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Ashes · 04-03-2025, 02:55 AM

The draft's coming up, and I'm incredibly hyped to find out where I'll start my SHL career. Before we get to that point though, I figured it’d be fun to do one of these things where I rate each team’s branding. Hopefully I don’t roast whoever ends up picking me too hard, and if I do... hey, I'm always down to help with ideas for a re-brand.

Here are the categories I’ll be rating each team on. Remember, all of these are my opinions!

Location - I’ve only actually been to Manhattan out of these, so this is just fully going off of, like, my basic knowledge about the place, the vibe I get from it and how much I think I would enjoy living there. As a general rule, cold (especially snowy) weather, good food and being a large city will get you bonus points with me, natural disasters and car dependent city planning will lose you points.

Name - Some teams have cool names that fit nicely with the location, some not so much.

Color scheme - I am mildly colorblind, so this’ll be a fun one. That said, I think I can still tell what looks good and what doesn’t.

Logo - Again, pretty clear on what this category is. As a ground rule, I hate logos with big wordmarks in them. Text in a logo will get you minus points if I don’t feel like it’s done tastefully (I. E. it doesn’t add anything of value to the logo, or even actively makes the logo worse). I'm also a big fan of more "traditional" shaped sports logos, like shields. If it looks like it could be the logo of a Bundesliga club that was founded in like 1882 and hasn't changed their logo since, I'm in.

Also, just gonna reiterate this, my ratings do NOT reflect how much I want to be drafted by each team. If I give a team's branding a 1/10, that does not mean "please don't draft me", it just means "please rebrand".

EASTERN CONFERENCE

Inferno

Atlanta Inferno Inferno

Location - 4/10

One thing you’ll learn quickly about me is that I don’t like hot weather at all. If the thermometer is showing over 20 degrees C I'm not feeling it. Anyway, Atlanta is HOT. I mean, a daily mean of over 27C in the middle of the summer? Fuck that - and I know it’s not even the hottest city here, it's far from the only one that will lose big points for this. Any kind of hot weather like that pretty much guarantees a city cannot be above, like, a 5 on my scale unless it’s truly exceptional. That said, I know Atlanta has some pretty neat things going for it as a city, and I’ve heard the food there is good, which bumps it up slightly for me.

Name - 8/10

I’m guessing it’s a reference to the Burning of Atlanta during the Civil War, similarly to the Atlanta Flames. I dig it, it’s a cool name with historical relevance to the city.

Color scheme - 7/10

I mean, with a name like Inferno, what are you gonna do for a color scheme if not the colors of fire? Nothing revolutionary here, but a tried and tested color palette that is obviously going to work well.

Logo - 6/10

The first of many wordmarks in logos, this is one of the better ones though - I think the text does help shape the logo nicely into somewhat of a shield shape (which, as I said, I'm a fan of - it just feels classy) and I like the flames coming off of the I and O. It’s a decent logo.

Overall - 7/10

Platoon

Baltimore Platoon Platoon

Location - 6.5/10

I’ve heard Baltimore’s a dangerous city, and when we’re talking dangerous by US standards I can’t imagine that’s a shining endorsement for actually living there. That said, I also know people generally tend to overexaggerate their fears of crime when it comes to cities, and I’ve not been there myself. I’ve heard some pretty neat things about it as well - apparently it’s quite walkable by North American standards (which would be my single most important factor if I were actually choosing a city to live in IRL) and it’s got some neat history, plus the weather is better than Atlanta.

Name - 5/10

I know this is a team that was previously relocated and the name wasn’t changed - and quite frankly, I don’t know if there’s any connection with Baltimore and the military (I assume that’s what Platoon is referencing?), though I know it’s a city that’s close to the capital so I’d imagine there’s something there? Without deeper knowledge, the name is just okay. I like that the abbreviation is BAP, it’s fun to say.

Color scheme - 9/10

Pretty much any form of blue-red-white just works, and as a Latvian, I always appreciate some nice maroon/crimson/carmine red so that gets them some bonus points, especially since it differentiates it a bit from a normal blue-red-white.

Logo - 8/10

The bald eagle is a cool bird (at least a cool looking one), and as I mentioned before I like shield-type sports logos. They’re the one type of logo where I really don’t mind text as well, so no minus points for the big BALTIMORE PLATOON.

Overall - 8/10

Buffalo Stampede

Location - 5/10

The weather isn’t a problem for me, I just haven’t heard anything particularly nice about Buffalo. Buffalo wings, I guess? I don’t really like those, though, I don’t like blue cheese dip or whatever you call the orange buffalo wing sauce. I’ve heard the city has a pretty great hockey culture though, that earns it a point or two.

Name - 7/10

I can only assume it’s a pun on the name of the city. It’s a decent one, has some threatening aura, but nothing exceptional in this regard.

Color scheme - 2/10

I just don’t like green and gold. I don’t think it looks particularly good when Australian sports teams use it, I don’t think it works well here either. It’s just not a combo that I like, and I don’t see how it relates to the rest of the team’s branding either.

Logo - 7/10

I mean, it’s basically everything I said about the Platoon logo, except a slightly less cool animal (I like birds). It just loses a point because of that and because of the colors, really. It’s a solid logo.

Overall - 5.5/10

Hamilton Steelhawks

Location - 3/10

Yeah out of all the places here this is the one I know the least about. No disrespect, but there’s several SMJHL cities that feel like they should be in Hamilton’s place. This just does not seem like a very notable city in any matter. Hamiltonites, please tell me about your city, I wanna know about what happens there.

Name - 6.5/10

Apparently Hamilton was known for steel manufacturing. That said, what the fuck is a Steelhawk? That sounds like it’s just a word they made up. I mean, it sounds cool, so I’ll still give it a decent score.

Color scheme - 10/10

I liked their colors already before the rebrand. Now though, with the switch to the powder blue and adding the gold into the mix, I LOVE them. Powder blue is a semi-unique choice for a primary colour - certainly more creative than the darker blue they had before - and I really like how it contrasts with the midnight blue they use as a highlight color. The gold and cream play really nicely with the blues as well, I feel like the gold really “pops” if that makes sense. A very well put together color palette.

Logo - 10/10

I had a whole thing written about their logo and how I hated the wordmark and it was a 4/10, and then they went ahead and changed it and now it’s fucking excellent. The bird itself, with all of its sharp points and edges, feels like it fits the “Steelhawks” branding a lot more than the previous one did. Just looks a lot cooler IMO. The awful wordmark is gone now - as established, I think the writing works fine in circle logos like this. This is a fantastic logo.

Overall - 9/10

Rage

Manhattan Rage Rage

Location - 10/10

New York City is the only SHL city I’ve been to, and I fucking loved it. I know, it’s loud, it’s dirty, it’s packed, but I love that shit. I love big cities, ones that feel as alive as New York does. It really just has so much personality, such good food as well, you can find anything you want there. The public transport, though definitely not without its issues, also works very well. It really felt like a city where I could live - and if I had to live in the USA, I’d want it to be in New York.

Name - 2/10

This is where you lose me. I don’t know, maybe there’s history behind the name? But it just feels.. lame. I’m not feeling this one, at all.

Color Scheme - 6/10

Red, black, white. Simple, classic. Not my favorite, but it gets the job done.

Logo - 7.5/10

I assume it’s a nod to the Charging Bull statue, which is cool, I like the semi-hidden M as well. A strong logo.

Overall - 6/10

Montreal Patriotes

Location - 10.5/10

If NYC would be my city of choice for living in the USA, Montreal would be my pick for Canada (which is why it’s the only location I’ve rated above a 10). It’s got some excellent urbanism for North American standards, an amazing hockey culture, and from what I’ve heard it’s just generally the most European feeling (so, for me, that would mean “least unfamiliar”) major city in North America. Plus, it’s got an F1 track, and I love me some F1.

Name - 9/10

Normally this would be somewhat of a boring name, but the frenchiness of it makes it work somehow. I can't explain it, but I like it.

Color Scheme - 10/10

Again, I’m a sucker for maroon - but what I did not expect was that I would like it so much combined with yellow. It’s a creative color scheme, and I like that a lot.

Logo - 9/10

This is a logo with a lot of charm. The beanie (toque, I think Canadians call it?), the moustache with the pipe, the fleur-de-lis for that Quebecois touch, it’s got a lot going for it.

Overall - 10/10

New England Wolfpack

Location - 9/10

Boston seems like another city with a lot of charm. Plus, it’s another city that seems very liveable without a car. I like it, wouldn’t mind living there too much.

Name - 5.5/10

Not sure if there’s local history behind this one. Just seems like a decent name, I guess.

Color Scheme - 7.5/10

Green is a color that you see a bit less with sports teams, and when it’s not comboed with yellow I don’t mind it at all. This is alright.

Logo - 1/10

The wordmark just absolutely kills this one for me, because I can see that they have an alternate logo that’s practically the same just without the wordmark and it’s SO MUCH BETTER. Why not just make that your main logo? Come on. It's not actually a 1/10, but I'm rating it that low on principle because come on, the better option is right there...

Overall - 6/10

Forge

Philadelphia Forge Forge

Location - 7.5/10

Generally, the further north a city is, the higher I’ll tend to rate it. That’s just the climate and the vibe that I like, you know? Plus the older cities in North America tend to be the ones that are the best to live in without a car. Philadelphia fits right into that category, as far as I’m aware.

Name - 4/10

I know Pittsburgh has a whole thing with steel, I guess Philly must as well? Idk, the name Forge just doesn’t do much for me as a team name. Just feels a bit boring somehow.

Color Scheme - 7.5/10

It’s pretty much the same as Atlanta, with pretty much the same explanation behind it as well, and as such it shall receive the same score. Except, half an extra point because orange as a primary color is more interesting than red.

Logo - 9/10

This is one that I like a lot. The Forge name ties in really well here, with the P shaped hammer, and the shield logo works especially well for a team with such a name. This one is strong.

Overall - 6.5/10

Tampa Bay Barracuda

Location - 1/10

I just know I would hate it here, I’m sorry. Hot, humid, car-centric, no, no, no, no, no.

Name - 2/10

Barracuda are just kinda… goofy looking, IMO. I know they’re predators and all, and they’ve got sharp teeth, but this is not at all intimidating or powerful as a team identity to me.

Color Scheme - 1.5/10

For anything other than a sports team, this color scheme would be way higher. But it’s just so god damn goofy. If I was on the enemy team I’d think this was some beer league kit.

Logo - 1/10

The color scheme and the goofy look of the barracuda as a fish does not do this logo any favors either, and it’s got one hell of a wordmark crime to top it all off. I’m sorry, TBB, this is just a perfect symphony of everything that absolutely does not work for me when it comes to team branding.

Overall - 1/10

Stars

Toronto North Stars Stars

Location - 9/10

Once more I must say, “I like big, cold cities where I can live without a car”. Doesn’t get much bigger than Toronto in the SHL, certainly not in Canada.

Name - 8/10

It’s a simple name that I think works really nicely. I think it was a good name for Minnesota’s NHL team, and I think it’s a good name for Toronto’s SHL team.

Color Scheme - 9/10

Can’t go wrong with blue and white. It’s a classic for a reason.

Logo - 9/10

Hey it’s the big tower thing! (CN tower, yes I know what it’s called). I like the detail of the logo being shaped like a compass with the tower’s needle pointing North, suits the whole theme very well. Overall this branding feels very well put together.

Overall - 8.5/10

WESTERN CONFERENCE

Dragons

Calgary Dragons Dragons

Location - 7/10

Calgary’s pretty close to some beautiful nature afaik, that gets it a bump up - but it doesn’t have quite the appeal to me that some of the other Canadian cities do.

Name - 1/10

What da hell is a polar bear dragon doin in Arlington Texas Calgary, Alberta

No but seriously, what? Why dragons? What does this have to do with Calgary? I don’t get it, is there context I’m missing or is it just “dragons are cool”.

Color Scheme - 6/10

Same colors as Manhattan, same logic behind the same score.

Logo - 3/10

I mean, it’s a dragon. And again, why the wordmark? I can understand that they’re the Dragons because the logo is a dragon, you do not need to tell me that they’re the Dragons.

Overall - 2.5/10

Chicago Syndicate

Location - 9/10

Once again, a city that feels like it’s got a lot of personality, one that I could see myself living in.

Name - 7/10

Decent name with local ties - nothing that’ll make me go “wow so cool!” but solid and respectable.

Color Scheme - 8/10

Bruins colors are a classic for a reason. They work, they just do. I respect it.

Logo - 3/10

Ok this is entirely just me being an asshole but I swear to god I can’t stop thinking it looks like a road sign warning you that there’s angry dudes with fedoras ahead. I can't take it seriously. Also, something something wordmark, though this one doesn’t feel as egregious for some reason.

Overall - 7/10

Edmonton Blizzard

Location - 6.5/10

Basically the same story as with Calgary, except it doesn’t have the cool nature as close if I remember correctly, so it loses a little bit of its score there.

Name - 6.5/10

Edmonton is cold and snowy, it makes sense, but it won’t be getting any “wow so neat and creative” points from me.

Color Scheme - 9.5/10

The gold highlights do a LOT for me here. They play really nicely with the light blue, in my opinion.

Logo - 6/10

WHY THE WORDMARK OH MY FUCK- It’s a decent logo otherwise, looks pretty cool.

Overall - 7/10

Los Angeles Panthers

Location - 4/10

This might be a bit of a controversial rating? But if there’s two things I don’t fuck with, it’s heat and it’s earthquakes, and LA has a whole lot of both. Plus, just the vibe of the whole place doesn’t seem like it would suit me, and also the car dependency is another minus. I know there’s some real good food here, though, that earns it a couple points.

Name - 5/10

I know California has cougars (which I think are the same as panthers?), is that why the team is called that? Feels like not much of a connection to the area. Maybe there’s context I’m missing.

Color Scheme - 10/10

These colors fuck. Teal and orange is a goated combination. Not much more to say here, it’s just an excellent color palette.

Logo - 6/10

I mean, come on, I know the Minnesota Wild have a really good logo, was this level of imitation really necessary? It’s just too much. I mean, still a good logo, though.

Overall - 7.5/10

Minnesota Monarchs

Location - 8/10

Minnesota seems like a nice place, they seem like they’ve got things well and sorted. Some of the food I’ve seen come out of there (and that whole region of the US, really) looks… interesting, but I’d be willing to give it a shot, it could be good. Plus, good local hockey culture!

Name - 10/10

I know they started out as the Chiefs, I can only assume this branding is a way of evolving past that while keeping a bit of an homage to it with the whole “leader of a group of people” naming theme - and I think that’s really fucking cool, and I LOVE that they’ve gone down the butterfly route with their branding.

Color Scheme - 7.5/10

Again, green’s a decent color. It’s not my favorite, but I’ll take it. I like the little hint of royal purple in there too - I think there’s some association with Minnesota and that color as well?

Logo - 10/10

Love, love, love the butterfly thing. Love it. And it’s a shield, and you know I like sports teams with shield logos.

Overall - 8.5/10

New Orleans Specters

Location - 3/10

Again, the weather, ugh. Especially in the case of New Orleans, it doesn’t seem like a city where I’d feel comfortable settling down, with climate change, the hurricanes… That said, it’s not a 1/10 because I’ve heard the food here is absolutely kickass.

Name - 6/10

No idea what the relation is between NOLA and ghosts of any kind, but it’s a decent name for a sports team.

Color Scheme - 10/10

Neon purple? Absolutely fucking yes. Holy shit yes. Give it to me. Tampa, this is how you do interesting, vibrant colors without looking tacky. This is just badass.

Logo - 9.5/10

I’m docking .5 for what I once again feel is an entirely unnecessary wordmark. Only half a point though, because it does at least add some nice color contrast into the logo - the white plays nicely with it, IMO. Other than that, this is great, I love the use of the fleur-de-lis here.

Overall - 8/10

pride

San Francisco Pride pride

Location - 6/10

To me, SF does just seem like a nicer version of LA - a milder climate as far as I understand (though still hot for my liking, which loses it several points), very good food, much more walkable. Earthquakes still scare me though.

Name - 8.5/10

IDK if it’s just about “ooh lions cool” or if it’s also relating to San Francisco being famously very gay - but I’m all for it. It works well.

Color Scheme - 8/10

Purple and gold is just another one that you really can’t fuck up. It’s a royal color scheme for a team with a royal sounding name and a royal animal as its mascot. It’s just good.

Logo - 8/10

It would have been so easy to ruin this very solid logo with a wordmark and just the fact that they didn’t do that earns them bonus points in my book.

Overall - 8/10

Seattle Argonauts

Location - 8/10

Once again, the further north we go, the more I vibe with it. Seattle seems like a cool place with the kind of weather I can live in nicely (though afaik it’s not all that snowy, which is a shame). It does lose points to, once again, the earthquake thing.

Name - 9/10

IDK what relation Argonauts in particular have with Seattle, but I know it’s a very water-y city with a lot of ships and stuff, so there’s at least a distant connection that’s clear to me there. Greek mythology is fucking badass though and naming your team after Greek mythological heroes is pretty god damn cool. I’d be hyped as hell to be called an Argonaut.

Color Scheme - 8/10

Yep, I still like blue a lot, that hasn’t changed! The gold is a great accent color, especially with the greek myth being about going to find the Golden Fleece.

Logo - 7/10

Cool ship, and for some reason the wordmark actually works here? Don’t ask me why, it just does.

Overall - 8/10

Texas Renegades

Location - 1.5/10

Nah. Just does not seem at all like a place that I would want to live.

Name - 6/10

Cool sports name, feels fitting for Texas somehow. It’s alright.

Color Scheme - 8/10

It’s black, silver and white. Again, you cannot make this look bad. Personally it would be a 10/10 if it was pure black and white because I just love that clean color combo, but even with the silver it’s still just really good.

Logo - 3/10

This is where you lose me again - it looks like a generic esports team logo or like a logo from an EA sports game. Plus, ugly wordmark. I like the hockey sticks, though!

Overall - 4/10

Aurora

Winnipeg Aurora Aurora

Location - 5.5/10

Winnipeg gets a lot of shit but it doesn’t seem that bad to me tbh? I mean there’s certainly more appealing cities in Canada and the US, but Winnipeg seems like it’d still be pretty alright. Maybe a bit on the smaller end, but still.

Name - 5/10

It’s a pretty name, and one that ties in well with Winnipeg being far north and all, but not much of a sports team name.

Color Scheme - 8/10

I really like the shades of green they use.

Logo - 5/10

Again, this doesn’t really feel like sports team branding. Feels more like some apparel brand or beauty product. It’s a nice logo, though, just maybe not for a hockey team?

Overall - 5/10

In conclusion, Montreal is definitely my favorite, with Hamilton, Toronto, Seattle, San Francisco, New Orleans and Minnesota also ranking high on my list. Tampa Bay is easily my least favorite branding (again, that doesn’t mean I don’t want to be drafted there, it just means if they do pick me (even after reading all of this..) I will be campaigning in the locker room for a rebranding from the moment I arrive) and I’m not a fan of Texas or Calgary either. That said, I gotta say, the SHL as a whole has some pretty good team branding, in my opinion. Some unique color combos, some neat logos, some cool name choices. Some of these honestly feel like they could be brand identities for real professional sports teams - I mean, some of these logos and especially color choices are straight up better than those used by the actual NHL teams in these cities. For something that’s entirely a passion project for a bunch of hockey nerds, it’s some damn good work - and even my least favorites are still 1000% better than anything I could ever do and I can tell there’s been plenty of genuine effort and passion put into every single one of them. I'm very impressed by all of these. Excited to see the expansion team branding as well - y'all can expect a short follow-up article to this when all of those are announced.

4100ish words, i think?

***Vandy*** · 04-03-2025, 05:49 AM

Bruh...

:(

Ashes · 04-03-2025, 07:40 AM

04-03-2025, 05:49 AMVandy Wrote: Bruh...

:(

hey, by latvian school system standards a 5.5 is still a passing grade by a pretty good margin

***JKortesi81*** · 04-03-2025, 12:30 PM

"Name - 6/10

No idea what the relation is between NOLA and ghosts of any kind, but it’s a decent name for a sports team."

Allow me to give you a quick little explanation:

New Orleans is arguably the most haunted city in America. Despite having a really fun atmosphere, complete with the jazz and the cool art everywhere, (and you nailed the fantastic food), there's a lot of really interesting voodoo stuff, and a LOT of haunted landmarks. Ghost tours are a big thing there as well.

And now you know! haha. Good read.

***Vandy*** · 04-03-2025, 12:34 PM

04-03-2025, 07:40 AMAshes Wrote: hey, by latvian school system standards a 5.5 is still a passing grade by a pretty good margin

I guess we still stan Ratvia here <3

Ashes · 04-03-2025, 12:41 PM

04-03-2025, 12:30 PMJKortesi81 Wrote: "Name - 6/10

No idea what the relation is between NOLA and ghosts of any kind, but it’s a decent name for a sports team."

Allow me to give you a quick little explanation:

New Orleans is arguably the most haunted city in America. Despite having a really fun atmosphere, complete with the jazz and the cool art everywhere, (and you nailed the fantastic food), there's a lot of really interesting voodoo stuff, and a LOT of haunted landmarks. Ghost tours are a big thing there as well.

And now you know! haha. Good read.