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Otis B. Driftwood Drifts Away
#1

TL/DR : I’ve been here a long time, made a lot of friends and I’m out for now





I started in the SHL back in February of 2015 with my first player, center Slappy McDoodle. My second player, defenseman Otis B. Driftwood was created back in January of 2018. It would seem three years is about the viable shelf life of my guys.

Slappy McDoodle was a great experience for me. Coming up through the Kelowna Knights and winning a Four Star Cup under the management of Kez was a solid introduction to the league. McDoodle went on to be drafted in the second round by the West Kendall Platoon.

The Platoon were in a truly sorry state at that time. We had an inactive GM, had just lost two of our best players to free agency and our goalie had just been penalized by a reduction in tpe due to an April Fools joke. The locker room wasn’t in a very good state and I was wondering what I’d got myself into. What I didn’t realize at that time was I came in at the ground floor with nowhere to go but up.

In West Kendall I got to know a group of really wonderful individuals. This league really blossomed for me in the relationships I forged on that team. People like Rice, Oats, Bojo, Pandar, Enigmatic, Pris, AGH and numerous others became important to me. I was invested in them and the team. These were the days before discord. We would regularly fill two hundred pages in a single season discussion thread.

We got pretty damn good back then on the ice as well. Together we built our players, collected our TPE , and built a powerhouse. We were never able to take that last step and bring home the cup but we made a few finals and made numerous deep playoff runs. It was a blast being on that team and around those teammates.

Sixteen seasons in after a career in which Slappy had moved from center to defenseman back to center and then out to wing depending on the he needs of the team at that time and a long tenure as team captain, it was time for him to hang up the skates.

By this time I had been on a few different committees around the league, the Big Slappy Hour was rolling and bankrolling both my and Bonk’s players and I felt like I was ready to crush with my second guy. I was still not interested in building a flashy score first type. Winning individual awards has never been a big draw for me. I decided defenseman would be the way to go the second time around.

I had a pretty firm idea of how I wanted to build the player. I was envisioning a big, strong, physical beast that would strike fear into the hearts of his opponents. I wanted a guy that could gain possession of the puck with a devastating hit, carry the puck out of the defensive zone and put it on the stick of a wing in a spot where they could do some damage with it. It was going to be all about dirty work, grinding and blocking shots.

It took me longer to come up with the name than anything else. Slappy McDoodle was essentially named after me, or at least my online persona since 2001. This time I wanted something meaningful and personal but without any direct connection. I have been a lifelong fan of the Marx Brothers. I grew up watching their movies on tv ( not at the movies asshole, I’m not THAT old). Groucho Marx always had elaborate and funny names in every movie and I decided to choose from amongst them. I narrowed it down to two but couldn’t decide between them. Eventually I just gave up, called Bonk, gave him the choices and let him decide. Thus Otis B. Driftwood was born.

Otis was drafted by the St. Louis Scarecrows and their then manager Joe K. Joe was on the Calgary Dragons, managed by my good real life friend Esa. He got the inside scoop from Esa and decided to roll with me. I don’t think I’d be alone in saying the second time around in the J is not nearly as exciting. It’s mostly just a place holder while waiting to get called up. That being said, the Scarecrows were a great team with a lot of good people. I didn’t contribute a heck of lot in the LR, but Otis contributed his fair share on the ice helping to bring home a Four Star Cup.

Draft day for Otis was a lot less tense than it had been for Slappy. Everyone knew Winter Is Coming’s second player was going to be the first pick to Buffalo. Meanwhile Esa had traded for the second pick with the intention of taking Otis second, which he promptly did. My first guy went in the second round. My next guy went second overall. Not a bad progression.

Calgary has now been my SHL home for eighteen seasons. I cannot begin to express how fortunate I feel for that. It is a truly wonderful assemblage of people. Not only those on the team currently but so many past Dragons as well, that still hang out and join in the fun. All things ebb and flow and activity levels fluctuate, but Calgary has had such a consistent and engaged group of people over these years. I have had the great pleasure of getting to know so many and to be surrounded by a few I already knew well. To have people like Joe K, TDZ, Wally, Weretarantula, Nimblerod (aka Barnabas Collins), DollarAndADream, EJ, Kath, BK, ACC, Jala, Wongy, Cookies, Labsy and on and on and on around is a true pleasure. To have real life friends like Alex Mack and the wonderful Esa around just made it all the more special.

Anyone that ever gets the opportunity to play for messuiers Izzy and Esa would be be wise to do so. Two more talented and dedicated members of this sight would be hard to find. These are good, kind, funny and friendly people. These are nurturers that can help a newbie sapling grow into a mighty oak. I thank them both from the bottom of my heart.

So Otis played for eighteen seasons. He served as Calgary captain for a significant time until voluntarily stepping down as my activity waned. Driftwood managed to win two cups during his tenure. The second in season 50 will always be especially sweet as I consider that the Izzy/Vilde/Otis Cup, where we won as the three driving forces on the team. He received little to no attention from the Awards committee since they only care about scoring. I believe he had a pretty solid reputation around the league though and I can confidently state that for about a five season window he was one of the two best defensemen in the league. He managed to score over 500 career points despite never focusing on that aspect of the game. He finishes as the franchise leader in blocked shots and plus minus, second in hits to only Mike Izzy ( who holds the SHL record in that category) a boatload of playoff points and over a thousand parms eaten.

All good things must come to an end. This marks the end of Otis B. Driftwood’s career. It also marks the end of my regular participation in the SHL, at least for now. I have no current plans to re-create. I may well do so down the line a little, I’m going to just kick back and see how I feel for the time being. After six years in the SHL, having served in HO and just having been passionately devoted to the league all that time, I need to clear my head. This league has changed immensely over that time. Some changes I like, some I love, some I do not care for. I will not use this space to gripe further. I will only say I will monitor the situation from a distance and see where it goes. If the time is right and the circumstances are in tune with me then perhaps there will be another guy down the line. Regardless I leave the SHL profoundly happy for having been a part of it.

I want to thank you to about a thousand people, which of course is way to big a pain in my ass and nobody would want to look at it anyway. Therefore allow me to say, Thank You SHL (yes even you Buffalo, maybe not Hamilton though) for everything, it has been a hell of a ride.

A special thank you to all my poddy Pals. You knuckleheads know who you are. Thank you to all of the BSH family, whether you were an active participant or just a passive listener, I truly appreciate it and you.

A special thank you to my true compadre, the only Big to fill my Slappy Hour, uncle to my children, my best fiend since seventh grade over 35 years ago, my little Bonky-Poo.


Sincerely and appreciatively,
Slappy

Cheers

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#2


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#3

Ima miss ya @Slappydoodle . Enjoy the break, rest and recover and do come back. Even in a casual manner!

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#4

You have been super influential to allot of us here slappy.. can’t thank you enough for what you brought to the Calgary experience and the dedication you’ve shown to the site over the years. I also very much appreciate our friendship.

You kicked ass brotha!

Izz -

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#5

We'll miss you slappy, hopefully some time off will reignite that fire





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#6

Dragonite Dragonite Dragonite

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#7

The Dragons have been my only SHL home. I would not be here if not for Esa and Izzy. I echo your thoughts towards them 100%.

As for yourself, you've been amazing in the LR and on the scoresheet, and in the SHL in general. Awesome career. Can't say enough.

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#8

Old man will be puffin' many cigars

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#9

You're a great person and made two great players that had major impacts on their franchises, the league was better for having you as part of it and certainly my experience became more enjoyable the day you joined the league. Being able to experience the league with a great friend irl and eventually being on the same team made the last few years extra special for me. Can't thank you enough for what you've done for me personally here and for the Dragons. Calgary would not be where we are today as an organization without your support and positive impact within the room and of course great play on the ice. You are a legendary SHL member and your time in the league enhanced the experience for many members on many different levels, enjoy your well deserved time off my friend and thank you. <3

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