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Mayuu · 08-13-2018, 10:58 AM

Here's the undisputed list of the best names and hence best players in the S42 SMJHL draft.
This list took a lot of analysis and time and serves as the optimal and final list to all the SHL GM's when selecting their players.

Tony Pepperoni @"TommySalami"
What can go wrong with a dude name Tony Pepperoni? His first names indicate he's a mobster, and the second one cements that he's got ties to Italy.Regardless of his skill you need to pick him first, when we asked Tony he simply replied "I'm someone you want to be on your team"
Snipperri Baardownen @HoldenKenne
What leveled of fucked up must you be as a parent if you name your kid Snipperri Baardownen? I've yet to ask Snipperri if his parents were meth addicts or just simply left unattended since birth. Regardless he seems to have turned out to be an OK human.
Kjell Spolander @Kjell
Kjell Spolander, just let that live in your mouth a bit, SPOOO-lander.. Kjell. Iconic is the first thing that comes to mind.
Kjell being a classic Swedish name that only men above 60 are named has a certain prowess to it. You do not not want to draft Kjell SPOO-lander.
Juha Teräväinen @Jimothy
Teräväinen. it carries precedent. It means, I can and I will stop the Zamboni with my own body. Are you stronger then a Zamboni?
Dank Boija @Snussu
I know what Dank's parent were smoking when they were pregnant. Dank looks like a Finnish Snoop Dog who's never smiled in his entire life.
His name though, 5/7 very Dank.
Jeff Brogen @Flowseidon
My name Jeff, yes we know Jeff. Although cursed with the first name of Jeff his last name makes up for it. Brogen has a nice ring to it, and it's been in his family of Bro's since Jesus walked this earth. You could say his family has been Bro's for Gen(erations).
Kalle Spolander @Kalle
Kjell's brother with a lesser name at least share the same last name which more then makes up for his first name. Kalle is usually a nick name for Carl but for some reason parents started giving nicknames instead of real names to their kids. SPOO-lander is still one of the best last names in this draft.
Marc Palicka @BaseScoutX1
I say Marc, you say Palicka, I say my balls. If you ever been tea-bagged when killed in Halo I bet it was Marc or one of his brothers.
A guy with the name Palicka cant go wrong.
Thomas Speardane @Benevolent Thomas
Speardane is just simply a solid name. Must have been vikings!
Bust @Smirnov Light
You know what makes you feel good?
Bustin makes me feel good. Bust will make your team feel good!
Ignatius Blunt @Gaia Mormont
Dank Boijas long lost brother, they would make the life of commentators around the world better
"Dank Boija with the saucer to Ignatius Blunt, who lets one rip from the box"
Gvidas Kazlauskas @adamantium
Did you ever would actually tie a knot with your tongue? Wait no more, just say Gvidas Kazlauskas ten times quickly!
Mikey Pickles @Mike_n_Ike
HERE COMES MIGHTY PICKLES, I mean Mickey Pickles.
If Mikey doesn't do well in the SHL and retire at least he can start up a business selling the best Pickles in states. The Mighty Pickles!
David Fantobens @Fantobens
David is a pretty boring name, but Fantobens is a great one, I'm actually not sure if I like the first or the last part better, both David Fanto and David Bens would be great names in itself
Nate Forsberg @NamelessNate
Any one named Forsberg is bound to have a great career in hockey! The history don't lie!