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Winnipeg Area: please help
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Winiipeg- Brian Bowman has asked for the public's help in "locating and destroying" the entire SHL WINnipeg Jets organization after there drunken Canadian stupor.

"it's absolutely awful!" Says Bowman. "At first it was just little things, loudly cheering and assisting the elderly in snow removal. Mending fences between neighbors. Removing herds of moose from our highway. Building the homeless houses. But now they are doing EVERY public service job. We have all these city workers with no work to do! There is no trash anywhere, no junkies on the street! The bus drivers reported that no one is at any stop, but they saw a zamboni towing a haycart with heaters and hot drinks being driven around the streets dropping off and picking people up. Every submitted permit has been processed. So I call on all of you to stop this. We have 853 employees facing layoffs because of these people. The city needs you to stop them. They have removed there last snowflake!"

Others think it's great. Like the entire assisted living community, Sturgeon Creek II Retirement Residence. One woman in particular, Sally Flourance, was extremely satisfied with the team effort.

" Those Jets, let me tell you my dear, they are simply wonderful!. We asked this place for year for a bigger televison for our stories. They came in here chasing a lost dog, sat and talked to us, and then got to work. Now we each have 70 inch TVs in our homes. My slow moving drain in my bathroom is good as new. They changed everyone's oil in the lot and even stuffed a beaver or two! They stuffed my beaver!!"

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