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SHL Onion: Anti-Mask Goalies Protest Mask Mandates
#1
(This post was last modified: 07-30-2020, 08:42 PM by StamkosFan.)

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The anti-mask movement is gaining traction among goalies, who feel that requiring masks infringes on their freedoms. Despite pleas from HO and other officials to comply with mask orders, some goalies have been showing up to rinks without any face covering. Player safety officials insist that masks reduce the spread of head injuries and protect everyone from each other, but protests against the rules have persisted anyways.

"This is head office overreach and it is unrulebookitutional. This is about human rights, the masks should not be mandated. We should have the freedom to choose whether we want to wear one, and we are uniting to stand up against this tyrannic oppression," said Markus Tegernako @KlusteR , the anti-mask goalie who organized the movement.

Anti-mask goalies' latest method of protest has been to wear masks that offer zero protection against flying pucks, most notably when Aleister Cain @SlashACM showed up in a Halloween mask to New Orleans' most recent game. Some referees have accused the anti-maskers of "clear Karen behavior" and "verbally assaulting" them. A video on YouTube of Frans Eller @Ace screaming at a referee who tried to kick him off the rink for not wearing a mask went viral earlier in the week. Among other things, he compared the referees to the Gestapo and claimed he had a breathing condition that gave him exemption from the mask order.

"I doubt how effective masks really are, when hockey first started they said that masks did nothing to help the goalies, now they want us to wear them? The flu kills more people than pucks to the head, it's not that deadly. We wouldn't have even known about head injuries if not for the media hype. This isn't about protecting me, it's about pushing an agenda," said Aleister Cain.

HO has implored the goalies to trust in science and data, and the numerous studies that say that mask wearing reduces head injuries. However, there are documentaries that present alternative information on Facebook that goalies cite as reasons not to wear masks. Removal of these videos due to them violating social media misinformation policies just leads to outcry and claims that the companies are suppressing free speech and the truth on their platforms. The majority of goalies still support wearing masks, but the vocal minority is gaining more and more visibility and influence.

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#2

My face is ugly enough that puck damage would improve it

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#3

terry sawchucks around here

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#4

If I wanna wear a chef's hat on the rink, it's my business, and mine alone. *hmmph*

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#5

This satire *mwhuaaa* perfecto

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#6

Lmao

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