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tinkthegreat · 07-22-2020, 06:21 PM

Alright we're here with 6 members of the brand new Citadelles expansion squad. Welcome David Danielson, Jasper Maximov, Kev Kevens, Zedenko Beranek, and general managers Faelax and Evok. How are you? How are you? How are you? But no one is watching to hear me, it's time to get to know you on a spiritual level. I'll ask a question, and then rapid-fire, let's have each of you answer in turn! As always, I'm Brooksie, and this is...The Neutral Zone Trap Card!

(funky late 90s intro graphic with a bunch of people in tank tops, sun glasses, and a few too many spy gadgets)

1. If you were an NHL GM, which non - Connor Mcdavid player would you want to build a team around. Players are considered to be their current age. No 20 y/o Sidney Crosby.

DD: I looked up some good players under 23, and i liked what Nathan Mavkinnon brought to the table. If i owned an NHL team btw i would call them the Polar Bears and have thier colors be light blue, black, and white

JM: I'd go with Nathan MacKinnon. Auston Matthews would be another easy answer but I feel like MacKinnon has that "leader" quality to him that would make him the kind of player I'd want as the face of my franchise

KK: I’m pretty much just stealing this idea from the Avs, but building a team around Nathan MacKinnon seems like a great first step in becoming a dominant team. I think he’s one of the best young players in the league and has the potential to be at the core of a Stanley Cup winning squad.

ZB: Probably David Pastrnak. I’m definitely not a big Bruins fan, but he is the real deal.

GMF: I am picking Nathan MacKinnon. He is a top 3 player in the league in my opinion, good leader on the ice, and a very nice guy from what I can tell.

GME: Call me crazy for this choice, but I’d select Carter Hart. I was always a fan of goaltender and this kid really have what it takes to make any team very solid. He’s basically the next Carey Price and I foresee a lot of success to the flyers in the future.

2. What sports teams do you follow? Are there any that another player on QCC could mention that might cause locker room issues?

DD: My nfl team is the Bengals, my MLB team is the Reds, my college team is the Kentucky Wildcats (I am from Kentucky so it was ether that or the Louisville cardinals) and my NBA team is the Heat (once a team comes to Louisville that changes) and i guess my NHL team is the Bluejackets. Only issue i would have is if anyone mentions the Steelers or Cowboys

JM: I follow most Montréal teams but I only ever watch the Canadiens. I don't hate any team to the point of hating their fans but fans from any teams can be problematic. It depends on how they behave rather than for which team they cheer.

KK: I pretty much only follow the Calgary Flames. There might be a bit of friendly heckling if there’s an Oilers fan in the room, but I’m pretty sure Max Goodman is also a Flames fan so I’m already in good company here.

ZB: Carolina Hurricanes, Atlanta Braves, Carolina Panthers, North Carolina Tar Heels. Any Duke fans can take a hike.

GMF: I am a big Columbus Blue Jackets fan. Besides that, I also casually follow the Canucks, I watch the Columbus Crew in the MLS, the Cincinnati Reds in the MLB, and the New Orleans Saints in the NFL

GME: I basically only follow hockey. I’m a Montreal Canadiens fan and well any mention of the bruins is enough to trigger me.

3.Which NHL player, past or present, MOST and LEAST resemble your play style?

DD: I guess Dominik Hasek would be the closet I am trying to be because he is the best. The least like me would be a bad goalie i guess!

JM: I guess I would aspire to be as good and physical as a guy like Denis Potvin. I don't think I'll get there but it's great to dream. Least like my play style, Ryan O'Byrne is a good pick because I don't plan to score in my own goal!

KK: I’d like to think that my play style is most similar to Mark Stone. Not sure if I know enough details to elaborate, but I’ve always looked to him as an example of one of the best two-way forwards in the NHL. As for the player who least resembles my style, there’s a wide range to choose from, but I think the most notable player is probably Alex Ovechkin. Every aspect of the game that he excells in is most likely one of my weak points.

ZB: Hopefully, I’d like to think my player will be like Pavel Bure. So what’s the opposite of that? Who are the slowest guys? Like Jason Allison? Dan Girardi?

GMF: I am planning for my player to be a Nicklas Backstrom type player, playmaking center who is still a threat when shooting the puck, runs a power play, and plays solid defense.

GME: Well as I’m a goaltender, it’s pretty much trickier to say who would resemble me the least, as basically any bad goaltender would be it. As for my style of play, I do base it on Carter Hart style.

4. When the disney movie comes out about the Citadelles, who would you like cast as yourself?

DD: If i had complete control over who played me it would be Ryan Reynolds. He is just hilarious.

JM: Michael Fassbender would be able to capture my essence, both in charm and in skill.

KK: I’m not the biggest movie buff, so I don’t have anyone specific in mind, but I know I definitely wouldn’t cast anyone well known. I imagine the best person to play me would be be fairly new to their acting career and not want to be in the spotlight of the movie, but they’d still be able to provide a strong supporting presence.

ZB: A drunk person once said I look like Matt Damon, so if that fits in the budget I’m game.

GMF: Nick Cage is going to play me in the Disney version of Citadelles

GME: I would love to have Liam Cunningham as the General Manager of the team. My current GM is represented by Alex Galchenyuk but Oisin Fletcher is a Canadian born Irish player. Having a famous Irish actor make sense for me.

5. On a related note, what is a cartoon you loved as a child, and which character speaks to you the most?
* if, for example, one of the Rugrats is LITERALLY speaking to you, I would also like to hear about that

DD: Ed Edd N Eddy is one of my favorite cartoons as a kid, and Double D (aka Edd) from there is socially awkward but smart like me. Unfortunately these days Bljack Horseman is starting to feel more like my life on occasion.

JM: I watched cartoons like the Flintstones a lot with my parents as a kid. Fred is the most memorable character and he speaks to me because I also love bowling.

KK: For this one, I don’t think there’s any cartoon show better than Spongebob. Unfortunately none of the characters literally speak to me, but I’ve always had a soft spot for Squidward. I’m not sure what exactly it is about him, but he was always my favourite.

ZB: I mean, my favorite cartoon growing up was Pokemon, but I don’t think I can say any of those characters spoke to me. Maybe Charlie Brown?

GMF: Spongebob was my favorite cartoon growing up hands down. It was great as a kid and still hold up very well as an adult. I empathize with Squidward as an adult as well.

GME: I was not really watching a lot of cartoon when I was young. If I had to pick, it would probably be Ash Ketchum from Pokemon.

6. As we are in French Canada, what is a poutine topping combo you think we should give a chance?

DD: (elected to skip, will study poutine extensively this season)

JM: I think everybody should try poutine with smoked meat. It's delicious.

KK: I’m thinking this might already be a fairly common combo, but you definitely can’t go wrong with some green onion and bacon. For something that might be less popular, I feel like a fried egg with spinach would go really nicely with poutine. Not sure how anyone else would feel about that though.

ZB: I have no idea.

GMF: Poutine is perfect as is and shouldn't be messed with.

GME: Definitively hot dog. As a French Canadian myself, I know it’s an excellent toping to have on a poutine.

7. We all love the owl logo for the Citadelles. Which of our GMs, Evok or Faelax, do you think would fare the best in a fight with an aggressive human-sized owl? Does your answer change if we introduce more owls?

DD: Nether. You both would not fare well against such a big bird. Bird bites are no joke. I know cause I have a bird. Unless you have a gun, a human sized owl would wreck you.

JM: I'm not familiar with Faelax but I would indeed trust Evok to protect me against angry owls.

KK: I haven’t had too much time to speak with both GMs, but considering Evok’s discord picture is our owl logo, I have to say that Evok has the edge here regardless of how many owls there are. However, to be fair, I have faith in Faelax as well and think they’d put up an incredible fight against these agressive human-sized owls.

ZB: I have never met Faelax and have to admit, didn’t know he existed until Evok named him Co-GM around the time I came back to SHL. So I’m going Evok by default.

GMF: I don't know anything about Evok as far as how in shape she is, but I feel like I could take one human sized owl. Multiple owls probably get me though.

GME: Honestly? I think both of us will get obliterate by the owls. It’s a human sized owl! And no the question does not change with more owls.

8. Which of your new teammates do you think will be the biggest drama queen this season?
* It is a copout to just say "Petrov"

DD: I ain't throwing any teammate under the bus.

JM: Yes, Petrov looks like a troublemaker.

KK: I know Zach Dolphin has a brother in the league who was also just drafted, so I’m thinking that family connection might be the source for an inner drama queen to come out. That’s a complete guess though and I’ll be interested to see who on the team turns out to be the real drama queen as the season progresses.

ZB: Me.

GMF: I hear that Roach guy can get a little demanding at times. I hear that when he was in Maine he would pull pranks on the rookies who didn't pass him the puck.

GME: I think it will be Stan Q Next. @iamslm22 100%

9. Please make an argument for why Brad Marchand is the GOAT. You may replace with Tom Wilson, Nazem Kadri, or either Tkachuk brother.

DD: I plead the 5th

JM: Well, dude has won Cups by being a whiney douchebag. That takes skills.

KK: As a Flames fan, I don’t have to argue why Matthew Tkachuk is the GOAT cause his career so far speaks for itself. He’s only 22 years old and is already putting up near point-per-game seasons, while also being an incredible agitator on and off the ice. Sure, he might not be universally liked, but that’s just jealousy from other teams who wish they had him. He does absolutely everything for the Flames, and he does it all in style.

ZB: I would go with Matty Tkachuk for this argument, but I brought even more shame to him by using him as the render for Nikolai Evans than any scummy thing he’s done in his career. Which is really saying something. Tom Wilson can especially kick rocks.

GMF: Yeah sure, Marchand is the GOAT. The GOAT of failing at shootouts.

GME: While I am a Canadiens fan, I will say that Bergeron is the goat basically because he’s from Quebec.

10. To finish off, can we get you to say "I'm __, and you're watching the Disney Channel". Mickey Mouse wand drawing and everything, please.

DD: I'm WildfireMicro and you're watch Disney Channel. my wand somehow sets the drawing on fire and I bail

JM: Um, I'm Jasper Maximov and you're watching the Disney Channel. Wait this is the Disney Channel? Will I get in trouble for talking about the Flinstones? Please don't hurt my family.

KK: I’m Kev Kevens, and you’re watching the Disney Channel. woosh magical Mickey drawing

ZB: I’m … Zdenko Beranek? … and you’re watching the Disney Channel? That’s still a thing? Disney Plus didn’t kill it?

GMF: Hey, I'm Faelax, and you're watching the Disney Channel.

GME: I'm Evok, and you're watching the Disney Channel!

And that about wraps it up for tonight's show! Tune in next time when we find out that Julian Cunningham is actually several highly trained sea lions!

For payout: Please split payout evenly among tinkthegreat, WildfireMicro, Keven, enigmatic, ztevans, evok, faelax

Evok · 07-22-2020, 06:32 PM

great variety of answers from the team Citadelles

enigmatic · 07-22-2020, 06:33 PM

07-22-2020, 06:21 PMtinkthegreat Wrote: KK: I’m thinking this might already be a fairly common combo, but you definitely can’t go wrong with some green onion and bacon. For something that might be less popular, I feel like a fried egg with spinach would go really nicely with poutine. Not sure how anyone else would feel about that though.

WildfireMicro · 07-22-2020, 06:34 PM

Thanks for the interview

tinkthegreat · 07-22-2020, 06:37 PM

No, thank YOU!

*Keven* · 07-22-2020, 07:11 PM

07-22-2020, 06:33 PMenigmatic Wrote:
07-22-2020, 06:21 PMtinkthegreat Wrote: KK: I’m thinking this might already be a fairly common combo, but you definitely can’t go wrong with some green onion and bacon. For something that might be less popular, I feel like a fried egg with spinach would go really nicely with poutine. Not sure how anyone else would feel about that though.

Can''t knock it till you've tried it! More delicious poutine for me I guess. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

**iamslm22** · 07-23-2020, 11:51 AM

Good read!

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