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S56 PT #3 - Subscription Service

Jöörgüštrâäd DuBølk has quite the resume with subscription services. The one that he's been pushing as of late is Gröw, a subscription service that provides a monthy box of growth serums. One day after practice, Jöörgüštrâäd had finished practice for the day, when he was approached by some gentlemen in trench coats. They had asked Jöörgüštrâäd if they could represent their brand for a significant sum of money. Being one to not turn down a deal (plus a slight misunderstanding of english), he agreed. A few comercials and photoshoots later, and Jöörgüštrâäd has a cool wad of cash in his hand. As he exited, he noticed a few unmarked cars, along with a street full of some of Anaheim's Finest, including those from Disneyland. After a conversation, it turns out it was actually a shrinking serum, and therefore violated numerous consumer product guidelines. Feeling betrayed, he then snuck into the building, destroying all samples.

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Mack Daddy loves to fish and he has teamed up with Fatty Fish to create a new lure which is included in their monthly lurebox subscription service. Sign up today for $19.99 CAD a month and you will be sent a package of 10 different lures each month and every 12th month is free. If you sign up today and use the code "Daddy Fatty" you get 20% off your first 3 months. Not only will you get the new Mack Lure in your first box you will also get 3 bonus lures hand picked by Daddy himself. There is two different packages you can sign up for a spinner box or a fly fishing kit. They both have some of the top products on the market today including names like: Rolpolo, Takly, Frogofish, Landshark and Buster Junk. Everyone who signs up this month is also entered into a draw to go Fly Fishing with Mack Daddy in the Colorado Rockies at a secret location. Call today!

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First SHL goal on first SHL shot in first SHL game.

The hottest new subscription service is now available, and offered to you at the low, low price of $19.99/month! That's USD of course, so a small fortune in Canadian dollars. But every cent will surely be worth it for subscribers of Lassi Suhonen's Big Yoshi Box. What is the Big Yoshi Box, you ask? Endorsed by the captain of the Newfoundland Berserkers himself, the Big Yoshi Box (or the BYB as it is affectionately known) is a care package full of big (or beeg, if you're a man of culture) Yoshi gear. Need a new shirt featuring you favourite beeg green guy? The BYB has you covered - maybe, if the shirt is included that month, anyway. Maybe a hat with him on it. Or socks. You get the idea - it's a bunch of stuff with official* big yoshi merchandise, sometimes signed by Newfoundland Vaseline "Beegyoshi" Podcalzone himself. What better time to buy?

*not actually licensed

Something happened on the day he died. Spirit rose a metre and stepped aside.
Somebody else took his place, and bravely cried. I’m a blackstar, I’m a blackstar.

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 a bottomless curse, a bottomless sea, source of all greatness, all things that be.

For the S56 SHL season, rookie winger William Hartmann was given a sponsorship deal with Target, called Net Front Delivery. In the times of the pandemic, the need for grocery supplies for those unwilling or unable to leave their homes has skyrocketed, creating an opportunity in the market for online shopping. For just $100 a month, you can get unlimited groceries delivered to your house from your local Target store, allowing you to keep cooking those delicious recipes from the comfort of your own home. Every delivery is stored to keep it as fresh and safe as possible, our friendly staff have been trained to fill your orders with efficiency, and our tracking system is more accurate than William Hartmann's wrist shot. (Seriously, how the bloody hell do you only have four goals so far, Hartmann? Hit the gym.) This service is fast, relatively cheap, and allows you to keep working on those recipes and spend time with your families in the time of COVID.

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Sig credits to @Nokazoa
Quote:2;717;William Hartmann receives the pass in stride and he's in on a breakaway!
2;717;William Hartmann makes his move...
2;717;It's across the line!
Quote:Game 2, S56: TOR @ EDM
11:52 2nd: William Hartmann (1) assisted by FR Finn-Rhys (3) and Karlstrasse Scholz (2)

Hubert has been approached by companies in the past for endorsement deals but is picky about what brands he is willing to partner with. Last season he inked a deal with a company making flannel suits because it was a product he believed in and this holds true with this next business venture. This new partnership is with the Maine Seafood Corporation, to be the face of their new subscription service. For a low cost of 60 dollars a month MSC will send you weekly deliveries of live shellfish and other seafood straight to your door. What sets them apart from the other seafood delivery companies is the vast diversity of their products, where one week you may get oysters, and another it may be lobster. Everything is shipped live to give you the flexibility to prepare the dishes however you would like. And as a special treat, once a year customers will receive a "Mystery Box" which is a collection of various kinds of known shellfish and some that have not yet been described by scientists.

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The product that my player, Alex Marshall, will be offering to people is shoulder pads. Seeing as Marshall prides himself on being a physical player, he would like to endorse that side of the game of hockey. And so, Marshall will be offering limited edition shoulder pads, sponsored by Bauer hockey, once a month for the next year. These shoulder pads are the same custom shoulder pads that Marshall uses, and he can promise that they are strong and durable. These shoulder pads will keep people safe whether they are delivering big hits or taking a hit to make a play. Marshall will sign every pair of shoulder pads personally and visit local areas to take pictures with those who are interested and give autographs. Marshall will also give a 20-minute lesson to young kids on how to effectively deliver a hit, as well as how to take a hit. Kids need to know how to stay safe when it comes to the physical side of hockey, and Marshall is one of the best people to show them exactly how to do that.

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There is only one acceptable department that Jack Kanoff can really star in and that is none other than the sex industry. He is an incredibly sexy man with a sexier name and it truly shines in this industry as he is featured on a number of MAGNUM condom packages. Small body, big dick is his favorite motto as the 5'11 defenceman constantly finds himself shorter than his teammates and friends across the league. Jack Kanoff's Magnum Sized Kondoms are a major hit in today's era as people have nothing better than fuck during the quarantine. Jack's play on the ice has also helped earn him this big contract with Trojan as he uses his speed and offensive prowess to penetrate the opposing team's defenses and use his speed to exhaust the opposition's players and get them all sweaty. This was truly a genius contract to sign on both ends as it has allowed Jack to spread his name around the world in order to get more fans and it has allowed Trojan to get ahold of the young star.

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Nour is pretty hot ngl

In these trying times there are more than a few things that people have had to cut back on. Personal, face to face interaction has become increasingly hard to come by, not to mention possibly unsafe. As such a new startup, funded by Samat Beibitzhanov, seeks to safely deliver a key missing link in the world: no holds barred fistfights. The new service, which is yet unnamed, will provide you with someone on demand to get into a fistfight with you. Whether they just show at your door, or show up at a place of your choosing to agitate, they will initiate a fistfight on your terms. They offer multiple weight classes for you to make sure you face a fair fight, as well as multiple different styles of fighting, from traditional wrestling, to MMA, to full on no holds barred fistfights. Our fighters are screened for COVID beforehand for your safety and convenience. Expect this to come about in 2021.

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Subscription based services are a very trendy business to get into. You've got people spending there hard earned money every quarter or sometimes even month with no guarantee of what they're actually getting. And what better way to get more people to start paying for you service than to get a big name athlete to sponsor it. Sadly, this company could only afford to sign A Jobin to their service. So, without further to do and no pomp and circumstance I present to you, A Jobin's monthly chicken nugget loot box. That's right, every month you will receive a box on your doorstep containing not one, not two, not even three, but four different shaped chicken nuggets for you to cook and enjoy. I know, you're thinking "Do they taste any different?" no, they don't, but each month has a different theme to it. Sign up now to receive October's box with 4 different "At the Beach" themed nuggets. All of this can be yours for the low price of $14.99 a month plus shipping and handling. Just remember, get to you box before the neighborhood dogs do.

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Reginald MacIntyre has partnered with a company which offers a subscription service to premium whiskys, ryes, and various other international spirits and liquors he has personally sampled and approved for enjoyment. Every month, for $200, you'll be sent a 750-mL bottle of a fine imported spirit, with full information on the drink, including alcohol content, manufacturer location, and some (but not all) inside information on the process and selection of ingredients. You have options to subscribe to a particular selection, or accept shipment of any and every monthly bottle we send! Receive selections of only the choicest hard stuff from all around the world - from the finest of scrumpys made in Scotland, to top-shelf rum from the Caribbean, to select vodkas made in Russian distilleries with recipes guarded with the makers' very lives. Every so often, an American spirit goes toe-to-toe with the stuff from the source, and we like to feature them as well when they rise to the occasion! Otherwise, we focus on bringing you the finest stuff from abroad you'll have a hard time finding elsewhere.

Speedwagon Player Page | Speedwagon Updates Page 

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Do you ever feel lonely? Perhaps a bit blue? Don't worry, Disisde Dayusmile is here for you! With out top notch entertainment subscription you get access to every funny clip of Disisde's happy go lucky fun life! Sad about your lacking knowledge in a foreign language? Don't worry, we have the funniest interviews of Disisde trying to speak english. Sad that you suck at games? Don't worry, Disisde Dayusmile's got you! Get access to every gaming clip containing Disisdes horrible gaming skills. Sad that you don't like anime? Disisde will personally come to your house to force you into watching the top notch animes out there! Did we say force? No He will bring his best snack and a 4-pack of 1,5 litre pepsi max to make the whole experience enjoyable! Do you like romance? Rent a girlfriend, boom. Do you like action? Naruto is a classic. Are you lewd and like MMORPGS? Konosuba is the series for you. Don't worry, just sign up at Disisdedayusmile.jap now for a free month!

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PBE affiliate

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Now i am not entirely sure why any brand would want Ambacas Cuddles, defender for the Tampa Bay Barracuda, to be their spokesman in their commercial, but for some god forsaken reason it happened. Cuddles has gotten an endorsement deal from none other than frosted mini wheats. This deal has netted Cuddles a lot of fame and recognition and has netted frosted mini wheats absolutely nothing. The ad goes as such: it shows Ambacas devouring a bowl of frosted mini wheats, enjoying it thoroughly. Once he finishes, he says while standing up, showing off his cartoonish height. “Eat frosted mini wheats, they make you big like me”. Very ironic and clever scripting by the team for this ad wow that is very impressive. The script actually uses juxtaposition as the word mini in mini wheats means small, or very small. Ambacas Cuddles is a very tall person standing at 7 feet 9 inches, meaning he is the opposite of mini. Wow so deep

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Thanks to @karey and @JSS for the sigs!

Ethan Price a man who is known as someone who isn't the best chef in the city has recently been approached by a company with an interesting subscription service idea. The thought was a monthly delivery of macaroni and cheese, all you have to do is add the water. They're going based off the idea that you won't eat anything else apart for macaroni during the month, hence their pricing of $399/month. Some may think that the pricing is a bit excessive, but you'll be receiving 5 gallons of mac and cheese each month. The plan is to offer it in everyone's favorite flavors such as natural lime, black cherry and my personal favorite watermelon. Odds are this is going to end up becoming extremely popular heading into the future, most likely causing a macaroni shortage sometime down the line. Purchase now if you aren't wack Smile

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