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SecondSucks22 · 04-08-2021, 11:20 AM

2x Draft Day Media 2355words +research

Welcome back Ladies and Gentlemen to my bi-yearly rundown of the SMJHL and the teams that make it up. This is meant to give future draftees an idea as to what team they may or may not end up on.

Anaheim Outlaws: Outlaws

GM’s: Ace & Zomp
Team Captain: Ryu Jones

We start off the overview with the Anaheim Outlaws (makes sense alphabet and what not). A team in their 12th season of operation the Anaheim Outlaws have had an A-OK run in terms of Junior teams. With 2 Four Star cups and 4 Four Star Cup finals appearances they are running a 50% chance of winning the whole thing if they make it there, and with 4 appearances in 11 (complete) seasons they are almost as likely to appear as they are to not. Despite their amount of playoff success the Outlaws have never finished top of the league at the end of the season, in fact in the 2 seasons they won the championship, they didnt even finish above 4th, showing that their GM’s seem to flourish in multi game series situations. When asked about the lockerroom, an inside source was quoted as saying “A lot of Bruins talk”. They are on the ass end of a rebuild and are looking to shore up their offence. They could also use a backup goalie to eventually take over the crease for an aging Mietitore. They could also use one last Defenceman to shore up an otherwise solid blue line. In this reporters opinion, look for them to prioritize recreates at this draft.

Anchorage Armada, the team formerly known as the Regina Force, formerly known as the Prince George Firebirds, formerly known as Prince: Armada

GM’s: GWDJohnson & Wearingabear
Team Captain: Bean Beanman

One of the oldest teams in the SMJHL, the Anchorage Armada have a long and storied past. This is not to say it is a good story. This team has been alive and kicking through going on 58 seasons, 2 full rebrands spanning 5,000km, and 21 different General Managers, the longest tenured being Acsolap for 12 seasons. The average tenure for a GM in Anchorage (skewed by Acsolap being a trooper) is around 2.7 seasons, meaning the average player would have 2 different Gm’s during their stay in the north most city in the league. Some of this turn around could be linked to the teams stunning lack of success through their 57 completed seasons, winning the Four Star only 6 times, half of those being in the first 10 seasons of the league. This would mean in 47 seasons they have only managed to best the rest 3 times. There may seem to be some turn around happening, having won the Four Star in seasons 51 and 57, but I wouldnt get overly optimistic given the teams history of being good for 10 seasons and atrocious for 40, if that continues as habit. One inside source was quoted as saying “The lockerroom is great, super active, but Gabe being GM is bad” when told about the average tenure being 2.7 seasons they responded “good”. This team has a pretty solid defensive core going into next season, but they are expected to lose a few forwards and their starting goalie to call ups. They also dont have a first round pick so look for them to be taking a goalie in the second round, someone like Osada Tamura would be a great get.

Carolina Kraken, formerly the Brandon Blazers, Montreal Impact, and Montreal Militia: Kraken

GM’s: Sve7en and Overdoo
Team Captain: Jimmy Jimmy

Just, before I even start this, this team in one way or another has also been around since season 1 they became the Impact in season 4 and I have no clue how well the Brandon Blazers performed because leafs4stanley gave up recording team history, much like the leafs give up playing defence. We will, for clairity sake, just assume that the team did sweet fuck all before they were moved to Montreal (otherwise why would you relocate a team after 3 seasons). The Kraken, much like the Armada seemed to struggle being in the league early on, having only won 7 Four Stars in their 57 season of play, and to parallel the Armada, in the past 10 seasons they have also won 2 championships (49 and 50). Insiders have said its not the most active roster, so look for them to start retooling over the next few seasons to bring in more vocal players. Overall im not expecting big things from this team over the next 4 seasons. A relatively young team, the Kraken are only expected to lose 3 players this year to callups or age-outs, all three at forward position, so like almost every other team in this draft, they will be targeting forwards. They also are flirting with losing their goalie to ageout, meaning they may like to get ahead of the curve and draft their replacement if a goalie falls to them near the fourth round.

Colorado Raptors: Raptors

GM’s: Lordbirdman & Jumbobone19
Team Captain: Ruggs McOoooh

Out of all the teams in the SMJHL, the Colorado Raptors are probably the least accomplished. Founded in Season 25, they won the whole shebang just 3 seasons later in season 27 defeating Montreal in 6 games. Thats it, thats really it. They have done sweet fuck all since. They have had 3 finals appearances since that championship, and have managed to not get swept in 4 games in only one of those series. They have a combined 9 playoff GAME wins since season 51. The only nice thing i can really say about this team is that the GM is a cool guy, and that the lockerroom, so I have been told, is active, like really active. Otherwise they have a turnover rate just above Montreal having had 11 GM’s in 31 seasons. Colorado might be entering their first legit shot at a championship this season with most of the core capped out, though they could use some help on the blueline. With no second round pick we can expect them to take the best player available first round, bonus points if its a defenceman. They also might trade their third for some fourths depending on draft depth.

Detroit Falcons: Falcons

GM’s: Nour & MutedFaith
Team Captain: Jonathan Granström

Honestly I dont even know what I want to write for these guys. They havent updated their team history since 2018, roughly season 40. There is almost 20 seasons worth of who fucking knows going on here. As far as I know, they have won the 4 Star 5 times since their season 5 incarnation and theyve topped the league atleast 7 times. Other than those fun tidbits, I know that they have had ATLEAST 2 general managers and that they like to yell SKREE alot (my girlfriend who spent 3 seasons there STILL says skree when they are mentioned). Locker room is active and the GM’s are cool, they have a rich history of drafts and everyone in that lockerroom are decent people. I refuse to interview their current GM or past GM for information that should be available. Smdh. This team is full up on centers, so Defence and wingers will be the main get, though if a decent Center is available late, they might snatch him up. When I was writing this, they didnt have a first, second or third, but they just traded a first and a second for a first this season, so they WANT someone. Probably Dmills

Kelowna Knights: Knights

GM’s: Katth & Naosu
Team Captain: Teddy Park

Kelowna per season 47 was one of the most dominant SMJHL teams to have existed having won 11 championships and at the time 3 of the last 5, but since S47 things have started to taper off. They have lost sole ownership of “Most championships” to their life long rival Vancouver Whalers. Not all is bad as they are currently (as I write this) Sitting atop their division and the entire league with an impressive 41-7-2 record, meaning they have as good a shot as anyone at willing the championship and reclaiming sole title ownership. However teams that win the league tend to have a poor “put up or shut up” record so who knows. They are currently going through a minor management change, and with that comes some issues scouting. Forwards, like most teams, will be a priority here. Otherwise theyll be looking for players that are ontop of their development.

Maine Timber, formerly the Halifax Raiders: Timber

GM’s: Toast & Cementhands
Team Captain: Sean Gatez

Founded in season 25 by Vbottas17 the Maine Timber have suffered maybe some of the worst luck in the league, if Colorado didnt exist. Theres just something about season 25 expansion teams and not performing to the standards that they are expected to meet. Maine won the championship in season 26 and 30. Since then they have managed to hover around 2nd or 3rd round exits in the playoffs since season 45, not including not qualifying for 2 consecutive seasons in season 53 and 54. Despite the horror that is their playoff record, the team has managed to retain their front office better than some of their peers however. They have a nice logo, thats all the nice i can muster. The Timber are coming off a rebuilding season and can be expected to not draft for position, taking the “highest rated” player available in each pick, they might also be the first team to skip a selection in this draft.

Nevada Battleborn:

GM’s: Jearim & Nokazoa
Team Captain: Who the fuck knows

Honestly my only hope with this team is to bullshit, for just a while. I asked both gm’s to tell me something about their team for me to write here and no one did. They also both didnt tell me who the team Captain is, so as far as we can be concerned, they dont have one. I have no idea what their lockerroom is up to, whether its active or not. They havent done anything of note in the playoffs, infact I dont even know if they are actually a team. Has anyone gone to a game? Who would put a hockey team in Nevada anyway? Isnt BattleBorn a game? Like what is going on here I am so confused! Nevada isnt going to be picky in this draft, with alot of forwards in this draft I can see them taking a high end defensive talent early. Theyll be looking to pick up some hard hitters, or power forwards if they can swing it.

Newfoundland Berserkers:

GM’s: Nhamlet & Juke
Team Captain: Vaseline Podcalzone

Uhhh another super new team, except I have proof that these guys exist as they have won the championship once… other than that they have some cool jerseys and a RIDICULOUSLY active locker room, im talking 70k messages in february. Newfoundland has one of the most complete rosters in the league with 14 returning players this season. This means that they can be extremely picky with who they select. When asked Nhamlet told me that they are looking for a forward who likes to pass the puck, meaning their best bet will be J.J. James. Jamerson Angler, as he has the highest pass rating of the group thusfar.

Quebec City Citadels: Citadelles

GM’s: Evok & Faelax
Team Captain: Jasper Maximov

Also super new, im talking 3 seasons. I have it on good authority that their locker room is SUPER active, and I know for a fact their GM’s are attentive and answer the questions that are asked of them. Their GM wanted me to add that in 3 seasons they have won 10 awards, though i must point out, none of them are the four star. These guys have hope, and anyone drafted there is in for some hardware. Quebec looks to be entering a rebuild, which they hope to get the most done this draft possible. Look for them to take the best player available and not be picky about it, they could draft at all positions, and possibly pull of trades to stock the cupboards as much as they can this season.

St. Louis Scarecrows:

GM’s: Capt_Blitzkrieg & TheSparkyDee
Team Captain:?????

Founded in Season 9, the Scarecrows are one of the least kept teams in terms of historical information. What I can tell you is that they won 3 consecutive Four Star Championships through seasons 44 to 46. What I dont understand about this team is, much like Detroit they have a call, specifically “Caww” and a chant of “go crows!”. Now tell me dear reader, why the fuck would you celebrate crows, WHEN YOU ARE A SCARECROW. The “Crows”??? Are losing some key pieces this year, notably some high flying wingers and their main defensive defenceman, both are rolls they are going to need to look to fill before the end of the draft.

Vancouver Whalers: Whalers

GM’s: Boom & Dextaria
Team Captain: Valtterri Kauppinen

This team is close to my heart, and I cant really say anything bad about them, but i will eventually. Kelowna’s biggest rival, the Vancouver Whalers saw Kelowna win their 11th championship in season 42, and took that very personal. As their GM’s transitioned they underwent one of the fastest rebuilds in SMJHL history through some amazing drafting on LukeTD’s part, players that would go on to break the sim engine and usher the league into a new era. Vancouver then went on to win championships in 43, 48, and 56 to tie Kelowna at 11 Championships a piece. Their colours are great, the locker room is great, the GM’s are great. The only down side is, much like the Scarecrows, the Whalers say “Go Whales” when celebrating. YOUR WHOLE JOB IS TO KILL WHALES NOT ENCOURAGE THEM. Vancouver is losing mainly forward to call up this season, meaning when they pick, it will almost definitely be a forward. They also have a goalie going into what will probably be his last junior season, so if they were smart, they would pick one up to let them grow a little before they are relied upon.

steveoiscool · 04-08-2021, 11:24 AM

Quote:the Whalers say “Go Whales” when celebrating. YOUR WHOLE JOB IS TO KILL WHALES NOT ENCOURAGE THEM.

It's the thrill of the hunt.

***Patty*** · 04-08-2021, 11:33 AM

***bluesfan55*** · 04-08-2021, 11:48 AM

good job jax

LordBirdman · 04-08-2021, 12:45 PM

Really pulling no punches here haha

Edit: We also had 7 wins this past playoffs so I'm a bit skeptical of your math

SlashACM · 04-08-2021, 01:15 PM

Fuck detroit!

SecondSucks22 · 04-08-2021, 05:55 PM

04-08-2021, 12:45 PMLordBirdman Wrote: Really pulling no punches here haha

Edit: We also had 7 wins this past playoffs so I'm a bit skeptical of your math

I wrote this pre playoffs, so my math was correct

***Vandy*** · 04-08-2021, 05:57 PM

Quote:Their GM wanted me to add that in 3 seasons they have won 10 awards, though i must point out, none of them are the four star.

Ya sure?

DollaBill · 04-08-2021, 06:06 PM

"...the Colorado Raptors are probably the least accomplished."

I take offense to this. This is about to change.

SecondSucks22 · 04-08-2021, 09:41 PM

04-08-2021, 05:57 PMVandy Wrote:
Quote:Their GM wanted me to add that in 3 seasons they have won 10 awards, though i must point out, none of them are the four star.

Ya sure?

"i wrote this before the playoffs" one comment above this, come on man

***Vandy*** · 04-08-2021, 10:09 PM

04-08-2021, 09:41 PMSecondSucks22 Wrote:
04-08-2021, 05:57 PMVandy Wrote: Ya sure?
"i wrote this before the playoffs" one comment above this, come on man

no u

**_Blitz_** · 04-08-2021, 10:18 PM

04-08-2021, 11:20 AMSecondSucks22 Wrote: St. Louis Scarecrows
GM’s: Capt_Blitzkrieg & TheSparkyDee
Team Captain:?????

Founded in Season 9, the Scarecrows are one of the least kept teams in terms of historical information. What I can tell you is that they won 3 consecutive Four Star Championships through seasons 44 to 46. What I dont understand about this team is, much like Detroit they have a call, specifically “Caww” and a chant of “go crows!”. Now tell me dear reader, why the fuck would you celebrate crows, WHEN YOU ARE A SCARECROW. The “Crows”??? Are losing some key pieces this year, notably some high flying wingers and their main defensive defenceman, both are rolls they are going to need to look to fill before the end of the draft.

A few corrections here.

We were founded in S5 as the Boston Battalion, rebranded to the Chicago Hitmen in S8, and then finally to the Scarecrows in S13. That's part of why our early history is a little foggy.

Our call is actually "Scarecrow Noises", so anybody cawing is off-base. Given that it's an imitation of Detroit's Highly Publicized Wailing of the Damned, I'm not a fan of cawing anyway (except in our goal horns, but that's another matter). If it's any of my guys, please point them out so we can go through player orientation again.

I do agree that it's a little weird that we've been short-handed to the Crows, but it wasn't something that we were openly out there calling ourselves. I will allege that any such claims are a Detroit misinformation campaign. That said, it stuck and it's been stuck since well before I got here. Changing it would take a rebrand, and we like being the Scarecrows so it's not changing. We've kind of embraced it at this point.

As far as team needs, you're spot on! Overall, a great read!

***notorioustig*** · 04-09-2021, 02:16 AM

@SecondSucks22 I was too busy building juggernauts that didn't win the cup to update the team history. And then when we built a juggernaut that won the cup I was too excited and forgot and now it's nour's fault

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