Coming off of his best season to date in the SHL, James Dekens goes into S45 with tragedy striking. On December 13th, 2018, Dekens future father in law, the best man he knew passed away unexpectedly at the young age of 55. The day was like any other, he went to the rink had practice with the boys, ate his normal Chobani yogurt and bowl of fruit for breakfast, had a Jimmy Johns sub for lunch, and had his post practice workout. He needed to keep in shape, S45 needed to be his year for the Richan. Dekens wanted it so badly. Engaged back in August of 2017, he wanted the long engagement to focus a little bit on playing puck and saving the funds to pay cash for their wedding. The year was about to be here. He just purchased a house in November after the season prior signing a slightly long term contract. Everything was going to plan, everything was good, everything was happy. That fateful day, it was cold, nothing out of the ordinary as Dekens resided in Michigan at the time. Just putting together grocery list as normal on a Thursday after getting paid the day before, Dekens was laying in bed when he got the call. 7:30PM. The phone rang, Dekens' fiance Kelsie answers, it was her older brother. Neither the normal nor out of it, though it did seem quite random at the time. Kelsie didn't understand her brother at first. Dekens figured it was the older brother's mumbly self. Kelsie looked at Dekens with the most shocked face he'd ever seen.

"What. My Dad's dead? My Dad's dead?"


"The rest of the night was kind of a blur," said Dekens, "I don't even really remember what came after that. We didn't know how to feel. There were tears, there were slight panic attacks, there was sobbing, and there were times you wanted to cry but couldn't. A numbness to it. Somehow by instinct we knew we had to pull ourselves together, make the two hour drive to Ann Arbor, and just be there with family."


Dekens described one of, if not the, worst nights of his life. It was stomach churning to take down, just to report. He was surprisingly quite open about it saying something along the lines of, "If you don't get it out you can't heal."

The two weeks following were dull and gloomy, not just because of the weather but life just seemed like it shouldn't go on. How was life still going on? Dekens had to go back to practice almost right away, he was almost lost on the ice. He couldn't think straight. He had to get away, he couldn't face this reality that life doesn't stop when someone you care deeply about does. His training was skewed, he knew he wasn't going to start S45 as sharp as he should.

"My work ethic definitely suffered. Probably gained a few pounds. Didn't have the motivation to go on. Everyone kept telling me that time heals all wounds, or it's all God's plan, and I just couldn't do it. I needed to get out for a few days." You could see the sadness in Dekens' eyes that day. He was by all means, just down.

Preseason started in a couple days and Dekens had to be ready. This was his job, this is life, he had to go on with his regular routine. Life had to go on and it indeed does. The season started, Dekens has 7 goals thus far, and every single one he scores goes straight up. There's no celly, there's not much celebration, just a point straight to the heavens, fist bumps along the bench and right back to it.

Our hearts here at the Manhattan Magazine go out to James Dekens and his family and we wish him the best in the coming months.




I'm sorry for the down article guys and if there are any mistakes, I just kind of went and I felt I needed to get this out during this time. Who better than to a bunch of people that I look forward to hanging out with on a daily basis in this forum. The guys have been like family during these hard times, and have been there for me through inconsistent updates and my time spent elsewhere. I love you guys, thank you.


I wanted to dedicate this article, though he would've just called me a fucking nerd and been over it, to Terry. I loved you like my own father, and really that's what you have been to me since I started dating my fiance almost 5 years ago. You are the best man I have ever met and you will be sorely missed. Love you Terry. Rest in peace dude. Go Green.

3 time Four Star Cup Champion S40-S42
S43 Jesster Trophy Nominee Winner

Scored my first SHL goal in just my second SHL game. 2. Manhattan Rage , James Dekens 1 (Mikael Talo 1, Sigurd Hansen 1) at 18:39

Oof, sorry to hear that man. Glad that Manhattan has been there for you during it all. People say this is fake hockey, but we're all real people behind our players and our usernames. I hope you and your family are able to heal.

Damn.... Sorry to hear about your loss :(

Free agent
Updates

Sorry for your loss man.

Sorry to hear this buddy :( best wishes to you and your family

EMIL KARLSSON | C | MONTREAL PATRIOTES | 993 TPE
NAME: Emil Karlsson
BIRTHPLACE: Örnsköldsvik, Sweden
HEIGHT: 6'3"
WEIGHT: 230 lbs
NUMBER: 28
------------------------------------------------------------
SHL CAREER STATS
S76 MTL: GP: 66, G: 18, A: 29, P: 47, +/-: -90, H: 71
S77 MTL: GP: , G: , A: , P: , +/-: , H:
TOT: GP: 66, G: 18, A: 29, P: 47, +/-: -90, H: 71
------------------------------------------------------------
SHL PLAYOFF STATS
S76 MTL: DNQ
------------------------------------------------------------
SMJHL CAREER STATS
S72 DET: GP: 8, G: 0, A: 0, P: 0, +/-: -8, H: 9
S73 DET: GP: 66, G: 18, A: 23, P: 41, +/-: -3, H: 73
S74 DET: GP: 66, G: 9, A: 24, P: 33, +/-: -7, H: 59
S75 DET: GP: 66, G: 17, A: 38, P: 55, +/-: 9, H: 90
TOT: GP: 206, G: 44, A: 85, P: 129, +/-: -9, H: 231
------------------------------------------------------------
SMJHL PLAYOFF STATS
S72 DET: DNQ
S73 DET: GP: 9, G: 1, A: 5, P: 6, +/-: -7, H: 9
S74 DET: GP: 17, G: 1, A: 7, P: 8, +/-: 4, H: 12
S75 DET: GP: 14, G: 5, A: 6, P: 11, +/-: -8, H: 15
TOT: GP: 40, G: 7, A: 18, P: 25, +/-: -11, H: 36
------------------------------------------------------------
IIHF CAREER STATS
------------------------------------------------------------
AWARDS/HONOURS:
S74: Four Star Cup champion (Detroit Falcons)
S74: WJC Gold Medal (Team Norden)
S75: WJC Gold Medal (Team Norden)
------------------------------------------------------------
TRANSACTIONS:
S72: Signed as UDFA with Detroit Falcons
S73: Drafted 16th overall by Detroit Falcons
S74: Drafted 6th overall by Montreal Patriotes
------------------------------------------------------------

ISAK SOGARD | D | RETIRED
NAME: Isak Sogard
BIRTHPLACE: Bergen, Norway
HEIGHT: 6'2"
WEIGHT: 220 lbs
NUMBER: 4
------------------------------------------------------------
SHL CAREER STATS
------------------------------------------------------------
SHL PLAYOFF STATS
------------------------------------------------------------
SMJHL CAREER STATS
S68 STL: GP: 7, G: 0, A: 3, P: 3, +/-: 1, H: 16
S69 KEL: GP: 0, G: 0, A: 0, P: 0, +/-: 0, H: 0
TOT: GP: 7, G: 0, A: 3, P: 3, +/-: 1, H: 16
------------------------------------------------------------
SMJHL PLAYOFF STATS
S68 STL: GP: 16, G: 0, A: 9, P: 9, +/-: 10, H: 16
S69 KEL: GP: 0, G: 0, A: 0, P: 0, +/-: 0, H: 0
TOT: GP: 16, G: 0, A: 9, P: 9, +/-: 10, H: 16
------------------------------------------------------------
IIHF CAREER STATS
------------------------------------------------------------
AWARDS/HONOURS:
------------------------------------------------------------
TRANSACTIONS:
S68: Signed as UDFA with St. Louis Scarecrows
S69: Drafted 2nd overall by Kelowna Knights
------------------------------------------------------------

KAARLO KEKKONEN | LW | RETIRED
NAME: Kaarlo Kekkonen
BIRTHPLACE: Akaa, Finland
HEIGHT: 6'4"
WEIGHT: 220 lbs
NUMBER: 82
---------------------------------------------------------
SHL CAREER STATS
S54 TEX: GP: 50, G: 5, A: 13, P: 18, +/-: -5, H: 12
S55 TEX: GP: 50, G: 10, A: 16, P: 26, +/-: -11, H: 19
S56 TEX: GP: 50, G: 21, A: 23, P: 44, +/-: 4, H: 23
S57 TEX: GP: 66, G: 26, A: 40, P: 66, +/-: 37, H: 23
S58 TEX: GP: 66, G: 28, A: 47, P: 75, +/-: 37, H: 15
S59 TEX: GP: 66, G: 31, A: 39, P: 70, +/-: 34, H: 27
S60 MTL: GP: 66, G: 29, A: 37, P: 66, +/-: -21, H: 55
S61 MTL: GP: 66, G: 30, A: 30, P: 60, +/-: -13, H: 89
S62 PHI: GP: 66, G: 40, A: 51, P: 91, +/-: 18, H: 47
S63 PHI: GP: 66, G: 21, A: 50, P: 71, +/-: 23, H: 58
S64 PHI: GP: 66, G: 35, A: 32, P: 67, +/-: 36, H: 51
S65 PHI: GP: 66, G: 21, A: 37, P: 58, +/-: 18, H: 57
S66 PHI: GP: 66, G: 18, A: 24, P: 42, +/-: -21, H: 142
S67 BUF: GP: 66, G: 20, A: 30, P: 50, +/-: -8, H: 69
S68 BUF: GP: 66, G: 17, A: 17, P: 34, +/-: -4, H: 117
TOT: GP: 942, G: 352, A: 486, P: 838, +/-: 124, H: 804
------------------------------------------------------------
SHL PLAYOFF STATS
S54 TEX: DNQ
S55 TEX: GP: 4, G: 2, A: 0, P: 2, +/-: -2, H: 2
S56 TEX: GP: 4, G: 0, A: 0, P: 0, +/-: -6 , H: 1
S57 TEX: GP: 5, G: 1, A: 1, P: 2, +/-: -3, H: 1
S58 TEX: GP: 12, G: 3, A: 6, P: 9, +/-: 2, H: 6
S59 TEX: GP: 16, G: 4, A: 7, P: 11, +/-: 3, H: 10
S60 MTL: DNQ
S61 MTL: DNQ
S62 PHI: GP: 6, G: 3, A: 4, P: 7, +/-: 5, H: 8
S63 PHI: GP: 6, G: 0, A: 0, P: 0, +/-: -1, H: 6
S64 PHI: GP: 4, G: 1, A: 0, P: 1, +/-: -7, H: 3
S65 PHI: GP: 7, G: 4, A: 3, P: 7, +/-: 4, H: 6
S66 PHI: GP: 7, G: 2, A: 4, P: 6, +/-: 1, H: 10
S67 BUF: GP: 4, G: 0, A: 1, P: 1, +/-: -2, H: 3
S68 BUF: GP: 17, G: 9, A: 4, P: 13, +/-: -6, H: 34
TOT: GP: 92, G: 29, A: 30, P: 59, +/-: -10, H: 87
------------------------------------------------------------
SMJHL CAREER STATS
S49 DET: GP:5, G: 0, A: 1, P: 1, +/-: -1, H: 0
S50 DET: GP: 50, G: 9, A: 12, P: 21, +/-: -6, H: 47
S51 DET: GP: 50, G: 16, A: 22, P: 38, +/-: 8, H: 42
S52 DET: GP: 50, G: 29, A: 33, P: 62, +/-: 19, H: 58
S53 DET: GP: 50, G: 19, A: 31, P: 50, +/-: 25 H: 5
TOT: GP: 205, G: 73, A: 99, P: 172, +/-: 45, H: 152
------------------------------------------------------------
SMJHL PLAYOFF STATS
S50 DET: GP: 10, G: 2, A: 3, P: 5, +/-: 1, H: 10
S51 DET: GP: 7, G: 2, A: 4, P: 6, +/-: -4, H: 8
S52 DET: GP: 10, G: 6, A: 3, P: 9, +/-: 6, H: 10
S53 DET: GP: 17, G: 3, A: 4, P: 7, +/-: 0, H: 7
TOT: GP: 44, G: 10, A: 10, P: 27, +/-: 3, H: 35
------------------------------------------------------------
IIHF CAREER STATS
S50 FIN: GP: 12, G: 3, A: 1, P: 4, +/-: -4, H: 1
S51 FIN: GP: 12, G: 0, A: 2, P: 2, +/-: -2, H: 5
S52 FIN: GP: 12, G: 1, A: 0, P: 1, +/-: -3, H: 3
S53 FIN: GP: 12, G: 1, A: 1, P: 2, +/-: -8, H: 1
S54 FIN: GP: 12, G: 3, A: 2, P: 5, +/-: -3, H: 0
S55 FIN: GP: 12, G: 1, A: 5, P: 6, +/-: -5, H: 2
S56 FIN: GP: 12, G: 0, A: 3, P: 3, +/-: -2, H: 0
S57 FIN: GP: 12, G: 5, A: 4, P: 9, +/-: -6, H: 0
S58 FIN: GP: 12, G: 5, A: 8, P: 13, +/-: -6, H: 4
S59 FIN: GP: 12, G: 3, A: 3, P: 6, +/-: -3, H: 12
S60 FIN: GP: 12, G: 11, A: 4, P: 15, +/-: 12, H: 12
S61 FIN: GP: 14, G: 7, A: 10, P: 17, +/-: 10, H: 12
S62 FIN: GP: 15, G: 6, A: 8, P: 14, +/-: 8, H: 8
S63 FIN: GP: 13, G: 4, A: 4, P: 8, +/-: 6, H: 6
TOT: GP: 174, G: 50, A: 55, P: 105, +/-: -6, H: 66
------------------------------------------------------------
AWARDS/HONOURS:
S52: 1st Team All SMJHL
S52: Jared Hanson Trophy (SMJHL Points Leader)
S52: Roberto Martucci Trophy (SMJHL Goals Leader)
S52: Raymond Lindsay Trophy (SMJHL Players MVP)
S52: Ideen Fallah Trophy (SMJHL Awards Committee MVP)
S53: 1st Team All SMJHL
S53: Ron Bolt Trophy (SMJHL Most Sportsmanlike)
S53: Four Star Cup champion (Detroit Falcons)
S59: Challenge Cup champion (Texas Renegades)
S60: Jeff Dar Trophy Nominee
S60: All SHL 3rd Team
S60: SHL All-Star
S61: IIHF Bronze Medal (Finland)
S61: SHL All-Star
S62: Ron Mexico (MVP) Nominee
S62: All SHL 2nd Team
S62: IIHF Gold Medal (Finland)
S62: SHL All-Star
S63: SHL All-Star
S64: SHL All-Star
S64: IIHF Gold Medal (Finland)
------------------------------------------------------------
TRANSACTIONS:
S50: Drafted 8th overall by Detroit Falcons
S51: Drafted 31st overall by Texas Renegades (GM Pick)
S51: Signed ELC with Texas, 3 seasons @ 8 mil
S54: Signed extension with Texas, 3 seasons @ 9 mil
S57: Signed extension with Texas, 3 seasons @ 12 mil
S60: Signed extension with Montreal, 2 seasons @ 8 mil
S62: Signed extension with Montreal, 1 season @ 4 mil
S62: Traded to Philadelphia Forge
S63: Signed extension with Philadelphia, 1 season @ 6 mil
S64: Signed extension with Philadelphia, 1 season @ 5 mil
S65: Signed extension with Philadelphia, 1 season @ 5 mil
S66: Signed extension with Philadelphia, 1 season @ 4 mil
S67: Signed as Free Agent with Buffalo, 2 seasons @ 8 mil
------------------------------------------------------------


DANIEL KARLSSON | RETIRED
NAME: Daniel Karlsson
BIRTHPLACE: Los Angeles, California
HEIGHT: 6'2"
WEIGHT: 210 lbsNUMBER: 7
------------------------------------------------------------
SHL CAREER STATS
S42 TEX: GP: 1, G: 0, A: 0, P: 0, +/-: 0, H: 0
S43 TEX: GP: 50, G: 4, A: 22, P: 26, +/-: -11, H: 73
S44 TEX: GP: 50, G: 8, A: 24, P: 32, +/-: 4, H: 64
S45 TEX: GP: 50, G: 6, A: 32, P: 38, +/-: 8, H: 60
S46 TEX: GP: 50, G: 5, A: 19, P: 24, +/-: -9, H: 55
S47 TEX: GP: 50, G: 9, A: 29, P: 38, +/-: -7, H: 117
S48 TEX: GP: 50, G: 17, A: 32, P: 49, +/-: 1, H: 41
S49 TEX: GP: 19, G: 7, A: 8, P: 15, +/-: 0, H: 17
S49 SFP: GP: 31, G: 6, A: 20, P: 26, +/-: 6, H: 93
TOT: GP: 351, G: 62, A: 186, P: 248, +/-: -8, H: 520
------------------------------------------------------------
SHL PLAYOFF STATS
S43 TEX: GP: 0, G: 0, A: 0, P: 0, +/-: 0, H: 0
------------------------------------------------------------
SMJHL CAREER STATS
S40 STL: GP: 50, G: 3, A: 12, P: 15, +/-: 2, H: 58
S41 STL: GP: 50, G: 4, A: 31, P: 35, +/-: 7, H: 53
S42 STL: GP: 50, G: 1, A: 26, P: 27, +/-: -9, H: 59
------------------------------------------------------------
SMJHL PLAYOFF STATS
S40 STL: GP: 5, G: 1, A: 2, P: 3, +/-: 0, H: 4
S41 STL: GP: 4 G: 0, A: 1, P: 1, +/-: -1, H: 3
S42 STL: DNQ
------------------------------------------------------------
IIHF CAREER STATS
S41 USA: GP: 10, G: 0, A: 1, P: 1, +/-: 1, H: 0
S42 USA: GP: 10, G: 0, A: 0, P: 0, +/-: -1, H: 12
S43 USA: GP: 10, G: 0, A: 0, P: 0, +/-: 0, H: 0
S44 USA: GP: 10, G: 1, A: 5, P: 6, +/-: 6, H: 7
S45 USA: GP: 10, G: 1, A: 6, P: 7, +/-: 7, H: 17
S46 USA: GP: 12, G: 1, A: 4, P: 5, +/-: 8, H: 12
S47 USA: GP: 12, G: 1, A: 4, P: 5, +/-: 5, H: 26
S48 USA: GP: 12, G: 0, A: 0, P: 0, +/-: 1, H: 18
TOT: GP: 86, G: 4, A: 20, P: 24, +/-: 27, H: 92

------------------------------------------------------------
AWARDS/HONOURS:
S43: Named to SHL All-Rookie Team
S44: Ranked #74 on Top 100 SHL Players Of Today list
------------------------------------------------------------
TRANSACTIONS:
S40: Drafted 1st overall by St. Louis Scarecrows
S41: Drafted by Texas Renegades (GM Rule)
S41: Signed ELC with Texas Renegades, 3 years @ 1.5 mil
S44: Signed extension with Texas Renegades, 3 years @ 9 mil
------------------------------------------------------------


SVEN KARLSSON | C | RETIRED
NAME: Sven Karlsson
BIRTHPLACE: Örnsköldsvik, Sweden
HEIGHT: 6'3"
WEIGHT: 210 lbs
NUMBER: 28
------------------------------------------------------------
SHL CAREER STATS
S26 POR: GP: 50, G: 9, A: 16, P: 25, +/-: -1, H: 6
S27 POR: GP: 50, G: 11, A: 15, P: 26, +/-: -20, H: 13
S28 LAP: GP: 50, G: 7, A: 25, P: 32, +/-: 6, H: 43
S29 LAP: GP: 50, G: 16, A: 27, P: 43, +/-: -4, H: 3
S30 LAP: GP: 50, G: 15, A: 20, P: 35, +/-: -12, H: 5
S31 LAP: GP: 49, G: 11, A: 21, P: 32, +/-: -3, H: 42
S32 TOR: GP: 51, G: 16, A: 24, P: 40, +/-: 10, H: 32
S33 TOR: GP: 50, G: 14, A: 13, P: 27, +/-: 7, H: 13
S34 TOR: GP: 50, G: 15, A: 29, P: 44, +/-: 6, H: 42,
S35 TEX: GP: 50, G: 13, A: 29, P: 42, +/-: 9, H: 48,
S36 TEX: GP: 50, G: 11, A: 35, P: 46, +/-: 5, H: 28,
S37 TEX: GP: 50, G: 16, A: 21, P: 37, +/-: 2, H: 28,
S38 TEX: GP: 50, G: 19, A: 25, P: 44, +/-: 13, H: 18,
S39 TEX: GP: 50, G: 15, A: 36, P: 51, +/-: 17, H: 36,
S40 TEX: GP: 50, G: 22, A: 26, P: 48, +/-: 12, H: 13,
TOT : GP: 750, G: 210, A: 362, P: 572, +/-: 35, H: 358
------------------------------------------------------------
SHL PLAYOFF STATS
S26 POR: DNQ
S27 POR: DNQ
S28 LAP: DNQ
S29 LAP: DNQ
S30 LAP:  DNQ
S31 LAP: DNQ
S32 TOR: DNQ
S33 TOR: GP: 11, G: 4, A: 7, P: 11, +/-: 4, H: 7
S34 TOR: GP: 7, G: 1, A:5, P: 6, +/-: 2, H: 13,
S35 TEX: GP: 6, G: 2, A: 1, P: 3, +/-: -7, H: 2,
S36 TEX: GP: 16, G: 4, A: 9, P: 13, +/-: -1, H: 8,
S37 TEX: GP: 4, G: 0, A: 2, P: 2, +/-: -4, H: 4,:
S38 TEX: DNQ
S39 TEX: DNQ
S40 TEX: GP: 0, G: 0, A: 0, P: 0, +/-: 0, H: 0
TOT : GP: 44, G: 11, A: 24, P: 35, +/-: -6, H: 34
------------------------------------------------------------
SMJHL CAREER STATS
S25 DET: GP: 32, G: 5, A: 8, P: 13, +/-: -11, H: 14
TOT : GP: 32, G: 5, A: 8, P: 13, +/-: -11, H: 14
------------------------------------------------------------
SMJHL PLAYOFF STATS
S25 DET: GP: 5, G: 0, A: 1, P: 1, +/-: -3, H: 2
TOT: GP: 5, G: 0, A: 1, P: 1, +/-: -3, H: 2
------------------------------------------------------------
IIHF CAREER STATS

------------------------------------------------------------
AWARDS/HONOURS:
S26: Made SHL Debut for Portland Admirals
S26: Made IIHF Debut for Team Sweden
S27: Named as alternate captain of Portland Admirals
S27: Won IIHF Silver Medal
S28: Won IIHF Gold Medal
S28: Ranked #85 on Top 100 SHL Players Of Today list
S29: Named as alternate captain of Los Angeles Panthers
S29: Won IIHF Gold Medal
S29: Ranked #64 on Top 100 SHL Players Of Today list
S30: Ranked #78 on Top 100 SHL Players Of Today list
S31: Stripped of LAP alt. captaincy
S31: Suspsended for a game for unsportsmanlike conduct
S31: Ranked #74 on Top 100 SHL Players Of Today list
S32: Ranked #46 on Top 100 SHL Players Of Today list
S33: Ranked #90 on Top 100 SHL Players Of Today list
S34: Named as alternate captain of Toronto North Stars
S34: Ranked #63 on Top 100 SHL Players Of Today list
S35: Won IIHF Silver Medal
S35: Ranked #56 on Top 100 SHL Players Of Today list
S36: Challenge Cup champion (Texas Renegades)
S36: Ranked #60 on Top 100 SHL Players Of Today list
S37: Ranked #46 on Top 100 SHL Players Of Today list
S38: Ranked #52 on Top 100 SHL Players Of Today list
S39: Ranked #20 on Top 100 SHL Players Of Today list
S40: Named Head GM of Texas Renegades
------------------------------------------------------------
GM AWARDS/HONOURS
S41: Won Lance Uppercut Award (Best GM)
S41: Won Joe McKeil Award (Best Coach)
------------------------------------------------------------
TRANSACTIONS:
S25: Signed by Detroit Falcons as UDFA
S26: Drafted 15th overall by Portland Admirals
S26: Signed ELC with Portland Admirals, 3 years @ 9 mil
S28: Traded from Portland Admirals to Los Angeles Panthers
S28: Signed extension with Los Angeles Panthers, 5 years @ 17.5 mil
S32: Traded from Los Angeles Panthers to Toronto North Stars
S33: Signed extension with Toronto North Stars, 2 years @ 15 mil
S35: Traded from Toronto North Stars to Texas Renegades
S35: Signed extension with Texas Renegades, 3 years @ 15 mil
S38: Signed extension with Texas Renegades, 3 years @ 18 mil
------------------------------------------------------------

Appreciate the kind words guys. SHL creates somewhat of an escape for me and I appreciate it for what it is. Yall are great.

3 time Four Star Cup Champion S40-S42
S43 Jesster Trophy Nominee Winner

Scored my first SHL goal in just my second SHL game. 2. Manhattan Rage , James Dekens 1 (Mikael Talo 1, Sigurd Hansen 1) at 18:39

Dude, so sorry for your loss. I'm sure it took a lot for you to post this. I can empathize with using this place to get away from really big RL problems. Hang in there, man.

So sorry about your loss, I hope writing that was cathartic in a way, it was an awesome tribute. Sending positive vibes from the SHL community!