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taterswc · 02-05-2023, 06:45 AM

CREATIVE PROMPT – Makrus is always a fan of fun contract negotiations. My favorite contract stipulation was from back on the Edmonton Blizzard. Makrus was guaranteed a cup one way or another. If the team didn’t win one then he was to have a miniature cup with his name on it. In fact Bfine still owes me that cup. My favorite contract talks involved special care for Makrus’s pet wolf Zephyr. A personal wolf walker, special care facility on site to keep the wolf during game days. I haven’t done anything fun in recent contracts. Maybe my next contract will have special practice times just for Makrus. I don’t like waking up before noon. Makrus also needs a personal assistant. Someone to keep Makrus on track in life. Makrus is far to easily distracted. Lets not even talk about this short run in the SSL. Also Makrus likes tacos and needs a taco bar in the locker room.

*.simo* · 02-05-2023, 08:03 AM

Contracts are always an interesting time. It's the only real time in your career where you have some leverage. Your team will do whatever they can do sign you so you can get to ask for some crazy things. I am more of a big picture guy over being a details person. I will tell my agent what are the big ticket items I want and then it's his job to make that happen. A few things I always make sure to include is that I get a team paid for beer delivery service on every Friday night. There isn't much better than getting home for a relaxing weekend and you get a new carton of beers arive on the front door step. Highly recommend this to anyone. Another one I ask for is to have my locker as far away from the captain as possible. I talk way to much so if I am beside the captain I will just end up pissing him off and I'll get to play a lot less minutes. So this is just a good thing that works out for everyone.

Thunfish · 02-05-2023, 10:47 AM

Quote:Written Task: What special conditions do you want in your players contract? Is there a special snack that has to be in your locker stall every morning? A specific type of coffee stocked in the machine? A certain way the trainer must tape your stick or you'll throw a tantrum and quit? Tell me about what special requirements if any your player wants in their contract and why. (150+ words)

It's kind of hard to think about special conditions on a contract since this is actually Anton Harrier's final contract. He's retiring at the end of it as I genuinely believe I could use a break from things and he's already doing regression anyways, something that I must be honest about... I kinda couldn't be arsed to keep doing that for long. It might be a tad selfish to think so and all but I also could use the spare time to focus on more important things. I still don't have a job, for example, and that's something I'm keen on fixing as soon as possible; I also have a thesis to finish for post-graduation and an exam I need to take to work as an accountant here in Brazil so I imagine those are things that will get my plate quite full.

I like being here and I especially like being a member of the Manhattan Rage for they are a team with loads of nice people I like talking with and I'm happy that they were keen on having me around regardless of whether I contribute in-game or not. As such, I'd rather not think about it. It's a good PT, by the way, I just don't feel like I can think of anything that would be realistic so to speak.

Waters · 02-05-2023, 10:55 AM

Buddy. I can't believe you're even asking this question. This is ridiculous. Ben Water negotiates every contract himself. Here is a picture for your mind of ben waters at the negotiating table: "Nah. You got me fucked up if you think that I'm gonna take this horrible deal!!!!" "Sir. We are offering you 60 million" "Yeah, and I'm not taking it. prick." And then after that waters successfully negotiates down to 25 million. He wants to make sure that everyone is making the best financial decisions possible. He considers the GMs of the Edmonton Blizzard his close friends and he doesn't want them to have financial problems. After that, typically, Waters and the GMs go out for a goofy little gamer moment dinner where they have the biggest steaks and fricking ball out. YEah. They fricking ball out and they get the most expensive foods. That's how Ben Waters negotiates his contracts.

***luke*** · 02-05-2023, 11:29 AM

The special condition on the contract given to me by the New England Wolfpack of the Simulation Hockey League, is that I would put into the contract is that when we win the cup, the ice must be covered with hats for 1 day during the year. All the hats should be multicolored and they should have different logos on them. All of the local hockey teams, and with all of that. Those hats would be auctioned to charity for rescuing local puppies and cats from different school.s Next, what you want to do, is that in the contract is 10 billion dollars in order to fund my own hockey league. The Luketd hockey league where I bring all of the different teams over from the VHL, and the SHL in order to have one big super league. Where Manhattan would win forevere and ever. And Manhattan Rage would not win at all! so Hannah wont win!!!

ACapitalChicago · 02-05-2023, 12:44 PM

John Brown's contracts are always the minimum available, he views it as rather selfish to take anything more. However, in return for doing so, John Brown demands that the team make an equivalent charitable donation to a variety of different charities. There are no special snacks in his locker stall, there is no specific coffee brewed a specific way each morning, and not anything regarding his stick or tape. The very notable specifics is that John Brown asks his teams that are paying his bills to donate their time and charity to groups fighting the modern day slavery found in things like for-profit mass incarceration. It is critically important that we are aware of our history and the effects it has in the modern day, and when groups find ways around the abolishing of slavery through the 13th amendment. All men are created equal and John Brown strives to free them from their chains of bondage.

S66 Damian Littleton

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***Whitecap*** · 02-05-2023, 12:59 PM

Creative prompt:

Svoboda has very much been a team player his whole career. Taking minimum contracts, trying to be the best playmaker he can to set up his teammates, doing whatever his team needed of him.

This season, however, has been particularly tough on him, with the Panthers slogging through a rather tough season. That said, Svoboda has had enough, and has resolved to negotiate on tougher terms for his next contract.

He's going to milk as much money out of his team as possible, for as long of a term as possible. He'll have a clause which prevents his coach from benching him when he will inevitably stop passing the puck to his teammates. There will be a huge bonus for when he hits 50 goals, because goals will be all he'll care about. Lastly, he'll demand a clause where his teammates will be instructed to pass him the puck at every possible opportunity. This will be the new direction of his career.

164 words

Matteo · 02-05-2023, 01:00 PM

Player Prompt:
Mat Smith has no agent, he's just represented himself for his entire career. He's happy with his choices, but from the outside looking in you'd definitely say that he left money on the table. For his entire career he's been making at least $2 million less than other goalies of his caliber. His mindset is that he loves the game and would do it for free if he could, so why not just take the team's first offer. He would probably have a good $10 to $20 million more in his career if he actually hired an agent or negotiated for competitive contracts. The only season where he actually made more than most others in the league was when he was a rookie in the SMJHL. As a free agent, Quebec City offered him $3 million to play with them while two others offered $2 million. He thought at the time that contracts were the main way to earn money so he went with the biggest one so he could buy more training.

Tesla · 02-05-2023, 01:10 PM

Player Prompt

Agent Tesla: So Mr. Heinrich we have quite the fun set of interview questions for you today!

Dave Heinrich: Joy. What's first for these fun questions?

Agent Tesla: Who do you go to when it comes time to negotiate your contracts for help? This one should be quite the easy answer for you.

Dave Heinrich: I have absolutely zero say in my contracts so technically I don't go to anyone. Pretty sure my agent just rubber stamps whatever the team puts in front of them anyway so why bother asking anyone for help?

Agent Tesla: Goes to his incredibly intelligent Agent Tesla. Got it in one! Now how long have you known them?

Dave Heinrich: Um okay. It varies depending on what timeline you want to go with as I think they said in outerverse time it has only been about fifteen months, inside our standard reality it has been a little over eight years I think, and in terms of how long it has felt given virtual time they dragged me out of hell only to make me experience horrors the likes of which the entirety of human history would have trouble conjuring so I am going to go with eons.

Agent Tesla: A little under a decade. Excellent! Where did you meet them?

Dave Heinrich: In the hell of my home universe where they traded what I am pretty sure is the equivalent of a non-aggression pact in return for my soul.

Agent Tesla: A small village in Norway. Good enough. Why do you trust them?

Dave Heinrich: They literally have a contract that gives them power over my soul and could choose to rend me from existence on a basis so permanent that not even omnipotent overdeities would have any hope of putting me back together. It's either trust them or live my life so plagued by anxiety that I would be completely unable to function.

Agent Tesla: They saved your life when you were at your lowest. How nice of them! Another wonderful interview Dave how would you like to celebrate?

Dave Heinrich: Go out for slushies?

Agent Tesla: Consider it done!

Code:
Word Count: 356

Samsung virtual assistant · 02-05-2023, 01:12 PM

Tomen got me a Panther, as per discussed in our contract talks.

[Image: GCFaF2X.png]

Slappydoodle · 02-05-2023, 01:41 PM

PLAYER PROMPT

There is only agency Walt "Clyde" Frazier trusts when it comes to handling his hard earned finances and negotiating for future revenues. Walt turns to the attorneys of the venerable institution of Dewey, Cheatem and Howe. Where their motto is "We do everything in our power to insure that our consultants receive the training they need to convince our clients that what we are doing is in their best interests."

The hard working attorneys of Dewey, Cheatem and Howe will leave no stone unturned in the pursuit of every last penny they can get their hands on. They have been known to literally steal candy from a baby and turn widows out into the street if it meant another dime in their pockets in honor of their hard work and dedication to Walt's bankroll here are a few jokes

. A mother and son were walking through a cemetery, and passed by a headstone inscribed:
“Here lies a good lawyer and an honest man.”
The little boy read the headstone, looked up at his mother, and asked “Mommy, why did they bury two men there?”

The National Institutes of Health have announced that they will no longer be using rats for medical experimentation.
Instead they will use attorneys.
They have given three reasons for this decision:
There are more attorneys than there are rats.
The medical researchers don’t become as emotionally attached to the attorneys as they did to the rats.
No matter how hard you try, there are some things that rats won’t do.

A lawyer was asked if he’d like to become a Jehovah’s Witness.
He declined, as he hadn’t seen the accident, but would still be interested in taking the case.

A lawyer, a Hindu Priest and a Rabbi...A lawyer, a Hindu Priest and a Jewish Rabbi were traveling through the country. They stopped at a farmhouse to see if the farmer had any accommodations. The farmer said, “I have one spare room which will hold two, but the barn ain’t so bad.”
So the three travelers drew straws to see who would go to the barn, and the Hindu Priest lost. He went to the barn and the Rabbi and the lawyer went to sleep. A few minutes later the Hindu Priest came back and said, “I am so sorry, but there are cows being kept in the barn under the most horrible circumstances. I cannot stay there.”
The Rabbi and the lawyer looked at each other, and the Rabbi stepped forward and offered to take the barn. The Hindu Priest and the lawyer went to sleep, and the Rabbi went to the barn. A few minutes later the Rabbi came back and said, “I am so sorry, but there are pigs being kept in the barn. I could not possibly stay there.”
The lawyer agreed to go to the barn, and the Hindu Priest and the Rabbi went to sleep.
About five minutes went by and the two heard a knock on the door. They got up, opened the door, and saw the cow and pig.

Jumbobone19 · 02-05-2023, 02:07 PM

Written Task:
Contract time is a great time. You get to see where the top free agents will sign. If they stay with their old team or go elsewhere. Its also interesting to see the pay and the conditions that they agree to. For me, I have been with Baltimore since I was drafted. I do not plan on leaving this team unless Baltimore tells me that they want to explore other options. My first condition is that. Is the offer from Baltimore. The next condition is, is my contract helpful financially for the team. Am I hurting the team by taking more money when that could go elsewhere to sign a better FA. So I always look for the HTD (Home town discount) and either a NTC or NMC. All 3 conditions are always what I look for. In the locker room, I require an endless supply of GFuel Electric Strike. It is a source for all my energy and it tastes amazing.

-162 words

***Canadice*** · 02-05-2023, 02:35 PM

Creative Prompt

Tomas doesn't really have any weird stuff that was put in his contract negotiations except for two minor things. The first one is that the team should take weekly trips to IKEA for team building, for instance purchasing a piece of furniture and spending the day trying to build it, and while they are there partake in the Swedish delicacies offered, such as the Swedish meatballs and lingonberry jam. The second thing Tomas managed to pull off during the contract negotiations was the addition of a Swedish themed day on the ice where the team and all the fans are able to skate around a maypole while singing many traditional songs like Små Grodorna. During these days everyone in the management team needed to dress up in traditional Swedish clothes and lead the entire procession from serving the food to leading the sing alongs with all the participants that show up.

Code:
Words: 152

***Rankle*** · 02-05-2023, 02:37 PM

One thing that Pork Tenderloin must absolutely have written into his contract is that after each game there must be a salt water tank sitting in the locker room for him to brine in after each game completes. See, being a lumbering, walking hunk of meat, Tenderloin needs to go soak for AT LEAST 3 hours after every game or the muscle fibers of which he is comprised will tense up and require multiple days worth of massaging and tenderizing in order to get him back in working order. The salt water will soak and allow him to brine, leeching out all of the lactic acid that's built up inside him and allowing his muscles to actually relax after a few hours of strenuous exertion playing a hockey game. This is something that he would require after every game, and thus having it written into his contract that it must be available is something that he would require before signing.

Code:
160 words

Chomp Chomp Water Dog Barracuda

Scarecrow Noises Scarecrows

***liebolda*** · 02-05-2023, 02:38 PM

Creative Prompt

Negotiating contracts is usually a stressful time for many players and head offices alike. Fortunatly for Adam Liebold his negotiations are fairly easy. He has a couple special requests that are always included. The main reguest is that he wants a team friendly deal. To ensure the sucsess of the orginazation he wants to ensure that his payment will not eat too much of the salary cap and cause issue signing other players. The next request is that during one of the away trips there will always be a team sponsered party to build the team comraderie and to blow off some steam. There is no limit to the spending for the night so it is a significat cost to the team. Last years event cost the team 100,000. They make the mistake of allowing the team to head out to Vegas. The final item that is included for Adam is that he has 15 tickets to every game on the front row for his friends and family.

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