Login

Rancidbudgie · 08-03-2020, 01:40 PM

Nicolae Antonescu had been approached by a new hockey equipment company that specialized in making goalie gear, particularly masks. They introduced a new line of mask, and wanted to demonstrate its stopping power. Being made of mostly Kevlar, the mask line is technically bulletproof.

They got Antonescu to star in a commercial where he is walking down the street beside an alleyway and a man tries to mug him with a gun. Quickly thinking, Antonescu reaches into his bag of gear and draws out his mask. In slow-motion, the camera pans over the sleek but strong design of the mask as the mugger fires his gun. Putting the mask on just in time (and somehow faster than a speeding bullet), the mask deflects the bullet back into the mugger's gun, causing it to shatter. The mugger flees, and Antonescu is left standing tall with the mask on. The caption "if this could stop a bullet, what chance do you think a hockey puck has?" (as well as a disclaimer stating to never try this at home).

The commercial paid pretty well, but Antonescu wonders if it was worth it, as it is something his teammates make fun of him endlessly for being in.

Thank you to Ham and Sulo for the sigs!

*slothfacekilla* · 08-03-2020, 01:57 PM

Code:
What company is offering you the equipment sponsorship? How do you feel about switching companies for your new [skates/pads/stick/gloves/etc/]? What else has the company asked you to do to promote their brand - are you in any advertisements for the equipment? (150 words min.)

I'm not sure any companies would really be interested in having Jimmy Slothface wearing their equipment, but I guess with him winning a championship he could have gotten a new sponsorship this season. I will say that Warrior has asked Jimmy to choose them as a sponsor, I chose Warrior because it was the first company that jumped in my mind and seemed like a good idea. Warrior could outfit Jimmy in all new equipment: skates, pads, stick, gloves, helmet, etc. He would exclusively wear their gear on the ice and show up at a few event to promote their products. Maybe he could show up and demo new Warrior gear and hand it out to kids after. I'm not sure that there are too many commercials on TV with SHL players and their endorsement products, but maybe Jimmy could join some other Warrior shl pros in a television commercial to help push the products as well. Maybe some sponsored tweets too, but Jimmy Slothface doesn't tweet too often so I can't imagine Warrior will try very hard to make that happen.

182 words

***golden_apricot*** · 08-03-2020, 02:10 PM

pt pass

*Toast* · 08-03-2020, 03:01 PM

As one of the most exciting prospects in Minnesota, CCM contacted Jack Klompus with a sponsorship offer for the CCM Jetspeed FT2 hockey stick. Having minimal success in the goals department so far this season in the SMJHL, Klompus was happy to accept the sponsorship opportunity.

Billboards went up showing Klompus taking a slap shot with text advertising the stick surrounding the puck on fire. These showed up in Newfoundland where the defender is playing his third year and in St. Paul where he will eventually become one of the Minnesota Chiefs.

The condition that CCM gave Klompus that he was required to show a shooting drill from a practice on his social medias (which he wasn't really fond of using overall) and a bonus was offered if he would be able to score 10 goals throughout the season. So far it has been a slow start for Klompus but with a new deal and new stick, hopefully this will be the turning point he needs this season.

Code:
169

TomHanks · 08-03-2020, 03:40 PM

The Hanson Brothers, having seen Jakob bringing the old style of hard-hitting hockey back to major leagues, have decided to launch a new brand of gloves. These gloves, known as “The Foil” are made for the hockey player who leaves his gloves on to fight. Rather than having to put on one’s own foil before every game, you can put on the foil by just sliding your hands into your gloves. Already lined with a thick layer of tin foil, these gloves are certain to make the impact you want with every punch. Even if you’re not getting it a fight, your hands hit your opponent in a standard cross check. Make sure they aren’t able to get up for a few seconds after every hit with The FoilTM. You may be asking yourself, is it legal to have layers and layers of tin foil in your gloves? Surely that is incredibly dangerous for everyone? The answer to those questions is simple: everything is legal unless you get caught.

TheHockeyist · 08-03-2020, 04:00 PM

Igor Volkov has always had trouble with his skate laces untying, requiring them to retied in the middle of seemingly every game. This continued into his contract with New England. Some of his teammates through the years got frustrated at this, while others didn't mind do so much. Either way, after an angry rant last season, Igor's complaints got the attention of a startup company called Tightbite Skates, who offered Igor a solution. Visually the result would not be too different or lead to embarrassment, which is one thing Igor wanted of the solution. The skates were modded mechanically with a robotic mechanism on the inside that ran through both the boot and the laces. The feel would not be too different for Igor. When a button on the side of his skates were pressed (like the old Ribcors), the laces would run code written in the TIGHT-ROBOT™ programming language to automatically tie and tighten themselves. This was so that Igor would not have to figure out the motions on his own, but export it to a robot to take care of it automatically. The tightening is not expected to damage the wires inside the laces.

Igor tried it out and was mostly satisfied with the result. His main complaint was it was too easy to for someone to bump into him from the side, untie his skates, and trip. He says he's also concerned that someone would prank untie his skates on the ice during training.

The beta version will take his complaints and relocate the mechanism used, as well as double-checking the strength of the wires. Earlier prototypes did not hold up for the wear of an intense simulated season.

Nonetheless, Igor plans to switch to using Tightbite Skates once the errors are sorted out. In the meantime, he'll continue with his current method of relying on his teammates.

The only condition was that he document his progress for one season in the SHL.

***Gwdjohnson*** · 08-03-2020, 04:30 PM

There were a series of allegations over social and written media brought into the public eye against Steelhawks defenseman Gabe Johnson recently, mainly involving a supposed usage of Viagra as a performance enhancer on the ice. Following a conclusion by Head Office that Johnson could continue using the tablets as a medicinal necessity to counteract his issue with having SPS (Small Peen Syndrome), the Viagra company themselves reached out to Johnson in order for him to sponsor his usage of the drug during his games. Johnson has said publicly that he turned down the deal and felt insulted by the offer being made considering he has no proven links to usage of the drug, but it's so obvious at this point that he uses it that the media have stopped challenging him on it. Johnson's equipment deal, although not public as per request by the player, involves using Viagra tablet coloured gear on everything that doesn't have to be mandatorily team based colours.

(168 words)

EricNCSU · 08-03-2020, 04:53 PM

Eric Hudson received a call over the off-season from an upstart equipment manufacturer, Carolina Carbonworks. Specializing in carbon shafts for hockey sticks, lacrosse sticks and golf clubs, the company was born on NC State's Centennial Campus incubator before moving out into their own space. The deal includes custom sticks, as well as print media and appearances at trade shows. The sticks are not yet available to the public, though that is in the future plans. Along with free sticks and a small yearly stipend, the deal also includes a 5% minority ownership stake. Hudson was specifically singled out because he is from North Carolina, although talks are in the works as well with several Carolina Kraken players. Since the company is so new, Hudson will also serve as honorary "research scientist". Any sticks that break, as well as some heavily used practice and game sticks will be sent back to the company for analysis and stress testing. Hudson is incredibly proud to represent a local North Carolina company and hopes the relationship can be a long one.

Kalakar · 08-03-2020, 04:57 PM

simmer claim

*kenvald* · 08-03-2020, 05:00 PM

Sven got the exciting call from his agent that BAUER had been in contact, asking him to to start wearing their brand exclusively. Yxskaft of course had to qualms with this. He has never been an ambassador for any brand but has instead went along with whatever fits and is works well. He is already using BAUER skates which really is the most important thing.

Since Sven does not have a social media presence the team at BAUER asked him to be present during an event or two each year. Sven is supposed to meet and talk to fans that come to the event, sign autographs, and of course, give out BAUER swag while telling everyone how much better his game feels now that he has started wearing it exclusively.

Sven has no issues with this as long as it does not end up happening too often. While he really enjoys meeting his fans and making them happy. Sometimes it can be a little exhausting.

***Aephino*** · 08-03-2020, 05:20 PM

I currently have been rocking my Bauer Nexus 2n stick for a couple years now. I got it as soon as it came out, but it might be time for a change. A newer company has entered the hockey equipment realm -- Xolphin. When they first reached out to me, I thought it was some sort of drug? I turned them down because I would never use any type of drug besides Androstene-- I mean... I never use drugs. Anyway, they wrote back to me and offered me to trial their new hockey stick, the Xolphin Volt 3. I'd never heard of the Volt 1 or 2, but I guess someone must have bought enough for them to make a third. I don't sign a contract or advertise anything that I don't personally love, so I told them I'll let them know. But I tried the Volt 3 and it felt amazing. I'm not going to lie, I don't think I will ever get the same familiarity as with the Nexus 2n, but I feel like I'm hitting shots harder and puck handling cleaner. All I have to do is go to a photo shoot and I get $200,000 for the season.

Tate · 08-03-2020, 06:18 PM

In terms of an equipment sponsorhip change for Knox Booth, only one company came a calling and that was CCM. There hasn't been many hockey athletes in the past who could truly represent the branding on CCM like Knox Booth can, and that has a lot to do with how good he looks on camera and his roots being from Canada. Yes, Knox did switch to Czechia but he has forgotten the country that gave him life and so he wanted to make it up to them by joining with CCM and representing their brand. The great thing about it is that Knox now has some new sick pads that he can wear that he has had freshly painted in the Los Angeles Panthers colors. Knox is truly grateful for his past sponsorships but if they want a star goaltender to continue to represent them they have to pony up and pay the man. As they say, money talks. Thanks for the payday CCM!

165 words

karey · 08-03-2020, 07:31 PM

Victor Marius exclusively likes to wear only CCM gloves pants shoes sucks shirts hats jackets because he's the greatest player in the world and upgraded players in the world also aware that apartment and he will always win when he wears that equipment cuz he's the best in the world.

recently he has discovered a new brand that he would choose to wear in his old age and that brand is depends. Depends makes adult diapers but they've also started making hockey pants because he's so old. And with his old age he wants to wear pants that'll also allow him to poop if he has to get hit into the boards and his bowels release ourselves he wants to be protected and with the new endorsement from depends he would be fine to get him the porridge and poop and still be able to finish the game.

Steve · 08-03-2020, 07:50 PM

*leviadan* · 08-03-2020, 08:48 PM

JOFA has decided to re-emerge as a top hockey brand and is hoping that the world's top gritty grinders will wear and promote their new gear. Luckily for Burlok he's already been wearing his grandfather's 1998 JOFA gear. So ultimately, the move to the new 2020 models shouldn't be a big shock to the system. That being said, the helmets are somehow even taller than they used to be.

Burlok is starring from the eyes up in a series of Instagram ads that show how tall the new helmets are compared to the competition. They seem to think the height is a huge advantage. "The bigger they are, the softer they fall" is their new tagline. He also has to do voiceover for a few radio spots where he talks about the toughness of their shoulder and elbow pads, with emphasis on how "JOFA hits like a MOFO!" Burlok isn't fond of the implication of a curse word, but it's a pretty effective slogan. All in all he makes a cool two million for one day of work, and he gets new models of the equipment he was already wearing. What's not to love?

And don't forget-- JOFA hits like a MOFO!

[Image: pin1_1.gif?ex=663a63f4&is=66391274&hm=70...8f89c3f46&]

Navigation

Extra Menu

About us