When the superstars of the world came together in 1985 to form USA For Africa and record/perform "We Are the World" for charity, they were not lacking in name recognition. From Stevie Wonder to Tina Turner, Bruce Springsteen to Billy Joel and everyone in between, it was venerable smorgasboard of talent. And while it would be a fun exercise to cast all of these talents into a hockey line-up (definitely storing that idea away for another time), that isn't the point of this particular write-up. 

Unfortunately for Team World, when choosing their roster they don't have the ability to pick and choose the best players on the planet. Rather, they're more akin to the stray dog who waits for the scraps in the back alley. However, don't let that fool you into thinking that Team World is bereft of talent. Looking at how they finished in last year's tournament might suggest otherwise since they finished last out of the 10 teams. There is reason for optimism this time around though as they're set to return some savvy veterans who look to take charge and make amends for last years disastrous outing. Think of them as the celebrities they put in the front row, the big names that every one wants to see. 

So without further ado.....


Benji Hockiwi [C]
Birthplace: Wellington, New Zealand
S75 SMJHL Stats: 18-31-49 [Maine Timber]
S74 WJC Stats: 4-4-8
Applied TPE: 323
With a last name like Hockiwi, he was destined to strap on the skates. His 4 goals tied him for 2nd on Team World last year, while his 8 points ranked him third. TW will be hoping he can build on, if not duplicate those numbers again this time around.

Jack "Jumpshot" Keigan [LW]
Birthplace: Melbourne, Australia
S75 SMJHL Stats: 23-25-48 [Carolina Kraken]
S74 WJC Stats: 1-2-3
Applied TPE: 350
Jumpshot? Hopefully this nickname is tongue in cheek and Team World hasn't drafted somebody from the Boomers. The former Melbs resident hammered home 23 goals after an 8 goal output the year prior. Look for a similar boost to his numbers at the WJC.

Luma Lee [C]
Birthplace: Penang, Malaysia
S75 SMJHL Stats: 13-25-38 [Detroit Falcons]
S74 WJC Stats: 4-7-11
Applied TPE: 340
“There's no escape. The only hope is the sweet relief of death.”
If you've seen the Super Mario Bros movie (I haven't) then you might remember that quote. Team World needs that confidence from Lee and for them to instill that fear in their opponents. Otherwise, there will be no escaping the bottom of the standings again

Sad Ketchup [LW]
Birthplace: KetchupTown
S75 SMJHL Stats: 31-55-86 [Newfoundland Berserkers]
S74 WJC Stats: 2-5-7
Applied TPE: 425
While not a breakout per se, after 3 solid seasons of 70+ points with the Berserkers, Ketchup cracked the 80 point threshold for the first time and got back over 30 goals for the 2nd time. Playing in his 4th WJC, the team will look to him for his versatility and veteran leadership.

Shawn Pawn [LW]
Birthplace: City
S75 SMJHL Stats: 40-37-77 [Quebec City Citadelles]
S74 WJC Stats: 8-6-14
Applied TPE: 425
Playing on the offensive juggernauts that are the Citadelles, Pawn saw a huge surge in his own stats and eclipsed his previous goal totals with 40 this season (35 in the previous two years combined).  He led all Team World skaters in goals and points a year ago. This year could see him atop the leaderboard for the entire tourney.

Jimothee Penjiman [RD]
Birthplace: Emerald, Australia
S75 SMJHL Stats: 12-21-33 [Detroit Falcons]
S74 WJC Stats: 2-8-10
Applied TPE: 425
Ay 6'7" and 285lbs, Penjiman is an absolute specimen. Team World's defensive group will look (up) to him to be the leader from the backend.

Journey Man [RD]
Birthplace: Sovereign Citizen, World
S75 SMJHL Stats: 5-9-14 [Vancouver Whalers]
S74 WJC Stats: 1-8-9
Applied TPE: 350
Born and raised in South Detroi.....wait. I was really hoping that with a name like "Journey Man" he was just a huge fan of the band. When I noticed his render was Mike Sillinger, I got the reference. No matter. We won't let that stop us from believin' in him.


Kal Akar Kekkonen [RD]
Birthplace: The Wilderness, Gielinor
S75 SMJHL Stats: 8-22-30 [Detroit Falcons]
S74 WJC Stats: 1-2-3
Applied TPE: 350
If he's good enough to roam the Wildy, he's good enough to patrol the blue line for Team World. A solid showing with the Falcons this year. The team is excited to see what he can do in his second go round at the WJC.

Vincent van Gogh [RD]
Birthplace: Amsterdam, The Netherlands
S75 SMJHL Stats: 6-21-27
S74 WJC Stats: 1-4-5
Applied TPE: 350
"But I could have told you, Vincent
This world was never meant for one
As beautiful as you"
(If you're unfamiliar, check out the song "Vincent" by Don McLean. Or if you're "edgy", the more uptempo NoFx version).
Team World was meant for you though, Vincent. Paint, you beautiful bastard.


(Applied TPE at time of publishing)