Well dang it. I accidentally clicked on a very suspicious site and they stole all of my personal info. They now know where I live as well as my parents. They have all my bank information, my credit card numbers and my social security number. But I could care less about those, I'm really scared of them taking my one account that will change my life forever; they took my TWITTER ACCOUNT. Before this incident, I had probably the most haters compared to any players in SMJHL and even SHL. They would constantly change my wiki page and my DM is pure filth. But now, I'm just scared my hacker is also a hater and going to ruin my social status. So far, they have not posted anything yet but I tried contacting them to get my account back. I even offered them to use my credit card on absolutely anything for a month for my twitter account back but they refused. I'm scared on what they're planning to post.
The identity of Kev Kevens has been stolen from the very start! The real Kev retired on day one after getting locked out of the QCC locker room. A keen observer picked up on the fact that nobody noticed this, and hijacked Kev's phone contacts. Using this valuable information, the identity thief called Evok and Flex to let them know the new draft pick had been denied access to the locker room and needed to be let in at a certain time and date. The hijacker showed up and pretended to be the real Kev. He started developing as a player by creating a twitter account under this new name and routing all the money from contracts to his own bank account. It is unknown wether the real Kev ever noticed these thefts of identity and re-took the place of the impostor, or if a sinister deal was made behind the scenes to allow for this identity swap to happen and allow the real Kev to vanish. Since nobody has suspected anything about a potential identity theft until now, there's no real way of knowing if this whole story has merit or is just a myth.
Identity theft is scary, it's never happened to me, but all those commercials about protecting your identity can't be wrong. Which is why it was such a shock when Gregory Goode had his identity stolen. I'm not going to wow you with any fantastical stories about what happened, it wasn't like that. Instead it was as you'd imagine it: a lot of fraudulent purchases and accounts set up in his name in shady areas. The thief wasn't hunted down Taken style or anything like that, things rarely happen like that, though what did happen was no less of a fantastical story fit for Hollywood.
We open on Gregory Goode's apartment in Anchorage: cloud cover is rolling in the distance. A tranquil site. Zoom in the window to see Gregory on the phone, credit card in his hand. He is currently on the phone with his credit card company disputing several charges that weren't made by him. The person on the other end of the line is helpful, hopefully in a couple of days this will all get sorted out.
With the amount of accessibility to shopping, banking, and other money management online, it's not surprising that some stranger on the internet is able to take your data! You don't even necessarily need to fall prey to some Nigerian prince scam - Emilia is a big fan of food delivery services like Grubhub and Doordash; when she started getting electronic receipts every other day from the two services without placing an order, she started to get suspicious. Worse yet, when her bank (in the States) contacted her regarding suspicious activity, she'd seen her entire Season 60 balance taken out for some kind of "training camp"! When reaching out and contacting the organizers, she discovered that an olive-skinned elderly man had been using her name to get appearances with minor celebrities and other pro sports players! The nerve!
Thankfully she contacted the appropriate authorities and managed to recover some of her salary (which she then spent on her own actual SHL training camp). But how did someone who looks nothing like her manage to attend expensive in-person events without getting their identity verified? I guess it is 2021...
After another tough loss for the Winnipeg Aurora, Nick Brain was booed by some drunken fans walking out of the arena. One drunk rushed outside of security's grasp, and tried to tackle Nick Brain. Brain proceeded to dust off his fighting skills and beat the tobacco juice out of the drunk, but in the parking lot fracas, Nick's phone and credit card case fell out.
Noted pickpocket Jack B. Nimble swiped the valuables, and proceeded to max out Nick's credit card, while also hacking into his Twitter, making Nick endorse horrible things such as Rogers sports television programming, Comcast, Amazon.com, and the Call of Duty games. Luckily, Jack B. Nimble was arrested trying to use Nick's identity to score free cases of Mountain Dew, and had the hell beaten out of him by a gang of security officers, mostly for wanting to actually drink Mountain Dew. Nick would regain his identity, explain his fraudulent Twitter activity, and managed to cancel most of the credit card activity. All told Nick probably lost about $2,000 from the scheme, while Jack B. Nimble will be sent to San Quentin in California for sentencing, with his crimes leading to a total of 42,069 years in jail with no chance of parole. Jack B. Nimble better hope he becomes Jack B. Immortal soon!
Agent of Nick Brain: Center/Right Winger - WinnipegAurora
Agent of John Torrance: Advisor to the General Manager - WinnipegAurora
Agent of Anatoli Terrorov: Head Coach - ColoradoRaptors
I woke up this morning to a ton of strange messages from my GM, coach, and teammates. I had no idea what the hell was going on so I called my GM straight away.
When I called, he sounded concerned and upset. I asked what's going on and why I was getting so many messages. He didn't even explain and just kept saying why are you doing this? Why didn't you come straight to me instead of doing an impromptu media interview. I was so confused and kept telling him I had no idea what he was saying so he told me to just go look at the news.
My teammates messages were all saying how much they wanted me here and hopefully things can be worked out and that just made me more confused. I turned on TSN and saw it.
"Rock Strongo asks out of Minnesota, will not report to team until moved."
I immediately went online and found the interview and it seems someone has been impersonating me. They went around to all the news outlets and released a message to each of them saying I wanted out. I called my agent and he told me that they also got a hold of my credit cards and had bought plane tickets home to show people that I meant it when I said I was going home and not reporting to the team.
Right away I called the GM and told them what happened and then told my coaches and teammates at practice that it wasn't me who did that and that none of it is true. They all seemed relieved and now I have the authorities trying to track down who did this.
(286 words)
Guy Incognito - D - #24
Texas Renegades Season 76
0-0-0
Regular Season - [G 0] [A 0] [Pts 0] [+/- 0] [PIM 0] [Hits 0] [SB 0]
Rich Moderators
S30, S31, S39 Challenge Cup Champion
Posts:2,850 Threads: 169 Joined: Jun 2015 Reputation:25
Discord: rich_shl
Pronouns: Undisclosed
Player: Adam Prpich
First-Name Last-Name, is the unluckiest man in Philly when it comes to identity theft. His identity has been stolen by scammers on approximately 47 occasions since 2020. And that's the ones he knows about!
It's not unusual for Last-Name to be caught out when paying for his groceries to discover that there's no money left on any of his cards. It's getting quite embarrassing. There are at least 30 odd incidents that it's happened to me in Wal-mart. There's me with my trolley stacked high and not a bean to pay for it. The girls at the store kid me on about me using my cards with no available credit all the time. ID theft, who'd have thought it?' He then explained quite often he has to go weeks without money while the banks sort it out. On one particular day last December, someone had obtained a falsely obtained credit card in his name and purchased a motor boat, an iPhone, sex toys, a holiday to Mexico, fine art, jewellery, a new car, a slap up meal for eight, a few crates of vintage wine and a motor cycle. Christmas was ruined as it took months for the bank's to sort it out. His wife is feeling the strain too and on more than one occasion she has discovered strangers raking through the wheelie bin. She told us one chap had gone head first into the bin and was unable to get out until she found him the following morning. The couple are also being telephoned thousands of times a week being asked for their card's pin numbers, being hassled by debt recovery companies, being called about the house sale and bothered by people pretending to be from their bank.
Pandemonium after Steve Harrington fires off a few controversial tweets - seemingly having been hacked. The only lead so far is that literally only Tylar likes ketchup and hotdogs with his mac and cheese.
Pasta the Turtle was very startled to discover that his online persona had been stolen and that some miscreant had been posting across multiple platforms some very salcicious and unsavoury images as well as anti-turrtle propaganda. As many of you know, Pasta has been an ardent supporter of animal rights throughout his SHL career. Unfortunately, divisions don't only occur across the human/animal lines, but also within the reptile kingdom itself. There is a group of specist lizards who believe that all reptiles are speedy, unshelled, land dwelling geckos. They suggest that the purity of the gecko bloodline must be upheld, and that all other forms of reptilian life are abominations to be scorned. Chief among these targets are reptiles, often described as "thicc sloe bois" who use their shells to manipulate the world economy. This is the type of horrific content that Pasta found on his media accounts, including slogans like "the only good turtle is a shell-less turtle," as well as recipes for turtle shell soup.
Pasta was quick to report and gain control of his accounts, and was reinvigorated to stand up for the equality of his much-maligned species, not just against humans, but those within his own kingdom.
‘Who the fu…’ Urquhart mutters to himself, putting down his big plate of fried ravioli (it’s a St Louis thing, get educated needs) and wandering to the door. ‘Here’s your package, sir’ the overly enthusiastic UPS guy says, handing him a small box in what can only be described as discreet packaging. ‘Thanks’ he says, with a half smile and all the enthusiasm he can muster, closing the door and heading back to his t-ravs.
As he munches the rest of his delicious crunchy pasta treats, he racks his brain, trying to work out what he ordered, and when! He puts the empty plate to the side and picks up the package. It gives a slight rattle when shaken. Even more confusing. He starts to rip away the packaging and is confronted with an unfamiliar logo:
Erect-O-Max! Stamina and Performance! For Men!
‘Huh, I could use more stamina and performance on the ice’ he says to himself, popping a couple of the odd, blue pills out of the packet and necking them. He grabs his wallet, phone and keys and heads to practice. When he gets into the locker room, he notices something familiar taped to the whiteboard. ‘Oh man, my credit card! Very funny guys! Also, did someone shrink my practice shorts? They feel a lot tighter than usu….oh. Uh coach, I think I might sit practice out today’
Identity theft is no joke at any level. Imagine the surprise of Luca Del Vecchio when he was taken into custody after the Platoon’s 5-4 win over the Hamilton Steelhawks last week. Del Vecchio had been arrested on charges of theft at various stores, something that was completely impossible as prior to the Steelhawks game, the Platoon were on a multi-game road trip and not in Maryland at all. With this alibi, and the police cross-referencing the purchase times with game times, Luca was cleared of all charges, he was issued a new credit card and was told to collaborate with the police during the investigation.
About two weeks later, the police arrested the culprit, someone who worked for the credit card company managed to make a copy of the credit card and went on a shopping spree, but also decided to help themselves to some “free extras”. Using the hockey games as a cover up so that Del Vecchio could not see the charges come in. In the end, the person was arrested, the insurances reimbursed Del Vecchio and life moved on.
(183 words)
Well it looks like I have gotten myself into a bit of a pickle. As many of you may know my family and I are quite active in supporting the development of ice hockey in South Korea. It would seem that our neighbors to the north have taken notice and have begun to use my likeness to promote the strength and grandeur of Kim Jong Un. First, to display the supreme leader's awesome power a video was circulated of a terribly off balance Kim winding up and somehow launching an absolute howitzer. The video then cuts to a radar gun that clocks in at 120 miles per hour followed by me collapsed on the ice in a pool of blood, video spliced together from my long career. To add insult to injury, thanks to deep fake technology, the next part of the video features me verbally fellating the big man and praising his unlimited hockey potential, asking for personal lessons. At least my bank account hasn't been touched.
xTri
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