Hey guys, it's been a while so I thought I'd do one of these for fun. 

For those that don't know me I'm currently a Seattle Argonauts defenseman/Germany Co-Fed Head. It's been just over a year since I've joined the site and a while since I did my last presser so feel free to ask me whatever comes to mind!

hi jeffie I hope youve been enjoying your time on the SHL For the past year

I've been having a ton of fun since I've joined the league. I've met some fantastic people during my time here (Like yourself!) and it's truly been a rewarding experience

How recently have you been hearing the chants of Rule Britannia in the Seattle LR, especially with IIHF coming up?

Also how confident do you feel about Germany's chances of getting a medal?

Too recently, considering you posted a video right after these questions. The worst part was I spent all 6 minutes watching the whole thing.

I'm pretty confident, Tomen's one of the best GMs in the league and someone I fully trust running the strats in the IIHF. All we need is a little luck to go our way and we could be on the verge of something great. Obviously we probably can't compete with teams like Canada and such but hopefully we can get a medal this time despite what's happened the last few seasons 

why should I even bother asking you questions when you yoink my players?

Because you could learn from the one and only Jeffrey420, Master Tamperer. :gwdCD:

Jeffie how do u get the beeg yoshi

I beg Tig to draft the beegest of all yoshis and then I do the !beeg thing and I get the beeeeeeeeeeg yoshi

hello gabe johnson alt

how's seattle been, and can you see them making any offseason moves outside of the draft?

what's it like being the most hated fed head?

what made you decide to play for germany, and how have you enjoyed playing for the most inferior german speaking iihf nation?
did gabe force you to do this presser?

Hey bloos f u

Seattle's been good to me, Tig's one of my favorite GMs in the league and I honestly view him as one of the best in the league and he has a clear vision with this team and the direction he wants to take them in. Trips, Grok, ProjectSaint and Beeg have been fantastic LR presences and I love them all as well.
I honestly don't know what it'd be like to be the most hated fed head, maybe you can tell me something about it since you have experience?
It was honestly a mix of some of my best friends playing there (Lime, Paq, Burlok), wanting to play with a Fed Head I can trust in Tomen and just wanting a place to play unlike Canada that had informed me (at the time) that I'd have to wait upto 6 seasons just to get the call. Unfortunately I haven't really played for Austria so I can't answer that question.
Yes, Gabe big bully and the worst part is he never asks me questions :( he just wanted to see me suffer.

how fat and full are your balls?

Very fat, huge, massive even. Could be fuller but it will do for now

Why u so stinky?

Whats your favorite drink?

Why Jack Kanoff?

Pogu?

I've been hanging out with you too much smh Hallsy stinky boi

Good Ol' cum (Coke and Rum) for the kids like Bloos reading this 75% Sprite and 25% Nestea, can't go wrong.

Jack Kanoff best name. But in all honesty I just wanted to pick a meme name since I didn't see myself sticking around long-term but hey, I actually enjoyed my time in the league and decided to stick around in the league so there's that!

PogO who asked?

What is your favourite kind of smoothie?

Favourite moment through your SHL career so far?

Isn't it funny how Jack Kanoff sounds like Jacking Off?

How has your January been?

Gotta slam the Mango Hurricane at Booster Juice man, get some energy boosters and grab one for your day after you work out. Miss the non-quarantine days tbh :(

Honestly it's probably a tie between the SMJHL Draft and winning the Gold Medal with Canada in the WJC. The excitement leading upto the SMJHL Draft was super fun. In hindsight it was hilarious how you dm-ed me a bunch of sadge emotes and all that after a certain someone decided to not draft me *cough cough* The WJC moment was super stressful for me and for those of you in Canada, most of you knew I was pretty down following the horrendous Round Robin and even leading up to the finals. But waking up to that gold medal game and realizing we won it all was a great feeling since it was the first time I accomplished something in any sim league.

Very funny, very peculiar indeed, kinda weirdchamp that you'd think that way but much to think about.

It's been alright, work's been getting a little busy again but it's been manageable. I'm really excited for the next season in the SHL and hope my player can have a nice breakout season. Otherwise idk, life's been good, nothing to complain about haha.

Do you still hate Halifax

How do you feel about swearing in YouTube chat

Will you make me a sig

Seen any good movies lately

What’s the worst thing you’ve ever eaten

No I only hate you and TDZ, you guys are actually the worst smh. Cancerous LR presences and all.

So, to be clear about one thing, Jeffie hasn't left the SHL community, just abandoned Discord. If you guys want to shit on the floor in your man-caves, that's your choice. Have at it.


I gave my opinion and it was rejected. A majority of you clearly don't want my demographic in here; so be it. After all, many of you probably came here to get away from your parents, so I apologize for intruding. Some of you here came to do your thing without consideration for how uncomfortable it makes anybody else. It's called freedom, you think. But real freedom does not trample the freedoms of others. And, trust me, there are a LOT of uncomfortable people in here who feel bullied, disrespected, ignored and isolated. I guess I fall into that category too.

I've seen a movie, and a good show so I'll just say both. I watched #Alive on Netflix a couple of nights ago, meh zombie movie overall but it was fun to watch tbh. Otherwise I started watching a show called Castlevania a week ago and it's been pretty sick so far.

I usually do a good job of avoiding food I won't like since I'm a pretty picky eater but I'll probably go with this time I had duck in Malaysia. It was absolutely incredible but I got a really bad flu from it and eventually had to get hospitalized for a night. To this day I've still been debating whether it'd been worth it or not but it is what it is.

Hey jeffie!

How are ya?
Well my questions what's been the biggest chsnge of culture since you got traded?
What have been the best moments in your career so far?

Ly man

I've been doing great, how have you been holding up man? It's been a while since we've spoke but I hope you're doing well my favorite Swiss boi <3

I think the biggest chsnge of culture since I've been traded has been like, getting used to playing on a team with no clear identity. In Toronto you have a clear identity with a team nearing the end of their rebuild (at the time, you guys are pretty much done the rebuild now) but with Seattle being an expansion team and all it's been a bit weird with not having a set direction or an identity (Initially). But now with Tig's moves and fantastic drafting, there's a clear direction in terms of developing for the future.

I already answered this question earlier but I will copy and paste what I said just in case you missed it. Honestly it's probably a tie between the SMJHL Draft and winning the Gold Medal with Canada in the WJC. The excitement leading upto the SMJHL Draft was super fun. In hindsight it was hilarious how you dm-ed me a bunch of sadge emotes and all that after a certain someone decided to not draft me *cough cough* @notorioustig. The WJC moment was super stressful for me and for those of you in Canada, most of you knew I was pretty down following the horrendous Round Robin and even leading up to the finals. But waking up to that gold medal game and realizing we won it all was a great feeling since it was the first time I accomplished something in any sim league. Yes Tig, I pinged you twice intentionally 

Love you too man! Miss you guys a lot.

Why are you making an offseason presser when we're not even done with the playoffs yet?

Genuine question. Asking for a friend.

PepeLaugh modCheck

Unlike you some of us didn't make the playoffs so I'm just trying to kill time by doing this I guess :( 

Fuck your genuine question, fuck your friend too smh.

PogO, who asked?

What's your reaction to Axel Meszaros' ascension this season in your absence? 

Fluke, you needed to trade for Charlie just to help save your career smh. Kanoff will have a breakout season next year just you wait 

Jeff, how you doing my man! Just wanted to tell you Merry Christmas, um, I hope you're enjoying your day with your family, man, to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ, man, that's amazing, congrats to you. Also, I just want to encourage you, man, just, uh, keep your spirits high, man, I know this quarantine is putting a lot of us down because of isolation but it will get better man, just continue to practice, uh, good habits in terms of washing your hands, and, and social distancing when you go out in public. And lastly man, congrats on winning, uh, your championship this year man, your dad said the buccaneers did a great job, uh, so happy for you man, but like I said, keep your spirits high, everything will get better soon and again, Merry Christmas.

Real funny and real original buddy f u ugly boi. ATL bad SEA good 

For Jack Kanoff:

As arguably the worst player in the SHL, how much credit do you give the Seattle GMs for winning 22 games despite your presence? How much credit do you give your teammates?

Do your teammates ever give you a hard time after yet another misplaced pass or shot? If yes, how do you shake off the constant abuse and focus on your (let's face it, awful) game?

Do you ever feel ostracised by your teammates as a result of your poor performances?

You're often abused by fans on social media and in the street, finding yourself somewhat of an easy target due to your poor performances. How does this make you feel?

Are there any players or GMs you'd particularly like to thank for standing by you despite your negative impact on the ice?

Do you cry yourself to sleep at night? If no, should you?

For Jeffie43:

Have you tampered anyone in this league or is that just an ISFL thing?

Do you regret asking me to join the league yet?

Same way I deserved GMoTY after winning 9 games and making the playoffs last season in ISFL with your bum ass playing CB for us smh. All memes aside, Darrow has been a great teammate off the ice and on the ice. He's a sick dude and might honestly win the Bojo Biscuit for having a ton of shots blocked and hits.

All the time, especially Darrow, Wozy and Tig. I just close my eyes and pray the pain goes away.

Yes, Tig and Darrow often make jokes at my expense as you can tell from this screenshot


I would love to thank all my GMs in the SMJHL and the SHL so far who've given me ample playing time despite my horrible production :(

Yes, and yes I should sadly :( 



Yes, all the time because at the end of the day the idea of not sharing a team with you hurts 

Hey Jeff. Hope you're doing well.

Why is there an eye on the Seattle boat?

What kind of BBQ is best?

Hey Blitz, hope you and Daisy have been doing alright! I've been vibing so far.

There is an eye on the Seattle boat for historical significance and for realism even if most of the site does not like it.

I don't really have any specific preference, I just like having BBQ in general tbh haha.

Why is Lime the dropshot queen and absolute goat?

Cats or dogs?

Turtles or tortoise?

Waffle or pancakes?

Lime trash at RL he wishes he was as good as me :pogO:

Dogs, I feel like they're easier to manage than cats and I already have one unresponsive pet in Marsh :(

Turtles! I don't know why but I just prefer saying it over tortoise.

Waffles, I feel like they offer a lot more with the whole waffle + chicken combo I want to try out eventually. I do think they're a lot more customizable though which led to my decision

What have you been up to mate?

When will Seattle make the ploffs?

Who is the next player Toronto moves on from?

Good to see you man! Hope you and the wife have been doing well!

I've just been fuckin' around mostly, working and just getting ready to go back to uni for my last year :( 

Not sure tbh, the Western Conference isn't very strong and Seattle could have a strong offseason potentially so we'll have to see!

I think you guys should move on from Axel Meszaros, he's pretty bad to be honest.

Jeff, wie geht es dir, mein Mann? Ich wollte dir nur frohe Weihnachten sagen, ähm, ich hoffe du genießt deinen Tag mit deiner Familie, Mann, um die Geburt Jesu Christi zu feiern, Mann, das ist erstaunlich, Glückwunsch an dich. Außerdem möchte ich dich nur ermutigen, Mann, nur, ähm, halte deine Stimmung hoch, Mann, ich weiß, dass diese Quarantäne viele von uns wegen der Isolation niederschlägt, aber es wird besser, Mann, übe einfach weiter, ähm, gute Gewohnheiten in Bezug auf Händewaschen und soziale Distanzierung, wenn Sie in die Öffentlichkeit gehen. Und zum Schluss Mann, herzlichen Glückwunsch zum Gewinn Ihrer Meisterschaft in diesem Jahr, Mann, Ihr Vater sagte, die Freibeuter haben einen tollen Job gemacht, ähm, so glücklich für Sie, Mann, aber wie gesagt, halten Sie Ihre Stimmung hoch, alles wird bald besser und wieder frohe Weihnachten

No.

What is your favorite flavor of crayon

Orange

if you were forced to replace your hands/feet with the hands/feet of any animal, what would you choose and why?

what are some random fun facts about jack kanoff?

what's something jack kanoff wants to learn, or wishes he was better at?

does jack kanoff have a favorite joke, knock knock or otherwise?

where's jack kanoff (or jeffie's) favorite place on earth?

Depends on my mood but I'm guessing either Orangutan/Some monkey's hands if I'm doing alright or wolf paws if I'm feeling edgy.

Um, he likes cum.. I think

He wishes he was better at hockey, that's for sure. 

He's pretty unoriginal so he has nothing up his sleeve at this time.

Singapore, I miss that place everyday after growing up there :( 

Hey "jeff", what is the next canada recruit you're looking at stealing? I'll take my answer off air, thanks.

Who's your best prospect next season? There's your guy

who would win in a fight: 100 duck-sized horses or 1 horse-sized duck?

Easily 1 horse-sized duck, ducks are tiny while horses are massive. Sounds like a no-brainer to me.

why does hallsy think hes a better support than you?

Hallsy's delusional that's why. His bum ass Yuumi could never come close to my gorgeous Rakan.

I'm just here to say hi

@Tayjay Hey Tayjay! Hope Nashville's been treating you well! Y'all have an exciting group of players over there, really excited to see what you guys can do moving forward <3

Jack

Why don't you shake my hand before a game?

Have you noticed that Jay Sink (mori) doesn't seem to shower and since he stinks so bad no one goes near him on the ice and that contributes to why he gets scored on less than you?

Jeff

Why hasn't norway and germany had a friendly game in order to get ready for the tournament?

@Revolution5 Sorry sir, covid protocol and all that, can't risk it you know?

Jay Stink isn't a very good player and I do think its because of his lack of showers/60, maybe if he improved upon it he'd be a better player but until then yikes.

I'm not sure actually, I imagine we'll be facing each other during the IIHF Tournament so there's that!

So when do we leave for Singapore?

@Kalakar Whenever you want bb <3 in all seriousness I do wanna head back there for a summer after I graduate and all that. Fuckin miss the food and energy there like crazy. Just run away with me

@jeffie43

how r u

ugly

what r ur real thoughts on nour blitzcrank

also gecko jhin

e

I'm good, how are you buddy? Really excited to see how the SHL Offseason pans out after the Great Lake Playoffs end. Hope you're enjoying the Atlanta LR, great group of dudes there except @goldenglutes

No U ugly

It's a work in progress. I'm trying to help teach him positioning and all that but yeah it's only going to come with practice and all that.

You get tilted too easily, I only remember playing with your jhin twice (Usually it was Swain with Esso) in SR and you kinda got tilted and started trolling. But you had a great game on Jhin last night in ARAMs so that was dope.

e

Rank every single SHN member

If you were commissioner for a day, what changed to the league would you make?

Do you expect Seattle to make a playoff push soon?

How has Kanoff’s career been? Are you happy with his development?

Will you ever be on a team that makes the playoffs?

Why do you ignore me?

@fishy

Sure thing, here ya go bud:
Gabe
Fishy
Tig
Nhamlet
Luke
Reid
Blas
Dextaria
Trips
Grok
Rich
Juke
Roastpuff
Sivart
JayWhy
Sve7en
Faelax
TheSparkyDee
AgentSmith
SDCore
Burlok Sulfurgold
mutedfaith
Halkohol
Smatt
Canadice
Boom
Hordle
Arkz
Shuff
Tez

If I was commissioner for a day I'd take a look into the cap and how it affects teams in the long run. I'm someone who's still skeptical when it comes to the cap changes and I think it's going to result in players possibly going unsigned because teams can't afford them. I understand that this may help out upper tier teams but I'd seriously do some research into how to balance changes and all that. If that became too much work for the one day I was there, I'd push for divisions to be changed, it's clear that there's a sense of unbalance in the league in it's current state and I'd try to figure out a way to help balance things out without sacrificing things that people across the league find really important/crucial when it comes to their enjoyment of the league.

I honestly don't know what to think of Seattle in it's current state in all honesty. I do know we're going to be a really strong team in the future thanks to Tig's great drafting and smart moves and stealing Reid from Winnipeg certainly helps a ton too. I could see us making moves for some guys to strengthen the core but I could also see us selling good players for picks considering the core seems to be in the S56+ range as of right now. Seattle's in a pretty flexibile spot right now and it's really intriguing to be honest.

Kanoff has left a lot to be desired on the table for sure. Starting with playing 1st pairing minutes in his rookie season and finishing with 8 points, then underperforming in his next 2 seasons compared to his other draft class teammates it's been a really rough start to his career so far. Obviously I hope things change but I'm cautiously optimistic for now.

Who knows? We'll see what time tells I guess. I really do wish I could make the playoffs eventually as it always makes me jealous seeing everyone get really excited for it while I spend 3 weeks twiddling my thumbs. But if it means sacrificing our success long term I don't really know how I feel about it.

I never ignored u wtf u liar

Jack Kanoff | S53 | Forward | Buffalo Stampede | Germany
From: Toronto, ON, Canada
Height: 5'11
Weight: 183 lb
S53 4-Star Champion
S53 WJC Gold (Canada GM)
S58 IIHF Bronze (Germany Co-Fed Head)
S59 IIHF Bronze (Germany Co-Fed Head)
S60 Challenge Cup Winner

SHL Regular Season
S55 | TOR | 50 GP | 2G | 6A | 8P | -47  | 20 PIM | 74 HIT | 115 SB | 22:01 MPG
S56 | SEA | 50 GP | 3G | 12A | 15P | -13  | 33 PIM | 37 HIT | 64 SB | 17:02 MPG
S57 | SEA | 66 GP | 4G | 21A | 35P | -20  | 50 PIM | 61 HIT | 56 SB | 24:05 MPG
S58 | SEA | 66 GP | 10G | 35A | 45P | -35  | 14 PIM | 64 HIT | 79 SB | 22:20 MPG
S59 | SEA | 66 GP | 19G | 33A | 52P | +19  | 17 PIM | 64 HIT | 43 SB | 23:10 MPG
S60 | SEA/BUF | 65 GP | 17G | 54A | 71P | +42  | 8 PIM | 83 HIT | 45 SB | 21:56 MPG
S61 | BUF | 66 GP | 30G | 33A | 63P | +38  | 18 PIM | 105 HIT | 54 SB | 21:17 MPG
S62 | BUF | 66 GP | 38G | 38A | 76P | +39  | 14 PIM | 115 HIT | 63 SB | 21:32 MPG
S63 | BUF | 66 GP | 23G | 44A | 67P | +8  | 24 PIM | 102 HIT | 13 SB | 21:38 MPG
S64 | BUF | 66 GP | 17G | 36A | 53P | +41  | 24 PIM | 112 HIT | 56 SB | 21:19 MPG

IIHF
S54 | GER | 12 GP | 1G | 3A | 4P | +1  | 2 PIM | 10 HIT | 8 SB | 18:58 MPG
S55 | GER | 12 GP | 3G | 2A | 5P | +3  | 2 PIM | 19 HIT | 12 SB | 20:21 MPG
S56 | GER | 12 GP | 1G | 3A | 4P | -11  | 2 PIM | 19 HIT | 10 SB | 20:56 MPG
S57 | GER | 12 GP | 1G | 1A | 2P | +/- 0  | 0 PIM | 17 HIT | 13 SB | 21:06 MPG
S58 | GER | 12 GP | 6G | 10A | 16P | + 5  | 2 PIM | 7 HIT | 14 SB | 21:11 MPG
S59 | GER | 12 GP | 6G | 11A | 17P | + 6  | 2 PIM | 11 HIT | 18 SB | 20:47 MPG

SMJHL Regular Season
S52 | HFX/DET | 50 GP | 7G | 13A | 20P | +2  | 22 PIM | 48 HIT | 49 SB | 18:48 MPG
S53 | DET | 50 GP | 11G | 23A | 34P | +29  | 14 PIM | 24 HIT | 14 SB | 22:38 MPG
S54 | DET | 50 GP | 9G | 18A | 27P | +2  | 32 PIM | 32 HIT | 25 SB | 23:46 MPG

SMJHL Playoffs
S52 | DET | 10 GP | 4G | 4A | 8P | +5  | 2 PIM | 3 HIT | 8 SB | 20:30 MPG
S53 | DET | 17 GP | 2G | 5A | 7P | +4  | 2 PIM | 14 HIT | 8 SB | 23:12 MPG
S54  | DET | 7 GP | 1G | 1A | 2P | -5  | 0 PIM | 5 HIT | 9 SB | 23:14 MPG

World Junior Championships
S51 | NA | 29 GP | 5G | 12A | 17P | -13 | 20 PIM | 33 HIT | 37 SB | 21:12 MPG
S52 | CAN | 24 GP | 1G | 9A | 10P | -7 | 8 PIM | 23 HIT | 18 SB | 20:18 MPG
S53 | CAN | 15 GP | 1G | 5A | 6P | +3 | 2 PIM | 7 HIT | 6 SB | 21:27 MPG
S54 | CAN | 13 GP | 1G | 1A | 2P | -9 | 2 PIM | 15 HIT | 8 SB | 20:15 MPG


Edward Elric | S66 | 855 TPE | Forward | Edmonton Blizzard | Canada

SMJHL Regular Season
S65 | ANC | 13-42-3 | 3.98 GAA | 0.907 SV%
S66 | ANC | 35G | 34A | 69P | -11 | 31 PIM | 139 HIT | 12 SB
S67 | ANC | 28G | 35A | 63P | +2 | 32 PIM | 121 HIT | 14 SB
S68 | QCC | 25G | 26A | 51P | -7 | 46 PIM | 168 HIT | 21 SB

SMJHL Playoffs


Nour is pretty hot ngl

hi jeffie I hope youve been enjoying your time on the SHL For the past year

PROFILE || UPDATE || RAGE.  




Luke Thomason || LW || Manhattan Rage || 2143 Max TPE
Born: 1/10/98
Height: 6'0
Weight 185 Lbs
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Regular season
SMJHL/SHL Stats
S42 | Van | GP: 50| G: 4| A: 8|P: 12|+/-: -10|MP: 457|
S43 | Van | GP: 50| G: 16| A: 19|P: 35|+/-: 3|MP: 951|
S44 | Van | GP: 50| G: 22| A: 31|P: 53|+/-: 9|MP: 1033|
S45 | SFP | GP: 50| G: 18| A: 19|P: 37|+/-: -5|MP: 1041|
S46 | MAN | GP: 50| G: 19| A: 24|P: 43|+/-: -3|MP: 1156|
S47 | MAN | GP: 50| G: 16| A: 28|P: 44|+/-: -15|MP: 1184|
S48 | MAN | GP: 50| G: 16| A: 24|P: 40|+/-: -13|MP: 1137|
S49 | MAN | GP: 50| G: 21| A: 28|P: 49| +/-: 13|MP: 1099
S50 | MAN | GP: 50| G: 21| A: 23|P: 44| +/-: 10|MP: 1157
S51 | MAN | GP: 50| G: 17| A: 22|P: 39| +/-: 5|MP: 1232
S52 | MAN | GP: 50| G: 24| A: 29|P: 54| +/-: 17|MP: 1193
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Playoffs
S42 Playoffs | Van| GP: 11 | G: 1| A: 2 |P:3|+/-: +3| MP: 101
S43 Playoffs | Van| GP: 10 | G: 4| A: 1 |P:5|+/-: -3| MP: 206
S44 Playoffs | Van| GP: 14 | G: 7| A:6  |P:13|+/-:-1 | MP:228
S46 Playoffs | MAN| GP: 12 | G: 3 | A:2  |P:5|+/-:-14 | MP:289
S47 Playoffs | MAN| GP: 5 | G: 3 | A:4  |P:7|+/-:2 | MP:119
S49 Playoffs | MAN| GP: 11| G: 6| A: 11|P:16|+/-: 5| MP:248
S50 Playoffs | MAN| GP: 6| G: 5| A: 5|P:10|+/-: 7| MP:137
S51 Playoffs | MAN| GP: 12| G: 7| A: 9|P:16|+/-: 4| MP:293
S52 Playoffs | MAN| GP: 19| G: 9| A: 13|P:22|+/-: 0| MP:438

----------------------------------------------------------------------
Transactions/Awards
S43 Named Assistant Captain for VAN Whalers
Drafted 3rd OA by San Fransisco Pride
S43 4 Star Cup Champion  
S44 Zach Miller Award for Most Dedicated
S44 nominee for the Damien Littleton award for most dedicated
S45 WJC Gold Medalist
S45 SHL Rookie All-Star Team
S46 Named Captain for Czechoslovakia
S45 Winner of the Damien Littleton award for most dedicated
S46 Nominee for Damien Littleton award for most dedicated
S49 Bronze Medal for Czechia
S52 Nominee for Anton Razov Trophy
S52 SHL 3rd Team


Arnost Holub || Vancouver Whalers GM/ Manhattan Rage Co-GM
S44 | W:27 | L:18 | OTL: 5 | P:59 | 3rd in League 
S45 | W:29 | L:17 | OTL: 4 | P:62 | 4th in League 
S46 | W:23 | L:21 | OTL: 6 | P:52 | 8th in League 
S47 | W:30 | L:17 | OTL: 3 | P:63 | 3rd in League 
S48 | W:28 | L:16 | OTL: 6 | P:62 | 4th in League 
Total | W:137 | L: 89 | OTL: 24 

Manhattan Rage  
S49 | W:33 | L:15 | OTL: 2 | P:68 | 3rd in League  
S50 | W:26 | L:20 | OTL: 4 | P:56 | 8th in League  
S51 | W:26 | L:18 | OTL: 6 | P:56 | 5th in League 
S52 | W:28 | L:21 | OTL: 1 | P:57 | 6th in League 
Totals | W:113 | L:74 | OTL: 13 
S49 Lance Uppercut Award
S51 Lance Uppercut Award Nomination
S52 Lance Uppercut Award Nomination

Playoffs
Vancouver Whalers
S44 | W: 7 | L: 7 | CF Round Exit
S45 | W: 6 | L: 6 | CF Round Exit
S46 | W: 1 | L: 4 | 1st Round Exit
S47 | W: 6 | L: 4 | CF Round Exit
S48 | W: 12 | L: 7 | 4 Star Cup Champions
Total| W: 32 | L: 28 | 4 Star Cup Champions

Manhattan Rage
S49 | W: 6 | L: 5 | CF Round Exit
S50 | W: 2 | L: 4 | Wildcard Exit
S51 | W: 5 | L: 7 | CF Exit
S52 | W: 12 | L: 7 | Challenge Cup Champions
Total | W: 25 | L:23 | 1 Challenge Cup

How recently have you been hearing the chants of Rule Britannia in the Seattle LR, especially with IIHF coming up?

Also how confident do you feel about Germany's chances of getting a medal?

Sig Credit: Flappy (EVO) and Skolpaddor (RESO)

EMEKA VALENTINE-OKOLI/PLAYER

First SMJHL Goal: Colorado Raptors, Emeka Valentine-Okoli 1 (Mikelis Ozoliņš 4, Loki Odinsson 3) at 3:12, 2nd Period (GWG) / SMJHL S47 Game 47 Day 12: Colorado Raptors vs Detroit Falcons
First SHL Goal: Texas Renegades, Emeka Valentine-Okoli 1 (Josef Kubinec 5, Ricky Spanish 4) at 16:23, 2nd Period / SHL S51 Game 71 Day 16: Edmonton Blizzard vs Texas Renegades

Eternal , onwards we roll

And Let's Retire at the Pinnacle

why should I even bother asking you questions when you yoink my players?

CURRENT PLAYER

Thomas Sawschuk || C || Nevada Battleborn
Birthplace: Oshawa, Canada
Jersey Number: 9
Height: 6ft 2in || Weight: 190 lbs


         

FORMER PLAYER

"Captain" Jean-Paul Boivin || LW || Edmonton Blizzards
Name: Jean-Paul "The Boi" Boivin
TPE: 1454
Age: 26
Birthplace: Toronto, Canada
Height: 6'3"
Weight: 200 lbs
Number: 67
|| Accomplishments || 
S48 SMJHL Four Star Cup
S49 23rd pick in SHL Draft to Edmonton
S49 SHL Champions Cup
S50 WJC Silver Canada
S51 WJC Gold Canada
S56 IIHF Gold
100 Hits Club: S49, S50, S51

Authorized Bash Brother
|| Captaincy || 
WJC Canada  A. Captain: S49
WJC Canada Captain: S51
Vancouver Whalers  A. Captain: S49

Vancouver Whalers Captain: S50, S51 
Edmonton Blizzard Visiting A. Captain: S53, S54, S55
Edmonton Blizzard Captain: S56 

Jeffie how do u get the beeg yoshi

Vaseline Podcalzone | LW | SEA "C" |

S55 SMJHL Draft: Round 3, 31st overall (NL)

S56 SHL Draft: Round 2, 23rd overall (SEA)

***

SMJHL Regular Season Stats

S55 | NL | 50GP | 2G | 6A | 8P | 6PIM | 33 Hits

S56 | NL | 50GP | 11G | 17A | 28P | 8PIM | 109 Hits

S57 | NL "A"| 66GP | 16G | 29A | 45P | 32PIM | 153 Hits

S58 | NL "C"| 66GP | 21G | 20A | 41P | 8PIM | 119 Hits

TOTAL | 232GP | 50G | 72A | 122 P | 54PIM | 414 Hits

***

SMJHL Playoffs Stats

S55 | NL | 17GP | 0G | 4A | 4P | 12PIM | 20 Hits

S56 | NL | 17GP | 3G | 1A | 4P | 2PIM | 32 Hits

S57 | NL "A"| 11GP | 1G | 8A | 9P | 0PIM | 40 Hits

S58 | NL "C" | 15GP | 5G | 10A | 15P | 10PIM | 33 Hits

TOTAL | 60GP | 9G | 23A | 32P | 24PIM | 125 Hits

***

SHL Regular Season Stats

S59 | SEA | 66GP | 17G | 19A | 36P | 18PIM | 107 Hits 

S60 | SEA "A"| 66GP | 14G | 16A | 30P | 30PIM | 117 Hits

S61 | SEA "A"| 66GP | 22G | 20A | 42P | 23PIM | 117 Hits

S62 | SEA "A"| 66GP | 17G | 25A | 42P | 6PIM | 141 Hits

S63 | SEA "A"| 66GP | 27G | 20A | 47P | 22PIM | 143 Hits

S64 | SEA "C"| 66GP | 19G | 52A | 71P | 10PIM | 157 Hits

S65 | SEA "C"| 66GP | 40G | 44A | 84P | 27PIM | 147 Hits 

S66 | SEA "C"| 66GP | 21G | 36A | 57P | 38PIM | 146 Hits 

S67 | SEA "C"| 66GP | 29G | 50A | 79P | 38PIM | 133 Hits 

S68 | SEA "C"| 66GP | 30G | 56A | 86P | 36PIM | 152 Hits 

S69 | SEA "C"| 66GP | 29G | 50A | 79P | 42PIM | 151 Hits 

S70 | SEA "C"| 66GP | 15G | 59A | 74P | 36PIM | 162 Hits 

S71 | SEA “C”| 66GP | 25G | 36A | 61P | 62PIM | 150 Hits 

S72 | SEA "C"| 66GP | 15G | 34A | 49P | 39PIM | 87 Hits 

S73 | SEA "C"| 66GP | 24G | 28A | 52P | 28PIM | 97 Hits

S74 | SEA "C"| 66GP | 19G | 20A | 39P | 54PIM | 121 Hits 

S75 | SEA "C"| 66GP | 21G | 22A | 43P | 52 PIM | 107 Hits 

S76 | SEA "C"|

TOTAL | 1122GP | 384G | 587A | 971P | 561PIM | 2235 Hits

***

SHL Playoff Stats

S59 | SEA | 10GP | 1G | 2A | 3P | 0PIM | 11 Hits

S60 | SEA "A"| 7GP | 0G | 5A | 5P | 0PIM | 14 Hits

S61 | SEA "A"| 5GP | 1G | 1A | 2P | 0PIM | 9 Hits

S62 | SEA "A"| 12GP | 3G | 3A | 6P | 0PIM | 32 Hits

S63 | SEA "A"| 12GP | 6G | 6A | 12P | 0PIM | 24 Hits

S64 | SEA "C"| 7GP | 2G | 1A | 3P | 2PIM | 15 Hits

S65 | SEA "C"| 6GP | 1G | 2A | 3P | 2PIM | 13 Hits

S66 | SEA "C"| 22GP | 5G | 19A | 24P | 10PIM | 56 Hits

S67 | SEA "C"| 23GP | 10G | 18A | 28P | 4PIM | 45 Hits

S68 | SEA "C"| 21GP | 12G | 15A | 27P | 10PIM | 52 Hits

S69 | SEA "C"| 16GP | 6G | 16A | 22P | 10PIM | 47 Hits

S70 | SEA "C"| 13GP | 5G | 11A | 16P | 6PIM | 28 Hits

S71 | SEA "C"| 7GP | 1G | 3A | 4P | 2 PIM | 15 Hits
S72 | SEA "C"| 5GP | 2G | 4A | 6P | 6 PIM | 3 Hits

TOTAL | 166GP | 57G | 104A | 161P | 52PIM | 364 Hits 

***

S55 Four Star Cup

S58 Volsungr Award

S58 Vaseline Podcalzone Award

S58 Berserker of the Year

SHL S59 All-Rookie

S59 Jesster Finalist

S64 Richan Finalist

SEA Franchise Points Leader

S67 Challenge Cup

5x SHL All-Star (S60, S64, S65, S67, S75)

S68 Challenge Cup

S68 Dar Finalist

Beeg Yoshi | Management | REG GM |

NL Scout S58

NL Coach S59-S61

S60 Four Star Cup (Coach)

NL Co-GM S62-S64

S62 Four Star Cup (Co-GM)

S63 Four Star Cup (Co-GM)

S63 Nour Harrak Award (GM Duo)

S64 Nour Harrak Award (GM Duo)

S64 Four Star Cup (Co-GM)

REG Co-GM S72-S75

REG Interim Head GM S75

REG Head GM S75-

hello gabe johnson alt

how's seattle been, and can you see them making any offseason moves outside of the draft?
what's it like being the most hated fed head?
what made you decide to play for germany, and how have you enjoyed playing for the most inferior german speaking iihf nation?
did gabe force you to do this presser?

Sebastien Regazzoni || C || Hamilton Steelhawks || 1276 TPE
Birthplace: Bern, Switzerland
Height/Weight: 6'3", 200 lbs
SHL Stats
S71 || HAM || GP: 66 G: 17 A: 25 PTS: 42 +/-: -23 PIM: 32 H: 75
S72 || HAM || GP: 66 G: 28 A: 31 PTS: 59 PIMS: 55 +/-: 7 H: 89
S73 || HAM || GP: 66 G: 24 A: 33 PTS: 57 PIMS: 34 +/-: -2 H: 81
S74 || HAM || GP: 66 G: 12 A: 37 PTS: 49 PIMS: 43 +/-: -8 H: 83
S75 || HAM || GP: 66 G: 11 A: 51 PTS: 62 PIMS: 39 +/-: 22 H: 66
SHL Playoff Stats
S71 || HAM || GP: 5 G: 2 A: 1 PTS: 3 +/-: -5 PIM: 2 H: 5
S72 || HAM || GP: 5 G: 1 A: 0 PTS: 0 +/-: -5 PIM: 0 H: 7
SMJHL Stats
S67 || ANC || GP: 66 G: 25 A: 21 PTS: 46 +/-: -5 PIM: 6 H: 107
S68 || ANC || GP: 66 G: 20 A: 41 PTS: 61 +/-: 5 PIM: 30 H: 138
S69 || ANC || GP: 66 G: 20 A: 33 PTS: 53 +/-: -3 PIM: 18 H: 142
S70 || ANC || GP: 66 G: 12 A: 23 PTS: 35 +/-: -54 PIM: 28 H: 78
Career SMJHL Regular Season Stats
GP: 264 G: 77 A: 118 PTS: 195 +/-: -57 PIM: 82 H: 465
SMJHL Playoff Stats
S67 || ANC || GP: 5 G: 4 A: 1 PTS: 5 +/-: -2 PIM: 0 H: 11
S68 || ANC || GP: 10 G: 4 A: 3 PTS: 7 +/-: 7 PIM: 4 H: 24
Career Milestones
Drafted 20th overall by Anchorage, S67 SMJHL Draft
Drafted 4th overall by Hamilton, S68 SHL Draft
Voted Anchorage Armada captain, S69



Mitchell van der Heijden || C || Philadelphia Forge || 925 TPE
Birthplace: Alkmaar, Netherlands
Height/Weight: 6'2", 205 lbs
SHL Stats
S54 | NOLA | GP: 50 G: 8 A: 10 PTS: 18 PIMS: 16 +/-: 0 H: 24
S55 | NEW | GP: 50 G: 15 A: 19 PTS: 34 PIMS: 14 +/-: 2 H: 70
S56 | NEW | GP: 50 G: 16 A: 11 PTS: 27 PIMS: 26 +/-: -17 H: 65
S57 | NEW | GP: 66 G: 20 A: 28 PTS: 48 PIMS: 10 +/-: -37 H: 62
S58 | HAM | GP: 66 G: 22 A: 38 PTS: 60 PIMS: 22 +/-: 25 H: 92
S59 | HAM | GP: 66 G: 21 A: 37 PTS: 58 PIMS: 29 +/-: 37 H: 101
S60 | HAM | GP: 66 G: 49 A: 50 P: 99 PIMS: 6 +/-: 14 H: 97
S61 | HAM | GP: 66 G: 30 A: 57 PTS: 87 PIMS: 10 +/-: 49 H: 122
S62 | HAM | GP: 66 G: 48 A: 38 PTS: 86 PIMS: 8 +/-: 32 H: 105
S63 | HAM | GP: 66 G: 30 A: 51 PTS: 81 PIMS: 18 +/-: 47 H: 103
S64 | HAM | GP: 66 G: 30 A: 43 PTS: 73 PIMS: 8 +/-: 9 H: 103
S65 | PHI | GP: 66 G: 13 A: 37 PTS: 50 PIMS: 20 +/-: 25 H: 134
S66 | PHI | GP: 66 G: 15 A: 24 PTS: 39 PIMS: 30 +/-: -19 H: 116
S67 | PHI | GP: 66 G: 8 A: 27 PTS: 35 PIMS: 20 +/-: 4 H: 140
Career Regular Season Stats
GP: 876 G: 325 A: 470 PTS: 795 PIMS: 237 +/-: 172 H: 1338
SHL Playoff Stats
S54 | NOLA | GP: 17 G: 7 A: 5 PTS: 12 PIMS: 4 +/-: 1
S56 | NEW | GP: 6 G: 0 A: 3 PTS: 3 PIMS: 4 +/-: -4
S57 | NEW | GP: 5 G: 1 A: 0 PTS: 1 PIMS: 2 +/-: 0
S58 | HAM | GP: 19 G: 3 A: 7 PTS: 10 PIMS: 2 +/-: 2
S59 | HAM | GP: 11 G: 2 A: 5 PTS: 7 PIMS: 0 +/-: 4
S60 | HAM | GP: 10 G: 2 A: 3 PTS: 5
S61 | HAM | GP: 19 G: 9 A: 16 PTS: 25
S62 | HAM | GP: 14 G: 7 A: 12 PTS: 19
S63 | HAM | GP: 25 G: 10 A: 12 PTS: 22
S64 | HAM | GP: 17 G: 7 A: 17 PTS: 24
S65 | PHI | GP: 7 G: 4 A: 5 PTS: 9
S66 | PHI | G: 7 G: 1 A: 2 PTS: 3
S67 | PHI | GP: 7 G: 0 A: 4 PTS: 4
Total SHL Playoff Stats
GP: 172 G: 55 A: 93 PTS: 148
SMJHL Stats
S50 | ANC | GP: 50 G: 14 A: 14 PTS: 28 PIMS: 6 +/-: -1 H: 21
S51 | ANC | GP: 50 G: 20 A: 27 PTS: 47 PIMS: 17 -/+: 11 H: 15
S52 | ANC | GP: 50 G: 25 A: 28 PTS: 53 PIMS: 29 +/-: 7 H: 62
S53 | ANC | GP: 50 G: 26 A: 26 PTS: 52 PIMS: 24 +/-: 12 H: 109
Total SMJHL Reg. Season Stats
GP: 200 G: 85 A: 95 PTS: 180 PIMS: 79 +/-: 29 H: 207
SMJHL Playoff Stats
S50 | ANC | GP: 11 G: 1 A: 4 PTS: 5 PIMS: 0 +/-: -6
S51 | ANC | GP: 12 G: 5 A: 7 PTS: 12 PIMS: 2 +/-: 7
S52 | ANC | GP: 6 G: 2 A: 2 PTS: 4 PIMS: 0 +/-: 1
S53 | ANC | GP: 7 G: 0 A: 3 PTS: 3 PIMS: 0 +/-: -1
Total SMJHL Playoff Stats
GP: 41 G: 8 A: 16 PTS: 24 PIMS: 2 +/-: 1
Accolades
Won S51 4 Star Cup with Anchorage
Won Silver Medal with Switzerland, S51 IIHF
named best forward, S51 WJC
named to second team all SMJHL, S52
named Anchorage alternate captain, S51/S52
named Anchorage captain, S53
named first team all SMJHL, S53
won Ideen Fallah Award (SMJHL Awards Committee MVP), S53
named SMJHL All-Star, S51-S53
won S54 Challenge Cup with New Orleans
scored Challenge Cup-winning goal, S54
named New England alternate captain, S55
#15 retired by the Anchorage Armada
Challenge Cup winner with Hamilton, S58/S61/S63
SHL All-Star, S60-S63
Karpovtsov and McDonald winner, S60
Sarmad Khan winner, S60
Ron Mexico winner, S60
First Team All-SHL, S60
Gold medal winner with Switzerland, S65
Member of the Triple Gold Club
SHL Hall of Famer
Draft Things
drafted 11th by Anchorage in S50 SMJHL Draft
drafted 13th overall by New Orleans in S51 SHL Draft



Joseph Lombardi || RW || Anchorage Armada co-GM || 969 TPE
Name: Joseph Lombardi
Position: Right Wing
Birthplace: Voorhees, NJ, USA (transferred to Ireland)
Height: very short (5'3")
Weight: 145 lbs
SHL Regular Season Stats
S38 | SFP | GP: 50 G: 13 A: 9 PTS: 22 PIMS: 6 +/-: -10
S39 | SFP | GP: 50 G: 12 A: 8 PTS: 20 PIMS: 8 +/-: -10
S40 | SFP | GP: 50 G: 14 A: 15 PTS: 29 PIMS: 7 +/-: 9
S41 | MIN | GP: 50 G: 7 A: 6 PTS: 13 PIMS: 0 +/-: -3
S42 | MIN/SEA | GP: 47 G: 14 A: 20 PTS: 34 PIMS: 6 +/-: 4
S43 | SEA | GP: 50 G: 20 A: 26 PTS: 46 PIMS: 8 +/-: 5
S44 | SEA | GP: 50 G: 18 A: 17 PTS: 35 PIMS: 18 +/-: -16
S45 | SEA/TOR | GP: 50 G: 20 A: 20 PTS: 40 PIMS: 0 +/-: 1
S46 | TOR | GP: 50 G: 25 A: 23 PTS: 48 PIMS: 0 +/-: 0
S47 | EDM | GP: 50 G: 17 A: 23 PTS: 40 PIMS: 10 +/-: 26
S48 | SFP | GP: 50 G: 21 A: 17 PTS: 38 PIMS: 10 +/-: 5
S49 | SFP | GP: 50 G: 6 A: 20 PTS: 26 +/-: -8 PIMS: 13
S50 | SFP | GP: 50 G: 15 A: 11 PTS: 26 PIMS: 10 +/-: 15
Career Stats
GP: 647 G: 202 A: 215 PTS: 417 PIMS: 96 +/-: 14
SHL Playoff Stats
S38 | SFP | GP: 5 G: 1 A: 1 PTS: 2 PIMS: 6 +/-: -3
S39-S40 | SFP | Missed playoffs
S41 | MIN | GP: 6 G: 1 A: 2 PTS: 3 PIMS: 0 +/-: 0
S42 | SEA | missed playoffs
S43 | SEA | GP: 6 G: 0 A: 6 PTS: 6 PIMS: 0 +/-: 1
S44 | SEA | missed playoffs
S45 | TOR | GP: 5 G: 2 A: 2 PTS: 4 PIMS: 0 +/-: 1
S46 | TOR | GP: 7 G: 2 A: 7 PTS: 9 PIMS: 0 +/-: -1
S47 | EDM | GP: 6 G: 1 A: 1 PTS: 2 PIMS: 0 +/-: -3
S48 | SFP | GP: 6 G: 0 A: 0 PTS: 0 PIMS: 0 +/-: -4
S49 | SFP | missed playoffs
S50 | SFP | GP: 4 G: 0 A: 0 PTS: 0 PIMS: 0 +/-: 0
Career Playoff Stats 
all you need to know is that I was shit
SMJHL Regular Season Stats
S35 | STL |  GP: 50 G: 1 A: 0 PTS: 1 PIMS: 2 +/-: -1
S36 | STL | GP: 50 G: 10 A: 7 PTS: 17 PIMS: 4 +/-: 0
S37 | STL | GP: 44 G: 16 A: 15 PTS: 31 PIMS: 8 +/-: -4
Total Stats: GP: 144 G: 27 A: 22 PTS: 49 PIMS: 14 +/-: -5
SMJHL Playoff Stats
S35 | STL | GP: 7 G: 1 A: 0 PTS: 1 +/-: 1
S36 | STL | GP: 6 G: 2 A: 2 PTS: 4 +/-: -1
S37 | STL | GP: 13 G: 4 A: 10 PTS: 14 +/-: -3
Total Stats: GP: 26 G: 7 A: 12 PTS: 19 +/-: -3
Things I've Done
Selected 40th overall in S35 SMJHL Draft by STL
Selected 30th overall in S36 SHL Entry Draft by POR
Won some team awards with the Crows, but no cup
won Presidents Trophy with San Francisco in S38
won a silver medal with Ireland (S38)
won two bronze medals with Ireland (S39, S41)
won a shit ton of golds with Ireland (S42-47)
was traded by San Francisco to Minnesota before S41
Traded to Seattle by Minnesota before S42 Trade Deadline
traded to Toronto by Seattle before S45 trade deadline
signed a one year, $6 million contract with Edmonton
signed a one year, $4.5 million contract with San Fransisco
named Pride alternate captain for S48
won president's trophy with SFP (s50)
writes haters guides where I shit on every team

ty to @High Stick King @EvilAllBran and @Ragnar for the sigs

how fat and full are your balls?

Why u so stinky?


Whats your favorite drink?


Why Jack Kanoff?

Pogu?

What is your favourite kind of smoothie?

Favourite moment through your SHL career so far?

Isn't it funny how Jack Kanoff sounds like Jacking Off?

How has your January been?

Gabe-Gooney-Waters Harrak | RW | 231 TPE | Colorado Raptors
Name: Gabe-Gooney-Waters Harrak
Country: Canada
Age: 17
Height: 5'11"
Weight: 170 lbs
Number: 16
------------------------------------------------------------
Transactions:
S60 - Drafted 7th overall to the Colorado Raptors


Skao Anazibf | Retired | S48-S60
Name: Skao Anazibf
Country: Russia
Retired Age: 29
Height: 5'11"
Weight: 190 lbs
Number: 12
------------------------------------------------------------
SHL Regular Season Stats
HAM GP: 498 | G: 103 | A: 229 | P: 332 | +/-: 224
------------------------------------------------------------
SHL Playoff Stats
HAM GP: 135 | G: 20 | A: 43 | P: 63 | +/-: 9
------------------------------------------------------------
SMJHL Regular Season Stats
DET GP: 150 | G: 54 | A: 56 | P: 110 | +/-: 35
------------------------------------------------------------
SMJHL Playoff Stats
DET GP: 28 | G: 7 | A: 13 | P: 20 | +/-: 1
------------------------------------------------------------
IIHF Round Robin Stats
RUS GP: 144 | G: 19 | A: 40 | P: 59 | +/-: -17
------------------------------------------------------------
IIHF Medal Round Stats
RUS GP: 3 | G: 1 | A: 3 | P: 4 | +/-: 0
------------------------------------------------------------
Transactions:
S48 - Drafted 17th overall to the Detroit Falcons
S48 - Signed $3mil contract with the Detroit Falcons
S49 - Drafted 10th overall to the Hamilton Steelhawks
S49 - Signed $2mil contract with the Hamilton Steelhawks
S50 - Signed $2.5mil contract extension with the Hamilton Steelhawks
S51 - Signed $7mil contract extension with the Hamilton Steelhawks
S51 - Called up to the Hamilton Steelhawks
S52 - Signed $7mil contract extension with the Hamilton Steelhawks
S53 - Signed $4.9mil contract extension with the Hamilton Steelhawks
S54 - Signed $3mil contract extension with the Hamilton Steelhawks (S54-S55)
S56 - Signed $4mil contract extension with the Hamilton Steelhawks (S56-S58)
S59 - Signed $4mil contract extension with the Hamilton Steelhawks (S59)
S60 - Signed $7mil contract extension with the Hamilton Steelhawks (S60)
------------------------------------------------------------
Awards:
S51 - Challenge Cup Champion with the Hamilton Steelhawks (SHL)
S53 - Challenge Cup Champion with the Hamilton Steelhawks (SHL)
S55 - Damian Littleton Award for Most Dedicated Nominee (SHL)
S56 - Challenge Cup Champion with the Hamilton Steelhawks (SHL)
S58 - Challenge Cup Champion with the Hamilton Steelhawks (SHL)


Nour Harrak | Retired | S35 - S48
Name: Nour Harrak
Country: Canada
Retired Age: 30
Height: 6'0"
Weight: 180 lbs
Number: 48
------------------------------------------------------------
SHL Regular Season Stats
HAM GP: 550 | G: 97 | A: 195 | P: 292 | +/-: -5
------------------------------------------------------------
SHL Playoff Stats
HAM GP: 70 | G: 19 | A: 39 | P: 58 | +/-: 1
------------------------------------------------------------
IIHF Round Robin Stats
CAN GP: 72 | G: 10 | A: 21 | P: 31 | +/-: -9
------------------------------------------------------------
IIHF Medal Round Stats
CAN GP: 6 | G: 4 | A: 2 | P: 6 | +/-: 0
------------------------------------------------------------
SMJHL Regular Season Stats
KEL/STL GP: 150 | G: 34 | A: 44 | P: 78 | +/-: 2
------------------------------------------------------------
SMJHL Playoff Stats
KEL/STL GP: 21 | G: 7 | A: 9 | P: 16 | +/-: 9
------------------------------------------------------------
Transactions:
S35 - Drafted 14th overall to the Kelowna Knights
S35 - Signed $2mil contract with the Kelowna Knights
S36 - Drafted 2nd overall to the Hamilton Steelhawks
S36 - Signed $3mil contract with the Hamilton Steelhawks (S36-S38)
S37 - Traded to the St. Louis Scarecrows
S38 - Signed $3mil extension with the Hamilton Steelhawks (S39-S41)
S38 - Called up to the Hamilton Steelhawks
S41 - Signed $4mil extension with the Hamilton Steelhawks (S42)
S42 - Signed $4.5mil extension with the Hamilton Steelhawks (S43-S47)
S47 - Signed $4,000,001.84 extension with the Hamilton Steelhawks (S48)
S48 - Announced retirement (S35-S48)
------------------------------------------------------------
Awards:
S35 - Ron Bolt Award for Sportsmanship Winner (SMJHL)
S35 - Zach Miller Award for Dedication Winner (SMJHL)
S35 - John McBride Playoff MVP Award Winner (Kelowna)
S36 - Mikka Granlund Award for Leadership Winner (Kelowna)
S37 - Ron Bolt Award for Sportsmanship Winner (SMJHL)
S42 - Silver Medal with Team Canada (IIHF)


Joey Wheeler | GM | Retired
SMJHL Regular Season Stats
S37 - KEL GP: 50 | W: 17 | L: 25 | OTL: 8 | P: 42 (Finished 7th)
S38 - KEL GP: 50 | W: 27 | L: 16 | OTL: 7 | P: 61 (Finished 3rd)
S39 - KEL GP: 50 | W: 24 | L: 21 | OTL: 5 | P: 53 (Finished 6th)
S40 - KEL GP: 50 | W: 34 | L: 16 | OTL: 0 | P: 68 (Finished 1st)
S41 - KEL GP: 50 | W: 25 | L: 16 | OTL: 9 | P: 59 (Finished 4th)
S42 - KEL GP: 50 | W: 35 | L: 13 | OTL: 2 | P: 72 (Finished 2nd)
S43 - KEL GP: 50 | W: 26 | L: 21 | OTL: 3 | P: 55 (Finished 4th)
//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
S47 - DET GP: 50 | W: 22 | L: 24 | OTL: 4 | P: 48 (Finished 8th)
S48 - DET GP: 50 | W: 29 | L: 17 | OTL: 4 | P: 62 (Finished 3rd)
S48 - DET GP: 50 | W: 31 | L: 13 | OTL: 6 | P: 68 (Finished 1st)
------------------------------------------------------------
SMJHL Playoff History
Kelowna Knights
S37 - Missed Playoffs
S38 - Eliminated in the Quarterfinals by Montreal (2-4)
S39 - Eliminated in the Quarterfinals by Vancouver (0-4)
S40 - Four Star Cup Win against Detroit (4-0)
S41 - Four Star Cup Win against Montreal (4-3)
S42 - Four Star Cup Win against Vancouver (4-2)
S43 - Eliminated in the Quarterfinals by Detroit (2-4)
Detroit Falcons
S47 - Eliminated in the Quarterfinals by St. Louis (2-4)
S48 - Eliminated in the Quarterfinals by Anchorage (3-4)
------------------------------------------------------------
IIHF History
Team Canada
S39 - Gold Medal Win against Finland (6-5)
S40 - Eliminated in the Quarterfinals by Germany (2-3 L)
S41 - Eliminated in the Quarterfinals by United Kingdom (5-6 L)
S42 - Silver Medal against Ireland (2-3)
S43 - Eliminated in the Quarterfinals by Russia (1-2)
------------------------------------------------------------
Achievements:
S36 - Hired as Kelowna Knights co-GM (09/18/2017)
S38 - Hired as Kelowna Knights Head GM (01/12/2018)
S39 - Hired as Team Canada co-GM (02/27/2018)
S39 - IIHF Gold Medal as Team Canada GM (03/21/2018)
S40 - Hired as Team Canada Head GM (04/24/2018)
S40 - Laurifer Trophy Winner (04/19/2018)
S40 - Occasus Trophy Winner (04/28/2018)
S40 - SMJHL Four Star Cup Championship (05/02/2018)
S40 - Mathias Chouinard Winner (05/14/2018)
S41 - Occasus Trophy Winner (06/16/2018)
S41 - SMJHL Four Star Cup Championship (06/20/2018)
S41 - Mathias Chouinard Nominee (07/07/2018)
S42 - SMJHL Four Star Cup Championship (08/22/2018)
S42 - IIHF Silver Medal as Team Canada GM (09/02/2018)
S42 - Mathias Chouinard Nominee (09/07/2018)
S43 - Mathias Chouinard Nominee (10/29/2018)
S47 - Hired as Detroit Falcons co-GM (04/27/2019)
S47 - Hired as Team Canada Interim co-GM (05/29/2019)

**First GM in SMJHL history to win 3 Four Star Cups back-to-back-to-back**

Do you still hate Halifax

How do you feel about swearing in YouTube chat

Will you make me a sig

Seen any good movies lately

What’s the worst thing you’ve ever eaten

Hey jeffie!

How are ya?
Well my questions what's been the biggest chsnge of culture since you got traded?
What have been the best moments in your career so far?

Ly man

 

Thank you @Carpy48, @honkerrs

Why are you making an offseason presser when we're not even done with the playoffs yet?

Genuine question. Asking for a friend.

PepeLaugh modCheck

Billy Herrington || USA || Detroit Falcons (S68 - Present)
Nickname: Aniki
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Accolades
1x - Four Star Cup (S68 - DET)
S68 - Esa Anrikkanen Trophy [Rookie of the Year] (42 G - 30 A - 72 Pts)
1x - Brodie Witzel Trophy [Playoff MVP] (S68 - DET)
1x - Ronan O'Keefe Trophy [Most Playoff Pts] (S68 - DET [25 Pts])
1x - SMJHL All-Star (S68 - DET)
1x - Linna-Landvik Trophy [Western Conference Champs] (S68 - DET)
1x - Laurifer Trophy [Top Regular Season Team] (S68 - DET)
S68 - Drafted 7th Overall by the Atlanta Inferno
S68 - 4th in SMJHL Regular Season Goals (42)
S68 - Drafted 32nd Overall by the Detroit Falcons (SMJHL)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Augustus Wang || Canada || Anchorage Armada (S49 - S52) || Buffalo Stampede (S52 - S64)
Nickname: Big Wanger #WANG20
Peak TPE: 2127
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Accolades
Inducted into the Hall of Fame before retiring
S55 - Member of the Quadruple Gold Club (2nd Fastest)
2x - Challenge Cup (S55 & S60 - BUF)
1x - Scott Stevens Trophy (S59 - BUF)
2x - 1st Team All-Star (S57 & S59 - BUF)
1x - 2nd Team All-Star (S58 - BUF)
4x - IIHF Gold Medal (S54, S56, S57 & S58 - Canada)
1x - Four Star Cup (S51 - ANC)
1x - WJC Gold Medal (S51 - Canada)
3x - President's Trophy (S54, S55 & S60 - BUF)
5x - Mathias Chouinard Trophy (S55, S56, S58, S59 & S60 - BUF)
S59 - Anton Razov Nominee
S59 - Led all Skaters in Playoff points (19 GP // 7 G - 18 A - 25 P)
S59 - Led all Defensemen in Regular Season points (19 G - 49 A - 68 P)
S57 - Led all Defensemen in Regular Season points (16 G - 45 A - 61 P)
S57 - Aidan Richan Nominee
S57 & S61 - Scott Stevens Nominee
S56 - 1st Career Hat Trick (BUF 12 - 0 TBB)
S56 - 4 Goals in 1 game (4 G & 2 A // BUF 12 - 0 TBB)
1x - IIHF Bronze Medalist (S55 - Canada)
2x - WJC Silver Medal (S50 & S52 - Canada)
1x - WJC Top Defenseman (S51 - Canada)
2x - 1st Team All-SMJHL (S51 & S52)
2x - SMJHL All-Star (S51 & S52)
S55 - Inducted into the Anchorage Armada Hall of Fame
S52 - Most Regular Season Points by a Defenseman in Anchorage Armada History (SMJHL)
S52 - Named Captain of the Anchorage Armada (SMJHL)
S52 & S53 - Quilha Agante Nominee (SMJHL)
S51 - Named Assistant Captain of the Anchorage Armada (SMJHL)
S50 - Named Assistant Captain of Team Canada (WJC)
S50 - Drafted 6th Overall by the Buffalo Stampede (SHL)
S49 - Drafted 14th Overall by the Anchorage Armada (SMJHL)
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What's your reaction to Axel Meszaros' ascension this season in your absence?

Credit to Copenhagen, Wasty, FlappyGiraffe, InciteHysteria, and caltroit_red_flames
  



Mikhail Lokitonov | RW | TOR/LAP/AUT | TPE: Retired Peak: 2018
Name: Mikhail Lokitonov
Age: 26
Height: 5'9"
Weight: 170
Number: 10
------------------------------------------------------------
Transactions
S38 Picked 15th overall by the Prince George Firebirds
S38 Signed $3.0m contract with PGF
S39 Picked 6th overall by the Toronto North Stars
S39 Signed 3-year $7m contract with TOR
S40 Traded to KEL (Only for Nour's sake)
S41 Signed 3-year $9m contract extension with TOR
S44 Signed 3-year $9m contract extension with TOR
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SMJHL Career Stats:
S38 PGF | 50 GP | 10 G | 16 A | 26 P | 7 PPP | 12.50 SHT% | +4
S39 PGF | 50 GP | 22 G | 35  A | 57 P | 14 PPP | 11.89 SHT% | +36
S40 KEL | 50 GP |  15 G | 21 A | 35 P | 11 PPP | 11.11 SHT% | +4
Total | 150 GP | 47 G | 72 A | 119 P | +44
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SMJHL Career Playoff Stats:
S38 PGF | 14 GP | 0 G | 1 A | 1 P | -2
S39 PGF | 12 GP | 2 G | 4 A | 6 P | -1
S40 KEL | 10 GP | 6 G |  7 A | 13 P | +2
Total | 36 GP | 8 G |  12 A | 20 P | -1
------------------------------------------------------------
SHL Regular Season Stats
S41 TOR | 50 GP |  12 G | 11 A | 23 P | 4 PPP | 13.04%  SHT% | -9
S42 TOR | 50 GP |  22 G | 21 A | 43 P | 11 PPP | 12.22%  SHT% | -1
S43 TOR | 50 GP |  12 G | 22 A | 34 P | 6 PPP | 5.83%  SHT% | 2
S44 TOR | 50 GP |  16 G | 23 A | 39 P | 6 PPP | 8.04%  SHT% | 10
S45 TOR | 50 GP |  20 G | 26 A | 46 P | 14 PPP | 9.48%  SHT% | -5
S46 TOR | 50 GP |  14 G | 30 A | 46 P | 14 PPP | 7.37%  SHT% | 0
S47 TOR | 50 GP |  21 G | 40 A | 61 P | 10 PPP | 10.14%  SHT% | 1
S48 TOR | 50 GP |  21 G | 33 A | 54 P | 10 PPP | 11.93%  SHT% | 19
Total | 400GP | 138 G | 206 A | 344 P | 1473 SHT | 9.37% SHT% | 17
--------------------------------------------------------------
SHL Playoff Stats
S44 TOR | 7 GP |  1 G | 3 A | 4 P | 0 PPP | 4.00%  SHT% | 1
S45 TOR | 5 GP |  0 G | 2 A | 2 P | 0 PPP | 0.00%  SHT% | 1
Total | 12 GP | 1 G | 5 A | 6 P | 31 SHT| 3.23% SHT% | 2
--------------------------------------------------------------
IIHF Career Stats:
S39 | 11 GP | 1 G | 0 A | 1 P | 25.00% | -2
S40 | 13 GP | 1 G | 0 A | 1 P | 25.00% | -1
S41 | 10 GP | 1 G | 5 A | 6 P | 4.35% | 1
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Career Achievements:
S38 Finished 2nd in S38 SMJHL Rookie Scoring (26P)
S38 Finished 1st (Tied) in S38 SMJHL Rookie Goal Scoring (10 G)
S38 FOUR STAR CUP CHAMP
S38 Esa Anrikkanen Award Winner (Rookie of The Year)
S38 Elias Armia Trophy Winner (The "Storm Likes Me Best" Award)
S39 Ron Bolt Trophy Winner (Best Sportsmanship)
S40 Four Star Cup
S42 Aiden Richan Trophy Winner (Breakout Star)
S43 100 Career Points
S43 IIHF Bronze Medal
S45 IIHF Bronze Medal
S46 200 Career Points
S47 100 Career Goals
S47 IIHF Bronze Medal


Axel Meszaros | D | STL/TOR | TPE: 901
Name: Axel Meszaros
Age: 21
Height: 6'1"
Weight: 198
Number: 2
------------------------------------------------------------
Transactions
Drafted 8th overall to the St. Louis Scarecrows
------------------------------------------------------------
SMJHL Career Stats:
------------------------------------------------------------
SMJHL Career Playoff Stats:
------------------------------------------------------------
SHL Regular Season Stats
------------------------------------------------------------
SHL Playoff Stats
------------------------------------------------------------
Career Achievements:


Robert Lokitonov | Head GM | Toronto North Stars
Name: Robert Lokitonov
Age: 48
Height: 5’11”
Weight: 200 lbs
------------------------------------------------------------
Season Record
ANC S40 9 W | 36 L | 5 OTL | 23 Points | Finished 8th | Missed Playoffs
ANC S41 23 W | 25 L | 2 OTL | 48 Points | Finished 7th| Missed Playoffs
ANC S42 23 W | 22 L | 5 OTL | 51 Points | Finished 4th | Lost in Semis to KEL
ANC S43 19 W | 29 L | 2 OTL | 40 Points | Finished 8th | Missed Playoffs
TOR S44 33 W | 15 L | 2 OTL | 68 Points | Finished 1st East (2nd Overall) | Eliminated 1st Round in 7
TOR S45 24 W | 22 L | 4 OTL | 52 Points | Finished 4th East (8th Overall) | Eliminated 1st Round in 4
TOR S46 29 W | 18 L | 3 OTL | 61 Points | Finished 3rd East (3rd Overall) | Eliminated 1st Round in 7
TOR S47 28 W | 20 L | 2 OTL | 58 Points | Finished 3rd East (6th Overall) | Eliminated 1st Round in 6
------------------------------------------------------------
Career Acomplishments
S39 Named Co-GM of PGF
S42 Named Head GM of PGF
S42 Team moved to Anchorage
S44 Named Toronto Co-GM

Jeff, how you doing my man! Just wanted to tell you Merry Christmas, um, I hope you're enjoying your day with your family, man, to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ, man, that's amazing, congrats to you. Also, I just want to encourage you, man, just, uh, keep your spirits high, man, I know this quarantine is putting a lot of us down because of isolation but it will get better man, just continue to practice, uh, good habits in terms of washing your hands, and, and social distancing when you go out in public. And lastly man, congrats on winning, uh, your championship this year man, your dad said the buccaneers did a great job, uh, so happy for you man, but like I said, keep your spirits high, everything will get better soon and again, Merry Christmas.

Signatures by Vulfzilla, Jepox, Jess, rum_ham, Ragnar, and myself

 

Binko Koivu | S64 D | Colorado Raptors | Atlanta Inferno


Guy Zheng | S46 D -> F | Atlanta Inferno | United Kingdom | 2134 Peak TPE | Retired
Birthplace: United Kingdom
Height: 6' 3"
Weight: 215 lbs
Number: 40
───────────────────────────────────────────────────
Trophies, Awards, and Medals:
S46 | KEL | Quilha Agante Trophy (SMJHL Top Defenseman)
S47 | NEW | Ryan Jesster Nominee (SHL Best Rookie)
S47 | NEW | All Rookie Team
S47 | GB  | IIHF Gold
S49 | GB  | IIHF Silver
S52 | GB  | IIHF Gold
S53 | GB  | IIHF Bronze
S54 | GB  | IIHF Silver
S55 | GB  | IIHF Gold
───────────────────────────────────────────────────
SMJHL Career Statistics:
S45 | KEL | GP: 50 | G: 7 | A: 24 | P: 31 | ATOI: 20.61 | HIT: 37 | SB: 51 | +/-: -14
S46 | KEL | GP: 50 | G: 10 | A: 32 | P: 42 | ATOI: 21.87 | HIT: 27 | SB: 49 | +/-: 19
───────────────────────────────────────────────────
SMJHL Playoffs Statistics:
S45 | KEL | GP: 4 | G: 0 | A: 0 | P: 0 | ATOI: 21.80 | HIT: 2 | SB: 4 | +/-: -5
S45 | KEL | GP: 18 | G: 2 | A: 13 | P: 15 | ATOI: 22.07 | HIT: 7 | SB: 24 | +/-: -5
───────────────────────────────────────────────────
SHL Career Statistics:
S47 | NEW | GP: 50 | G: 5 | A: 22 | P: 27 | ATOI: 22.76 | HIT: 45 | SB: 89 | +/-: -9
S48 | NEW | GP: 50 | G: 5 | A: 19 | P: 24 | ATOI: 21.72 | HIT: 44 | SB: 53 | +/-: -1
S49 | NEW | GP: 50 | G: 7 | A: 21 | P: 28 | ATOI: 21.62 | HIT: 45 | SB: 55 | +/-: 21
───────────────────────────────────────────────────
SHL Playoffs Statistics:
S49 | NEW | GP: 15 | G: 4 | A: 3 | P: 7 | ATOI: 21.96 | HIT: 11 | SB: 15 | +/-: 12
───────────────────────────────────────────────────
Transactions:
S45 | KEL | SMJHL Draft | 15th Overall
S45 | KEL | Contract | $3M AAV, 1 Season
S46 | NEW | SHL Draft | 15th Overall
S46 | NEW | Contract | $3M AAV, 3 Seasons
S49 | NEW | Contract | $5M AAV, 2 Seasons

For Jack Kanoff:

As arguably the worst player in the SHL, how much credit do you give the Seattle GMs for winning 22 games despite your presence? How much credit do you give your teammates?

Do your teammates ever give you a hard time after yet another misplaced pass or shot? If yes, how do you shake off the constant abuse and focus on your (let's face it, awful) game?

Do you ever feel ostracised by your teammates as a result of your poor performances?

You're often abused by fans on social media and in the street, finding yourself somewhat of an easy target due to your poor performances. How does this make you feel?

Are there any players or GMs you'd particularly like to thank for standing by you despite your negative impact on the ice?

Do you cry yourself to sleep at night? If no, should you?

For Jeffie43:

Have you tampered anyone in this league or is that just an ISFL thing?

Do you regret asking me to join the league yet?