S47 PT #4 - Naked and Afraid: SHL Edition

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S47 PT #4 - Naked and Afraid: SHL Edition

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DeletedAtUserRequest
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#1

05-11-2019, 02:37 PM (This post was last modified: 05-20-2019, 10:04 AM by DeletedAtUserRequest.)

Discovery Channel takes the ubiquitous survival show theme to the next level by stripping it to its bare essentials. In "Naked and Afraid: SHL Edition!" 3 SHL players from differant teams will meet in a very unique way: stranded in a dangerous desolate location, without food or water, and they're completely naked! these 3 players will tackle some of the world's most hostile climates while encountering new and deadly insects and animals. They will need to surmount physical challenges to create shelter, forage for food and find water. But as the days wear on and the danger ramps up the mental challenge can become unbearable... Will any of them be strong enough, physically and mentally, to last 21 days NAKED AND AFRAID?

Written task: You are 1 of the 3 participants in this 21 day stint in the jungle!.. they have dropped you off, given you a map, asked for your clothes and left you there with nothing but your 1 survival item as you try and find the other 2 SHL players and hopefully survive the situation!

Tell the site about the highlights of your time on Naked and Afraid!.. those major moments that helped define your stint in the wilderness... be as elaborate as you like with the minimum being 150 words or more. PT@Twitter will highlight some of the journeys along the way! (**Tag all involed**)

Graphic task: Create a Pomo poster of the epsiode in which you are in. Poster should include:
- title with a discovery channel logo
- you and the 2 other SHL participants in the jungle
- Player names
- 3 Bullet points/wording on the highlights of the stint.

Additional Information:
THIS PT IS FOR SHL PLAYERS AND SEND DOWNS. IT IS NOT FOR SMJHL ROOKIES.

You will receive 3 capped TPE for fulfilling all requirements.
This PT will close Sunday, May 19 at 10PM EST.

Welfare claims from either PBE or the NSFL are accepted! *if you’re claiming welfare and have a different username on the affiliates site then you need to state that in your post to get credit.*

Any questions/concerns, please PM me.
Note: Tasks with malicious intent will not be graded.

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Fordyford
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#2

05-11-2019, 02:55 PM

SMJHL S47 D Special: Tony Ford was dropped into the middle of the Amazon. Straight away, he walked around to look for his teammates. And who did he see but Jax Duggan cutting through the bushes towards him. "Vancouver are still wank y'know, and what is that??" he said when first seeing Jax, gesturing towards his crotch area.

Corey Kennedy, the other survivor, decided to go hunting on day 5, to try to look for some protein to help them survive. He succesfully managed to kill a Bushmaster, a large but venomous snake, which would feed the group for a few days. Unfortunately, he didn't properly watch his surroundings and turned around to see... Another snake having it's head sliced clean off by Tony Ford, who happened to be nearby. A close escape for the survivors, but one that provided them with plenty of food.

Its day 18, and the survivors have a problem. They have lost their pot, and have no way to purify water. Fortunately, Tony Ford establishes a genius method of waterproofing their bags, and they can use them instead. Fortunate, because 3 days without water would've spelled an end for the survivors.

Day 21, and it's time for extraction. Only one problem. It's from the middle of an infested and dangerous river. They can't make a swim for it, so the survivors fashion a raft from straightish trees they cut down, and it just stays together long enough for them to get picked up. A great success for these 3 survivors.

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hotdog
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RIP Dangel

#3

05-11-2019, 02:59 PM

ITT: people saying that other players have small dingalings

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Dangles13
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AKA: Dangies

#4

05-11-2019, 03:01 PM

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bana
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S35 Challenge Cup Champion

#5

05-11-2019, 03:24 PM

It's the show where you either get to see some hot ladies with blurred out tits, or them gross asses as you watch them climb up those steep hills full of that shitty clay that likes to break off. On this weeks episode, for some odd reason the show decided to expand to the Simulation Hockey League. For the stint of 21 days, the league has allowed 3 players from the Anaheim Outlaws to head out into the jungle and try and earn bragging rights - as well as a donation of $25,000 to whatever charity they want. Pretty neat, huh? Sure. If you like mosquito's biting your penis as you try and sleep in the rain. Hiro Fujikawa, Jerry "The Snake" Mander and Nick Connolly were all dropped off in remote areas of the jungle in Sri Lanka where they will be trying to survive for 21 days in the jungle... NAKED AND AFRAID.

Each member is allowed to bring one item with them that will help their chances of survival over the next 21 days. Jerry Mander has decided to bring a fire starter, Nick Connolly has brought a massive cut axe named "Thor" and Hiro Fujikawa brought a tarp with straps.

Hiro Fujikawa Survival Profile:

Kung Fu master. Maybe could catch him some grub.
Most Japanese people are pretty smart - or thats what the stereotype says
Tarp should keep him warm and dry, while also maybe being utilized for catching some food.
Used to hike when younger. Likes to build stuff with his bare hands.
Athletic and stuff

Survival rating: 6.9

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JamesT
Moderators
Cozy Connoisseur

#6

05-11-2019, 04:22 PM

I never thought that i would end up in a situation where i would be stranded naked and with only a map and some water, i need to find the other two SHL players so we can survive the 21 days of being in the jungle. The other two players that happened to be on this stint with me in the jungle are @Mack and @~~Mike Izzy~~ . Boy was i glad to see some familiar faces and then some knowing that we all had to survive for 21 days. With us being hockey players it's a common occurrence to see other men naked so this wasn't something that was going to be an issue for us. What was going to be an issue is how to get shelter, water, food and being safe.

We happened to stumble upon a salt spring late in the jungle and this was where we managed to get our water supply from. For food, we managed to catch some fish and created a bonfire to cook them as well. Mack and Willy were very resourceful and i cannot be more grateful for them for helping me keep sane for the 21 days in the jungle. We all however did run into some mosquitoes in the jungle and developed some nasty rashes, but other than that i hope i never have to participate in this adventure ever again!

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bluesfan55
IIHF Federation Head
Too young for this shit

#7

05-11-2019, 04:33 PM (This post was last modified: 05-16-2019, 02:08 PM by bluesfan55.)

Naked and Afraid: Edmonton Edition

We dropped three of the best players Edmonton had to offer in Joseph Lombardi, Teddy Cuddles (@"cpetrella") and Brady MacElroy (@caltroit_red_flames ) in the Canadian wilderness outside of Whitehorse, Yukon. This is how they fared.

Joseph: arrived extremely drunk (maybe due to his Irish nationality), and stripped his clothes off with aplomb. "YA WANT TO SEE ME FECKIN BODY? WELL HERE YA GO!". Seemed to cope well with the cold temperatures despite spending three seasons of his career in San Francisco.

Teddy: just a massive hardass. No one messed with Teddy. He choked a bear when it tried to steal his stash of barbeque potato chips and cooked and ate it the next day. Kind of scary.

Brady: for a defenseman, he seemed pretty offensive. When something came at him, he went beserk. Someone steals his stuff: He'd run buck naked at ya and punch you silly (even with his dick rubbing against ya). Scared the living daylights out of everyone, but Joseph seemed to stand against him despite his short stature.

A conclusion: Lombardi handled the cold very well. It’s obvious he has a lot of beer before we sent the Blizzard boys out, so he thrived. Cuddles used his former power forward skills to succeed in the cold. He’d kill whatever he needed to eat. McIntyre was more of the wildcard. Seemed alright despite his offensive nature.

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Armada

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Armada

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Steelhawks

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Switzerland

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pride

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Ireland

ty to @High Stick King @EvilAllBran and @Ragnar for the sigs

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DeletedAtUserRequest
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#8

05-11-2019, 05:16 PM (This post was last modified: 05-11-2019, 05:55 PM by DeletedAtUserRequest.)

Left in the Brazilian Amazon with nothing but my strong knowledge of the STHS i moved through the jungle cautiously, uncertain if i would ever get back to the Big Parm to play another SHL game! One of the first things i noticed is the insects here have no respect for bounderies.... #balls-izzy were being bitten like a warm baguette...

Thankfully it didnt take long before i heard the voices of humans and through the timber came Kit Smeb of Chicago and Chuck Crutchfield of Texas!! i was never happier to see opposing players before! this was now our team and we had to win this one!

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After some pleasantries we each displayed the 1 survival item we were allowed to bring and I must admit that Chuck and Kit didnt seem all too impressed with my choice.

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Day 4 was a memorable one in this journey as the 3 of us put our talents together to build our home in the jungle.

It's day 17 and food has become a major issue for the 3 of us... i have not had a thing to eat other then them delicious #brand-izzy bran muffins back on day 2 and i fear that Clutchfield, Smeb and i may not have enough energy for the final day's extraction hike if we dont find something to eat!

With what little energy we had left, it was time for us to make a stand!.. so we traveled north towards the riverbank hoping to find some wildlife to hunt.. we walked all day long in the simmering heat with nothing to show for it... hunger had taken over! and i was ready to tap out.. when out of nowhere Kit took out his his bow and began creeping towards something...

He got in position... and fired an arrow!.....

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It was a memorable moment for me as Chuck, Kit and I shared SHL stories with dirty water and delicious blobfish under the fire of the nights jungle... Kit Smeb and I havent always seen eye to eye but we broke bread on day 17 and had some good laughs.. turns out hes a good dude and i think the experience has given us both a healthy new respect for each other. To be honest its ashame that had to end on day 18..

Sadly the long hike exposed Kit to a pathogen and when he woke up on day 18 his foot was looking strange.

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With Chicago deep in the playoff hunt the medics felt it was time to get that foot looked after. Kit didnt want to leave.. the man has the heart of a survivolist!.. and Chuck and I decided to dedicate the rest of the time to Smeb and his will to win.

My time in the Brazilian Amazon was one of the hardest things ive ever done and it inspired me to start a new non profit organization called 'convenience stores in the wild' ... so being hungry in the jungle isnt a death sentence.

Thank you @ligma and @kit for sharing this journey with #Izzy.

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kckolbe
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#9

05-11-2019, 05:32 PM

http://probaseballexperience.jcink.net/i...st&p=77692

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Wawazat
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#10

05-11-2019, 06:21 PM (This post was last modified: 05-11-2019, 09:14 PM by Wawazat.)

Halifax team meeting room
Things are slightly strange here, there's cameras and mics every where and there's low whispers from the veterans that there's the possibility of more personnel moves and chicanery a foot.
The team recently informed that beloved star winger and chronic underachiever Jimmy Slothface was traded to Whaleville so the team was slightly on edge.
The GM turns to the three strangers seated in the front of the room and introduces the producers of the Discovery channel show "Naked and Afraid". They step to the podium and they start their rehearsed sell job about how this is a great show and this is great for the league.
And then Tiger Wawazat stands up and pointedly asks "What EXACTLY is this, cause I've never heard of it?"

The three look at each other and then the junior member of this trio steps up and stutters that it's a reality show where you are dropped in the wilderness and have to survive ...nnnnn, naked(.and with that she blushes! and giggles ) And it's all basicly faked with a film crew and paramedics and a complete catering service so it's really just...
Tiger interrupts her..
"Wait, this Bull shit was agreed to by who?"
With that Tiger looks around the room at his Raiders teammates. Then at his GM ..
The senior member of the trio of Discovery channel producers. Steps forward and in his slightly nasal tone says ..
"This was cleared by the league and it's gonna be a Great chance to sho....
Tiger interrupts him..
"...And I Called It."
The Discovery Producer pulls down his glasses and snidely says "You called it?? What's that?"
Tiger walks to the door and turns back to the podium and says..

[Image: bullshit-large.jpg?w=580]

[Image: bullshit-large.jpg?w=580]

And with that exits the room.

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CanadianDuck
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#11

05-11-2019, 07:36 PM (This post was last modified: 05-11-2019, 07:36 PM by CanadianDuck.)

My time on the show Naked and Afraid was a strange experience. Never have I had to deal with the strange challenges I had to face, but as it turned out, I had some familiar faces to help make the situation easier. My former St. Louis Scarecrow linemates Nicholas Williams @Nictox and Adam Taylor @DannyMethane were chosen to attempt this challenge with me. Our chemistry as linemates really made this adventure much easier by using our different strengths to our advantage. Taylor was tasked with making the shelter, Williams searched for the food and water, and I was tasked with collecting the wood and starting the fire. The biggest challenge came when Williams (while carrying the food back to the camp on day 19) injured his ankle scaring away a large animal. Thankfully the injury was just a sprained ankle and wasn't more serious. We spent the nights reminiscing about our playing days together and our current teams. (And complaining about those damn mosquitoes!) It was an enjoyable experience and I expect more SHLers will be on the show in the future.

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CampinKiller
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#12

05-11-2019, 07:36 PM

Simmer claim

Patriotes

Usa

Whalers

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Ace
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#13

05-11-2019, 07:45 PM

Tigole Bitties washed ashore on the desolate island, his massive manhood swaying with each step. The first thing he did was find a stick and fastened a sharp rock from the beach onto the end of it to create a primitive hatchet. “This is going to be easy, I’ve played Rust enough to know what’s going on.”

Bitties used this hatchet to harvest fiber to fashion into a type of hat to keep the beating sun off of his shoulders. From the deep jungle, he heard a high pitch scream. Scrambling to pursue, he bushwacked his way through thick vegetation only to see Teddy Cuddles being sexually abused by a large, mature Orangutan. “I didn’t know you liked redheads Teddy!”
The orangutan snapped his focus onto Bitties, and clearly was intimidated by the size of his manhood. The orange behemoth scurried off, leaving Cuddles unabused, at least physically. Bitties felt a gust of air hit his face, as a large, grizzled man flew by him swinging by a vine. This man was completely naked, sans a loincloth that he made from leaves.

“Was that Joe Kurczewski?” Bittes asked Cuddles.

“I know that ass, it has to be Joe.”

MORE TO FOLLOW

@JKortesi81' @"cpetrella"

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tweedledunn
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#14

05-11-2019, 09:07 PM

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#15

05-11-2019, 11:03 PM

I don't know how the hell I got roped into doing "Naked and Afraid", but here I am, naked and afraid, and trying to survive 21 days in this damn jungle. They dumped me in the middle of nowhere and gave me my machete and off I went. I was told there are two other players out there so my plan is to find them as quick as possible.

Days 1-5: I took it slow so as to not get injured and make my journey even worse. I found a creek so I was able to get some water in me. Lucky for me, a couple of fish washed ashore and I was able to get them and have something to eat. The nights are long, but I'm still hanging in there.

Days 6-15: Things are starting to get hazy now. Hunger is kicking in as a man can only eat so many leaves. I need to find a rabbit or a snake or something. My tears have sustained my thirst so no issues there. I really hope I find those other players soon, I need some help with the hunting.

Days 16-20: I came across disturbed land, it could very well be tracks left from the others. I followed them as far as they could go. There were some delicious bugs along the way and I think I'm going insane. I hear noise in the distance. I'm getting close.

Day 21: I am one with the jungle now. It has absorbed my essence and I'm no longer a man. I've finally found the others, but it's too late for me. I tell Cuddles and Knouse to leave me be in my new home. Apparently I passed out and they dragged me back to civilization. Game day tomorrow, might not be fresh.

@"cpetrella" @ckroyal92

(302 words)

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