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Option 2: Gordon William Gibbles was surprised when he was approached by the Salmon King Sushi Emporium and Fish Market in downtown Great Falls. Gibbles had never been to the establishment before and he personally does not eat seafood, a trait he shares with his father, Collin Gibbles. GW Gibbles decided to at least hear out the offer and what the company wanted for an endorsement but after about thirty minutes he knew he was not the right fit. While he has inherited a passion for cooking, he couldn't endorse a restaurant he would never personally go too. He was able to point the Salmon King Sushi Emporium and Fish Market to a few of his teammates who better fit the clientele they were trying to attract. He knew he wouldn't be able to sit on the set of the commercial with a straight face as they tried to feed him all manner of seafood while he would be trying not to lose his lunch and spew all over the set.

     

Option 1:

The issue here is that I know I’d lose a fight to a chicken.  In fact, this league has a very Furious one that is incredibly talented and could easily knock Mikko out with a quick swipe or two.  Not only that, this chicken is well known to be a dual sport athlete and is able to take out Mikko not only in the SHL but also in the SSL.  Mikko cannot hide.  So will Mikko try and start a fight next game? Not a chance? Because the only chance you have of surviving a battle against a furious chicken is to hope that you encounter a happy chicken, which is often rare and traditionally only encountered in public settings when cameras are around

In other news, Beck has offered to step up and fight whatever chicken plans to attack Mikko when he is not ready for it, let’s hope that it doesn’t happen any time soon though.

Written Task: Your player has been singled out by hockeyfights dot com as a total pushover who would probably lose a fight to a chicken. This is brought to your attention by a teammate, who thinks it's hilarious. Do you respond to this by instigating a fight next game, or by posting a picture of yourself eating chicken to that thread on hockeyfights dot com?

Sean Davies would honestly find this hilarious as well. I mean, he's not exactly a mountain of a man like Hodor out there, but c'mon. A chicken? Really? He could take chicken for sure. A goose? No way. Those things are crazy. But a chicken? There is absolutely no way he's getting rocked by an early stage tender. You can bet that Davies is going to be hopping online and creating an account to goof around on the forum with the fans and poke fun at himself, but there's still absolutely no way he's going out there and starting fight for no good reason. He's here to play hockey. If he wanted to partake in fisticuffs he would have been a boxer. Fans can talk smack about him being a wuss all they want, but what do they know? If they're so sure he's a wimp then they can come on over to hop in the ring and take him on. Charity boxing tournament anyone?

Sean Davies || LD


Name: Sean Davies
Birthplace: Liverpool, England
Height: 6'4"
Weight: 210 lbs
Number: 22
------------------------------------------------------------

S66 SMJHL Draft: Drafted 16th Overall by Anchorage

S67 SHL Draft: Drafted 16th Overall by New England 

------------------------------------------------------------
Career Statistics:

SMJHL Regular Season
S66 ANC:| 66 GP | 5 G | 21 A | 26 P | -6 |  106 SB  | 100 H | 49 TA 

S67 ANC:| 66 GP | 4 G | 14 A | 18 P | +1 |  92 SB  | 156 H | 68 TA

 

SMJHL Postseason 
S66 ANC:| 6 GP | 0 G | 1 A | 1 P | +1 |  17 SB  | 8 H | 6 TA

Option 2:

Matiss is not the type of person to sell something to other people that he does not like. However, he would be all for talking with the owners of the restaurant, and explaining to them that he is not the biggest fan in general of their type of food, but would be willing to help them out in other ways to promote the restaurant. He would be willing to come down to the restaurant during set times of the week to sign autographs and take pictures. By doing that, he will be able to promote both people coming out to the restaurant to see him and also be able to get food while they are there. I think by doing this club between him the team and the restaurant will be good promotions for both the restaurant, and the team to increase popularity. Matiss would be willing to help out one way or another, and would just have to talk to owners and help them promote the restaurant without having to eat any of the food. So whatever the owner would want him to do, he would happily help out.

ISFL +

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Next Friday I would find the first person I could find who had really really really pissed me off in our game for the Hamilton steelhawks and I would pick a fight with them and start fighting them instantly like before the puck even drops I would be like hey you wanna go bad and then they’d be like what the hell why is Tommy fighting Then I’d kick his ass and then drop like three assists on their head because I’m a friggin beast that’s just who I am off and I don’t care hockey fights man. What’s your problem dude I’m a strong man and I can do whatever I want on a hockey ice rink so you know what stop telling me that I can’t fight because I can fight if I really want to. I’m just too Nastia park so I don’t try to fight people that’s just how it is you know can’t be wasting that God given talent and Chuck ? Knox.

Rotticus Scott||LW||4x Challenge Cup, 4-Star Cup, WJC and IIHF Gold||S54||2k+ TPE
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SMJHL Career Stats
SMJHL Career Regular Season G: 35, A: 81, P: 116 PPG: .59
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
SMJHL Playoff Stats
SMJHL Career Post-Season GP: 61 G: 17, A: 24, P: 38 PPG: .62

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
SMJHL Achievements
3x Conference Champion.
2x President's Trophy Winner
WJC 2x Gold, Silver medal
4-Star Cup Champion
S56 Ronan O'Keefe award winner (Top Playoff Scorer)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
SHL Statistics
S57: G: 25 A: 34 P: 59
S58: G: 9 A: 26 P: 35
S59: G: 24 A: 40 P: 64
S60: G: 28 A: 41 P: *69*
S61: G: 24 A: 40 P: 64
S62: G: 34 A: 49 P: 83
S63: G: 21 A: 42 P: 62
S64: G: 40 A: 26 P: 66
Totals: G:205 A: 297 P: 502 (.95 PPG)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
SHL Achievements
Ryan Jesster Rookie of the Year S57
President's Trophy S57. S60
Challenge Cup Winner S56, S58, S61, S63
IIHF Gold Medal S57 (as GM), S58 as player
Quad Gold Club

 
Tommi Koivu || LD || S66 || 3x IIHF Gold|| 1900+ TPE

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Jeffrey Bjelland | Center | Detroit Falcons
Birthplace: Minneapolis, MN, USA
Number: 21
----------------------------------------------

The Murray is a staunch vegetarian and tends to avoid steakhouses as a result.  Early on the media caught wind of the vegetarian diet and they really ran with it calling him The "Mooray" Murray.  The moo is in reference to what is perceived as a cow's diet and also what steak is made of.  Knowing all of this a local Brazilian steakhouse has reached out to The Murray's representation to pitch a series of ads where The Murray gives up being a vegetarian after trying their food one evening.  They initially shut the whole idea down, but later decide to pitch it to him.  To the absolute surprise of no one The Murray was livid at the prospect and immediately declined.  He was, in fact, so offended that he went to his social media channels and called the business out for the tactless pitch.  In the end this gained traction with the fans and the Brazilian steakhouse is no longer a place of business.

Teddy Murphy 4 Teams S58-S70 | 6OA (BAP)
---------------------------------------------------
Career Stats
GP 858|G 125|A 273|P 398|+/- 29|ATOI 20:13|FW 3|GR 62

---------------------------------------------------
Accolades
S59 All-Rookie Team (First ever Sophomore to make the team)


Teddy Park Kelowna Defenseman S54-57 | 29OA
---------------------------------------------------
Career Stats
GP 216|G 23|A 72|P 95|+/- 17|ATOI 21:32|FW 12|GR 66
---------------------------------------------------
Accolades
[url=https://simulationhockey.com/showthread.php?tid=106300][/url]Captain S55-57
S57 All-Star

Prompt 1

Well, first of all, Patya thinking this very rude. Patya have experience with chickens when younger on Russian farm, and Patya telling you, chickens can be much vicious. But, Patya much experience, so Patya definitely am win fight against a chicken. Patya assuming hockeyfights am website for see hockey fights? Patya am go to thread and upload picture of himself eating chicken. Patya just eat chicken nuggets yesterday, and am post about this in mPT thread. Patya not instigate fight because this silly. Patya can assure is not push over. Patya also not turn over. Patya not any of the overs. Is okay for teammate to think is funny because is haha joke, but Patya just want for make sure nobody is taking serious. Patya have for set record straight, you know. Maybe Patya even post pictures of Patya with chickens. Patya have so many possibilities. Maybe Patya even call out hockeyfights owner for want fight chicken. Maybe they am chicken too, Patya not know.

Lore: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

Sig: dirigiblejones, Ragnar, & the5urreal

      

Patya Perevalov || RW || New Orleans Specters || Carolina Kraken || Peak TPE: 2081

Name: Patya Perevalov

Age: 24

Birthplace: Omsk, Russia

Height: 6'1"

Weight: 192 lbs.

Number: 10

------------------------------------------------------------

Regular Season Stats

S60 - CAR - GP: 66 || G: 13 || A: 13 || P: 26 || +/-: +4 || SHT: 83

S61 - CAR - GP: 66 || G: 15 || A: 29 || P: 44 || +/-: +1 || SHT: 137

S62 - CAR - GP: 66 || G: 30 || A: 35 || P: 65 || +/-: +7 || SHT: 194

S63 - CAR - GP: 66 || G: 28 || A: 40 || P: 68 || +/-: +25 || SHT: 194

S64 - MIN - GP: 66 || G: 10 || A: 14 || P: 24 || +/-: -43 || SHT: 112

S65 - MIN - GP: 66 || G: 10 || A: 15 || P: 25 || +/-: -44 || SHT: 85

S66 - NOLA - GP: 66 || G: 16 || A: 33 || P: 49 || +/-: +14 || SHT: 147

S67 - NOLA - GP: 66 || G: 36 || A: 50 || P: 86 || +/-: +34 || SHT: 202

------------------------------------------------------------

Playoff Stats

S60 - CAR - GP: 6 || G: 1 || A: 1 || P: 2 || +/-: 0 || SHT: 6

S61 - CAR - GP: 4 || G: 1 || A: 2 || P: 3 || +/-: 0 || SHT: 6

S62 - CAR - GP: 9 || G: 2 || A: 4 || P: 6 || +/-: +10 || SHT: 26

S63 - CAR - GP: 6 || G: 3 || A: 0 || P: 3 || +/-: -2 || SHT: 14

S64 - MIN - Did Not Qualify

S65 - MIN - Did Not Qualify

S66 - NOLA - GP: 9 || G: 2 || A: 3 || P: 5 || +/-: +3 || SHT: 23

S67 - NOLA - GP: 11 || G: 4 || A: 4 || P: 8 || +/-: -4 || SHT: 30

------------------------------------------------------------

WJC/IIHF Stats

S60 - YG - GP: 12 || G: 1 || A: 4 || P: 5 || +/-: -5 || SHT: 9

S61 - UCORCAL - GP: 12 || G: 3 || A: 5 || P: 8 || +/-: 0 || SHT: 25

S62 - UCORCAL - GP: 12 || G: 3 || A: 5 || P: 8 || +/-: +3 || SHT: 24

S63 - UCORCAL - GP: 12 || G: 6 || A: 6 || P: 12 || +/-: +6 || SHT: 33

S62 - RUSSIA - GP: 12 || G: 0 || A: 1 || P: 1 || +/-: -1 || SHT: 4

S63 - RUSSIA - GP: 12 || G: 1 || A: 1 || P: 2 || +/-: -3 || SHT: 7

S64 - RUSSIA - GP: 12 || G: 2 || A: 4 || P: 6 || +/-: +4 || SHT: 6

S65 - RUSSIA - GP: 12 || G: 3 || A: 4 || P: 7 || +/-: -3 || SHT: 22

S66 - RUSSIA - GP: 12 || G: 3 || A: 2 || P: 5 || +/-: -8 || SHT: 36

S67 - RUSSIA - GP: 12 || G: 1 || A: 5 || P: 6 || +/-: +4 || SHT: 14

------------------------------------------------------------

Career Milestones:

S60 - First goal in game 3 against Anaheim Outlaws

S60 - First OT game winner in game 3 against Anaheim Outlaws (on the first shot)

S60 - Quickest goal scored from the start of a period in game 3 against Anaheim Outlaws (8 seconds)

S60 - First multi-goal in game 3 against Anaheim Outlaws

S60 - First assist in game 7 against Maine Timber

S62 - First hat trick in game 37 against Quebec City Citadelles

S64 - First SHL assist in game 2 against Toronto North Stars

S64 - First SHL goal in game 11 against New Orleans Specters

Awards:

S60 - CAR - Jordan Nugent Hall Award for Most Dedicated Player
S60 - CAR - Alonzo Garbonzo Award for Best Rookie

S61 - CAR - Jordan Nugent Hall Award for Most Dedicated Player

S62 - CAR - S62 SMJHL All-Star

S62 - CAR - Cristoph Klose Award for the Top Forward

S62 - CAR - Jordan Nugent Hall Award for Most Dedicated Player

S63 - CAR - Named an Alternate Captain

S63 - CAR - S63 SMJHL All-Star (voted in)

S64 - MIN - Named an Alternate Captain

S67 - RUS - IIHF Silver Medal

S67 - NOLA - Aidan Richan Award for Most Improved Player

S68 - NOLA - Named an Alternate Captain

Transactions:

S60 - Drafted 5th overall to the Carolina Kraken in SMJHL Entry Draft

S60 - Signed $3,000,000 x 1 year contract with the Carolina Kraken

S61 - Drafted 14th overall to the Minnesota Monarchs in SHL Entry Draft

S61 - Signed $3,000,000 x 3 year contract with the Minnesota Monarchs

S64 - Signed $4,000,000 x 2+1 year contract with the Minnesota Monarchs

S66 - Traded to New Orleans Specters

S67 - Signed 3-year contract with the New Orleans Specters

Jerry has never won a fight in hockey. That's because he has never been in one. he lives in complete fear that one day another player will square up with him, and he will be backed into a corner. He doesn't want to fight, and has no ability to. He posts on social media all the time of him with chickens but nobody seems to be getting the hint.

Somebody in the locker room recently bought him boxing gloves and boxing classes. "You gotta get ready to fight" they said. This has stressed Jerry a lot. One day he will have to fight and on that day he is going to get his teeth kicked in. He only passes puck, he does not know how to pass his fist into somebody's face.

The team can't know this though. They would make fun of him endlessly... Wait, this is getting posted where?

pt pass

Thank you all for the amazing sigs & player cards
 

S31 Eduard Selich  || F || Buffalo Stampede || Peak: 1252
Name: Eduard Selich
Hometown: Fulda, Germany
Height: 5'11"
Weight: 195 lbs
Number: 19
Age: 29
------------------------------------------------------------
Regular Season Career Statistics:
SMJHL:
S30 PGF | GP 50 | G 15 | A 12 | P 27 |  -3 | PIM 8 | HIT 38 | SB 5 |
S31 PGF | GP 50 | G 21 | A 20 | P 41 |  -6 | PIM 18 | HIT 42 | SB 20 |
SHL:
S32 BUF | GP 50 | G 17 | A 19 | P 36 |  +11 | PIM 6 | HIT 54 | SB 13 |
S33 BUF | GP 50 | G 21 | A 25 | P 46 |  +14 | PIM 12 | HIT 44 | SB 21 |
S34 BUF | GP 50 | G 28 | A 35 | P 63 |  +23 | PIM 2 | HIT 3 | SB 22 |
S35 BUF | GP 50 | G 17 | A 17 | P 34 |  -6 | PIM 12 | HIT 13 | SB 17 |
S36 BUF | GP 50 | G 23 | A 24 | P 47 |  +3 | PIM 2 | HIT 37 | SB 15 |
S37 BUF | GP 50 | G 21 | A 27 | P 48 |  +9 | PIM 25 | HIT 74 | SB 15 |
S38 BUF | GP 50 | G 28 | A 27 | P 55 |  +4 | PIM 44 | HIT 42 | SB 12 |
S39 BUF | GP 50 | G 18 | A 21 | P 39 |  +1 | PIM 10 | HIT 48 | SB 23 |
S40 BUF | GP 50 | G 7 | A 15 | P 22 |  -26 | PIM 9 | HIT 48 | SB 11 |
S41 BUF | GP 50 | G 18 | A 17 | P 35 |  +10 | PIM 2 | HIT 5 | SB 11 |
S42 BUF | GP 50 | G 20 | A 21 | P 41 |  +10 | PIM 0 | HIT 5 | SB 10 |
S43 SEA | GP 50 | G 19 | A 19 | P 38 |  +8 | PIM 12 | HIT 47 | SB 7 |
------------------------------------------------------------
Playoff Career Statistic:
SMJHL:
S30 PGF | GP 17 | G 8 | A 13 | P 21 | +7 | PIM 2 | HIT 10 | SB 3 |
S31 PGF | GP 4 | G 0 | A 1 | P 1 | -5 | PIM 0 | HIT 4 | SB 2 |
SHL:
S32 BUF | Did not qualify
S33 BUF | GP 5 | G 4 | A 1 | P 5 | +1 | PIM 0 | HIT 0 | SB 0 |
S34 BUF | Did not qualify
S35 BUF | GP 4 | G 2 | A 2 | P 4 | -3 | PIM 0 | HIT 5 | SB 1 |
S36 BUF | GP 7 | G 6 | A 2 | P 8 | +6 | PIM 2 | HIT 10 | SB 1 |
S37 BUF | GP 7 | G 2 | A 0 | P 2 | -3 | PIM 0 | HIT 12 | SB 0 |
S38 BUF | Did not qualify
S39 BUF | Did not qualify
S40 BUF | Did not qualify
S41 BUF | GP 7 | G 2 | A 1 | P 3 | -4 | PIM 0 | HIT 1 | SB 2 |
S41 BUF | GP 5 | G 1 | A 1 | P 2 | -7 | PIM 0 | HIT 0 | SB 0 |
S43 SEA | GP 6 | G 3 | A 0 | P 3 | -3 | PIM 4 | HIT 7 | SB 2 |
------------------------------------------------------------
IIHF Round Robin Career Statistic:
S30 GER | GP 10 | G 0 | A 0 | P 0 | -4 | PIM 2 | HIT 3 | SB 0 |
S31 GER | GP 10 | G 2 | A 1 | P 3 | +2 | PIM 2 | HIT 4 | SB 1 |
S32 GER | GP 10 | G 5 | A 4 | P 9 | +4 | PIM 0 | HIT 2 | SB 3 |
S33 GER | GP 10 | G 2 | A 1 | P 3 | +4 | PIM 2 | HIT 4 | SB 2 |
S41 GER | GP 10 | G 4 | A 1 | P 5 | -2 | PIM 0 | HIT 0 | SB 1 |
S42 GER | GP 10 | G 1 | A 2 | P 3 | -2 | PIM 0 | HIT 9 | SB 1 |
------------------------------------------------------------
IIHF Medal Round Career Statistic:
S30 GER | GP 1 | G 0 | A 0 | P 0 | +0 | PIM 0 | HIT 0 | SB 0 |
S31 GER | GP 3 | G 0 | A 0 | P 0 | -2 | PIM 0 | HIT 1 | SB 0 |
S32 GER | GP 3 | G 1 | A 2 | P 3 | +4 | PIM 0 | HIT 0 | SB 0 |
S33 GER | GP 1 | G 0 | A 0 | P 0 | -1 | PIM 0 | HIT 1 | SB 0 |
S41 GER | GP 1 | G 0 | A 0 | P 0 | -1 | PIM 0 | HIT 0 | SB 0 |
------------------------------------------------------------
Transactions:
S30 | Drafted #20 in the SMJHL Entry Draft by the Prince George Firebirds
S30 | Signed a 1yr/1.5M deal with  Prince George Firebirds
S31 | Drafted #2 in the SHL Entry Draft by the Buffalo Stampede
S31 | Signed a 2yr/2M deal with Buffalo Stampede
S32 | Signed an 23yr/23M extension with Buffalo Stampede
S34 | Contract Adjustment: 3yr/9M deal with Buffalo Stampede
S41 | Signed an 1yr/3M extension with Buffalo Stampede
------------------------------------------------------------
Noteable events:
S30 | Voted Alternate Captain of Prince George Firebirds
S30 | Organized WJC
S30 | Got the call to play for Team Germany
S30 | Won Zach Miller Trophy (Most Dedicated)
S30 | Won Ron Bolt Trophy (Most Sportsmanlike)
S30 | Won Ronan O'Keefe Trophy (Playoff Points Leader)
S30 | Voted S30 PGF Team MVP
S31 | Voted Captain of Prince George Firebirds
S31 | Named Germany Federation Head and won the Silver Medal
S31 | Nominated for Brandon Holmes Trophy (Top Defensive Forward)
S31 | Nominated for Zach Miller Trophy ( Most Dedicated)
S32 | Voted Alternate Captain of Buffalo Stampede
S32 | Nominated for the Ryan Jesster Trophy ( ROTY)
S32 | Named to the SHL All-Rookie Team
S32 | won the Gold Medal with team Germany
S33 | Named Buffalo Stampede Co-GM
S33 | Damien Littleton Trophy Nominee
S33 | Won Lance Uppercut Award
S34 | Named 1st Team All-Star in the SHL
S34 | Damien Littleton Trophy Nominee
S34 | Aidan Richan Trophy Nominee
S42 | Named Buffalo Stampede Co-GM


Otto Selich||GM||GER S31-S34(26-9-2)||BUF(S33-S34,S42-)||1 Gold & 2x Silver
-----------------------------------------------------------
Round Robin Career Statistics:
S31 GER | 6-4-0 | 18 points | #1 seed Group A
S32 GER | 8-1-1 | 22 points | #1 seed Group A
S33 GER | 7-3-0 | 21 points | #1 seed Group A
------------------------------------------------------------
Medal Round Career Statistics:
S31 GER | 2-1-0 | Silver medal | lost to USA in the Gold medal game
S32 GER | 3-0-0 | won Gold Medal
S33 GER | 0-0-1 | lost in Quarterfinals to Finland


S45 Alexander Selich || D || || Colorado Raptors || Peak: 2134
Name: Alexander Selich
Hometown: Fulda, Germany
Height: 6'10"
Weight: 280 lbs
Number: 19
Age: 18
------------------------------------------------------------
Regular Season Career Statistics:
SMJHL:
S43 KEL | GP 9 | G 1 | A 1 | P 2 |  1 | PIM 0 | HIT 4 | SB 0 |
S44 COL | GP 50 | G 12 | A 14 | P 26 |  8 | PIM 4 | HIT 23 | SB 11 |
S45 COL | GP 50 | G 17 | A 16 | P 33 |  2 | PIM 12 | HIT 35 | SB 7 |
------------------------------------------------------------
Playoff Career Statistic:
SMJHL:
S43 KEL | GP 6 | G 1 | A 0 | P 1 | 0 | PIM 2 | HIT 2 | SB 0 |
S44 COL | GP 16 | G 7 | A 5 | P 12 | +3 | PIM 2 | HIT 3 | SB 6 |
------------------------------------------------------------
IIHF Round Robin Career Statistic:
S43 GER | GP 14 | G 0 | A 3 | P 3 | 2 | PIM 4 | HIT 7 | SB 0 |
S44 GER | GP 14 | G 1 | A 1 | P 2 | -10 | PIM 8 | HIT 7 | SB 4 |
------------------------------------------------------------
IIHF Medal Round Career Statistic:
S43 GER | GP 1 | G 0 | A 0 | P 0 | +0 | PIM 0 | HIT 1 | SB 0 |
S44 GER | GP 2 | G 2 | A 1 | P 3 | +1 | PIM 2 | HIT 2 | SB 0 |
Transactions:
S44 | Drafted #1 in the SMJHL Entry Draft by the Colorado Raptors
S44 | Signed a 1yr/3M deal with  Colorado Raptors
S45 | Drafted #22 in the SHL Entry Draft by the Buffalo Stampede
S45 | Signed a 3yr/1M deal with Buffalo Stampede
Noteable events:

3. Buffalo Stampede , Eduard Selich 5 (Maximilian Wachter, Alexis Metzler) at 16:25
5. Buffalo Stampede , Eduard Selich 6 (Steven Stamkos Jr., Brynjar Tusk) at 19:48
8. Buffalo Stampede , Eduard Selich 7 (Brynjar Tusk, Alexis Metzler) at 13:55
9. Buffalo Stampede , Eduard Selich 8 (Anton Fedorov, Mikelis Grundmanis) at 15:12
10. Buffalo Stampede , Eduard Selich 9 (Dickie Pecker) at 19:43 (Empty Net)

Option 2:

There aren't many types of food that Darnell doesn't like outright. Bits and pieces, maybe, but who can really say that they enjoy an entire type of cuisine? Maybe the one style of place Darnell doesn't really care for is the ol' crab shack. Not necessarily because of the food itself - while not liking crab or shellfish in general, crab shacks do usually have something Darnell II will eat on the menu. It's more about the vibe and the atmosphere. You grow up on the water and see how much you like crab shacks. It's all drunk, sun-baked tourists meandering along the street, shitty Jimmy Buffet cover artists rambling through their rendition of "Brown Eye Girl", which isn't even a Jimmy Buffet song. Shitty merch which, as a local, you'll see constantly. Corny shit on the walls, like "autographed" dollar bills, or coasters, or whatever just stabled up there. Why does every crab shack have a winking mascot? What's with that? Did the crab poke their eye out? Then when your family comes in from out of town to visit, that's where they want to go.

So, no. Darnell would not accept a sponsorship from a crab shack because 1) he can't wink and 2) he has standards.