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DeletedAtUserRequest · 09-28-2018, 04:19 AM

THIS PT IS FOR SHL PLAYERS AND SEND DOWNS. IT IS NOT FOR SMJHL ROOKIES.

Welcome boys and girls to SHL storytime! Below is the beggining of a tale which each person will add to in the creation of a collaberative weekend effort.

Task: Every participant with a post of at least 25 words will receive ONE CAPPED TPE, while 5 members will be chosen as discussion leaders and will receive an additional ONE UNCAPPED TPE.

Note: **No more then 40 words per entry, and please no posts with malicious intent.**

Deadline: is Sunday September 30, 10 PM EDT

Code:
A truly shocking scene it was. from stars to rooks, from coaches to cleaners.. every person associated with the SHL was here.. together in this auditorium awaiting this major announcement which has hovered over the league in secrecy for quite a while!  But it better happen soon as the crowd grows restless. Members of Winnipeg have ......

Continue.....

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DeletedAtUserRequest · 09-28-2018, 04:23 AM

Day 1!

A truly shocking scene it was. from stars to rooks, from coaches to cleaners.. every person associated with the SHL was here.. together in this auditorium awaiting this major announcement which has hovered over the league in secrecy for quite a while! But it better happen soon as the crowd grows restless. Members of Winnipeg have started moving to the back of the auditorium, most players and coaches attention are focused on the stage but some notice the Jets, it was to late though. They all pulled out t-shirt cannons and began firing on the Seattle Riot of all teams! DeMaricus Smyth led a charge of Seattle's toughest lads (even though Lombardi tagged in too for some reason). They found the Jets players and made them all a super sexual dinner. How did they make this dinner sexual you may ask? They did it the only way anyone can, using bacon, lots and lots of greasy and delicious bacon, they used it for wraps, they used it for toppings, but most of all they used it for causing the deaths and destruction of innocent women and children. These T-Shirt cannons were used for deadly effect in the first gulf war, causing mass destruction amongst the many Iraqi civilians as they withdrew from Kuwait. The only thing saving the fleeing forces from total death was the sudden arrival of a team of Israeli trained attack otters. These amazing semi-aquatic weasels quickly took the cannons out of commission by chewing voraciously upon the flesh of their operators. This actually led to the funniest sight of the day, which was the over-the-top sexual meal. I mean how could you not laugh a group of 20 men were sexually baby birding you lunch. These damn t-shirt cannons were going to be the end of this league because if these Israeli otters show up again it's going to be a goddamn Bloodbath. Or maybe not. Maybe it was a wild PedoBear that jumped from the bush and started jumping around camp fire while shooting t-shirts with bacon to the sky. Some even say that this was all an hallucination due to @ToeDragon84 adding pot brownies to the desert cart. Which would make allot of sense to why wannabefin is in the back of the auditorium french kissing Samee, after a while Eggy showed up and reigned everyone in. Booming from the speakers everyone heard the familiar voice "STOP WITH THIS NONSENSE MAGGOTS, I HAVE IMPORTANT NEWS. THE LEAGUE IS INSOLVENT! WE NOW MUST ALL MAKE $1000 EACH OR ELSE THE LEAGUE WILL FOLD! DO YOU HAVE THE GUTS TO DO THIS!?!

A frail hand rose from the crowd. It was Winnipeg's GM citing that the city was so miserable they preferred to all move south together and found the Mexico City Aztecs, a team that many outspoken members of the SHL have been clamoring as the next to infiltrate the SHL front office. Mike Izzy is now on the stage with Eggy. Mike Izzy removed Eggy mask to reveal the real identity of the SHL commissioner! and the real imposter is none other than asspancakes! coming back to regain his glory as the leagues top scorer. Izzy stands shocked, almost fainting before declaring to the crowd that this means that everyone is going to turn into Renegade fans and boycott PTs that are created like this. The people weren't having fun reading pointless things to....

'Treason! "It's treason, then!" shouts Izzy, before drawing a t-shirt cannon from underneath his jersey. Before he can fire, though, he's cut off by none other than Mr.Shit! swinging in out of nowhere on a rope, straight towards Izzy.. He shouts, "no stupid, u no kill asspancakes he nice man I gonna fuck u up", as he pulls from his pocket a heartfelt apology written by both Mr. Shit and Asspancakes to Izzy, He gives the note to Izzy and asks that he read it to the rest of the SHL and a hearing be held on whether or not the two of them can rejoin the league. We cut to the hearing where Eggy sits in front of the SHL as judge and a GM from each team is part of the jury. People are arguing, there Saying that asspancakes shouldn’t be allowed back in the SHL, mr pancakes sit in the seat next to his lawyer, Mr Shit as testimonies are coming in throughout the league as people are yelling at him for tripping people every night. Same is on the prosecutor arguing to the judge and jury about the fact that people hate pancakes and they love waffles. All of a sudden a voice booms out “AWWWWWWWW SHL! DON’T YOU DARE BE SOUR! CLAP FOR YOUR WORLD FAMOUS 5-TIME CHAMPS, AND FEEEEEEL THE POWWAAAAAAAA!” And the New Day comes out throwing pancakes at Gritty! Gritty, being the grittiest mascot to ever grace the world, dodged the pancakes and even caught one and gobbled it in one bite. “Asspancakes is my son, and everything he’s done wrong is a result of his upbringing. Please forgive him.”

Gritty then Walked over the AssPancakes and stood next to him and said don't you see the resemblance? AssPancakes looks just like me, he has the same vacant look even down to the way he grabs his son, swoops him up in his arms, and turns to run away with him. When asspancakes looks gritty in the eyes. Gritty looks down at his son "WHATS WRONG?! DON"T YOU RECOGNIZE YOUR OLD MAN?!" .... Asspancakes replies "Oh I recgonize him alright, I recognize that you're NOT HIM!" Asspancakes then grabs on gritty's face and pulls it off, revealing it was a mask, underneath the mask it was actually A Philadelphia Flyers marketing executive.

"Listen to me SHL members, we obviously have our ears to the ground on modern culture. You think Gritty is good, our mascot for your league is going to be even better! It is...The Evil Wizard from the movie Blades of Glory! He's back with a vengence and his primary goal is to reap havoc on all of the heinous players that have chose to neglect checking in this league. He said "This league has become much too soft! To try to remedy this, I have devised the following as punishment:"..."you all have to root for the Buffalo Stampede, something that nobody wants to do! The room went berserk and Asspancakes, Mr Shit, and Gritty all jumped out the window, landing in their locker room shroud in mystery whispering's in the stands have people on edge whilst all you can hear coming from their locker room is the mixed muffled sounds of anger and excitement when all at once the doors swing open and Big Manious skates out onto the ice in a Calgary Dragon's Jersey! The crowd goes wild! He's finally done it! He's finally made the leap! Then all of a sudden, a real dragon bursts through the ceiling, landing on the ice with a huge roar! Everyone starts getting scared and running all over the place, then pingu, sitting on the bench finishing his timbits, looks up and says "o. Here we go again". He climbs up and mounts the dragon! But what Pingu didn't know was this was no ordinary dragon this was the legendary blue eyes white dragon! Pingu did not have enough enough training to control this magnificent beast and was thrown off like he was nothing. With a violent roar the dragon mounts Pingy instead and rides of into the distance. Gritty once again has his full suit and pulls Angels sang out in immaculate chorus, when down from the heavens descended Chuck Norris - who delivered a kick which could shatter bones, into the crotch of @Thunder39. Hunter Jones.

Jones bellowed and cried, for his poor old nut sack was dead inside. Along came slash to lend a hand, to assist Mr, Jones to get in his bath. The warm water helped to ease the pain, but Mr Jones was such an ice cold killer the water froze over instantly revealing a new skill set that Jones had never even considered. These are generally what comes out of comic books and shit, but Mr. Jones just took it in stride and stood up from the tub. Without drying off Jones reached for a t-shirt cannon and returned to the auditorium full of SHL members completely naked because they had just gotten out of the bathtub too. It always made it easier for Jones to get up in front of the crowd when all parties involved were completely nude... Jones stared, unafraid of his dangling member in front of the SHL players. He rose his arms and aimed the t-shirt cannon towards the players. His intent was known for some time now. He was determined to finally appear exceptionally restless. Their conversions seems irritated and appear to become worse. Blizzard players that are next to them feel afraid because it seems that chairs will soon start to fly As eggy start to raise his voice he is once again interrupted! But this time by rival league commissioner Garry Bettman! The crowd erupted in a sea of boos. The loud crowd made it impossible for Eggy to talk over them, so he did what always worked for him, and pulled out a picture of @ligma crutchfield and rubbed it over his genitles.... something no one knew eggy does when he is nearvous... but this announcement must be made! So eggy handed the pic to his co commish thedangazone and let TDZ have his turn with the money shot. Then, Eggy nervously approached the microphone, penis still in his hand, cleared his throat and said..

" ... Today, I consider myself, the luckiest man, on the face of the earth. When you look around, wouldn't you consider it a privilege to associate yourselves with such a fine looking man standing in the uniform of the Toronto North Stars".

All joking aside, I think it´s time that we focus on something that is important to me and at the same time is one of the biggest issues on SHL, did you know that Formx was wrongfully removed from the head office, and will be taking over my job as the head commish effective immediately. then after that, formx went back to his farm and took a big nasty shit right on the cow's forehead. This would lead to building up confidence for him to enforce a worldwide ban on the Buffalo Stampede as we know it. He then starts dancing after he smeared shit on his forehead as is the custom of his people. This led to the Stampede following suit, as they refused to be phased by this obvious scare tactic. Then Formx booted up discord and typed pornhub in every channel and got disappointed not porn was shown. Screaming at the top his lungs "this is all your fault Satan!" For everyone knows that porn is forbidden in Hell ( this is actually the only real difference between it and heaven). Formx was so enraged by his lack of porn that he took all his pent up anger, and sexual tension, grabbed a michette in one hand, a shot gun in the other, put on his night vision goggles, and a thick bullet proof vest, and got ready to unleash an attack on Wally, HO and everyone who ordered the shrimp and vegetables dinner.... formx was horny and angry and grabbed the wet crutchfield pic out of TDZs hands then turned to where the Texas Renages we’re seated and demanded that everyone take note of the fact the shot gun he brought was unloaded and nobody was harmed in this live action role play scenario..

That did not stop a knee-jerk reaction for someone to play a certain memetic tune on a nearby flute to summon...
JOHN CENA!!

Day 2:

Right on top off Mankind, after the Undertaker threw him off Hell In A Cell, and he plummeted 16 ft through an announcer's table, he lay there, with god as my witness, broken in half calling for medical help. Unfortunately because of the laws of the state, they did not have any medical help on hand. So they trusted the work of dependable mascot Gritty to get them through this. Gritty walks in with a big bag of popcorn on him, as he starts to feed him, kernal by kernal, healing him with his popcorn, then Gritty Whispers in his ear ..

"I'm gonna give you a lick with my razer tounge, can't you see I'm hottee then the sun?" the he opens his mouth like a scene in the alien..

revealing @luketd was inside the mascot the whole time! He dabs and runs onto the rink to body check some goalies, except one goalie decides to fight back. And that goalie is Hollywood superstar Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, who was in full gear filming for his new movie "Mighty Ducks: Revengeance." After landing a few solid jabs, The Rock took a step back and said..."Can you smell it? Can you smell what the rock is cooking? The auditorium looks like a boxing ring, with then rock in the middle! He notices no one is left except a number of users who don't understand what's going on, The Rock jumps up on the ropes to address these people, "stop responding to the OP u fucks, do if right." Then he throws the mic straight at the Members of Winnipeg who have suddenly announced that they have opened a new department in their organisations, due to recent situation in the league. The new department is called SLASH - Strong Language Analytics Support Hub. This new department will be monitoring and analysing the use of possibly strong language in the league!

And in that department, the only person fit for the job, is the one and only SlashMC. When he walks up to the stage to talk to the press he starts off by throwing something at a small child! Oh my god a small child was hit in the face with a microphone thrown from Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson! The child looks concussed he's wobbling as he tries to stand but wait he pulls his mask off and it's none other than...

Esa Anrikkanen! Yes, it is SHL legend Esa. Everyone is shocked seeing him. He is looking very angry. He takes microphone from the ground and Beigns eating the microphone, piece by piece he devours every small bit of plastic and electronics. How's that for a fucking announcement? Eggy

Once he eats the microphones, you begin seeing his stomach grumbling. Then you see something pushes against his stomach from within, like a baby kicking, but much more aggressively. The part of the microphone are rebuilding into something new in his stomach. You can hear steam engine noises and parts clicking. Then the newly formed robot rips out of Esa's stomach, like the Alien babies from the Alien movies. The robot is none other than Esa’s recreate. The moment shocks the crowd. After a very long time Esa is in the league, could this be a prophecy?? Could this be Esa’s recreate foretold in front of us?

The robot jumps out and begins to speak... "I have returned in a new form. But this time, I'm not here to build the Dragons up but I am here to destroy them. I am the Anti-Esa". The roboto's eyes go black, lightning strikes, and he begins his plan to destroy the Calgary Dragons franchise. The first step of his plan is to take over ownership of the Dragons and then relocate the team to Utica. Utica, Missisippi, that is - a small town with under 900 residents. And then he will Burn the city to the ground and build walls around the stadium, changing fans 500 dollars to enter the building. After that esa started to take over other towns near it, burning down those towns to build...also trade away all of their best players for reasons that can only be rationalized as a way to save money, but also effectively kill the fanbase.

the biggest move being the shopping of fan favourite #1 defensemen Adam Kaiser for months, only to deal him to the LA panthers in what can only be described as a terrible return, trading there 1st round pick which may be 1st OA to the Seattle Riot for a disgruntled C who wanted to leave Seattle, and then waiving another fan favourite, only to call him back up after nobody takes him. This Mecha-Esa is out for blood, no GM would do such moronic thing, poor Otta--- I mean, Calgary.

Once he finished slaughtering the team morale and future he moved on to Secure the new main sponsor, pornhub.
The new team colors is now orange and black with a big pornhub logo. He then renamed the town to pound town.. So the pound town dragons, sponsored by pornhub, began there first season. On opening night they announced there new captain, coming over from overseas, Asspancakes! First alternate is Mr. Shit! And Second alternate is Gritty! Gritty being the one redeeming part of the team.

The pound town dragons were ready to start there new season when on opening night a member of the edmonton blizzard.. And just like those classic Pizza Guy videos, the pound town Dragons got their money’s worth getting drilled by Edmonton, it was a spectacle to watch as they hacked into the new state of the art 4K video board and started to browse the main sponsors Pornhub website and started viewing a clip. the video being shown was none other than...Elsa and spiderman. Yes finally they were getting the respect they deserve and had earned throughout the years, they were after all die hard SHL fans who frequently tuned in to the latest and greatest SHL and SMJHL teams currently competing in the league. I of course love the elsa and spiderman videos myself because I am a Spiderman. Yes White Cornerback is spiderman, not only that, but actually the entire Avengers team are all secretly members of the SHL. We will reveal them now one at a time in epic fashion.

First is Leshaun King as Black Widow. Yes the San Francisco Pride centre is actually the super hero Black Widow, the red hair was a wig after all.

Second is.....Retired Scrub, and former Manhattan Winger Harry Hans, he's playing as Venom, yes you heard me right. He's also playing as extras in the movie as well.

Third is... Mike Izzy, playing The Hulk... Izzy is a very nice guy, but you do not want to anger Izzy.. You don't want to see what happens with Hulk Izzy gets angry...

The fourth is...

"BOOOOOOOOOOO BOOOOOOOOOOO" - The crowd cries out "FUCK THE AVENGERS" they say. One user yells "KING ISN'T BLACK WIDOW THEY'RE LYING!!!" ..."HE'S GOT A TAIL I HEARD!!!" someone else exclaims... and someone in the crowd starts chanting “Justice League” “justice league” as fans starting arguing, people all across the SHL people are divided until a couple days later this shl gm said ... Guys don't fight. My name is @Samee and i think we should all be friends, on the Riots roster. Who even cares about the Avengers or the Justice League when ERIK KARLSSON GOT TRADED TO THE SHARKS!?

Samee beckons from his corner of the shit and piss filled auditorium. One of the many random cries from SHL members that have spent the past few days starving and watching thousands of their fellow users die. Just over 350 remain...The other day I walked outside and it smelled like a toaster oven. I couldn't believe it. You know that ozone type smell? Like something was burning? Then with a flash, it was all over. .an iridescent light, the one to penetrate thick fog, was the only source of livelihood in the general premises. Unexpectedly, from seemingly nowhere, a howling scream of relief and terror reigned from the western side of the Pennsylvania turnpike. No, it couldn't be. The smoke cleared from around the figure, as only a movie script could write, as Gorlab himself emerged from the chaos.

The crowd stood in the horror as the one who shant be named emerged. "Fools, your internal bickering and fighting has broken your bonds, and has make you weak and ready for attack, COME FORTH! MY BANNEEs" - Gorlab

Within the stadium there was a hush over the crowd. Unable to fathom what was about to pierce the entrance, they were already entranced and dumbstruck by a nude goaltender literally standing on his head in the center of the room. Behind Gorland flurried out an army of former banned members, all as horribly disfigured, offensive and as into bronies as they day they were banished.
The Bannee's rushed the stadium to attack the unsuspecting SHL community.

and then the goaltender then sang,

"Bitch,
Bitch,
Bitch,

I'm a boss ass Bitch,
Bitch,
Bitch,

boss ass Bitch,
Bitch,
Bitch yeah,
Bitch.

Suck it."

And spun 360 degrees on his head!

Seeing the goaltender spin on his head like a demon, the crowd started to cheer for him stunning the other persons around. Who would have guess someone with so much equipment could spin so well.

PS: bring back 15 words pt

Day 3:

As he was nakedly spinning his defencemen skated by and was hit in the eye with his spinning manhood. With one hit the defencemens eye popped right out of its socket and onto the ice. As the eye rolled away from its socket the defesemen started screaming in pain and calling forth a demonic precance, the demon rose from the ground. It was non other then The man, the myth, the Austrian legend, Mike Izzy rising from the ground!! The crowd started cheering and a standing ovation as Izzy has been caught in a cocaine scandal. A total of 11 Jets player where caught by local police to be apart of a cocaine ring. Suspensions are coming soon per Mike Izzy sources.

In an attempt to escape, Mike Izzy pulled a hidden leaver causing kilos and kilos of cocaine to pour into the crowd and ice from bags hidden in the rafters... Not realizing how much he was unloading be the entire audience gets drown in 4 feet of cocaine. People are suffocating the cocaine. Good thing the avengers are in the building to try and save the day...Tony Stark is the first in the building. He looks to his left and right. It’s cocaine as far as the eye can see. Tony Montanna is seen in the corner snorting it out to his hearts delight. Tony Stark immediately told a distress Spiderman to look away. "Too late Mr. Stark, I don't feel so good". Spiderman fainted. Tony had enough and decided if you can't beat them, join them. He racks up a line as long as his arm before cutting out the middleman and simply sticking his head into the pile and snorting with both nostrils. He only stops when he hears a noise behind him, it's a stranger wearing his iron man suit. He walks closer and sees it's.. Clark Kent! also known as superman.

He asks Kent "What is this, a crossover episode?" Superman laughs but in a way tony can tell hes been hitting one of the many cocaine piles in the room. Superman then begins to walk towards Jason Visser, otherwise known as Treeman, savior and smoker of the trees. Spiderman turned on Treeman, smacking him in the groin region, but Treeman was numb to pain because of his medical marijuana prescription, so he puffed a large, dank cloud and escaped into the haze, leaving Superman bewildered and annoyed. Superman regained his composure, weighed his options, and decided to return to his previous form as spider man. The large, dank haze still looming, he felt an insatiable hunger and web-slinged on over to the nearest pizza joint for a slice of Mike Izzy's hot dog and cocaine family special pizza.

When he got to Izzy's place he was shocked to see that it was on fire, literally, not figuratively. He saw Iggy running around on the street screaming for help ..

Video of Izzy

...As the man ran around almost butt naked scream for the help of a one "Tom Cruise and his Magical witch craft power" and a one "Oprah Winfrey" ...

The place became a desert in a matter of minute. Tom Cruise revealed himself as an evil wizard using the power of Scientology to purify manking through fire. Oprah was overwhelmed by the amount of flaming bullshit she was receiving. For once, she didn't have enough cars. Scared, she Ran into the Buffalo Stampede dressing room looking for a place to hide. Upon entering the dressing room she screamed! Inside the dressing room was a huge breasted woman.. her hot young niece Aquaris Lofton who she called to come and perform for the remaining SHL users still suffering this nightmare. Aquarius grabbed an empty wine bottle from a nearby cart and began to Twirl the wine bottle over her head while cursing incessantly about how she cannot get any privacy in the locker room and it was beginning to make her a bit dizzy, but none the less she continued to twirl the wine bottle. The bottle is smashed over the head of a teammate, sending red liquid all over the gear and locker room.

But after closer analysis it turned out that the liquid was not the red red wine but was instead the arterial blood of the star player Gritty. With near perfect timing the door of a storage closet squeaks open and out falls the lifeless body of the aforementioned star player and ex-mascot. As the team took a closer look they realised that the mascot wasn't dead at all. But in reality was a living dead, it was a zombie, the zombie rose and began it's a reign of terror, across the city you see him causing havoc everywhere he went, who would stop this mad man? This hero's name was of course... the return of the Esa Jr Robot!! After having been buried in cocaine his programing rewirded from evil to good. And he decide to repent for his sins by stopping this zombie terror.

As the Esa Jr Robot stood to fight, Gritty began to vibrate. Slowly at first, then more and more wildly. Suddenly, Gritty's mask shot off his face, revealing Gritty was somehow, the Es Jr Robot himself. Wait a minute... how is this possible? The only explanation is that it's John Cena!!!

Cena comes out and lands a Superman Punch on everyone. He’s laying out everyone and cooking a chicken pot pie casserole for Tom hanks until Viktor Vorkampfer drops a combination of toenail clippings and belly button lint into the chicken pot pie. John Cena can't serve such a disgusting meal to a man as dignified as Tom Hanks, so he makes an emergency trip to Trader Joe's for SIERRA HOTEL INDIA ECHO LIMA DELTA SHIELD, BAWH GAWD IT'S THE SHL SHIELD THEY'RE BACK FOR ONE NIGHT ONLY AND THEY HAVE JUMPED THE SHL COMMISSIONER....

Eggy grunts rips of his shirt, pulls off his pants, and jumps on top of John Cena. Cena is in pain, Eggy is experiencing pure pleasure. Have you ever seen something like this before .. But then all the sudden the Phanatic, to the rescue of the now uncovered Gritty, appears as his music comes in over the airwaves, ready with....

[Image: 1678.jpg?itok=iar1QvZ5]

Ooooof!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and in a quick burst from REM to conciousness... Eggy wakes up in a cold sweat from what felt like a weekend long nightmare! Trying to wrap his mind around the many suspicious turns of his dream, eggy decides that its best to lay back down and try and get a good nights sleep so he can be refreshed for another day of running the SHL.

Eggy opens his night stand draw and pulls out his picture of @ligma and gently places it over his genitals as his head hits the pillow and he drifts back to sleep.

THE END

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Mayuu · 09-28-2018, 04:32 AM

Started moving to the back of the auditorium, most players and coaches attention are focused on the stage but some notice the Jets, it was to late though.
They all pulled out t-shirt cannons and......

RETIRED

***bluesfan55*** · 09-28-2018, 05:54 AM

began firing on the Seattle Riot of all teams. DeMaricus Smyth led a charge of Seattle's toughest lads (even though Lombardi tagged in too for some reason). They found the Jets players and...

ty to @High Stick King @EvilAllBran and @Ragnar for the sigs

Troy_McClure03 · 09-28-2018, 07:58 AM

...made them all a super sexual dinner. How did they make this dinner sexual you may ask? They did it the only way anyone can, using...

JayWhy · 09-28-2018, 08:06 AM

... bacon, lots and lots of greasy and delicious bacon, they used it for wraps, they used it for toppings, but most of all they used it for...

An old man's dream ended. A young man's vision of the future opened wide. Young men have visions, old men have dreams. But the place for old men to dream is beside the fire.

Thanks to Jackson, Copenhagen, and Harry Hans!

GOING DOWN IN STYLE. TOAST4LYFE

Avakael · 09-28-2018, 08:20 AM

...but most of all, the bacon was used for causing the deaths and destruction of innocent women and children. These T-Shirt cannons were used for deadly effect in the first gulf war, causing mass destruction amongst the many Iraqi civilians as they withdrew from Kuwait. The only thing saving the fleeing forces from total death was...

Slappydoodle · 09-28-2018, 08:26 AM

the sudden arrival of a team of Israeli trained attack otters. These amazing semi-aquatic weasels quickly took the cannons out of commission by chewing voraciously upon the flesh of their operators.

This actually led to the funniest sight of the day, which was.....

***Fantobens*** · 09-28-2018, 08:32 AM

.... the over-the-top sexual meal. I mean how could you not laugh a group of 20 men were sexually baby birding you lunch. These damn t-shirt cannons were going to be the end of this league because if these Israeli otters show up again it's going to be a goddamn Bloodbath. Or maybe not. Maybe it was....

Snussu · 09-28-2018, 08:33 AM

...A wild PedoBear that jumped from the bush and started jumping around camp fire while shooting t-shirts with bacon to the sky. Some even say...

DeletedAtUserRequest · 09-28-2018, 08:42 AM

that this was all an hallucination due to @ToeDragon84 adding pot brownies to the desert cart. Which would make allot of sense to why wannabefin is in the back of the auditorium french kissing .......

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Mayuu · 09-28-2018, 08:43 AM

Samee, after a while Eggy showed up and reigned everyone in.
Booming from the speakers everyone heard the familiar voice "STOP WITH THIS NONSENSE MAGGOTS, I HAVE IMPORTANT NEWS. THE LEAGUE IS....."

RETIRED

ArGarBarGar · 09-28-2018, 08:46 AM

INSOLVENT! WE NOW MUST ALL MAKE $1000 EACH OR ELSE THE LEAGUE WILL FOLD! DO YOU HAVE THE GUTS TO DO THIS!?!

A frail hand rose from the crowd. It was...

Alonzo Garbanzo Final Tallies (Among Defensemen):
2nd in Goals (208), All-Time Assists Leader (765)*, All-Time Points Leader (973), 3rd in Hits (2587), All-Time Blocked Shots Leader (1882)*
*All-Time Leader Among All Skaters
Player Profile | Update Thread
[Image: IeEV7Iv.png]

*Zoone16* · 09-28-2018, 08:54 AM

... Winnipeg's GM citing that the city was so miserable they preferred to all move south together and found the Mexico City Aztecs, a team that many outspoken members of the SHL have been clamoring as the next...

*NorwegianDemon* · 09-28-2018, 08:55 AM

.......infiltrated the SHL front office. Mike Izzy is on the stage with Eggy. Mike Izzy removed Eggy mask to reveal the real identity of the SHL commissioner. Find who is the imposter in the next episode…

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