READY TO BE GRADED
Big Manius here and I am excited to be moving up in the Simulation Hockey League and to my new home with the Winnipeg Jets. I will take any questions you may have. After a very quiet time in the SMJHL with the Detroit Falcons where I had stats such as: first in league in shot percentage; fifth in goals; third in defensemen scoring; seventh in penalty minutes; ninth in shots blocked; second in power play goals; third or tied for first in shorthanded goals; forth in game Tying Goals; ninth in Minutes Played; second in hat tricks; second or tied for first in total fights; third or tied for second in fights won. And oh I lead the Detroit Falcons in face off winning percentage as a defenseman. In this press conference I will address any topic you may have for me, including eating, sleeping, relaxation and oh yea hockey too. Please ask me anything.

Originally posted by Elyk+Jun 8 2015, 08:03 PM--><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1' id='QUOTE-WRAP'><tr><td>QUOTE (Elyk @ Jun 8 2015, 08:03 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->What are your expectations for the Jets and your player this upcoming season? [/b]

My expectations for the Jets is that I will not have to create a graphic about the Jets playing in a consolation playoff game next season. No seriously I would just like to make the playoffs and then go from there. We have a lot of young talent, I think we can make a real impact this season. We just need to play as a solid team and see where we end up.

Originally posted by Slappydoodle@Jun 9 2015, 07:26 AM<br />Do you shave your back before every game or only before the really special ones?

Contrary to popular belief I do not shave my back hair although sometimes it gets pulled out in fight and it appears that I have shaved it. As far as my back hair goes for special games, occasionally I will braid it. If it is a really special occasion I will dye the braids different colors. Leave it to Mc doodle asshole to waste my time on such questions.

Originally posted by Slappydoodle@Jun 9 2015, 07:26 AM<br />Is it true you originally took up hockey only after you found out you could get in fights without going to jail?

My lawyer has requested that I do not comment, but I will say it was a tough choice between hockey and boxing. No seriously I just love the game. Ever since I was a small loud mouth Long Islander. The speed and intensity of the game is what excites me. Golf and curling never excited me.

Originally posted by Slappydoodle@Jun 9 2015, 07:26 AM<br />Is the name Big Manious an attempt to compensate for (ahem) shortcomings elsewhere?

Ma and Paw Manius were not the most creative when it comes to names. Paw Manius looked and Ma’s nether regions post birth and stated Big, and the name took. It is not to be considered any type of compensation, I am that big. This seems funny coming from a douche like you whose name sounds like a pun on masturbation.

Originally posted by Slappydoodle@Jun 9 2015, 07:26 AM<br />Where do you see yourself slotting in with the Jets this season?

Where ever management puts me I am no ego maniac. I let my game speak for myself. I will just be happy with lots of minutes so I can show the league and the fans my talents. Any line is fine with me as long as I get minutes.

Originally posted by Slappydoodle@Jun 9 2015, 07:26 AM<br />Which would you rather do, score a goal or block a shot that you know was going in?

Block the shot, stopping the puck from getting to my goalie or the net is my job. I leave that job to the goal scores. Every player needs to play their own role. Although I love blasting a shot from the point.

Originally posted by Steelhead77@Jun 9 2015, 08:51 AM<br />How many turnbuckles do you plan on eating this season?

As many as management put on the bench for me to eat. And you prevent your follow douche my favorite are the blue ones. The white ones aren’t bad either though.

Originally posted by Steelhead77@Jun 9 2015, 08:51 AM<br /> Who would win in a match, you or Slappy McDoodle?

Pleassssseeee!!! Slappy would get slapped around. I would not want to humiliate him like that. I would prefer to watch him humiliate himself with bad questions and boring rants.

Originally posted by Steelhead77@Jun 9 2015, 08:51 AM<br /> Is it true that Slappy McDoodle's finishing move is the "small package" ?

Yes there is truth to that rumor, and I think it is his starting maneuver as well. But from what I have heard it is hard to tell the difference between the start and finish as it almost over before it begins. You could always ask his mom if you really wanted to find out.

Originally posted by Steelhead77@Jun 9 2015, 08:51 AM<br />How did it feel to win the Cup in Detroit this year?

It felt good after getting so close the prior two seasons. It was good way to leave the Falcons. It was a relief to some extent. It was good to get that monkey off our back. And by “our” I mean the Falcons organization.

Originally posted by Steelhead77@Jun 9 2015, 08:51 AM<br /> Do you think being developed by Detroit has prepared you for success in the SHL?

I believe my time in Detroit helped me by keeping me on my toes. I mean after I beat people up in games I would have to keep fighting after. Whether it was the hoodlums on the way to car, the hoodlums when stuck in traffic, the hoodlums you run it going for walk, the hoodlums you run it getting pizza, or well basically doing anything in Detroit you run in to hoodlums. That you will probably have to fight.

Originally posted by Steelhead77@Jun 9 2015, 08:51 AM<br /> How does it feel to be the only Detroit defenseman to ever score 20 goals?

I hope it stays for while at least. But it just feels good to have left my mark in Detroit. They were a great team to play for. I know I never really expressed in the locker room but I love those guys. Not in the way or in the manner the Slappy McDoodle loves teams or how Esa Anrikkanen expresses his love in the locker room. I am more interest to know it anyone else won the SMJHL championship while win two fights in the finals. Does anyone know?

Originally posted by Steelhead77@Jun 9 2015, 08:51 AM<br /> What would you say is the biggest strength of your game?

Shutting down “superstars” I think it is funny when they get angry. That and taking the shot from the point. I guess I like a good fight as well. I do not know it is hard to judge yourself.

Originally posted by Šatan@Jun 9 2015, 06:27 PM<br />Who on the Jets would be your ideal defensive partner this season?

Rembrandt Q. Einstein, I like playing with smart players. But like I said earlier I will be happy with whoever management wants to put me with. It would be nice to have some ice time with Žanis Zariņš as a little veteran advice never hurts. I just want to have good chemistry with whoever I play with.

Originally posted by Šatan@Jun 9 2015, 06:27 PM<br />What, in your opinion, is the Jets' biggest strength?

Goaltending, Lauris Prikulis is a stud. I would also say that Taylor McDavid and Emīls Vilmenietis make for some nice offense as well. But I believe one of our best strength it youth and with goaltending we have I hope we have a very strong season.

Originally posted by Šatan@Jun 9 2015, 06:27 PM<br />Any season predictions for your player?

I hate to predict but I will say lots of blocked shots and great defensive plays along with 10-20 goals. I want to develop in to a more complete player. I predict that this will be accomplished by playing with other great players and management.

Originally posted by Šatan@Jun 9 2015, 06:27 PM<br />With back-to-back Jesster trophy winners coming from Winnipeg, do you feel that there is a lot of pressure to perform as a rookie?

I try not to get too caught up in my head. You know there is not much there. Of course there is some pressure but I just try to ignore it and play my best. That is all I really can do. Well I also hope and pray for the best, hey it can’t hurt.

Originally posted by Šatan@Jun 9 2015, 06:27 PM<br />Anyone on this team or another that you have a rivalry with?

Slappy McDoodle, that guy is lame. Just look at his questions. Pathetic.

Originally posted by Šatan@Jun 9 2015, 06:27 PM<br />What is the key to winning in a very tight Western Conference?

Scoring more goals and allowing the least amount of goals then every other team. But we really need to focus on making the playoffs before thinking about winning the conference. I do not want to get ahead of ourselves and start talking about winning the conference.

Originally posted by Šatan@Jun 9 2015, 06:27 PM<br />Thoughts this years crop of Jets prospects?

I think the Jets prospects have great potential, I really like both Mitchell Dambach and Patrick Taylor and hope to be play with them in the near future along with Alex Mack. He is a stud. Oh I better get ready for more lame questions from McDoodle.

Originally posted by Šatan@Jun 9 2015, 06:27 PM<br />Favorite thing about playing in Winnipeg?

Nothing, I have not played in Winnipeg yet. I am sure that there will lots of things I will enjoy. We are a young team with plenty of upside. With Winnipeg being such a young team it will be nice to develop together and win.

Originally posted by Count Chocula@Jun 10 2015, 03:44 AM<br />What has it felt like playing for Norway this off season?

Playing for Norway has been a good experience. I just wish I had dipped into my bank sooner to help more in the games. Oslo has one hell of night life, just don’t get mixed up with the black metal crowd there they will have you burning up churches in no time. But seriously, the Norwegian people have been really good to me and the rest of the team. Especially the Norwegian broads, they know how to treat a hockey player. Not that Esa Anrikkanen would know anything about that.

Originally posted by Count Chocula@Jun 10 2015, 03:44 AM<br />What are your thoughts on the early retirement of Falcons team mate Knutsen?

It surprised me. I thought that he would be playing longer. I do not know what was going in life to cause his abrupt retirement. I can only assume that he must have his reasons. I never had anything against him and I wish him well.

Originally posted by Count Chocula@Jun 10 2015, 03:44 AM<br />Do you think you will win rookie of the year?

I do not know. I hope it is me and I am going to try like hell to win it. That never hurts when it is time to negotiate a new contract you know. There is a lot of talent out there it will be a challenge but I think I am up for it.

Originally posted by Slappydoodle@Jun 10 2015, 08:46 PM<br />Some follow up questions if you please, Mr. Manious.

Would you say Alex Mack is becoming your new Ms. Elizabeth? Does Mr. Mack need to worry about you throwing him over your shoulder and loping back to the locker room during a tense game?

I leave to Mcdoodle to come up with more bad questions. I would say that all the players on my team our my Elizabeths. As I will beat the living shit out of any player that I that fucks with them. I will fight for any member of a teams I do not play favorites. And two answer your second question. Your mother is the only is the only one that should be worried about being thrown over my shoulder and lopped back to the locker room. Although for her till would probably be with more excitement than worry. I would say that your significant other should worry as well but I do not want to take Esa to the locker room.

Originally posted by Slappydoodle@Jun 10 2015, 08:46 PM<br />Does your obvious jealousy of Slappy McDoodle stem from his having won a Four Star cup before you despite starting a season later, his good looks and skill with the ladies or is it simply a case of the shiny lights reflecting off of his championship ring straining your limited mental capacity much like a cat following a laser pointer?

Probably that he did win the cup before me and that he just such an annoying cry baby. He sounds like Lindros for crying out loud. As for his lady skills, what skills with ladies? The ability to be inside them without them knowing? I mean that is not a skill but more of a result of his poor genetics. As for the ring it can be detracting but I have now too.

<!--QuoteBegin-Slappydoodle@Jun 10 2015, 08:46 PM
Is it true that for a long time you thought Einstein's theory of relativity was an attempt to explain how the Brady Bunch kids were all related?[/quote]
No. Told you these would be bad. Next question please.


READY TO BE GRADED

Sigs by @FlappyGiraffe,  @Steelhead77,  @ToeDragon84, @slothfacekilla, @Wasty and other dude I need to find your name

Lil' Manius

Lil’ Manius | W | New Orleans| Retired 
Name: Lil' Manius
Height: 5’ 6”
Weight: 182
Number: 77
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Personal Awards and Records
S44 Challenge Cup Champion
S42 World Junior Championship Winner United States
S45 IIHF Silver Medal Winner United States
S48 IIHF Silver Medal Winner United States
S50 IIHF Gold Medal Winner United States
S51 IIHF Gold Medal Winner United States
S52 IIHF Bronze Medal Winner United States
S53 IIHF Gold Medal Winner United States
S48 1st All-Star Team
S52 Jeff Dar Trophy Nominee
S53 Jeff Dar Trophy Winner
S53 FHM MVP According to FHM or so they tell me
------------------------------------------------------------


Big Manius

Big Manius| D | Winnipeg | Retired
Name: Big Manius
Height: 6’ 9”
Weight: 265
Number: 7
------------------------------------------------------------
Personal Awards and Records
SHL Hall of Fame Player
Member of the Triple Gold Club
S37 Challenge Cup Champion
S25 Challenge Cup Champion
S42 IIHF Bronze Medal Winner Norway
S38 IIHF Silver Medal Winner Norway
S36 IIHF Silver Medal Winner Norway
S35 IIHF Gold Medal Winner Norway
S34 IIHF Bronze Medal Winner Norway
S33 IIHF Silver Medal Winner Norway
S31 IIHF Bronze Medal Winner Norway
S29 IIHF Silver Medal Winner Norway
S27 IIHF Top Defenseman
S33 2nd All-Star Team
S30 Turd Ferguson Award Winner
S30 League leader Fights Won
S26 Aidan Richen Trophy winner
S26 Scott Stevens Nominee
S26 2nd All-Star Team
S26 Tied for first in PP Goals
S23 Four Star Cup Champion
Falcons Modern Era: PIMS Leader - 96
Falcons Modern Era Leader: Power play Goals in a Season - 13
Falcons All Time Leaders: Defenseman Goals in a Season - 20
SMJHL S 22: Lead league in PIMs - 96
SMJHL S 23: Lead league in shot % - 22.73%
SMJHL S 22 Playoffs: Lead league in PIMs
SMJHL S 22 Playoffs:  Lead league in fights won
SMJHL S 23 Playoffs:  Lead league in fights won
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What are your expectations for the Jets and your player this upcoming season?

Do you shave your back before every game or only before the really special ones?

Is it true you originally took up hockey only after you found out you could get in fights without going to jail?

Is the name Big Manious an attempt to compensate for (ahem) shortcomings elsewhere?

Where do you see yourself slotting in with the Jets this season?

Which would you rather do, score a goal or block a shot that you know was going in?

How many turnbuckles do you plan on eating this season?

Who would win in a match, you or Slappy McDoodle?

Is it true that Slappy McDoodle's finishing move is the "small package" ?

How did it feel to win the Cup in Detroit this year?

Do you think being developed by Detroit has prepared you for success in the SHL?

How does it feel to be the only Detroit defenseman to ever score 20 goals?

What would you say is the biggest strength of your game?

---> ParmBorg Highlights <---



Esa Parmborg || Center || Calgary Dragons || S47 || TPE: 2000+
Name: Esa Parmborg
Age: 18
Height: 7'0"
Weight: 350 lbs
Number: 77
Born: Hella, Iceland
-----------------------
Transactions:
Drafted #1 Overall - Halifax Raiders - S46 SMJHL
Auto Drafted GM - Calgary Dragons - S47 SHL
-----------------------
Awards & Achievements:
S50 Challenge Cup Champion - Calgary Dragons
-----------------------
SHL Statistics:
S50: GP:50 | G:9 | A:8 | P:17 | -3 | PIM:13 | H:34 | PP:0 | SOG:70
-----------------------
SMJHL Statistics:
S46: GP:50 | G:6 | A:9 | P:15 | -8 | PIM:20 | H:44 | PP:0 | SOG:76
S47: GP:50 | G:12 | A:19 | P:31 | 0 | PIM:10 | H:71 | PP:6 | SOG:111
S48: GP:50 | G:21 | A:27 | P:48 | +10 | PIM:20 | H:19 | PP:13 | SOG:147
S49: GP:50 | G:19 | A:29 | P:48 | +18 | PIM:26 | H:48 | PP:13 | SOG:116
TOT: GP:200 | G:58 | A:84 | P:142 | +20 | PIM:86 | H:182 | PP:32 | SOG:450



[pbl]Esa Anrikkanen || C / LW || Calgary Dragons || S18 || 2008TPE
Esa Anrikkanen || C / LW || Calgary Dragons || S18 || 2008TPE
Age: 40
Height: 6'3"
Weight: 255 lbs
Number: 10
Born: Helsinki, Finland
------------------------------------------------------------
SHL Career Statistics:
S46: GP:50 | G:14 | A:10 | P:24 | -14 | PIM:21 | H:23 | PP:5 | SOG:126
S45: GP:50 | G:11 | A:13 | P:24 | -10 | PIM:10 | H:28 | PP:7 | SOG:162
S44: GP:50 | G:11 | A:10 | P:21 | -1 | PIM:10 | H:22 | PP:7 | SOG:115
S43: GP:50 | G:15 | A:17 | P:32 | -7 | PIM:2 | H:9 | PP:11 | SOG:137
S42: GP:50 | G:10 | A:20 | P:30 | 0 | PIM:0 | H:4 | PP:7 | SOG:128
S41: GP:50 | G:22 | A:16 | P:38 | +28 | PIM:7 | H:2 | PP:4 | SOG:123
S40: GP:50 | G:16 | A:12 | P:28 | -6 | PIM:18 | H:45 | PP:8 | SOG:118
S39: GP:50 | G:18 | A:14 | P:32 | +12 | PIM:0 | H:4 | PP:7 | SOG:187
S38: GP:50 | G:16 | A:11 | P:27 | -2 | PIM:4 | H:7 | PP:8 | SOG:143
S37: GP:50 | G:19 | A:22 | P:41 | +6 | PIM:4 | H:7 | PP:12 | SOG:224
S36: GP:50 | G:22 | A:21 | P:43 | +15 | PIM:4 | H:18 | PP:8 | SOG:201
S35: GP:50 | G:28 | A:26 | P:54 | +25 | PIM:0 | H:13 | PP:14 | SOG:205
S34: GP:50 | G:24 | A:22 | P:46 | +6 | PIM:52 | H:128 | PP:13 | SOG:208
S33: GP:50 | G:21 | A:16 | P:37 | -2 | PIM:28 | H:78 | PP:13 | SOG:207
S32: GP:50 | G:18 | A:16 | P:34 | -10 | PIM:27 | H:15 | PP:9 | SOG:164
S31: GP:50 | G:20 | A:25 | P:45 | +11 | PIM:48 | H:92 | PP:9 | SOG:198
S30: GP:50 | G:22 | A:33 | P:55 | +17 | PIM:64 | H:134 | PP:18 | SOG:232
S29: GP:50 | G:21 | A:32 | P:53 | +14 | PIM:75 | H:212 | PP:15 | SOG:239
S28: GP:50 | G:23 | A:25 | P:48 | +25 | PIM:60 | H:179 | PP:7 | SOG:205
S27: GP:50 | G:19 | A:18 | P:37 | +1 | PIM:68 | H:94 | PP:8 | SOG:135
S26: GP:50 | G:21 | A:21 | P:42 | +9 | PIM:54 | H:82 | PP:15 | SOG:200
S25: GP:50 | G:18 | A:27 | P:45 | +27 | PIM:42 | H:139 | PP:6 | SOG:154
S24: GP:52 | G:16 | A:18 | P:34 | -13 | PIM:48 | H:156 | PP:16 | SOG:153
S23: GP:52 | G:19 | A:30 | P:49 | +19 | PIM:104 | H:193 | PP:6 | SOG:162
S22: GP:52 | G:17 | A:25 | P:42 | -9 | PIM:26 | H:116 | PP:18 | SOG:156
S21: GP:52 | G:19 | A:22 | P:41 | +5| PIM:14 | H:51 | PP:12 | SOG:168
S20: GP:50 | G:17 | A:16 | P:33 | +10 | PIM:30 | H:71 | PP:8 | SOG:155
S19: GP:50 | G:10 | A:3 | P:13 | +10 | PIM:18 | H:88 | PP:1 | SOG:68
S18: GP:50 | G:7 | A:8 | P:15 | +20 | PIM:24 | H:44 | PP:4 | SOG:73
------------------------------------------------
Totals: GP:1358 | G:514 | A:549 | P:1063 | +186| PIM:868 | H:2054 | PP:277| SOG:4750
------------------------------------------------------------
SHL Playoff Statistics:
------------------------------------------------------------
Transactions:
------------------------------------------------------------
Awards & Accomplishments:
------------------------------------------------------------
Lost my sig, Work in progress.....

#1 All-Time SHL Goal & Point Scorer 
- First 2,000 TPE Player in SHL History - 
- First 400 Goal Scorer in SHL History -
- Only 500 Goal Scorer in SHL History -
- First GM to Win 5 & 6 Challenge Cups -
Esa Anrikkanen Award - SMJHL ROY - Est. S34
Vidrik Onoprienko Award Winner - S45



Esa Anrikkanen || HOF GM || Calgary Dragons || S24 || Cups: 6
----------------------------------------
Seasons: 27
Playoffs: 25
Challenge Cup Championships: 5 (S27, S29, S32, S40, S42, S50)
Cole Reinhart Trophy: 8 (S27, S29, S32, S33, S38, S40, S42, S47, S50)
President's Trophy: 3 (S30, S35, S36, S49)
Division Titles: 6 (S30, S31, S33, S35, S36, S39, S49)
Lance Uppercut Award: S36
Joe McKeil Award: S26
Joe McKeil Award: S30
Joe McKeil Award: S33
Joe McKeil Award: S39
1st GM to Win 5 & 6 Challenge Cups!
----------------------------------------
Reg.Season Record: 774 - 448 - 113 (+543)
S50: 27 W - 20 L - 3 OTL  (+7)
S49: 34 W - 13 L - 3 OTL  (+31)
S48: 24 W - 19 L - 7 OTL (+0)
S47: 28 W - 16 L - 6 OTL (+12)
S46: 24 W - 22 L - 5 OTL (-14)
S45: 22 W - 26 L - 2 OTL (-13)
S44: 28 W - 18 L - 4 OTL (+23)
S43: 27 W - 21 L - 2 OTL (+17)
S42: 29 W - 15 L - 6 OTL (+24)
S41: 29 W - 19 L - 2 OTL (+24)
S40: 31 W - 13 L - 6 OTL (+29)
S39: 33 W - 14 L - 3 OTL (+30)
S38: 25 W - 21 L - 4 OTL (+9)
S37: 25 W - 19 L - 6 OTL (+18)
S36: 31 W - 15 L - 4 OTL (+43)
S35: 36 W - 12 L - 2 OTL (+47)
S34: 26 W - 19 L - 5 OTL (+14)
S33: 30 W - 14 L - 6 OTL (+34)
S32: 27 W - 18 L - 5 OTL (+4)
S31: 32 W - 16 L - 2 OTL (+30)
S30: 35 W - 13 L - 2 OTL  (+55)
S29: 29 W - 15 L - 6 OTL  (+44)
S28: 29 W - 15 L - 6 OTL  (+28)
S27: 27 W - 18 L - 5 OTL (+13)
S26: 31 W - 15 L - 4 OTL  (+16)
S25: 29 W - 19 L - 2 OTL  (+14)
S24: 26 W - 20 L - 6 OTL  (-7)
-----------------SMJHL--------------------
Detroit Falcons GM - S20-S23
Seasons: 4
Four Star Cup Championships: 1 (S23)
President's Trophy: 3 (S21, S22, S23)
Eastern Conference Title: 3 (S21, S22, S23)
Division Title: 3 (S21, S22, S23)
GM of The Year: S23
more to follow.....

Who on the Jets would be your ideal defensive partner this season?

What, in your opinion, is the Jets' biggest strength?

Any season predictions for your player?

With back-to-back Jesster trophy winners coming from Winnipeg, do you feel that there is a lot of pressure to perform as a rookie?

Anyone on this team or another that you have a rivalry with?

What is the key to winning in a very tight Western Conference?

Thoughts this years crop of Jets prospects?

Favorite thing about playing in Winnipeg?

What has it felt like playing for Norway this off season?

What are your thoughts on the early retirement of Falcons team mate Knutsen?

Do you think you will win rookie of the year?

Some follow up questions if you please, Mr. Manious.

Would you say Alex Mack is becoming your new Ms. Elizabeth? Does Mr. Mack need to worry about you throwing him over your shoulder and loping back to the locker room during a tense game?

Does your obvious jealousy of Slappy McDoodle stem from his having won a Four Star cup before you despite starting a season later, his good looks and skill with the ladies or is it simply a case of the shiny lights reflecting off of his championship ring straining your limited mental capacity much like a cat following a laser pointer?

Is it true that for a long time you thought Einstein's theory of relativity was an attempt to explain how the Brady Bunch kids were all related?