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dirtyboygrease · 12-05-2017, 11:32 PM

x2 (1727 words)

Dances with Man-Wolves.

A story by .. Grease La Roache

"That strong mother doesn't tell her cub, Son, stay weak so the wolves can get you. She says, Toughen up, this is reality we are living in." - Tony Hawk

The snow fell lightly on the dash of La Roaches Chevrolet Citation (also his home) as he sped towards the rink in rural Mushaboom Nova Scotia.

"Piss arse" he sighed while simultaneously throwing his reserve cigarette out the window. It was -35 outside and his hockey gear was in the trunk ensuring that his extremities and no-no parts would be ice cold before the game. Just what he wanted. Unknowingly to La Roach his cigarette had landed next to the decomposing carcass of a dead reindeer...

"...And thats how you pile-drive some ding dongs boys!!" the coach said beaming with a jovious smile. He placed his hand on the C adorned on the South-side Swamp Boys captain TJ "Manlet" Davey and ripped it right off.

"But coach! I had 12 minutes total dangle time!" Whimpered TJ.

"I straight up dont give a dangit what yall think, La Roach just earned his first captaincy!"

The coach then proceeded to grab a sewing kit from the trainers BUCKET and began to stitch the jersey onto La Roaches sweat and blood soaked uniform. The team had just clinched a playoff spot after missing for 5 years in a row but with the amazing body work and determination of this newly appointed young hot smoldering captain they finally have a chance to claim the Stank River Championship. After the all the boys had slapped La Roache on the back and ass they all cleared out to the local bar to wind down but not La Roache... He had other plans. His little chevette hummed and gasped as it barreled down the snowy streets towards his favorite parking spot on some dead end logging road in the middle of nowhere.

Upon parking his car La Roache got out to stretch his legs taking mental note of the ring of burnt out cigarette butts beside a bench as well as the spot next to his car where the snow had yet to cover as he repeatedly pisses there. He set upon opening his truck and grabbing a lime green lawn chair, unfolded it and with a satisfying crunch slapped it down into the snowbank. He would get lit tonight. It was around the fifth or sixth beer that La Roache started to get the familiar feeling that comes with sleeping in your car out in the woods, He must piss. Heading over to his pissing tree his vision noticed something in the snow that was outside the realm of his normal life.. A dogprint.

"Dope.." he whispered as little puffs of smoked tooted out from his cigarette.

Heading back to his chair a little unnerved but still highly buzzed he punched his fist into the snow and pulled up his A track stereo and began to crank some dope tight tunes(Platinum Blonde - Doesn't Really Matter). The music rang out between the trees and La Roaches hips swang side to side. Another hour went by and another case of beer stumbling towards his car ready for bed with a crash and tumble La Roach found himself on his back on the hood of his car, Music still ringing out into the night..

"Hmmmmmmm?" La Roache moaned realizing his radio was still on he sat up and looked towards the snow bank, however his gaze was immediately brought onto the the black hairy body of a large timber wolf hunched over the opposite side of the parking lot. La Roaches hair stood on end and that wasn't the only thing that stood up... It was the wolf. A series of load pops and cracks reached La Roaches ears as the wolf stood up on its hind legs. La Roache took to his feet and deftly slid off the roof of his car and headed to his trunk all the while the MAN WOLF just stood and watched with glowing yellow eyes from across the parking lot. His trunk slammed open, reaching inside La Roached grabbed the first things he could see: A wooden sherwood retro twig and his left skate. Punching his fist right first into his skate boot and grabbing the stick with his left he turned around to face the beast.

"Awooooooooooooooooo" howled La Roache as he fell into his battle stance. The MAN WOLF cocked his head sideways twitched his ears and took a step forward.
This was not the first time La Roache had punched a dog in the face however this monstrosity was much larger then a man. Barely able to keep his back straight after all the cat tranquilizers coach had been injecting into La Roaches spine he began to charge. Barely a second had passed and the MAN WOLF had already cleared half the parking lot leaving a trail of drool and dog sweat as he hopped and galloped side to side dodging and weaving nothing but still closing in effectively on La Roache. The wolf was went airborne, barely more then a black blurr as it launched itself at La Roache. In one graceful move La Roache turned his body sideways stuck his tuckus out and through the greatest hipcheck of his life catching the MAN WOLF in mid air flipping it forwards on to the cold icey pavement.

"I MISS YOU DAD" La Roached screamed as he brought his sherwood down onto the wolfs head. Wolfie seen this comming however and rolled over sideways just in time to feel La Roaches skate blade smash into his face... La Roaches plan had worked and the stupid dogman was easily tricked.

"loup-garou..." La Roach whispered...

The sun had just barely risen and La Roache was off to his first playoff game as captain he took a few practice shots with empty beer cans at the dogmans body before speeding off to the rink. The sun was now high in the sky on the same back roads as the night before. Finishing his first cigarette he reached over to toss it out the window when he noticed another dogman dead on the side of the road with a cigarette sized bulge in his throat.

"I am sorry Man Wolf" he whimpered as tear ran down his face.
It was me.. I did this. These poor dogmen they have it so hard here leaving with these rude french canadienes I never ment to hurt you..I will win this cup and bring it back to your wolf den I will not accept my actions here...I am...Sorry.. he leaned back into his seat and gunned it to the area. Tonight... La Roache is unleashed.
There was 12 people in the stands that night to witness La Roaches first career play-off hattrick however they could not figure out why after every goal he howled like a mad wolf but the other team was so terrified by this they refused to play on the serious and forfeited. The lockeroom was a mad house with half naked men and mcdonalds double cheese burgers being tossed around like confetti but all La Roache could think about was the cup...and the MAN WOLF...

The Wolves hide and back were easy to bite through however sewing was not easy for La Roache so he called over his head coach to help him make his MAN WOLF camouflage suit. Coach's red pickup truck eventually came rolling down the street and turned into the parking lot.
"Holy dang Grease you live in a fucking parking lot boy what the hell are u doing son??" he screamed at the top of his lungs. " Dont you realize there is loup-garou out here?" he grimmaced

Grease stepped forward covered in old dog blood holding the skin of his very own loup-garou friend (deceased) and tossed at coachs feet. Coach immidiatley grabbed it hand held it up infront of his face and began to nod.

"Yes..Grease...This will do just fine.." he smiled.

The two men worked feverishly snipin, cuttin, sewing and modeling the new wolf pelt mantle. It was purrfect. As La Roached pulled it over his shoulders he felt something primal within im awaken.. a Thirst for something he couldnt quite put his finger on but it was there in the back of his mind.. Wearing the wold skin mantle underneath his equipment he took his team to the finals with ease scoring over 50 points in 12 games and killing 7 men on the ice with just his broad manlely oddly spaced shoulders. As his team went insane in the locker room blasting Ke$ha and popping bottles only one thing was on La Roaches mind. Giving that cup to the MAN WOLVES.

The cup barely fit into the backseat of his chevette but the family sized KFC chicken bucket meal fit perfectly in his gut as he ate the whole thing before arriving back at the parking lot...his home. La Roache once again and for the final time donned his wolf mantle, toss the cup on his shoulder and set out to find the wolf den, The journey did not take long as they were nesting just 100 feet from his car inside an old heap of farmers garbaged that was dumped pleasantly in the forest. Within seconds of reaching the den La Roache detected movement within the trash heap... They'd fight me in broad daylight? he thought. But instead of a muscular alpha dog he gazed upon a completely nude female with unshaved armpits and hairy legs/arms.

"Tabarnac!" he cried out.

She was muscular and hairy, clearly unkempt and clearly a MAN WOLF... but still Grease felt a tenderness inside him and knew this would be his wife. He strut over to her and she retreated back in the den however strangely Grease found the lyrics of Message in a Bottle coming from his lips as he outstretched his hand towards the den...

"....AAAAANNND THE COLORADO MAMMOTHS PROUDLY SELECT.....GREASE LA ROACHE!!!"

The camera panned from La Roaches smiling face to the crowd where the world caught a small glimpse of his loving hairy wife sporting a new baby bump and still completely unbathed and washed wife standing in the crowd howling like a mad dog. This readers...is the start of something BIG!

ToeDragon84 · 12-06-2017, 01:28 AM

:lol:

Aw Aw Aoooooooooooo let's go La Roache!

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