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A study in Toonza part 2
Maria Maximova, Ice Goddess
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SlappydoodleRegistered S42 Challenge Cup Champion
The West Kendall Platoon in association with McDoodle Productions are proud to bring you the second installment in an ongoing series of profiles of Toonzas past, present and future. This is ....A Study in Toonza.
Maria Maximova Ice Goddess A cold wind races through the locker room chilling all it touches. Proving the universe has a sense of irony, this cold breeze sets pulses racing and hearts fluttering throughout the room, heralding as it does the arrival of a deity into our midst. The second sign of the goddess' presence is the low, almost hypnotic purring of her two pet ocelots, General Mittenov and Ivan Pawgo. Maria Maximova, ice goddess and star defensewoman, has arrived. The longtime defensive stalwart has been the rock upon which the modern Platoon has been built. She is the beautiful and terrible destroyer of worlds, tamer of men's hearts, minds and souls and maker of outrageously good poutines. She has gone by many names down through the generations. She has been both worshipped and feared by a vast array of Northern civilizations. The names designated to her are legion: Skaldi, the wife of Njord and deity of ice and snow; Marzanna, Slavic goddess associated with death, winter and nightmares; Cailleach Bheur an ancient Goddess of the pre-Celtic people of Ireland; Frau Holle Norse legend associated with both the evergreen plants of the Yule season, and with snowfall, which is said to be Frau Holle shaking out her feathery mattresses. All these and more she has been called in voices gripped by wonder, fear, awe, lust, sometimes all simultaneously. In her current incarnation as Platoon star Maria Maximova, she has continued to display strengths and appetites no mere mortal could hope to match. In one weekend bacchanalia soon after this season's crushing first round playoff loss to the Toronto North Stars, Maximova managed to suck the vitality from four separate boy toys, quickly discarded to wander the streets in confusion and anemia ever more. She slew six different large predators deep within the swamps of the Everglades, with her bare hands and teeth. To cap it all off, she found a way to divide the number 1000 by three evenly using only whole numbers. All this while consuming enough vodka to float an aircraft carrier. She is also a lover of sport and games of chance. Before every game, this past season fans were invited to participate in betting on the mongoose versus cobra fights that Maximova hosted near the concourse area. When one of the cobras bit Maximova before a match, it quickly grew sick and died. Maria walked away unscathed. Maria Maximova, every man and quite a few ladies' ideal woman, is more than a defenseman, more than just a hockey player, dare I say it, she is more than a mere legend. She is a force of nature, clean and pure as the driven snow she hibernates within every summer. She is an ice goddess and woe unto the undeserving man or woman that attempts to dominate her. <a href='index.php?showuser=1675' rel='nofollow' alt='profile link' class='user-tagged mgroup-13'>enigmatic</a> 505 words ![[Image: nQDbTbM.png]](https://i.imgur.com/nQDbTbM.png) ![[Image: hA5o4UG.png]](https://i.imgur.com/hA5o4UG.png)
enigmaticTrading Card Team currently with big titles
:lol: holy shit.
This is probably the best thing I'll ever read about me :lol: ![[Image: Oqsvuu4.png]](https://i.imgur.com/Oqsvuu4.png)    
SlappydoodleRegistered S42 Challenge Cup Champion Quote:Originally posted by enigmatic@Apr 2 2017, 12:09 PM The only thing better would be the actual truth of you. :D
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