Code:

Your task: Explain what highly marketable frozen liquid you're going to replace all SHL ice with, and why it's better than boring old water.

This season instead of using regular ass boring water the Winnipeg Aurora are setting up their game and bringing the latest fad to their rink. FROZEN LIQUID DEAAAAAAAATH. This metal as fuck sparkling water will terrify every team who has to play the game of hockey on it.

[48 words]

Thank you Fever, sköldpaddor and OD for the amazing sigs!

  Montreal Impact/Militia

|Player Page| |Update Page|

Ryuuji Kawashima || C || Edmonton Blizzard || 2034 TPE || Empty Pockets
Name: Ryuuji Kawashima
Age: 20
Height: 6'4"
Weight: 213 lbs
Number: 26
-----------------
Transactions:
Drafted 4th overall in S58 SMJHL Draft to the Anaheim Outlaws

Rafe Ulrich || LW || Montreal Militia || 1442 TPE || New England Wolfpack
Name: Rafe Ulrich
Age: 18
Height: 6'7"
Weight: 250 lbs
Number: 13
-----------------
Transactions:
Drafted 3rd overall in S41 SMJHL Draft to the Montreal Militia
Drafted 1st overall in S42 SHL Draft to the New England Wolfpack

Raven Silverwang || RW || Wolfpack || 1718 TPE || Triple Gold Champ
Name: Raven Silverwing
Age: 34
Height: 6'7"
Weight: 220 lbs
Number: 13
-----------------
SMJHL Regular Season Stats
S26||MTL||GP: 50||G: 4||A: 1||P: 5||+/-: -6||PIM: 8||H: 33||SHT: 15||SB: 2
S27||MTL||GP: 50||G: 33||A: 29||P: 62||+/-: 19||PIM: 38||H: 44||SHT: 212||SB: 12
S28||MTL||GP: 50||G: 20||A: 33||P: 53||+/-: 22||PIM: 16||H: 48||SHT: 185||SB: 9
SMJHL Total Regular Season Stats:
S26-28||MTL||GP: 150 || G: 57 || A: 63 || P: 120 || +/-: 35 || PIM: 62 || SHT: 412
------------------------------------------------------------
SMJHL Play Off Statisticals
S26||MTL||GP: 5||G: 0||A: 0||P: 0||+/-: -1||PIM: 2||H: 3||SHT: 4||SB: 0
S27||MTL||GP: 17||G: 12||A: 9||P: 21||+/-: -2||PIM: 0||H: 19||SHT: 68||SB: 4
S28||MTL||GP: 14||G: 6||A: 6||P: 12||+/-: 5||PIM: 8||H: 27||SHT: 59||SB: 4
------------------------------------------------------------
SHL Regular Season Stats
S29||NEW||GP: 50||G: 2||A: 5||P: 7||+/-: -9||PIM: 11||H: 38||SHT: 80||SB: 3||SHT%: 2.50%
S30||NEW||GP: 50||G: 13||A: 18||P: 31||+/-: 9||PIM: 0||H: 10||SHT: 176||SB: 13||SHT%: 7.39%
S31||NEW||GP: 50||G: 20||A: 27||P: 47||+/-: 15||PIM: 0||H: 4||SHT: 182||SB: 11||SHT%: 10.99%
S32||NEW||GP: 50||G: 20||A: 19||P: 39||+/-: 20||PIM: 7||H: 8||SHT: 190||SB: 2||SHT%: 10.53%
S33||NEW||GP: 50||G: 26||A: 24||P: 50||+/-: 14||PIM: 33||H: 16||SHT: 209||SB: 9||SHT%: 12.44%
S34||NEW||GP: 50||G: 25||A: 25||P: 50||+/-: 17||PIM: 12||H: 10||SHT: 200||SB: 7||SHT%: 12.50%
S35||NEW||GP: 50||G: 25||A: 21||P: 46||+/-: 11||PIM: 22||H: 25||SHT: 211||SB: 16||SHT%: 11.85%
S36||NEW||GP: 50||G: 20||A: 28||P: 48||+/-: 12||PIM: 12||H: 70||SHT: 205||SB: 18||SHT%: 9.76%||FO%: 56.79%||FOT: 1141
S37||NEW||GP: 50||G: 21||A: 28||P: 49||+/-: 5||PIM: 19||H: 18||SHT: 198||SB: 16||SHT%: 10.61%||FO%: 55.90%||FOT: 1855
S38||NEW||GP: 50||G: 24||A: 29||P: 53||+/-: 4||PIM: 4||H: 19||SHT: 212||SB: 21||SHT%: 11.32%||FO%: 51.76%||FOT: 1735
<OPTION>SHL Regular Season Stats:
S29-38||NEW||GP: 500||G: 196||A: 224||P: 420||+/-: 98||PIM: 110||H: 218||SHT: 1863||SB: 116||SHT%: 9.99%||FO%: 54.82% ||FOT: 4731
SHL Play Off Statisticals
S29||NEW||DNQ
S30||NEW||GP: 14||G: 6||A: 7||P: 13||+/-: 13||PIM: 0||H: 1||SHT: 47||SB: 4||SHT%: 12.77%  *CUP*
S31||NEW||GP: 19||G: 8||A: 11||P: 19||+/-: 5||PIM:17||H: 2||SHT: 56||SB: 4||SHT%: 14.29% *CUP*
S32||NEW||GP: 11||G: 2||A: 1||P: 3||+/-: 0||PIM: 0||H: 1|| SHT: 54||SB: 3|| SHT%: 3.70%
S33||NEW||GP: 18||G: 9||A: 10||P: 19||+/-: 14||PIM: 21||H: 7||SHT: 72||SB: 2||SHT%: 12.50%
S34||NEW||GP: 11||G: 5||A: 5||P: 10||+/-: -4||PIM: 0||H: 11||SHT: 40||SB: 1||SHT%: 12.50%
S35||NEW||GP: 9||G: 1||A: 4||P: 5||+/-: -8||PIM: 19||H: 3||SHT: 34||SB: 4||SHT%: 2.94%
S36||NEW||GP: 18||G: 10||A: 9||P: 19||+/-: 5||PIM: 5||H: 17||SHT: 87||SB: 6||SHT%: 11.49%||FO%: 52.77% (578)
S37||NEW||DNQ
S38||NEW||GP: 7||G: 2||A: 3||P: 5||+/-: 4||PIM: 0||H: 3||SHT: 29||SB: 2||SHT%: 6.90%||FO%: 50.20% (249)
SHL Total Playoff Stats:
S29-38||NEW||GP: 107||G: 43||A: 50||P: 93||+/-: 29||PIM: 62||H: 45||SHT: 419||SB: 26||SHT%: 9.64%||FO%: 51.49% (578)
-------------------------------------------------------------
IIHF Round Robin Statistics
S26||UK||GP: 10||G: 0||A: 0||P: 0||+/-: 2||PIM: 0||H: 7||SHT: 1|| SB: 0
S27||UK||GP: 10||G: 0||A: 0||P: 0||+/-: -4||PIM: 0||H: 3||SHT: 7|| SB: 1
S28||UK||GP: 10||G: 0||A: 2||P: 2||+/-: 2||PIM: 0||H: 1||SHT: 4|| SB: 2
S29||UK||GP: 10||G: 0||A: 1||P: 1||+/-: -5||PIM: 2||H: 9||SHT: 14|| SB: 1
S30||UK||GP: 10||G: 3||A: 3||P: 6||+/-: 2||PIM: 0||H: 5||SHT: 30||SB: 3||SHT%: 10.00%||FOT: 208||FO%: 40.38%
S31||UK||GP: 10||G: 1||A: 4||P: 5||+/-: -7||PIM: 0||H: 3||SHT: 21||SB: 3||SHT%: 4.76%||FOT: 259||FO%: 43.24%
------------------------------------------------------------
IIHF Medal Round Statistics
S26||UK||GP: 1||G: 0||A: 1||P: 0||+/-: 1||PIM: 0||H: 0||SHT: 0||SB: 0
S27 - Did not qualify-
S28||UK||GP: 1||G: 0||A: 0||P: 0||+/-: -1||PIM: 0||H: 0||SHT: 0||SB: 1
S29 - Did not qualify-
S30||UK||GP: 3||G: 2||A: 1||P: 3||+/-: 2||PIM: 0||H: 1||SHT: 8||SB: 0||SHT%: 25.00%||FOT:51||FO%: 43.14%
S31||UK||GP: 1||G: 0||A: 1||P: 1||+/-: 1||PIM: 0||H: 0||SHT: 1||SB: 0||SHT%: 0%||FOT: 28||FO%: 35.71%
------------------------------------------------------------
Trophy Case
S26 Laurifer Trophy - Montreal Impact
S27 Laurifer Trophy - Montreal Impact
S27 Zach Miller Trophy - (Most Dedicated Player)
S27 Ideen Fallah Award - (MVP Voted by Awards Committee)
S27 Jared Hanson Trophy - (Top in points)
S27 Roberto Martucci - (Most Goals)
S28 FOUR STAR CUP WINNER (MONTREAL IMPACT)
S28 Damien Littleton Award - (Most dedicated SHLer)
S28 Zach Miller Trophy - (Most Dedicated Player)
S28 Elias Armia - (Commish MVP)
S28 Jared Hansen - (Top Point-Scorer)
S30 CHALLENGE CUP CHAMPIONS (NEW ENGLAND WOLFPACK)
S30 IIHF SILVER MEDAL TEAM UK
S31 CHALLENGE CUP CHAMPIONS (NEW ENGLAND WOLFPACK)
S33 CHALLENGE CUP CHAMPIONS (NEW ENGLAND WOLFPACK)
------------------------------------------------------------
Transactions:
Drafted 30sth overall in S26 SMJHL Draft by Montreal Impact
Drafted 7th overall in S27 SHL Draft by New England Wolfpack
------------------------------------------------------------
Cool Stuff:
Assigned Captian of the Montreal Impact S27
Assigned Captian of the Montreal Militia S28
Assigned Alternative Captian of the New England Wolfpack S30
(づ ﾟ□ ﾟ)づ(づ ﾟ□ ﾟ)づ(づ ﾟ□ ﾟ)づ(づ ﾟ□ ﾟ)づ(づ ﾟ□ ﾟ)づ(づ ﾟ□ ﾟ)づ(づ ﾟ□ ﾟ)づ

Red wine obviously. Nothing better to fall into after getting placated against the glass than to immediately shove your face with some fantastic red wine for the pain to disappear.

(30 words)

I think we should absolutely replace the frozen water ice with frozen margarita mixes, specifically kiwi strawberry flavored mix. This will absolutely be a terrible idea, but imagine all the advertisement money we'd bring in!

Miroslav Ketil
Next Great Whaler
S64 VAN - 66 GP - 7 G - 16 A - 23 P
S65 VAN - 66 GP - 16 G - 24 A - 40 P
S66 VAN - 66 GP - 21 G - 33 A - 54 P

I'd pick Gatorade. Could pretty easily start a huge trend with it. Buy some stock in Gatorade and watch my retirement fund grow. Not that I'm gonna get to retire, climate change is gonna fuck us before then.

Cal Juice
Tomas Zadina
Brady McIntyre

My new ice surface would be made from liquid nitrogen cooled off to solid state.  Because of its super cold state, a player would be able to skate extremely quickly on its surface.  Of course, this product would be called "NitroIce"

Milk. Why milk? Because it'll be white as white can be and that's cool and you could easily make it even chocolate milk too, so when ever someone takes a bad hit the can lay on the ice for a little longer to lick it.

     

/  

Big thanks to Pythonic(first sig evah), Sloth(first LAP sig<3) and Ragnar for their sigs<3

| G | S60 | Olof Karsikko | #38 | VAN | LAP | NEW |Peak TPE 2008 |

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Drafted 29th OA by Vancouver Whalers in the S59 SMJHL Entry Draft

Drafted 23rd OA by Tampa Bay Barracuda in the S60 SHL Entry Draft

Traded to LAP from TBB during S61, before playing in the SHL

Traded to NEW from LAP, start of S68

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Height: 6'5"

Weight: 250lbs

Hand: Right

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Regular season statistics (SMJHL):

S59: GP: 34 W: 12 L: 16 OTL: 3 GAA: 2.81 SO: 2 SV%: 0.920

S60: GP: 58 W: 39 L: 14 OTL: 5 GAA: 2.43 SO: 8 SV%: 0.912

S61: GP: 55 W: 42 L: 10 OTL: 3 GAA: 2.23 SO: 8 SV%: 0.913

WJC statistics:

S60: GP: 8 W: 8 L: 0 OTL: 0 GAA: 0.62 SO: 5 SV%: 0.969

S61: GP: 8 W: 7 L: 1 OTL: 0 GAA: 1.37 SO: 2 SV%: 0.934

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Regular season statistics (SHL):

FHM6

S62: GP: 44 W: 28 L: 14 OTL: 1 GAA: 2.47 SO: 6 SV%: 0.915

  -playoffs GP: 17 W: 10 L: 5 OTL: 2 GAA: 2.30 SO: 3 SV%: 0.924

S63: GP: 55 W: 29 L: 21 OTL: 5 GAA: 3.14 SO: 2 SV%: 0.894

  -playoffs GP: 22 W: 14 L: 8 OTL: 0 GAA: 2.30 SO: 4 SV%: 0.932

S64: GP: 53 W: 32 L: 13 OTL: 8 GAA: 2.62 SO: 4 SV%: 0.917

  -playoffs GP: 12 W: 6 L: 4 OTL: 2 GAA: 1.98 SO: 4 SV%: 0.927

S65: GP: 52 W: 37 L: 13 OTL: 2 GAA: 2.58 SO: 2 SV%: 0.914

  -playoffs GP: 20 W: 16 L: 4 OTL: 0 GAA: 1.90 SO: 3 SV%: 0.937

FHM8

S66: GP: 55 W: 34 L: 15 OTL: 4 GAA: 2.95 SO: 3 SV%: 0.900
  -playoffs GP: 9 W: 4 L: 5 OTL: 0 GAA: 2.52 SO: 0 SV%: 0.902

S67: GP: 51 W: 24 L: 23 OTL: 1 GAA: 3.66 SO: 1 SV%: 0.891
  -playoffs GP: 6 W: 2 L: 4 OTL: 0 GAA: 4.18 SO: 1 SV%: 0.857

S68: GP: 55 W: 21 L: 25 OTL: 8 GAA: 3.78 SO: 1 SV%: 0.884
  -playoffs GP: 5 W: 1 L: 4 OTL: 0 GAA: 3.42 SO: 0 SV%: 0.917

S69: GP: 54 W: 34 L: 16 OTL: 4 GAA: 2.73 SO: 8 SV%: 0.910
  -playoffs GP: 8 W: 5 L: 1 OTL: 0 GAA: 3.42 SO: 0 SV%: 0.902

S70: GP: 50 W: 27 L: 13 OTL: 5 GAA: 3.11 SO: 4 SV%: 0.907
 -playoffs GP: 28 W: 16 L: 10 OTL: 2 GAA: 3.19 SO: 2 SV%: 0.916 GSAA: 40.19

S71: GP: 50 W: 38 L: 7 OTL: 3 GAA: 2.55 SO: 6 SV%: 0.908
  -playoffs GP: 9 W: 4 L: 5 OTL: 0 GAA: 2.79 SO: 0 SV%: 0.910

S72: GP: 55 W: 39 L: 15 OTL: 0 GAA: 3.41 SO: 2 SV%: 0.895
  -playoffs GP: 21 W: 13 L: 7 OTL: 1 GAA: 3.43 SO: 1 SV%: 0.909

S73: GP: 54 W: 41 L: 10 OTL: 2 GAA: 2.59 SO: 7 SV%: 0.918
  -playoffs GP: 17 W: 10 L: 7 OTL: 0 GAA: 2.87 SO: 1 SV%: 0.914

S74: GP: 48 W: 27 L: 16 OTL: 3 GAA: 3.42 SO: 2 SV%: 0.900
  -playoffs GP: 24 W: 16 L: 6 OTL: 2 GAA: 3.08 SO: 1 SV%: 0.913

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Awards/Nominations/Honours (SMJHL):

S59 Esa Anrikkanen Trophy - Best Rookie(nominated)

S59 Cedric Robinson Trophy - Best Goalie(nominated)

S59 All-Rookie Team

S60 All-Star Team West

S60 Cedric Robinson Trophy - Best Goalie(nominated)

WJC S60 Peter Larson Award - Best Goalie(Won)

S61 All-Star Team Pacific

S61 Four Star Cup

S61 Cedric Robinson Trophy - Best Goalie(nominated)

S61 Brodie Witzel Trophy - Playoffs MVP(Won)

S61 All-Star First Team

WJC S61 Peter Larson Award - Best Goalie(Won)

WJC S61 Bronze Medal

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Awards/Nominations/Honours (SHL):

S62 Ryan Jesster award - Best Rookie(nominated)

S62 SHL All-Rookie Team

S63 Anton Razov Trophy - Playoff MVP(nominated)

S65 President's Trophy - Regular Season Champions(LAP)

S65 Challenge Cup Champion (LAP)

S65 Anton Razov Trophy - Playoff MVP(Won)

S69 SHL All-Star Team East

S69 John McBride Award - Best Goalie(nominated)

S70 SHL All-Star Team East

S70 Challenge Cup Champion (NEW)

S70 John McBride Award - Best Goalie(nominated)

S70 Anton Razov Trophy - Playoff MVP(Won)

S70 IIHF Gold Medal (Germany)

S71 John McBride Award - Best Goalie(nominated)

S71 IIHF Best Goalie(Won)

S72 SHL All-Star Team East

S72 IIHF Best Goalie(Nominated)

S72 IIHF Gold Medal (Germany)

S73 SHL All-Star Team East
S73 SHL First All-Star Team

S73 Mike Honcho Trophy(Least Goals Allowed)

S73 John McBride Award - Best Goalie(Won)

S73 IIHF Best Goalie(Won)

S74 Challenge Cup Champion (NEW)

S74 Anton Razov Trophy - Playoff MVP(Nominated)

S75 IIHF Best Goalie(Won)

Two time playoffs MVP and two time nominee

Triple gold club

Discord: asska

All SHL ice is going to be replaced by apple-grape juice from a ridiculously large amount of little juice boxes, and those who say these little juice boxes are only for lunches can go to heck.

The ice being skated on will no longer just be boring old H2O. No no no, not for our stars. We want something flashy, something with pizazz, something that will really get things looking grate. We will now be using CO2. Dry Ice will be taking our blades, and we will look like majestic gods floating through the clouds on the floor.

   

Jeff Goldblum || Maine Timber || D || S73 ||

___________________TRANSACTIONS__________________

S72 SMJHL Draft 14OA Maine Timber

Former Player

Sean Gatez || Calgary Dragons || D || S57 ||
Height: 6'-4"

Weight: 220LBS

_________________ACCOLADES_________________

Timber Alexander Roach Award (Timber MVP) S59

Timber Dominic Montgomery Award(Best Defenseman) S59

Timber Captain S58 S59

Timber Alternate Captain S57
Timber Dash-Sondergard Award (Best Rookie S57

S56 WJC Silver Medal

S65 Challenge Cup

S69 Bojo Biscuit Award

___________________TRANSACTIONS__________________
S56 SMJHL Draft 18OA Maine Timber

S57 SHL Draft 3OA LA Panthers

S66 Trade to Manhattan

S70 Trade to Hammilton

S70 Trade to Edmonton

S70 Trade to Calgary

/ Player Profile / Player Update Page /

All SHL ice arenas will have their ice replaced by beer. When it melts after games, players will have the coldest beer around and no reason to ever leave the rink.

Word Count: 31

 

Beau Kavanagh | Goaltender | Great Falls Grizzlies

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

BIRTHPLACE: Kilkenny, Ireland

HEIGHT: 6'4

WEIGHT: 205 lbs

JERSEY NUMBER: 29

PLAYER TYPE: Hybrid Goalie

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

SMJHL Career Regular Season Statistics

Cillian Kavanagh | Goaltender | Texas Renegades | S51-S70 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

BIRTHPLACE: Limerick, Ireland

HEIGHT: 6'4

WEIGHT: 205 lbs

JERSEY NUMBER: 30

PLAYER TYPE: Hybrid Goalie

PEAK TPE: 2084

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

SMJHL Career Regular Season Statistics

KEL S51: GP: 5, W: 1, L: 2, OTL: 1, SAVE %: .840, GAA: 4.30

KEL S52: GP 20, W: 8, L: 8, OTL: 2, SAVE %: .897, GAA: 2.97

KEL S53: GP: 44, W: 27, L: 14, OTL: 3, SAVE %: .906, GAA: 2.43

KEL S54: GP: 39, W: 22, L: 11, OTL: 6, SAVE %: .915, GAA: 2.14

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

SHL Career Regular Season Statistics

SFP S55: GP: 50, W: 15, L: 32, OTL: 2, SAVE %: .901, GAA: 4.06

SFP S56: GP: 32, W: 4, L: 22, OTL: 1, SAVE %: 9.16, GAA: 4.79

TEX S57: GP: 37, W: 23, L: 13, OTL: 0, SAVE %: 9.26, GAA: 2.36

TEX S58: GP: 37, W: 30, L: 6, OTL: 0, SAVE %: .914, GAA: 2.17

TEX S59: GP: 42, W: 30, L: 10, OTL: 2, SAVE %: .923, GAA: 2.16

TEX S60: GP: 54, W: 32, L: 19, OTL: 3, SAVE %: .914, GAA: 2.57

TEX S61: GP: 54, W: 39, L: 14, OTL: 1, SAVE %: .911, GAA: 2.56

TEX S62: GP: 54, W: 38, L: 10, OTL: 5, SAVE %: .914, GAA: 2.36

TEX S63: GP: 54, W: 38, L: 14, OTL: 2, SAVE %: .924, GAA: 1.92

TEX S64: GP: 54, W: 35, L: 12, OTL: 7, SAVE %: .911, GAA: 2.64

TEX S65: GP: 58, W: 16, L: 34, OTL: 5, SAVE %: .911, GAA: 3.94

TEX S66: GP: 53, W: 17, L: 30, OTL: 5, SAVE %: .900, GAA: 3.92

TEX S67: GP: 54, W: 11, L: 37, OTL: 2, SAVE %: .887, GAA: 4.62

TEX S68: GP: 49, W: 11, L: 35, OTL: 3, SAVE %: .887, GAA: 4.87

TEX S69: GP: 29, W: 6, L: 14, OTL: 0, SAVE %: .892, GAA: 4.54

TEX S70: GP: 26, W: 9, L: 8, OTL: 1, SAVE %: .916, GAA: 4.71

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Transactions

S51 - Signed by the Kelowna Knights for $3M ($2M HO Bonus)

S52 - Drafted 22nd Overall by the San Francisco Pride in the SHL Entry Draft

S52 - Signed 1 Year, $2.5M with the San Francisco Pride

S53 - Signed 2 Year $4M (S55 $2M) with the San Francisco Pride

S57 - Signed 3 Year, $4M a Year, with the Texas Renegades

S60 - Signed 3 Year, $6M a Year, with the Texas Renegades

S63 - Signed 1 Year, $6M with the Texas Renegades

S64 - Signed 2 Year, $5M a Year, with the Texas Renegades

S66 - Signed 2 Year, $5M a Year, with the Texas Renegades

S68 - Signed 1 Year, $4M a Year, with the Texas Renegades

S69 - Signed 1 Year, $3M a Year, with the Texas Renegades

S70 - Signed 1 Year, $3M a Year, with the Texas Renegades

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Awards & Honors

S51 - Silver Medal at the WJC as Team Sweden's Starting Goaltender

S53 - Finalist for Tom Corcoran Trophy for SMJHL's Best Goaltender

S54 - Recipient of Tom Corcoran Trophy for SMJHL's Best Goaltender

S54 - All-SMJHL Team (1st Team)

S57 - SHL 2nd Team All-Star Participant

S59 - SHL Western Conference All-Star Team Participant

S59 - Texas Renegades, Challenge Cup Champions

S59 - IIHF Bronze Medal, Team Norway

S59 - Finalist for John McBride Award for SHL's Best Goaltender

S59 - Recipient of Anton Razov Award for SHL Playoff MVP

S59 - Recipient of the Mike Honcho Award for Lowest Goal Against Average

S59 - SHL 3rd Team All-Star Participant

S60 - SHL All-Star Participant

S60 - Recipient of the Mike Honcho Award for Lowest Goal Against Average

S61 - IIHF Best Goaltender, Team Norway

S62 - Texas Renegades, Challenge Cup Champions

S62 - Recipient of Anton Razov Award for SHL Playoff MVP

S63 - Recipient of the Mike Honcho Award for Lowest Goal Against Average

S63 - Finalist for John McBride Award for SHL's Best Goaltender

S63 - SHL 2nd Team All-Star Participant

Charlie Conway | Center | Colorado Mammoths | S26-S30

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

BIRTHPLACE: St. Paul, Minnesota

HEIGHT: 5'11

WEIGHT: 200 lbs

JERSEY NUMBER: 96

PLAYER TYPE: Playmaker

POSITION: Center

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Awards & Honors

S25 - Drafted 4th Round, 32nd Overall by the Colorado Mammoths

S26 - Named Assistant Captain of the Colorado Mammoths

S26 - Colorado Mammoths, Four Star Cup Champions

 

Coming soon! Kraken bath water ice! Do you like your ice rinks to smell of sweat and squid? Well I have the solution for you. Kraken Bath water. It reeks just as much as it sounds. After a trial run late last march, both teams couldn't handle the stench so the game was postponed. It is great for kids too!!

Pass Forfeit (D) ● Player Profile


Special thanks to Blitz, jhockey, Ragnarr, and sulo for the gorgeous sigs <3

Pass Forfeit || D || Los Angeles Panthers || S65 || 2101 TPE Peak
Name: Pass Forfeit
Number: 37
------------------------------------------------------------
Transactions
S64| Drafted 16th overall to the Carolina Kraken
S65| Drafted 1st overall to the Manhattan Rage
S69| Traded to Los Angeles Panthers in a 3 way trade for a bag of pucks
------------------------------------------------------------
Awards
3x Damien Littleton Trophy - SHL's Most Dedicated User
1x Harvey Danger Trophy - WJC's Best Defenseman (S65)
3x SHL All Star (S71, S73, S74)


Nicolaj Muller || LW || Retired || S47 || 1526 TPE Peak
Name: Nicolaj Muller
Height: 6'7"
Weight: 280 lbs
Number: 81
------------------------------------------------------------
Career Season Statistics
S46 - St Louis Scarecrows | 14 GP | 4 G | 0 A | 4 P | 2 PIM | +/-: 1
S47 - St Louis Scarecrows | 50 GP | 21 G | 20 A | 41 P | 4 PIM | +/-: 22
S48 - St Louis Scarecrows | 50 GP | 24 G | 37 A | 61 P | 12 PIM | +/-: 27
S49 - St Louis Scarecrows | 50 GP | 25 G | 31 A | 56 P | 31 PIM | +/-: 21
------------------------------------------------------------
Career Playoff Statistics
S46 - St Louis Scarecrows | 19 GP | 1 G | 2 A | 3 P | 6 PIM | +/-: -1
S47 - St Louis Scarecrows | 13 GP | 2 G | 1 A | 3 P | 4 PIM | +/-: -4
S48 - St Louis Scarecrows | 5 GP | 3 G | 6 A | 9 P | 2 PIM | +/-: 5
S49 - St Louis Scarecrows | 13 GP | 5 G | 8 A | 13 P | 8 PIM | +/-: -1
------------------------------------------------------------
Transactions
S46 | Signed to St. Louis Scarecrows for $3m
S47 | Selected 22nd Overall by the Buffalo Stampede
------------------------------------------------------------
Notable Events
S46 | Won 4 Star Cup with St Louis Scarecrows
S48 | Named Captain of the St Louis Scarecrows
S48 | Won Challenge Cup with the Buffalo Stampede
S48 | Won Silver Medal with DACH in the WJC
S49 | Won Gold Medal with DACH in the WJC
------------------------------------------------------------
Awards
1x Vyacheslav Onoprienko Award - SMJHL's Most Underrated Player
1x Zach Miller Trophy - SMJHL's Most Dedicated Player
1x Raymond Lindsay Trophy - SMJHL MVP awarded by Players
2x Jared Hanson Trophy - SMJHL Scoring Champ
2x Ideen Fallah Trophy - SMJHL Regular Season MVP
1x Damien Littleton Trophy - SHL's Most Dedicated User


Michael Fischer || RW || Retired || S39 || 404 TPE Peak
Name:Michael Fischer
Height: 5'10"
Weight: 183 lbs
Number: 28
------------------------------------------------------------
Career Season Statistics
S38 - St Louis Scarecrows | 50 GP | 1 G | 0 A | 1 P | 8 PIM | +/-: -19
S39 - St Louis Scarecrows | 50 GP | 14 G | 11 A | 25 P | 12 PIM | +/-: 8
S40 - St Louis Scarecrows | 50 GP | 7 G | 29 A | 36 P | 26 PIM | +/-: 14
S41 - St Louis Scarecrows | 50 GP | 21 G | 22 A | 43 P | 24 PIM | +/-: 15
S42 - Kelowna Knights | 50 GP | 11 G | 23 A | 34 P | 42 PIM | +/-: 1
S46 - San Francisco Pride | 10 GP | 2 G | 0 A | 2 P | 5 PIM | +/-: 1
------------------------------------------------------------
Career Playoff Statistics
S38 - St Louis Scarecrows | 10 GP | 1 G | 1 A | 2 P | 4 PIM | +/-: -1
S39 - St Louis Scarecrows | 13 GP | 3 G | 8 A | 11 P | 4 PIM | +/-: 1
S40 - St Louis Scarecrows | 5 GP | 0 G | 0 A | 0 P | 0 PIM | +/-: -2
S41 - St Louis Scarecrows | 4 GP | 1 G | 2 A | 3 P | 2 PIM | +/-: -3
S42 - Kelowna Knights | 10 GP | 2 G | 3 A | 5 P | 2 PIM | +/-: 6
------------------------------------------------------------
Transactions
S38 | Drafted 27th overall to the St Louis Scarecrows
S39 | Drafted 27th overall to the Calgary Dragons
S42 | Traded to the Kelowna Knights
S43-S45 | Free Agent
S46 | Picked up by San Francisco Pride
S46 | Retired
------------------------------------------------------------
Notable Events
S38 | Won WJC Gold with Team Mercenaries
S39 | Won 4 Star Cup with St Louis Scarecrows
S39 | Won Jarkko Kallestrom Award - Playoff MVP
S41 | Won Marian Potoczny Award - Best Two Way Forward
S42 | Won 4 Star Cup with Kelowna Knights

The SHL should replace the ice with the tears of the fans who are forced to watch the crap we serve up on the ice on a night to night basis.

 Winnipeg Aurora 

Duncan Mackenzie || RW || Winnipeg Aurora

Height: 6'2"

Weight: 225 lbs

Number: 29

Born: Vancouver, Canada

---------------------------------------

SMJHL Draft: 29OA by Kelowna Knights

SHL Draft: 18OA by Calgary Dragons

Traded: S71 Trade Dealine to Baltimore for S72 BAP 1st, S74 BAP 2nd, and Tommy Tightpants

---------------------------------------

Career Stats

***SMJHL Regular Season***

S60: GP:66 | G:6 | A:11 | P:17 | +\-: -35 | PIM:18 | H:94

S61: GP:66 | G:23 | A:33 | P:56 | +\-: 7 | PIM:20 | H:97

S62: GP:66 | G:17 | A:32 | P:49 | +\-: -5 | PIM:22 | H:94

S63: GP:66 | G:17 | A:30 | P:47 | +\-: 22 | PIM:12 | H:107

Total: GP:264 | G:63 | A:106 | P:169 | +\-: -11 | PIM:72 | H:392

***SMJHL Playoffs***

S60: GP:4 | G:0 | A:0 | P:0 | +\-: -6 | PIM:0 | H:14

S61: GP:8 | G:3 | A:2 | P:5 | +\-: -1 | PIM:0 | H:15

S62: GP:8 | G:3 | A:2 | P:5 | +\-: 2 | PIM:2 | H:16

S63: GP:18 | G:3 | A:9 | P:12 | +\-: -3 | PIM:5 | H:19

Total: GP:38 | G:9 | A:13 | P:22 | +\-: -8 | PIM:7 | H:64

***SHL Regular Season***

S64: GP:66| G:17 | A:10 | P:27 | +\-: -28 | PIM:29 | H:124

S65: GP:66| G:22 | A:24 | P:46 | +\-: -49 | PIM:62*(5) | H:161*(T-1)

S66: GP:66| G:25 | A:45 | P:70 | +\-: -20 | PIM:28 | H:113

S67: GP:66| G:50* (4) | A:44 | P:94 | +\-: 28 | PIM:20 | H:111

S68: GP:66| G:26 | A:47 | P:73 | +\-: 9 | PIM:36 | H:122

S69: GP66| G:30 | A:49 | P:79 | +\-:8  | PIM:24 | H:124

S70: GP66| G:26 | A:59 | P:85 | +\-:5  | PIM:30 | H:107

S71: GP65| G:26 | A:49 | P:75 | +\-:-35  | PIM:44 | H:124

***SHL Playoffs***

S66: GP:5| G:2 | A:0 | P:2 | +\-: -5 | PIM:2 | H:7

S67: GP:12 | G:11 | A:6 | P:17 | +\-: 7 | PIM:2 | H:24

S68: GP:11 | G:3 | A:4 | P:7 | +\-: 2 | PIM:0 | H:15

S69: GP:4 | G:0 | A:2 | P:2 | +\-: -5 | PIM:0 | H:11

S70: GP:9 | G:2 | A:3 | P:5 | +\-: -2 | PIM:2 | H:15

***WJC***

S60: GP:13 | G:5 | A:0 | P:5 | +\-: 0 | PIM:2 | H:23

S61: GP:13 | G:4 | A:4 | P:8 | +\-: 0 | PIM:2 | H:19

S62: GP:14 | G:3 | A:0 | P:3 | +\-: 0 | PIM:4 | H:29

S63: GP:14 | G:9 | A:4 | P:13 | +\-: 1 | PIM:2 | H:37

Total: GP:54 | G:21| A:8 | P:29 | +\-: 1 | PIM:10 | H:108

***IIHF***

S62: GP:12 | G:0 | A:0 | P:0 | +\-: 0 | PIM:4 | H:7

S63: GP:13 | G:2 | A:5 | P:7 | +\-: -1 | PIM:6 | H:25

S64: GP:12 | G:3 | A:2 | P:5 | +\-: 0 | PIM:6 | H:19

S65: GP:12 | G:1 | A:3 | P:4 | +\-: -5  | PIM:10 | H:20

S66: GP:13 | G:3 | A:6 | P:9 | +\-: 2 | PIM:8 | H:14

S67: GP:12 | G:2 | A:5 | P:7 | +\-: -2 | PIM:2 | H:23

S68: GP:14 | G:4 | A:6 | P:10 | +\-: 5 | PIM:0 | H:33

S69: GP:12 | G:5 | A:5 | P:10 | +\-: -6 | PIM:4 | H:21

S70: GP:12 | G:9 | A:6 | P:15 | +\-: 6 | PIM:4 | H:24

In order to capitalize on this new trend, Quebec City began replacing their ice with syrup for slushie mixes, but quickly decided to change back when they realized their starting goaltender was getting distracted and making snow cones with the ice shavings in his crease.

sig credit: Ragnar, Sulovilen, Enigmatic, Bayley
  

Why play on water when you can play on POWERTHIRST. AN ENERGY DRINK FOR MEN. MENERGY. NATURE WILL BE LIKE SLOW DOWN AND YOULL BE LIKE FUCK YOU AND SKATE DOWN THE ICE WITH YOUR ENERGY LEGS. POWERTHIRST WILL MAKE YOU AHHHHHHH HOCKEY AHHHHHHHHHH.

Jennifer Huh | RW | KEL
Achievements
S74: Signed as a DFA with Regina
S75: Drafted 3 OA by Kelowna
S75: Named Assistant Captain of Kelowna
S76: Drafted 6 OA by Calgary
S76: Named Captain of Kelowna


Slavakov Vladimirashenko | RD | NL/EDM/SFP/CHI
Achievements
S58: Drafted 47OA to Newfoundland
S59: Drafted 16OA to Edmonton
S59: Named Assistant Captain of Newfoundland
S59: Elias Armia Award Winner
S59: Won Gold Medal with Japan
S60: Won Gold Medal with Japan
S60: Named Captain of Newfoundland
S60: Named to SMJHL All Star Game
S60: Won 4 Star Cup
S62: Called up to EDM
S64: Traded to SFP
S65: Awarded Pride of the Pride
S65: Named Assistant Captain of SFP
S68: Awarded Pride of the Pride
S68: Named Captain of SFP
S69: Traded to Chicago
S69: Traded to SFP; Named Ass Cap
S70: Awarded Pride of the Pride
S73: Signed with CHI in FA
S74: Retired





Thank you @xjoverax and @phoenix for the sigs!

Clearly the best choice to replace any and all ice used in the SHL is with Nacho Cheese. Need some more cheese on your chips? Just hold your plate out as the Zamboni drives by!

Sig credits: OrbitingDeath & enigmatic

Deth Klaw || Defenseman || Anchorage Armada/Montreal Patriotes || 350 TPE




Miguel Hefeweizen || SPF/WPG (retired) || S58-75 || 2077 Peak TPE

Being that they have recently partnered with Gatorade it makes sense to replace water with Gatorade because it is better then water in every way so it should serve as a better playing surface to.

some high fibre sigs are Powered by AllBran, 

Player Page

Retired |  RD  | Nathan Thomas  | S55
Career J stats: |  MET  
197 GP | 24 G | 45 A | 69 PTS | 
Career stats: |  SFP/PHI  
660 GP | 102 G | 229 A | 331 PTS | 835 H | 1067 blk | 200 PIM 

C  | Cale Salad  | S68 |

S68 |  4 Star Cup