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Choosing Sides
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[1054 words, ready for grading]

OOC: Sophie's S74 story, delayed due to RL but enjoy!

Life was good for Sophie Bordeleau. The Calgary Dragons rebuild was seemingly on schedule, with several rookies in Cheeks Klapanen, Arthur Kaliyev, Jaden Tanner, Crystal McLeod and Sunrise van de Schubbekutteveen all coming up to join the big club this season. The team was looking to make it back into the playoffs after a few seasons on the outside looking in, and for Sophie this motivation was particularly big. Not many players played this long in the SHL without postseason action, and while she had the surprise of the best two-way player award as a feather in her cap it would ultimately pale in relation to team success.

That euphoria made it until roughly two weeks into the season. The Dragons had a brutal opening schedule, going 0-8-1 before finally getting their first win of the season, meaning they were behind the 8-ball for the playoff race immediately. It was up to the team's veterans in Sophie, Tom Pedersen, Chad Nickelback and Hank Stopper to help right the ship, but there ended up being a coaching change. The old coach's tactics had just seemingly grown stale, and the team was looking for a change, so a new voice was brought in to get things moving.

The team got better under the new coach, and Sophie's play flourished under the new, more offensively oriented tactics. The team was playing on one of the better paces in the league, but at home things were becoming more difficult. Taylor was finally able to access the physical and mental health care that she hadn't been able to have before and was feeling a lot better now that her dysphoria was finally being addressed, but being in eighth grade was difficult enough already before the mental load of transitioning and the political climate wasn't helping either. Being on the road was tough for parenting, and Zoom was a poor substitute, but it was something they were working on figuring out together as a family.

Despite the poor start, things seemed to be looking up. On top of being the team's first-line centre, Sophie was taking an increasing role with leading team practices and mentoring the rookies, giving them the support on how to play on the biggest stage of hockey in the world. She remembered the support she'd had when she'd first entered the SMJHL straight out of high school, and wanted to pay that forward. Away from the rink, she was trying to be more active around the house. While in years past she would have shown up for every optional skate she could and spent as much time as was healthy in the gym, now she was learning to balance her roles as a team leader on the ice and as a wife and mother away from it, and sometimes helping Taylor with a big homework assignment was what was needed in the moment.

---

The Dragons finished the season three and a half games out of the playoffs, and Sophie was torn. Her seventh season in the big league without any playoff action stung after having gotten so close to that championship in the SMJHL on so many occasions, but the team had improved their wins or points every single season since the new general manager had taken over four years ago and the Dragons had responded well to the new coach's tactics after they had taken over running the squad midseason. More pressingly, she could tell that being away from home so much was wearing on Jamie and Taylor. She could understand why, there had been many sleepless nights where she wondered if she was doing something wrong by continuing to play pro hockey, but it hadn't seemed to affect her on-ice play yet. Sophie had gotten 38 goals and 93 points this season, both career highs, and finally getting through that 30-goal barrier that had vexed her for so previously was a big win. She was becoming a more well-rounded centre every year, improving in her penalty-killing strength and excelling as a two-way centre, though she didn't expect to be, and wasn't, in the race for any awards this time.

"I'm not sure what I should do," she admitted in her end-of-season meeting with Ellie Williams. "I want to see this rebuild through so badly and help the Dragons back to contention, but things have been tough at home with my kid having complex needs and I know me being on the road so much is draining for them."

Ellie nodded. "I can definitely see why that would be stressful. You've been a wonderful piece of our organization for the last five years and we would of course love to have what you bring to our locker room mentoring these young players, but I completely understand when family needs to come first. Do you know how you want to play this?"

Sophie thought for a second. "I'm not totally sure yet. I think I might have to take the next season and see how things go at home, but retiring has been on my mind as a possibility. I don't want to leave the team in the lurch with my role here, but can't pour from an empty cup, you know."

The next few weeks were the toughest. Sophie reached out to some people she knew around the league who had young children while playing, wanting to know how they did it and if there was anything she could do to make things easier on her family while still doing what she needed to for her team. The IIHF tournament was at least in Riga this year, so she'd get to play in front of her "home" fans from her adoptive home country, but her heart didn't seem to be much in it and the team struggled to another group stage elimination. Going back home for her summer break, she wanted to spend as much time as possible with her family to make up the time she'd lost over the season, which was no way to live. Could she realistically do 5-10 more years of this and continue to choose one or the other? She didn't even seem to know anymore, but she didn't know how much longer she had to make that choice.

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