After allegations began surfacing that the nephew of Texas Renegades GM Puolivalmiste, Raakaliha has spent copious amount of team funds settling his gambling debts, the GM decided to take the responsibility for the hiring and stepped down from his position. Consequently, assistant GM RedCapeDiver also decided to do the same and after a quick search for a suitable replacement, the position has been given to freshman general manager Yagoyi, whose job will be to see the franchise through this following rough patch - trying to cope with the financial debts and also the aging team’s transition into another age of rebuild.
As a first solution to the team cutting costs in order to be able to stay above water financially, it has been decided to cut into the team’s transport budget by ending the leases on all company cars and having everyone including the players use either their own personal means or public transport for all their team-related business, like trips to and from the rink and airport. The team has also dropped their chartered jet and will look to use economy class public flights for travel in the foreseeable future. This approach has reportedly already raised discontent among the team and staff, but the management has responded to this by saying that at least they haven’t cut anyone’s salaries (yet)! Some players have already asked for a trade out of Texas as a result, like two-time Challenge. Cup champion defenseman Mikkel Asmus Sondergard, whose trade to the Los Angeles Panthers was made public just today.
S59 & S62 Challenge Cup Champion - Texas Renegades
S57 Four Star Cup Champion - Anchorage Armada
S57 & S58 WJC / S62, S64 & S66 IIHF Gold Medalist - Team Finland
After 69 shots on net with still no SHL goals to show for it, even the opposition started to feel so sorry for Lemo, that they decided to help him out :D
- Bad pass by Jack Klompus, he gave it right to Lemo Pihl.
- Lemo Pihl rips it to the net...
- Lemo Pihl will find the empty net, that should do it!
Making up this deficit is going to be super easy, barely an inconvenience. First things first, every jersey is going to sponsored out the wazoo. We are going to make those European jerseys look like they barely have any ads on them at all. We are not going to be picky. These sponsors do not even need to be businesses. It’s Jake’s 5th birthday? If you pony up the dough, we will stitch a message somewhere on an Elk. Since jerseys are pretty expensive, we need a workaround for game worn jersey auctions. We have two to make up for this cutback. First, every Elk player will now have to wear a standard white undershirt during every game. These will be auctioned off after every game. Slightly related to this, every Elk will have their…drippings…bottled and sold for are most dedicated collectors. With these few tweaks in our business model we will surely make up for the momentary monetary situation we find ourselves in.
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Ah yes the great powers of nepitism. How most sports teams get owners, players, and random useless front office staff. Well it appears here in Nevada we are in trouble thanks to the final category. The useless front office staff. Mr useless as Ill call him has absolutely destroy the budget and in a panic after a coup of the owner Gunnar has called me to fix the team. Do not fear my fellow Battleborn. I got this! I took one finance class in college!
Okay so first off we stop flying to games and start taking the bus because 1.) saving money 2.) idk team bonding or some BS.
The next thing we will do is starting having friendlys against the main SHL teams where they pay us to destroy us. As long as we get 50% of the gate and some kickback as a fee we can make some money back in no time. Especially if we can say, go to Detroit for a minors game then a couple nights later go to Chicago to play the Syndicate and get beat 8-0 but get a huge payoff. This would help the developemment of the players by making them face tougher competition sooner.
Thing number three is going to be all the cities we go we will start doing autograph signings. From Gunnar to myself and back everyone will be made available for an hour for signings the only thing is it will cost.
Paper $5
Body Part $10
Card/anything that makes it go up in value $20
Hockey puck or stick $50
Do that in every town you go to and give people cheap autographs and boom! Extra thousands of dollars for the coffers in Nevada that need it so bad.
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Rich Moderators
S30, S31, S39 Challenge Cup Champion
Posts:3,002 Threads: 178 Joined: Jun 2015 Reputation:26
Discord: rich_shl
Pronouns: Undisclosed
Player: Adam Prpich
Rikard Bjerg plays in the SHL for the love of the game, so he doesn't need a huge contract to be happy playing for the San Francisco Pride. He's also been very smart with his money, living relatively frugal, in a small, fully paid-off condo just outside of San Francisco. His family in Sweden is well-off, as his father is a business owner in his hometown of Gothenburg, while his mother works at the local college as the Dean of Students, so they're willing to help him if he ever needs money, though that's rare, as he's managed to put away quite a nest egg from his years playing for the Pride before this financial mistake by the ownership. Bjerg has faith that the GMs, who brought them through the rebuild of the S50's, will be able to recognize their mistake and correct it quickly.
The team is starting a Kickstarter to get some crowdfunding going. One of the benefits of this method is that the people "kickstarting" the process is not guaranteed to see anything come out of their support, well ok a benefit for the team not the fans. The Rage are in a rebuild so why not take the chance to Kickstart the S69 Cup Champions? Perks at the lower level (costing the same as a ticket) is a place in the stands for the first playoffs the team enters. Perks at the mid-tier level results in getting game worn items from the eventual cup final, such as socks, shoulder and elbow pads as well as neck guards from those that use it. At the top tier the supporter would get the chance to take a picture with the cup after Manhattan has claimed it from the stands while the cup is on the ice.
If there would be a financial situation where the team would be at risk for not having enough money to survive I would definitely lower my contracts cost after all, I do not play for the money. I am here to play hockey and competing with the other teams on the ice. Evert Jansson has always had a humble look at life and he's not thirsty for money at all. I have always valued team loyality the highest and I try to keep myself on the ground by not having a very big salary.
I'm just all for that easy life where I can live in my small house with a family. I don't need to live in a mansion, have the newest sportscars, luxury watches or exclusive clothing that other players often want to buy with their salary, but I just see it as pointless consumation and it just doesnt fit my lifestyle.
When the great Jumbo and the fabulous Ruggsy asked Shoyo Hinata to take a pay cut, his first reaction of Shoyo was to be surprised. He was certain that the team owners were rich and that Shoyo would be paid a huge salary. But Hinata understood that Angus McFife cup collection has a price. Indeed to keep Angus happy the owner buys a new cup every day.
After being surprised, Shoyo realized that he did not care. He doesn’t care about money. He just wants to play hockey and have fun with his teammates. Shoyo lives alone in a small loft. Every day he eats beans. He does not have any need for money. Recently he discovered a trading card addiction but he quickly beat it. He doesn't need cards and he does not need money. He has crippling debts but he just ignore the collectors and everything is alright. Shoyo is now a volunteer hockey player.
The first thing the team does is get a sponsor for literally everything that it can sponsor. Sponsor on the jerseys, helmets, pants, and whatever. I think the innovative thing we could do is give sponsors the right to sponsor our logo. In the sky of the Aurora logo could be a Depends Adult Under Garment logo. Then we'll sell season ticket licenses. That way fans aren't able to buy a season ticket without first buying a right to buy a season ticket. Then we will charge 12 bucks for a 12 oz beer. One thing we can do to keep our costs down is forfeit every single game against eastern conference teams. That way we never have to fly to games on the east, which would save immensely in plane fair. Last we threaten to move from Winnipeg to Arizona unless the fans generate 50 million dollars to pay our team for us. With this plan we don't even have to pay the players. It's a full proof plan, what could go wrong?
Knowing the current contract hell that the Platoon could be in based on how many top end players are on the team, I can understand them asking me, the disappointment, to take less on my next contract. But it's a real insult that they want to pay me in zucchinis and pumpkins. I am not going to take vegetables as payment and they can't make me. I am going to want at least $500 a game AND the vegetables to sign back with the Platoon after this season. If someone can offer more than $500 and vegetables I will probably end up signing there. Vegetables just don't cut it. Also on top of that they have to promise I play with Raiden or Jones on my same line for the foreseeable future. I can't win a faceoff to save my life and I need those dudes to do that so that they can hand it off to me so I can put the puck in the net. Remember, Nikiforov only cares about goals.
We make our own NFTs because that's how you win in this dumb scam. They'll look like trading cards and people will pay too much money for them. We'll go through and generate one card for each player for each season and each team. Players that have been traded produce more cards that way. There is a finite supply so the price is artificially inflated, but we milk the league history for as much as we can. Extra cards for every single record that was broken, sell them to the record holders who probably have fat contracts.
We'll play to the emotions of the general public and promise them that the money will go to saving the team. However, we'll just rug-pull and pocket all the money ourselves. We'll use the nephew as a scapegoat so people think he ran off with the money. Now that we look like victims in some tragedy, we'll get the government and charities involved to actually save the team. Of course, we launder a bit of our earnings back into the fund to maintain appearances.
Newfoundland couldn't have gotten as far as it did with a toxic culture like that. We've got to do everything we can to cut out such a cancer and move forward as a team.
Firstly, we're going to publicly apologise to the team themselves.
Next, we're going to spend even MORE money making a massive PR campaign to help our now tarnished image. Charity work for the surrounding area, donations to the rainforests that are harmed by NFT creation, the works.
Once we get a little more good PR going, we're going to raise the price of every single soda we sell by a single dollar. This should give us roughly another 10 million to play with (stats taken liberally from google) which will allow us to pay off the foolish purchases of the owner's nepotistically installed son, as well as the PR campaign and the donations. And, with the positive press we've gotten, we might just score a new sponsorship deal out of it.
(Prompt 1, 172 words)
HIT SOMEBODY Cheers to tweedledunn and supertardis101for the awesome signatures!