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Jaggs 2nd annual 1st round review [x2 SHL Draft]
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Jagg102Registered Member
04-13-2025, 03:41 PM
(This post was last modified: 04-13-2025, 03:45 PM by Jagg102. Edited 1 time in total.)
This mega media will exist purely so that @ThePyroAlpaca cant forbid me from doing things, and as im chaotic good allegedly i will listen to his wishes and earn money in the quickest way possible, creating a giant post about the now passed SHL draft, and my own personal experience with it
Thank you to pyro for giving me the only thing that motivates me to do anything ever, spite LEADING OFF WITH THE SHL DRAFT PICK ONE, Toronto Tmoney6996 aka Thomas Passarelli I think everyone who even slightly paid attention to this draft would have figured out this guy was gonna be a top tier pick, at a minimum top 3, and theres a damn good reason, hes been on the site since january 30th, this is a 2025 baby ladies and gents, and he already has 30m in the bank, a days worth of time on the site, and has been the heartbeat of the vancouver locker room since he showed up, posts damn near daily, is on top of everything in every way possible, i think there was a good few that couldve gone with this 1st overall pick, and this man is sure as shit one of those contenders, well earned pick, hes already gm-ing a wjc team as well, its clear the kid (i have no idea if this is a grown man or not, ive been hear longer, so ur a child) wants to be a main stay long term, and giving him the 1oa mean you see the value in keeping that man hostage in the TOR LR as long as humanly possible GGs mr tmoney PICK TWO, Texas Toaster AKA Toivo Jokinen This guy right here is just as bonkers as Tmoney, maybe even slightly more impressive, i mean at somepoint the amount of zeros in your bank account is simply to flex on other gms or HO members (ask luke) it also shows your proficiency and willingness to dump hours upon hours of free time into a fake hockey site that your fictional character resides in, we all exist in this eco-system, we all know that this can be one of the most addictive hobbies on the planet and honestly alot of the time all you have to show for it is the amount of zeros on a fake hockey bank account, and my god he has just as many zeros as tmoney does, but 17m more dollars to his name, which proves two things simultaneously. One, the SHL economy is either entirely gigantically inflated and we secretly are involved in trading the equivalent of monopoly money for steroids i mean training, or this is the wealthiest business to exist ever and they feel like giving us huge paychecks is good for brand image. Two it shows that this man has thrown ALOT of time at this site since hes got here, THREE FULL DAYS OF TIME, 74 FULL HOURS this man has spent on this site, in just over 2 months, thats roughly an hour a day just on the forum, the dudes a freak, my beat is this is a 3000 tpe player, idk how hell do it but my god itll happen, wtf is this guy on, i need him drug tested, or atleast make sure hes getting up to pee once in a while, hot damn, but not only did the renegades end up with this stud, they also got PICK THREE, Texas Prayl07 aka Patrick Rail Holy mother of god, this guy is nuts too, who tf let in the navy seals, these three are all insanely active and whats crazier, this guys is THE MOST ACTIVE, combine the time of the previous two picks on the site, and wow youre STILL SHORT, he has just over 2 months on the site, and he has OVER 100 HOURS of FORUM TIME, for reference, im considered pretty active, just finished my 2nd season in the js, i have a total of 27 hours of forum time, i have ONE FOURTH what this guy has, granted i mostly spend my time on the index and portal and discord, so the forum tracker isnt going to be the most active thing, but consider this, this guy has 4x my forum time, in half the amount of time on the site as a whole, which means hes likely incredibly active on all other aspects of the league as well, and only slightly less money than toaster, just under 2m short at the time of writing this, the armada have an absolutely stunning prospect in pray, And this had to have been a no brainer for the renegades, i bet they thought this kid would easily be gone by their pick, and yet here he is, spending his developmental years in alaska, then a blazing hot curveball straight to big everything land, Texas in the span of two picks just became a huge powerhouse in about 5 seasons, mark today as the day texas cemented their spot as a competitor in about a year and some months time PICK FOUR, Hamilton RLG91 Aka Ryan Dino-Nugget Hopkins This one makes sense aswell, from pure stats, he is the lowest so far when it comes to bank account and time on site, however that doesnt mean hes a slouch at all, as a guy thats been in my teams LR for a few days, hes one of the most active by far, plu he gets bonus points for having the best name in the entire draft, what a beautiful name, Mrs hopkins loved this child so much he was named after her favorite food, and as a professional chicken nugget connoisseur, i can safely safe this kid is a great representation of the food, solid from all aspects, hes been here since early january, 16 hours on site, 9.5m in the bank, so while hes certainly not a freak of nature like the three previous draft picks, the kids clearly got the interest, and honestly myself id feel most comfortable taking a guy like this, partially cuz i relate to him, clearly hes got a life outside the sim, and chooses to spend the time he has on the site, a good balance of activities means the user is FAR more likely to end up staying for a long period of time than someone who spends ONE HUNDRED HOURS IN TWO MONTHS omfg i cant get over that HOW DO YOU HAVE THAT KIND OF TIME, so even if RLG ends up having less time in the future to contribute to the league, hes found a way to be a big name despite not having thrown the hours at it like the others before him, sneaky good pick at 4, welcome to hamilton PICK FIVE, Toronto Dude_man Aka Gappy Hilmore Already at pick 5, we have 2 teams that have picked 2 times, and both teams have come out with some STUDS, and adding to the list is dude_man, hes most similar to the first overall pick, Tmoney, about a day and a half on the site, 34m checks notes oh wait nvm, this guy has been on the site since 2021 OH WAIT A SECOND doesnt this player, dude_man, he shows how absolutely UNFATHOMABLE the 3 first picks are, over the course of just under FOUR YEARS he has 1. Less money than them 2. Less time on the site than all three 3. LESS REP THAN ALL THREE like dude HOWWWWWWWWWWW this actually makes no sense, those first 3 picks are just freaks of nature or perhaps need to touch grass once in a while like mr dude-man here. Another great name added to the SHL, i can think of atleast one other name late on i personally like more, but i also really like ridiculous shenannigans more than most things on this planet, chaos is what i thrive on, and Gappy Hilmore is a beautifully chaotic name, but personally makes a little too much sense, Adam Sandler would be proud, but bring me the chaos PICK SIX, Montreal Visceralpotamus Aka Pasta the Turtle II Render: Pasta the Turtle with Juke toe as head and :savewhale: tattoo and makrus pelt PICK SEVEN, Montreal ColonelSaunders Aka Harland Sanders Im personally really confused by the fact that the username and player name are spelled differently, but I personally would much rather just point it out and then forget about it, because i like the chaos my goal is not to understand the chaos, so already i like this guy. The fifth new gen already through 7 picks, and honestly im running out of things to say about the high end of this class, its just nuts to see how many of these guys joined the league on February 4th and are already at or surpassing the 30m mark, have well over a day on the forum, its stunning to say the least, and i know all these guys likely come from affiliate leagues but holy shit dude this class is stacked, this guy in other draft classes couldve been considered the 1oa favorite or at the very very very least a top 3 pick for a team who desperately needs a spark in the lockerroom and he fell to 7th. My draft class barely holds a torch to this one, and we had SHL HO and Commies in there, these affiliate people are no joke, pick one up when theyre available and this damn active, theyre scaring me and frankly i feel extremely outdone in so many ways by this draft class, the dude currently sits at just shy of THREE DAYS ON THE SITE WHERE DO U GUYS FIND THIS TIME and share the time i want some of what hes having please, and 29m, HAHA I HAVE MORE MONEY its the small victories that count, and if u say im wrong ur calling my mom a liar PICK EIGHT, Baltimore Anywheresoundsnice AKA Johan Lodewyk Oh boy am i glad this isnt a podcast cuz i have no idea where to even start when pronouncing that last name, allegedly the guys south african so imma assume the name probably comes from somewhere in europe but i digress, i believe ive interacted with this guy here and there, i recognize the name of the user, im not sure exactly where ive interacted with him but again im getting in my own way for this project im making. The kids clearly active and doing well, just shy of 11 milly vanilly bands, however he is right around 30 hours on the site, so hes very very active, maybe just lacking in the media or job department compared to the others mentioned previously, but no slouch by any means, 8oa is always still a very very good user who will likely approach the 2000 tpe squad at somepoint, and i think this guy definitely has that potential, however with this guy i am curious what his name is referring to, is it something entirely innocent like he just likes existing, so anywhere sounds nice, or if its like food related and this guy is secretly a contender on my 600 pound life, cuz fucking same im just hungry lets go eat, or if its a dirty joke like anywhere sounds nice  or if its like in a fucked up joker context like OUH BATMAN you think i wont MOON YOU right HERE do you?? Hehehe ADMIRE IT BATMAN MY CHEEKS ARE NICE AND ROUND IN THE MIDDLE OF CENTRAL PARK, like idk, this user name alone has made my day better so thank you for that. BAP is a great landing spot for rookies going forward, Rookyi, o1, z0rem, this kids in some great company with some great users, and im sure theres plenty more i dont know, well done wallyPICK NINE, Mini soda Theevilisback AKA Greg Evil (the edge is strong with this one) I originally read this username as Thee vilis back as if its in some fake latin or some shit, which i personally chuckle at every single time i see this, bros trying to be shakespear i guess, but this guys very clearly another good top 10 pick, u can tell i didnt do much research for my top 10 mock if i only got 50% correct, a guy with 20m in the bank is clearly doing something right, only 14 ish hours on the site but i really cant knock him for that especially when he has 20m, hes likely a heavily favored discord user for the league, which if that is the case, if this guy is as active as i think he might be, he is what minnesota desperately needs at this exact moment in time, someone who livens up the locker room, i love eddie, i love waters, i think theyre both excellent people, and will hopefully get this monarch vessel turned in the right direction sooner than later, but theyve been searching for a locker room igniter for some time now, and maybe they found it in Cynewulf here. Minnesota had the 1oa pick this draft and the previous draft as well, theyre deep and i mean DEEP in the rebuild, and im too lazy to find the trade details atm, however this pick was involved in their trade down from 1oa, i think they saw that they dont need extremely high value users, and just need very very active locker room contributors, and for now they need more than just one guy. After checking this users recent posts, hes mostly been doing chirper and the casino, which fuck yeah i like this guy, i chirp then spin my slots WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO GAMBLING can we add blackjack but i get to use my card pack cards for hands and lose money all at the same time please PICK TEN, Texas Bluedog25123 AKA Oskar Svenguard Rounding out the top 10, is another new create, which im not gonna check, im just gonna wing it, im not here to be 100% accurate, im here for my shl money and me going on this little mini rant gives me more card packs, but i believe that rounds us out at 2 recreates and the rest are new-gens, which from what i understand isnt necessarily uncommon, however i do think it shows the commitment these SHL gms have to getting new blood in their locker room hoping it sparks something long term, but onto this user in particular, Bluedog isnt a part of that huge rush from other leagues that happened on feb 4th, he joined 2 days later on the 6th, which makes me think this guy might just be a nice fresh user without cross over, but again im not an investigator, im a columnist, so my job is to sit here and type and be sparkly and entertaining, whats a fact? This man has 13m in the bank and 29 hours on the site, ive said it 10 times now, he deserves to be drafted this high, fresh meat tends to be amazing for a locker room, and texas found a great 3rd user to go with this amazing class theyve had already, these are texas’s mainstays for the foreseeable future, watch out for that. The draft streams, especially SMJHL, like to put on display what the user says about themselves when it comes to fun facts, but id like to add my own fun fact. This fucker made his render a BENGAL TIGER, and MF BENGAL TIGER, no other specifications, on the draft stream, the render they showed was A BENGAL TIGER WITH A HOCKEY STICK and his Js team logo basically stamped on the side, this render is just absolutely stunning, im sure ill see it quite often over the next couple years and be just as amused the 100th time as i was during the fucking draft stream, just makes me happy other users wanna be unique and come up with ridiculous shit for the amusement of themselves and others, and guys like Bluedog are exactly the type you want in the room, great pick from texas PICK ELEVEN, Hemeltôn HoodratRoyalty AKA Rawbie Gardner AKA Jaggs Pookie Bear NO IM NOT EMBARASSING >:( Seeing as i was the main proponent for why this pick happened and why we didnt go in a separate direction, i feel entirely responsible for this fucking amazing pick of a phenomenal user at 11, i dont even need to know his bank or hours on the site, because i fucking love this man, hes my d pairing in the js, he always hops in with some dad jokes and sometimes goes beyond that, Hoodrat is a fucking wonderful user that any locker room would be delighted to have, he not the lifeblood user like a JamesT or Hetaksh, but goddamnit i know when the time comes for this player to be moved to hamilton, he will be one of the best users in a stacked locker room, he writes fun media, he always has a joke, and tbh i was so loud about picking this guy because hes just a good person, he has a life, im pretty sure he has kids, this is a hobby, as it should be, he takes the time when he can to step in and be a ray of sunshine for everyone around him, and of any locker room, the one that needs a down to earth kindness, its hamilton, Hoodrat is mature when he needs to be, is fun otherwise, always down to clown around, and has quickly become a wonderful part of why i interact with this server as often as i do, without someone like Hoodrat in the LR, kelowna wouldnt turn into complete and utter chaos, but ill say, Rookyi, Jay and myself might absolutely run rampant constantly, and PyroAlpaca already has to deal with me enough alone i can only imagine if it was essentially glorified day care, pyro would have no hair by the time his kid graduates elementary school. If i had to choose one user on the entire site thats made me feel good and been a joy to be around, this man is high high high on that list, and i will back him in this space no matter what happens, amazing amazing person, cant wait to see what his first player does, hopefully in hamilton all the way with myself Holy shit that got sappy, imma take a shower to wash all this cute shit off brb PICK TWELVE, Philly Sobrien6187 AKA Yoshinobu Ishii This user is the first that seems like a pretty average user, and the first that i truly dont recognize the username, i mean clearly the guys pretty active, hes already reached his max teeps for year 2, but 7 hours of site time and around 10m, this is your run of the mill part of the active users IMO, typically (in my very very short time here) these guys are pretty safe bets, theyre active on occasion in the LR, theyre gonna max earn or be pretty close to max earning, its a pretty safe bet theyll atleast make it through the Js, and atleast through their first players career atleast a decent little chunk, if hes not a top end user his player will be a great depth player in the SHL on a competitive team. Two of the previous draft picks are the guys that have up-voted this users forum account, as of late mostly chirper and replies on some forum posts, shit he might be more active than me lmfao, but i think this user is a great pick up at this point, looking down the list, theres other users i personally know a little better, especially the next pick, but i honestly just dont have too much to say here, hes clearly liked amongst his rookie class, hes clearly liked, very solid user, just not a freak of nature like some of the previous guys, which is perfectly fine, and probably better for his life to not be obsessive over fake hockey, like myself or beavie, but will be around for a long time PICK THIRTEEN AHHHHHHH BAD NUMBER, Seattle LilGainz901 AKA Krish Gainz Gainz is a great great user, hes not the most active in the LR, but hes kind, clearly the kids wicked smart, look at his media youll see what i mean, and who knows, he might become wayyyy more active as time marches on, but if not, this is one of those pops in here and there to hang out in the LR, very kind, very respectful, 12.5 mil in the bank, 21.5 hours on the forum, i love gainz personally, and im sure most of you recognize him from his mega media, hes gonna be a good user, part of me worries his activity might slip at some point, but at the same time i dont think hes inactive, i think hes just more of a lurker type, also clearly he just spends hours on hours in the gym, hop in a voice call with him i dare you, he definitely sounds like a greek god or something, and on top of that he is so fucking ripped he has gainz in the name, his pecks are likely the size of olympus, but in all seriousness, this fella is a bit of a mystery, i dont know if i know anything about him as a person, i know how he is in the kelowna lockerroom, hes a chill man, man ykwim but hes just gainz, hes cool, i like him, i hope he makes more cool media PICK FOURTEEN, Muney Sotey Mattebleu AKA… wait a fucking minute his name is SWIFFER SWEEPER Im honestly so upset right now that a player named Swiffer Sweepers render isnt just a plastic, selfwetting mop, but is mr clean instead, can you imagine the wonderful cards and and graphics we could get with a plastic mop at the player, could you imagine if HE WAS A GOALTENDER god im so upset rn, Matte if you somehow see this PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE change your render to a swiffer sweeper, i really really wanna collect swiffer sweeper cards please please please, in other news this is the least proficient of users thus far when it comes to money moos and time on the site, he has 8 hours on the site, and offseason training has absolutely torched his bank account, sitting at 35,000 currently, but Waters clearly knows something i dont for him, maybe the interview was amazing and this is one of those extremely active discord types, cuz i mean you dont need a huge bank to be a max earner and good LR member, obviously the dude has a sense of humor, and is willing to be goofy, so my instincts all point to vibes in LR guy, and im on board for that with minny, great pick, likely to be a solid user, i like the pick, and PLEASE SWIFFER BE A SWIFFER NOT A BALD MAN WITH AN EAR RING PLEAAAAAASE PICK FIFTEEN, BAP BAP BAP PEW PEW ProjectSaint AKA Chinweike H.I. Valentine-Okoli Oh look a recreate.. Oh look pre-covid.. Hell yeah i love the oldies, bros cool like that. Around 5 mil in the account, probably entirely from small medias and teeps and tasks and such, hes been around for a while so hes likely pretty good for a locker room, uses this as a social setting, Wally or other BAP higher ups probably have some sort of relation with this guy and know what hes there for, in his now over 6 years here he only has one down rep, sitting at 33 total rep over all this time, which means i already have more down reps, and ironically enough, my first down rep came from the same guy who gave saint his down rep, hhh81, very well known user on the site from my general understanding, HHH says on ProjectSainte’s rep page “-1 rep, boo you, whore” IM REALLY HOPING and also believe THESE TWO KNOW EACHOTHER, in a less dramatic vein, the dude is clearly liked, has some old head friends, and will continue to be one of those extremely consistent and predictable users, great addition to the high octane and probably less predictable rookie class from last season, bap is gearing up to be HELLA scary PICK SIXTEEN, Atlanta Goldenglutes AKA Bingankus Glunksplosion Ive heard alot about this user in the past i believe, the name looks extremely familiar, another old head, here since 2018, and ive been told this guy is primarily a forums guy, which likely explains why he has his time on the site hidden, because he spends an obscene amount of time on this site, the same way i do in the discords, the reason a guy with 82m and 6 years of site existence falls so far is likely entirely dependant on the discord aspect, but clearly so much more valuable in other ways, guaranteed max earner, forum posts and so on, i remember we had discussed drafting him in kelowna for the last js draft if he was there because he have the locker room we just need max earners and he ended up going just before we had an opportunity to pick him up, hes very much a known quantity, very much a you get what you pay for user, well deserved 1st rounder, and i hope he has friends in ATL on the forums for this guy PICK SEVENTEEN, Turuntuh Dewalt27 AKA Holeh Guacamole Fire name, once again im a little upset it isnt just like a bowl of guac with like a halo and angel wings or something dumb, im sure this is a joke beyond just the phrase holy guacamole, and i just dont understand but i love the ridiculous renders and would love to collect cards of mexican chip dip for the hell of it, 3 days of time on the site, 3m in the bank, another vibes guy i have to assume, hes been here since 2020, clearly active in some regard its just not the imma make media and farm fake currency for fun kind of active, the scouts in HAM really liked this guy, so hes likely a fun conversationalist, good for the vibes, like idk what else to day, i love vibes guys but theyre so confusing to me at this point, like does he max earn or is he just here to hang out and do some tasks like idk i cant grasp it with my little peanut brain PICK EIGHTEEN, muntree-all MN_Moosey AKA Kelly McMahon Ok wait heres a bit of a changeup, still a recreate, still a guy whos been here since 2020, but this guy has 30m banked, he has 1 week of time on the forum, decent little 15 rep, i never talked to most of these guys, i as a scout was a bit of a slacker when it came to ham so i dont know any of these names, but what does someone like Mattebleu (no offense) have over a guy like moosey, this guys clearly active, has been for a while, id assume a max earner or atleast close to a max earner. He has one down rep allllll the way back in 2020 for using white text on a white background, which i didnt realize what constituted loss of rep, rep is a whole other thing i am learning against my will from this league, but again i digress, im not sure what the difference is between guys like golden glutes and guys like moosey, i mean obviously theyre different people and they likely fit different locker rooms well and so on, and their banks are pretty different but beyond that theyre pretty similar users, and theyre likely to add something to the lockerroom in some capacity somewhere, cool pick yo PICK NINETEEN, hamster Sofiem964 AKA Dydney Frosby I dont think ive ever written out the word nineteen and im tripping balls right now, this is freaking me out, thats not a real word wtf. Another new gen, this one from our perspective in hamilton was essentially a no brainer, sofie is ochos other half at the moment, and why wouldnt you wanna bring in someones significant other if they werent trying to use the sim league as an excuse to hide away from them in the first place. Sofie is fucking chaotic as fuck, i love it, she refuses to be predicatable and refuses to not try and make every single scenario fun in some way or another, she really just enjoys being joyful and bringing that into everyone elses spaces, only 3m in the bank as a new gen but tbh i dont think it matters, she deserved to be a 1st round pick by any and all metrics purely because of her locker room activity, a huge addition to an already heavily active hamilton room, im sure her and i are gonna make everyone elses lives miserable for about 15 - 45 minutes a week and thats exactly what i hope happens, cuz aleks loves babysitting, and aleks is just super keen to be a drill sergeant obviously PICK TWENTY, Texas Ctots AKA Boone Breakaway His render is not even boone jenner, sadge, its mathieu olivier, double sadge, nice little find here right at the end of the first round from the renegades, 40m bank, looks like a first time recreate, very very solid numbers and stats from a user point of view, in just over 3 years on the site (omfg i almost said 2, what happened to 2024 bro) hes amassed 41m, and 6.5 ish days on the site, very active user, brand new player so you can expect some excitement out of them for some time in the future, another great addition to what will likely become texas’s golden group that is just an absolute stranglehold on the league for some time. Seems like a bit of a quiet forum user, a lurker if you will, only 3 rep in 3 years, hopefully this year he sees 4 to keep this steady growth going, texas has made an elite class out of this offseason, im excited to see it in the future, as long as they arent against HAM lol Thank you to everyone who read my 1st round ramblings, i really have enjoyed the two ive written, maybe this will become a consistent thing if i dont decide to forget lmfao WC:5110 <3 Edit cuz pyro said i hate him :rolling_eyes: lol ![[Image: jttEoMa.jpeg]](https://i.imgur.com/jttEoMa.jpeg)
Prayl07Registered Senior Member
Great write up! It did make me sad seeing how much time I have put in on this site. I promise I do other things in life lol!
[img=0x0]https://i.imgur.com/AdCjKA7.jpeg[/img]
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