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Keygan · 05-24-2021, 09:15 PM

Blizzard manager, Connor Tanner, takes to the podium to address a new "All species matter" campaign starting in season 60

"After a player's struggles with current facilities offered by our team, I knew change had to come and it had to come quick."

It has been a long time since Connor Tanner played for the Edmonton Blizzard, but his first experience with a non-human skater for the Blizzard is still fresh in his mind. I remember hearing Julio Tokolosh's name called mid-way through the first round and I was excited to meet my new team member, but I cannot understate how shocked I was when I walked into the locker room and saw a rather small cow standing in front of me. He introduced himself in perfect English and I was just in complete and udder shock, pun intended. I mean it was not that long ago that we did not even have females in the league and now we are welcoming animals to skate alongside us.

(Un)fortunately for all involved in the Edmonton Blizzard Julio was not a vocal advocate for the animal civil rights movement until recently. We did not realize that we were not properly accomodating his needs as a cow. Our whole view of the entire situation changed when Pasta the Turtle became a vocal advocate for animal rights within the SHL locker room.

A very new member of the organization Pasta the Turtle was drafted 10th overall by the Edmonton Blizzard and within a few weeks of the draft, Pasta the Turtle was very vocal about potential specism within the IIHF off-shoot of the SHL.

Code:
I see massage therapists, but I don't see shell-scrubbers. I see showers, but I don't see a heat lamp to help me regulate my body temperature. This lack of support for different bodied athletes sends me to flashbacks of high school days... Bullies would stuff my locker with straws and call me names like "Sal Monella" and "Squirtle"

When those words hit my ears I knew change had to come and it had to come quick, we were not putting our players in the best position to succeed with the resources they have. Not only that, but we need to start using person first language with these players, why do we insist on calling him "Pasta the Turtle" you do not ever see me in the locker room asking where Jean-Paul Boivin the Human is. We need to be better with our facilities and our language surrounding these players.

What are words without actions though, we here in Edmonton are pledging $50,000,000 dollars towards upgraded facilities for our animal brothers. We encourage all other organizations to do the same, regardless of the amount of animals you currently roster. We need to prepare the league for equality, we need to allow our players to feel welcomed regardless of the locker room they are currently in. Please, I urge you to think of it as an investment for future free agent pitches, why would a player like Pasta pick a locker room in which he is not treated equally to his team members.

I thank you all for taking the time to listen to this press release, it is something that has been on my heart ever since hearing Pasta and his experience in the league thus far.

[Image: EDM_text_flat.png]

steveoiscool · 05-24-2021, 09:17 PM

it's pasta time to end the discrimination

Hordle · 05-24-2021, 09:20 PM

Is his name Pasta? Or is he a pasta turtle? What is a Pasta turtle?

visceralpotamus · 05-24-2021, 10:24 PM

So proud to have been drafted by such a forward thinking franchise! Hoping our collective advocacy can drive much needed change in an attempt to overthrow the human hegemony of this league!

**Lime** · 05-24-2021, 10:42 PM

waiting for the storyline where he changes his name to just pasta

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