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StadiumGambler · 12-27-2020, 02:01 AM

(Word count is close to 450 I think. Just making this article to take advantage of the 2x bonus. This article and the twitter account it mentions ( https://twitter.com/ILHTSportsNews ) are tongue-in-cheek and not meant to be taken seriously.)

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In news that will no doubt set sports journalism back another 20 years, former ZMT Sports employees Isaac Lane and Huey Treeman announced the formation of the ILHT Sports journalism outlet today. The two controversial former editors of ZMT Sports had their contracts terminated last week by the sensationalist news outlet, terminations that were rumoured to be tied to lawsuit settlement agreements. ZMT Sports recently settled out of court with Winnipeg Jets star Nick Brain and retired journeyman SBA guard Gerald Eddy to avoid going to court for libel, and the terminations of Lane and Treeman's contracts were a carrot in that negotiation.

Lane and Treeman are intending to land on their feet, however, with their new media outlet, and have already announced a fitting hire of Rip Murdoch, a twice convicted felon, currently on probation for aggravated stalking. Rip Murdoch's poison pen has harassed several SHL players over the years, notably the aforementioned Jets star Nick Brain, who was the victim of a falsely documented "Day In The Life" article that portrayed Brain as a pretentious blowhard. Rip is said to be thrilled to have dubiously legal employment again, and is already hard at "work" trying to find several "scoops" on the world of sports, after being banned from every SBA locker room for his rumour mill articles.

Decent sports journalists everywhere that cover the SHL fear for the worst.

"I mean, Fitted Hockey Network was bad, Beans Hockey Network was worse, but we survived that." said one anonymous journalist. "But a ZMT Sports offshoot? Christ, I might as well quit being a journalist now and pick a more respectable profession, like male stripper or something."

Indeed, the outlet's reputation is so bad amongst it's peers that it's gotten the nickname "Innuendo, Lies, and Half Truth" Sports News, although to hear some reporters talk, half truth may be one half too many for them.

Multiple SHL teams are already rumoured to be reacting quickly to the formation of this new media outlet. Winnipeg Jets Advisor to the GM John Torrance has already issued a memo to the Jets players that any interaction with an ILHT reporter will lead to fines for poor conduct, and many other SHL teams are rumoured to be following suit. The Hamilton Steelhawks are among the few who haven't, however, reasoning that the team gets so much media flak anyways that one more outlet ragging on them wouldn't make a difference.

The ILHT twitter account is already at full steam, generating rumours designed to unsettle fun-loving Tampa Bay Barracuda forward Michael Fitted from his team, as well as mudslinging towards the ISFL's Yellowknife Wraiths. Signs are that more is to come.

God help us all.

*Zoone16* · 12-27-2020, 01:30 PM

SHLMG best news network. Wink

Fitted2106 · 12-28-2020, 06:57 PM

FITTED HOCKEY NETWORK IS A WELL ESTABLISHED WELL R ESPECTED ORGANZIATION THAT PROVIDES HARD HITTING COVERGAE RETRACT THIS SMEAR

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