Login

UberBJ · 06-13-2021, 02:36 AM

"First off, welcome to all you GMs and reporters in the house. I would like to take the time to thank you for coming, and also to ask that if you see anyone from Lavelle Sports Group to please report it to security immediately.

With the upcoming draft I've had a lot of questions thrown my way, many of them unrelated to hockey (and pertaining to that bloke Stephen Toast. For what its worth, Ray Purchase is the superior talent and owns the booth.), and now with the Prospect Showcase behind me I'm ready for one last session with you lot. You in the front, go ahead."

Are you disappointed at all with your performance in the Prospect Showcase? How about your team?

"I think disappointed is a bit of an understatement in my play. Side note: I was dealing with several grade 2 burns on my right hand due to a street gypsy attacking me for 5 quid last Tuesday. It's not ideal to show a bad streak right before the draft, but I hope that what I put out on the PKs and snagging a couple shorthand goals will be something the GMs consider. I'm planning on coming back to full strength by the time of preseason. Regarding the Phoenix Screaming Cacti, I was surprised we didn't even make the final given how well we played in the earlier games. I did enjoy meeting my fellow draftees though, there's definitely some good talent out there. Next question."

What's the worst team you could go to and will you holdout?

"Are you trying to get me in trouble and lose my draft stock? I'm not answering that. Wait a minute, you're a fucking chimpo. Are you with Lavelle? SECURITY!!"
*Scuffle Ensues*
"Sorry about that folks, next question."

Any speculation on where you'll go during the draft? Are you willing to leak a preferred landing place?

"I like to think I'd go in the 1st round, but am not too bothered if I don't. I think the team that takes me is playing Chess not checkers. Every organization I've talked to has been the bees knees, but I do have a recommendation from my mate Bigga that Maine is a fun place. As long as I avoid that German bloke Hefeweizen, I think I'll be ok, but it looks like they sent him adrift recently anyways."

How do you plan on splitting time from producing and playing professionally?

"I don't, I'm fully focused on my hockey career now. Maybe during the offseason I'll fly back to London and shoot season 5 of Toast though.
Truthfully, I want to get into scouting and coaching on the side with my free time."

Many scouts are saying you're too aggressive and a bit of a goon. Any comment on that?

"Yeah so I've been seeing a therapist and am making some changes to my life. I think that you'll see me move away from brawling and into playing the game more. Expect me to emulate my boy Dougie and be a threat going forward while cutting down on the PIM with smart checks in our zone. One last question"

Thanks Clem. Best of luck in the draft. What are the best 3 qualities you bring to your new team?

"Why constrain it to 3? Just kidding, we all want to get out of here I know. If I had to pick I'd go with:

My Personality - I know my style and essence bring a lot to my future org. I'll make sure our team is dressed to impress, and always have the laughs rolling.
Versatility - Versatility on the ice in that I can play both ways. I'm no stranger to being used on the wings or as my traditional defenseman role.
Drive - I will be a top player at my position. I guarantee it.

With that, thanks again for coming out and look for my new album to drop next month."

DeletedAtUserRequest · 06-14-2021, 06:54 PM

+1

|

|

|

|

Navigation

Extra Menu

About us