT TURKEY SUBS FROM THE BODEGA, and TELL PAPI LUFFY RICHARD SENT YOU.