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*Scrufdaddy* · 05-15-2022, 08:06 PM

PLAYER PROMPT

Slip McScruff keeps everything private (possibly, I've been writing these for so long that I can't keep track) from the mundane to the wild and weird. The weirdest thing to happen to him was also the weirdest thing. He has never told anyone so we only know weird bits and pieces that we can collect from publicly available information.

FACT: On December 9th 2009, Slip McScruff logs into Facebook from his home in Massachusetts posting cryptic pictures of pigs and birds. Empire State of Mind currently topped the charts in America. Slip McScruff goes dark at midnight.

FACT: On December 10th 2009, Slip McScruff's cell phone pings off 3 different cell towers in Finland. No records of his departure from the United States.

FACT: On December 11th 2009, Angry Birds released internationally. Slip McScruff logs into Facebook from his home again and deletes pictures posted days before.

FICTION? Slip McScruff was granted the gift of prophecy and transported to Finland by extra terrestrials to stop the release of Angry Birds onto the world. He fails and covers his tracks the next day. The infection cannot be reversed on our society, we now have insurance commercials and multiple feature length movies about... birds that don't like pigs?

mcpumpkin · 05-15-2022, 08:10 PM

hockey prompt

instead of being from earth 1776 the lenny on earth 1777 comes from not a long generational line of inbred humans seeking to create the perfect human, but from a scientific lab that had perfected the human genome and decided to make the worlds finest hockey player. however he does not play defense, he plays champion, and instead of being on the philly forge he plays for a new, tastier team called the BIG BETS BIG WINS NO L'S ONLY W'S CASINO LOCALTEAM PLUS PHILANTHROPY FUNPEOPLE. instead of having a face that looks like an open autopsy, benny gawk is truly captain america, sporting the blondest of mullets, so fine and full of flow no one would dare question it. he leads the BBBWNLOWCLTPPF in heroic displays of patriotism on the ice, and only films extremely forced gambling commercials off the ice, because this is earth 1777, the jackpot multiverse.
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Renomitsu · 05-15-2022, 08:19 PM

WSBL Affiliate, please note signature indicating difference in username

Mr. Finland · 05-15-2022, 08:27 PM

Player promt
You know, Anton is from Vatican. All promising prospects met in Vatican City. Also Anton Mihailov was asked to be part of that festival where all people can see mighty Pope playing hockey too. Mihailov was excited and ready to take challenge. He eat very well at morning and do some exercises before he had to go bicycling to center of Vatican City. There was a lot of people already cheering around of ice and Pope have even his own cheerleader team to cheering his team. As you might guess, also cardinals was part of the team and Pope was of course the only one, the might and holy captain. However hockey festival ended very scary moment, because someone from opposite team tackles Pope so hard that he almost died. Cardinals and people tried to help pope and give to him his heart attack medicines and bring him back to bedroom.

Guriinwoodo · 05-15-2022, 08:31 PM

PBE Affiliate

**brickwall35** · 05-15-2022, 08:36 PM

In this mysterious alternate world, there is also a Montreal-based team in their league, the NHL. The Canadiens, they are called, keeping up the Quebecois tradition of fucking up Anglo-Saxon spelling. But they are not the team I would compare our SHL's Patriotes to. The Canadiens were one of the founding members of the NHL, and even predate it, and have a long history of success and championships. No, the team I would compare the Patriotes to would be the Columbus Blue Jackets. Not only do they share a similar patriotic theme, and somewhat similar colors, they are also one of the newest teams in the NHL, and unfortunately, like the Patriotes, haven't had that much post-season success. But the Jackets have begun to come into their own, after years of building an identity and a foundation, they seemed poised to make the next step sooner rather than later. I can definitely see the Patriotes following in their footsteps, as the Pats are still in their infancy as compared to the Columbus club. Hopefully the future of the Patriotes matches the past of the Canadiens, and the promise of the Blue Jackets.

*LarryTheMVP* · 05-15-2022, 08:43 PM

The coolest, or maybe weirdest story about DAD is simply the moment people started to call him DAD. He had to replace his father when he died, but it is not the main reason why people call David, DAD. When he used to play minor hockey, he always was the most serious and mature one in his team. When things started to get light up, David was always the one who calmed everybody. He always told speeches before games and he cheered up his teammates. When David spoke, everybody shut their mouth and listened to what he had to say. David rapidly gained respect from his teammates, but also his opponents. He started to gain a reputation of a good human being who always step up for his people. One day, David's teammate told him right after David reprimand him to be more serious in practices : What? Are you my dad? David responded with : I think I have to be everybody's dad because you clearly need one. Everybody else laughed and it was at this moment that David earned his nickname DAD, which it's his initials.

189 words

fever95 · 05-15-2022, 08:48 PM

HOCKEY PROMPT
I would say that the Tampa Bay Barracuda are most similar to the Edmonton Oilers and no, I am not just saying that because the Oilers are my favourite NHL team. Edmonton has a very skilled group of forwards much like us here in Tampa Bay with the likes of veterans, James Ronlain, Michael Fitted, Ambacas Cuddles, Zoltan Topalo, Dwight Knight and Panda Pacino. Mix in some younger forwards such as Aleksander Kozlov, Vladimir Petrov and Marco Barengrub and we have a skilled core of forwards. We do have some younger defenseman such as Ethan Bouchard, Finn von Murphenstein and Luc Blouin as well as veterans Axel Foley, Colin Lambert and Elwuf Jericson with a clear cut #1, just like Darnell Nurse in Edmonton. Much like Mike Smith for the Oilers, we have an aging goaltender who is still able to compete at a high level in the form of Strom Chamberlain and like the Oilers, we have yet to get over the hump as a group in the playoffs and compete for championships.
(174 words)

mastersheep · 05-15-2022, 09:03 PM

PBE Affiliate

***Big Newff*** · 05-15-2022, 09:05 PM

Player Prompt
The most remarkable thing to happen so far for patches is being nominated for the rookie of the year award as a defenseman was pretty crazy being put in a group of some of the best rookies in his class was a massive achievement in his young career on that note I feel I did deserve the nomination notching 40 points from the blueline and being on the second pairing, as well another incredible thing that has happened was the rebranding of Anaheim into Yukon while patches were there it was amazing to see the transformation from the arena to the awesome new jerseys we get to rock for the season, I am very pleased to be part of this rebranding when it happened we were all in shock thinking about a place to live but now I've really grown attached to Yukon and the amazing city and people that are from there, to hopefully many seasons with the Yukon Malamutes.

164 words

***sve7en*** · 05-15-2022, 09:05 PM

Player Prompt

As a teen Jimmy had a scary run in with the Austrian police while working a summer job. Jimmy was spending the summer stocking shelves and filling orders for a local shop to make money for the hockey season. The summer was going smoothly, but one of the shop owners was growing frustrated with the other and was looking to buy the other out of their part of the shop. Near the end of the bought out owner's tenure, Jimmy was stocking the front displays when he noticed police cars pulling up to the neighboring shop. A bit of a gossip, Jimmy leaned up against the window looking to see if he could see anything happening. With nothing visible, Jimmy returned to his work, only to see more police pulling up to the other neighbor. As he wondered about how weird it was for both neighbors to get visits from the police at the same time, the back door crashed open and special forces swarmed the shop. Jimmy spent 2 hours in custody where he learned that the owner was selling drugs out of the orders he was packaging. It's now Jimmy's favorite icebreaker and happy hour topic.

201 words

***Nike*** · 05-15-2022, 09:09 PM

A far fetched story about Nike Kickz Jr? Well, there really aren't that many too crazy. Unless you consider the fact that Kickz Jr. was actually born with a lobster claw for a hand. Yes, you read that correctly. When Kickz was born in Boston, it was told as an old wives tale that his mother had been addicted to lobster of all kinds during her pregnancy and that caused the now hockey star to be born with one hand that instead of resembling a human hand, looked like the claw of a lobster. It was bright red all over. It was covered in barnacles and had the deep and muscular strength that you see on some of the most mature lobsters in the ocean. Kickz mother ate everything from under the sea while carrying the Bostonian. She loved a full lobster boiled with butter. But she was also known to mix in a lobster roll, lobster raviolis, or even lobster bisque. Its no wonder he came out the womb and clawed his way to the SHL.

*Flowseidon* · 05-15-2022, 09:41 PM

Chad Nickelback has been coming in a putting up strong offensive numbers from the back end to really help jump the teams pressure up a notch. This is done by a quick moving game with a strong pass. I like to think that while I don't have the hair or the beard to match, I might compare well to a Brent Burns style player. This point can be doubly made by having played a season as a forward, which burns has been known to do from time to time.

For the Battleborn, right now we're a season after losing a number of strong and influential players and have a bunch of young promising forwards who managed to put in a good strong season. A good comparable for this part of the build might be the New York Rangers. Some exciting young guns are in the pipe, and they came out and already showed that they have a place in the league and will be strong contributors for the next seasons.

ACapitalChicago · 05-15-2022, 09:51 PM

The weirdest thing that ever happened to Joseph Weston is the time that he was almost traded, and then was not allowed to be traded. In a hockey related move, yes it does have to do with hockey, Joseph Weston was about to be traded by the Calgary Dragons to the Los Angeles Panthers as a move that would feature him moving to Defense for some returning pieces and other parts of the trade. It almost happened, it was in by the deadline, but the Simulation Hockey League Head Office denied the trade as one of the picks could possibly belong to another team based on a technicality that had not happened yet. Head Office claimed that this was black and white and not allowed to be modified in any way, and this resulted in a multi-team trade that would've shaken the League not happening. It fucking sucked but hey what can you do

S66 Damian Littleton

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***Pythonic*** · 05-15-2022, 09:55 PM

hockey prompt

The National Hockey League... such a mystery to the Simulation Hockey League's Specters' Valtterri Kauppinen. In that universe, his doppelganger, a man named Vladislav Kamenev, seems to have gone off to an even odder league - the Kontinental Hockey League, which seems to be the Simulation Hockey League universe's version of the Victory Hockey League: the place where those who can't make the big league go to play. From what he knows about the National Hockey League, it seems that the best comparison to his Simulation Hockey team, New Orleans, would be either the New York Rangers or the New Jersey Devils - moreso the Rangers. They are an up and coming team filled to the brim with a few great veteran players, alongside a handful of great rookies, with a star goaltender. The only weakness seems to be the defense - the Rangers have perhaps one defenseman, like the New Orleans Specters, that is a true top pairing guy.

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